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business; patching up doors and windows; making beds and 

seats; and getting our rough lodging into shape; Irvine and 

his sister made their appearance together; she for 

neighbourliness and general curiosity; he; because he was 

working for me; to my sorrow; cutting firewood at I forget 

how much a day。  The way that he set about cutting wood was 

characteristic。  We were at that moment patching up and 

unpacking in the kitchen。  Down he sat on one side; and down 

sat his sister on the other。  Both were chewing pine…tree 

gum; and he; to my annoyance; accompanied that simple 

pleasure with profuse expectoration。  She rattled away; 

talking up hill and down dale; laughing; tossing her head; 

showing her brilliant teeth。  He looked on in silence; now 

spitting heavily on the floor; now putting his head back and 

uttering a loud; discordant; joyless laugh。  He had a tangle 

of shock hair; the colour of wool; his mouth was a grin; 

although as strong as a horse; he looked neither heavy nor 

yet adroit; only leggy; coltish; and in the road。  But it was 

plain he was in high spirits; thoroughly enjoying his visit; 

and he laughed frankly whenever we failed to accomplish what 

we were about。  This was scarcely helpful:  it was even; to 

amateur carpenters; embarrassing; but it lasted until we 

knocked off work and began to get dinner。  Then Mrs。 Hanson 

remembered she should have been gone an hour ago; and the 

pair retired; and the lady's laughter died away among the 

nutmegs down the path。  That was Irvine's first day's work in 

my employment … the devil take him!



The next morning he returned and; as he was this time alone; 

he bestowed his conversation upon us with great liberality。  

He prided himself on his intelligence; asked us if we knew 

the school ma'am。  HE didn't think much of her; anyway。  He 

had tried her; he had。  He had put a question to her。  If a 

tree a hundred feet high were to fall a foot a day; how long 

would it take to fall right down?  She had not been able to 

solve the problem。  〃She don't know nothing;〃 he opined。  He 

told us how a friend of his kept a school with a revolver; 

and chuckled mightily over that; his friend could teach 

school; he could。  All the time he kept chewing gum and 

spitting。  He would stand a while looking down; and then he 

would toss back his shock of hair; and laugh hoarsely; and 

spit; and bring forward a new subject。  A man; he told us; 

who bore a grudge against him; had poisoned his dog。  〃That 

was a low thing for a man to do now; wasn't it?  It wasn't 

like a man; that; nohow。  But I got even with him:  I pisoned 

HIS dog。〃  His clumsy utterance; his rude embarrassed manner; 

set a fresh value on the stupidity of his remarks。  I do not 

think I ever appreciated the meaning of two words until I 

knew Irvine … the verb; loaf; and the noun; oaf; between 

them; they complete his portrait。  He could lounge; and 

wriggle; and rub himself against the wall; and grin; and be 

more in everybody's way than any other two people that I ever 

set my eyes on。  Nothing that he did became him; and yet you 

were conscious that he was one of your own race; that his 

mind was cumbrously at work; revolving the problem of 

existence like a quid of gum; and in his own cloudy manner 

enjoying life; and passing judgment on his fellows。  Above 

all things; he was delighted with himself。  You would not 

have thought it; from his uneasy manners and troubled; 

struggling utterance; but he loved himself to the marrow; and 

was happy and proud like a peacock on a rail。



His self…esteem was; indeed; the one joint in his harness。  

He could be got to work; and even kept at work; by flattery。  

As long as my wife stood over him; crying out how strong he 

was; so long exactly he would stick to the matter in hand; 

and the moment she turned her back; or ceased to praise him; 

he would stop。  His physical strength was wonderful; and to 

have a woman stand by and admire his achievements; warmed his 

heart like sunshine。  Yet he was as cowardly as he was 

powerful; and felt no shame in owning to the weakness。  

Something was once wanted from the crazy platform over the 

shaft; and he at once refused to venture there … 〃did not 

like;〃 as he said; 〃foolen' round them kind o' places;〃 and 

let my wife go instead of him; looking on with a grin。  

Vanity; where it rules; is usually more heroic:  but Irvine 

steadily approved himself; and expected others to approve 

him; rather looked down upon my wife; and decidedly expected 

her to look up to him; on the strength of his superior 

prudence。



Yet the strangest part of the whole matter was perhaps this; 

that Irvine was as beautiful as a statue。  His features were; 

in themselves; perfect; it was only his cloudy; uncouth; and 

coarse expression that disfigured them。  So much strength 

residing in so spare a frame was proof sufficient of the 

accuracy of his shape。  He must have been built somewhat 

after the pattern of Jack Sheppard; but the famous 

housebreaker; we may be certain; was no lout。  It was by the 

extraordinary powers of his mind no less than by the vigour 

of his body; that he broke his strong prison with such 

imperfect implements; turning the very obstacles to service。  

Irvine; in the same case; would have sat down and spat; and 

grumbled curses。  He had the soul of a fat sheep; but; 

regarded as an artist's model; the exterior of a Greek God。  

It was a cruel thought to persons less favoured in their 

birth; that this creature; endowed … to use the language of 

theatres … with extraordinary 〃means;〃 should so manage to 

misemploy them that he looked ugly and almost deformed。  It 

was only by an effort of abstraction; and after many days; 

that you discovered what he was。



By playing on the oaf's conceit; and standing closely over 

him; we got a path made round the corner of the dump to our 

door; so that we could come and go with decent ease; and he 

even enjoyed the work; for in that there were boulders to be 

plucked up bodily; bushes to be uprooted; and other occasions 

for athletic display:  but cutting wood was a different 

matter。  Anybody could cut wood; and; besides; my wife was 

tired of supervising him; and had other things to attend to。  

And; in short; days went by; and Irvine came daily; and 

talked and lounged and spat; but the firewood remained intact 

as sleepers on the platform or growing trees upon the 

mountainside。  Irvine; as a woodcutter; we could tolerate; 

but Irvine as a friend of the family; at so much a day; was 

too bald an imposition; and at length; on the afternoon of 

the fourth or fifth day of our connection; I explained to 

him; as clearly as I could; the light in which I had grown to 

regard his presence。  I pointed out to him that I could not 

continue to give him a salary for spitting on the floor; and 

this expression; which came after a good many others; at last 

penetrated his obdurate wits。  He rose at once; and said if 

that was the way he was going to be spoke to; he reckoned he 

would quit。  And; no one interposing; he departed。



So far; so good。  But we had no firewood。  The next 

afternoon; I strolled down to Rufe's and consulted him on the 

subject。  It was a very droll interview; in the large; bare 

north room of the Silverado Hotel; Mrs。 Hanson's patchwork on 

a frame; and Rufe; and his wife; and I; and the oaf himself; 

all more or less embarrassed。  Rufe announced there was 

nobody in the neighbourhood but Irvine who could do a day's 

work for anybody。  Irvine; thereupon; refused to have any 

more to do with my service; he 〃wouldn't work no more for a 

man as had spoke to him's I had done。〃  I found myself on the 

point of the last humiliation … driven to beseech the 

creature whom I had just dismissed with insult:  but I took 

the high hand in despair; said there must be no talk of 

Irvine coming back unless matters were to be differently 

managed; that I would rather chop firewood for myself than be 

fooled; and; in short; the Hansons being eager for the lad's 

hire; I so imposed upon them with merely affected resolution; 

that they ended by begging me to re…employ him again; on a 

solemn promise that he should be more industrious。  The 

promise; I am bound to say; was kept。  We soon had a fine 

pile of firewood at our door; and if Caliban gave me the cold 

shoulder and spared me his conversation; I thought none the 

worse of him for that; nor did I find my days much longer for 

the deprivation。



The leading spirit of the family was; I am inclined to fancy; 

Mrs。 Hanson。  Her social brilliancy somewhat dazzled the 

others; and she had more of the small change of sense。  It 

was she who faced Kelmar; for instance; and perhaps; if she 

had been alone; Kelmar would have had no rule within her 

doors。  Rufe; to be sure; had a fine; sober; open…air 

a

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