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Book of Nonsense


by Edward Lear









There was an Old Derry down Derry;

Who loved to see little folks merry;

So he made them a Book;

And with laughter they shook;

At the fun of that Derry down Derry!









TO THE GREAT…GRANDCHILDREN; 

GRAND…NEPHEWS; AND GRAND…NIECES

OF EDWARD; 13th EARL OF DERBY;



THIS BOOK OF DRAWINGS AND VERSES



(The greater part of which were originally 

made and composed for their parents;)



IS DEDICATED BY THE AUTHOR;



EDWARD LEAR









1。



There was an Old Man with a beard;

Who said; 〃It is just as I feared!

Two Owls and a Hen;

Four Larks and a Wren;

Have all built their nests in my beard!〃







2。



There was a Young Lady of Ryde;

Whose shoe…strings were seldom untied;

She purchased some clogs;

And some small spotty dogs;

And frequently walked about Ryde。







3。



There was an Old Man with a nose;

Who said; 〃If you choose to suppose;

That my nose is too long;

You are certainly wrong!〃

That remarkable Man with a nose。







4。



There was an Old Man on a hill;

Who seldom; if ever; stood still;

He ran up and down;

In his Grandmother's gown;

Which adorned that Old Man on a hill。







5。



There was a Young Lady whose bonnet;

Came untied when the birds sate upon it;

But she said; 〃I don't care!

All the birds in the air

Are welcome to sit on my bonnet!〃







6。



There was a Young Person of Smyrna;

Whose Grandmother threatened to burn her;

But she seized on the Cat;

And said; 〃Granny; burn that!

〃You incongruous Old Woman of Smyrna!〃







7。



There was an Old Person of Chili;

Whose conduct was painful and silly;

He sate on the stairs;

Eating apples and pears;

That imprudent Old Person of Chili。







8。



There was an Old Man with a gong;

Who bumped at it all the day long;

But they called out; 〃O law!

You〃re a horrid old bore!〃

So they smashed that Old Man with a gong。







9。



There was an Old Lady of Chertsey;

Who made a remarkable curtsey;

She twirled round and round;

Till she sunk underground;

Which distressed all the people of Chertsey。







10。



There was an Old Man in a tree;

Who was horribly bored by a Bee;

When they said; 〃Does it buzz?〃

He replied; 〃Yes; it does!

〃It's a regular brute of a Bee!〃







11。



There was an Old Man with a flute;

A sarpint ran into his boot;

But he played day and night;

Till the sarpint took flight;

And avoided that man with a flute。







12。



There was a Young Lady whose chin;

Resembled the point of a pin:

So she had it made sharp;

And purchased a harp;

And played several tunes with her chin。







13。



There was an Old Man of Kilkenny;

Who never had more than a penny;

He spent all that money;

In onions and honey;

That wayward Old Man of Kilkenny。







14。



There was an Old Person of Ischia;

Whose conduct grew friskier and friskier;

He danced hornpipes and jigs;

And ate thousands of figs;

That lively Old Person of Ischia。







15。



There was an Old Man in a boat;

Who said; 〃I'm afloat! I'm afloat!〃

When they said; 〃No! you ain't!〃

He was ready to faint;

That unhappy Old Man in a boat。







16。



There was a Young lady of Portugal;

Whose ideas were excessively nautical;

She climbed up a tree;

To examine the sea;

But declared she would never leave Portugal。







17。



There was an Old Man of Moldavia;

Who had the most curious behaviour;

For while be was able;

He slept on a table;

That funny Old Man of Moldavia







18。



There was an Old Man of Madras;

Who rode on a cream…coloured ass;

But the length of its ears;

So promoted his fears;

That it killed that Old Man of Madras。







19。



There was an Old Person of Leeds;

Whose head was infested with beads;

She sat on a stool;

And ate gooseberry fool;

Which agreed with that person of Leeds。







20。



There was an Old Man of Peru;

Who never knew what he should do;

So he tore off his hair;

And behaved like a bear;

That intrinsic Old Man of Peru。







21。



There was an Old Person of Hurst;

Who drank when he was not athirst;

When they said; 〃You'll grow fatter;〃

He answered; 〃What matter?〃

That globular Person of Hurst。







22。



There was a Young person of Crete;

Whose toilette was far from complete;

She dressed in a sack;

Spickle…speckled with black;

That ombliferous person of Crete。







23。



There was an Old Man of the Isles;

Whose face was pervaded with smiles;

He sung high dum diddle;

And played on the fiddle;

That amiable Man of the Isles。







24。



There was an Old Person of Buda;

Whose conduct grew ruder and ruder;

Till at last; with a hammer;

They silenced his clamour;

By smashing that Person of Buda







25。



There was an Old Man of Columbia;

Who was thirsty; and called out for some beer;

But they brought it quite hot;

In a small copper pot;

Which disgusted that man of Columbia。







26。



There was a young Lady of Dorking;

Who bought a large bonnet for walking;

But its colour and size;

So bedazzled her eyes;

That she very soon went back to Dorking。







27。



There was an Old Man who supposed;

That the street door was partially closed;

But some very large rats;

Ate his coats and his hats;

While that futile old gentleman dozed。







28。



There was an Old Man of the West;

Who wore a pale plum…coloured vest;

When they said; 〃Does it fit?〃

He replied; 〃Not a bit!〃

That uneasy Old Man of the West。







29。



There was an Old Man of the Wrekin;

Whose shoes made a horrible creaking;

But they said; 〃Tell us whether;

Your shoes are of leather;

Or of what; you Old Man of the Wrekin?〃







30。



There was a Young Lady whose eyes;

Were unique as to colour and size;

When she opened them wide;

People all turned aside;

And started away in surprise。







31。



There was a Young Lady of Norway;

Who casually sat in a doorway;

When the door squeezed her flat;

She exclaimed; 〃What of that?〃

This courageous Young Lady of Norway。







32。



There was an Old Man of Vienna;

Who lived upon Tincture of Senna;

When that did not agree;

He took Camomile Tea;

That nasty Old Man of Vienna。







33。



There was an Old Person whose habits;

Induced him to feed upon Rabbits;

When he'd eaten eighteen;

He turned perfectly green;

Upon which he relinquished those habits。







34。



There was an old person of Dover;

Who rushed through a field of blue Clover;

But some very large bees;

Stung his nose and his knees;

So he very soon went back to Dover。







35。



There was an Old Man of Marseilles;

Whose daughters wore bottle…green veils;

They caught several Fish;

Which they put in a dish;

And sent to their Pa at Marseilles。







36。



There was an Old Person of Cadiz;

Who was always polite to all ladies;

But in handing his daughter;

He fell into the water;

Which drowned that Old Person of Cadiz。







37。



There was an Old Person of Basing;

Whose presence of mind was amazing;

He purchased a steed;

Which he rode at full speed;

And escaped from the people of Basing。







38。



There was an Old Man of Quebec;

A beetle ran over his neck;

But he cried; 〃With a needle;

I'll slay you; O beadle!〃

That angry Old Man of Quebec。







39。



There was an Old Person of Philae;

Whose conduct was scroobious and wily;

He rushed up a Palm;

When the weather was calm;

And observed all the ruins of Philae。







40。



There was a Young Lady of Bute;

Who played on a silver…gilt flute;

She played several jigs;

To her uncle's white pigs;

That amusing Young Lady of Bute。







41。



There was a Young Lady whose nose;

Was so long that it reached to her toes;

So she hired an Old Lady;

Whose conduct was steady;

To carry that wonderful nose。







42。



There was a Young Lady of Turkey;

Who wept when the weather was murky;

When the day turned out fine;

She ceased to repine;

That capricious Young Lady of Turkey。







43。



There was an Old Man of Apulia;

Whose conduct was very peculiar;

He fed twenty sons;

Upon nothing but buns;

That whimsical Man of Apulia。







44。



There was an Old Man with a poker;

Who painted his face with red oker;

When they said; 〃You're a Guy!〃

He made no reply;

But knocked them all down with his poker。







45。



There was an Old Person of Prague;

Who was suddenly seized with the plague;

But t

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