wreck of the golden mary(金玛丽的遗骸)-第6节
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permitted； but that did not often happen； and how we two parties kept
within the same horizon； as we did； He； who mercifully permitted it to be
so for our consolation； only knows。 I never shall forget the looks with
which； when the morning light came； we used to gaze about us over the
stormy waters； for the other boat。 We once parted company for seventy…
two hours； and we believed them to have gone down； as they did us。 The
joy on both sides when we came within view of one another again； had
something in a manner Divine in it； each was so forgetful of individual
suffering； in tears of delight and sympathy for the people in the other boat。
I have been wanting to get round to the individual or personal part of
my subject； as I call it； and the foregoing incident puts me in the right way。
The patience and good disposition aboard of us； was wonderful。 I was not
surprised by it in the women； for all men born of women know what great
qualities they will show when men will fail； but； I own I was a little
surprised by it in some of the men。 Among one…and…thirty people
assembled at the best of times； there will usually； I should say； be two or
three uncertain tempers。 I knew that I had more than one rough temper
with me among my own people； for I had chosen those for the Long…boat
that I might have them under my eye。 But； they softened under their
misery； and were as considerate of the ladies； and as compassionate of the
child； as the best among us； or among menthey could not have been
more so。 I heard scarcely any complaining。 The party lying down would
moan a good deal in their sleep； and I would often notice a mannot
always the same man； it is to be understood； but nearly all of them at one
time or othersitting moaning at his oar； or in his place； as he looked
mistily over the sea。 When it happened to be long before I could catch his
eye； he would go on moaning all the time in the dismallest manner； but；
when our looks met； he would brighten and leave off。 I almost always got
the impression that he did not know what sound he had been making； but
that he thought he had been humming a tune。
Our sufferings from cold and wet were far greater than our sufferings
from hunger。 We managed to keep the child warm； but； I doubt if any one
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else among us ever was warm for five minutes together； and the shivering；
and the chattering of teeth； were sad to hear。 The child cried a little at first
for her lost playfellow； the Golden Mary； but hardly ever whimpered
afterwards； and when the state of the weather made it possible； she used
now and then to be held up in the arms of some of us； to look over the sea
for John Steadiman's boat。 I see the golden hair and the innocent face now；
between me and the driving clouds； like an angel going to fly away。
It had happened on the second day； towards night； that Mrs。 Atherfield；
in getting Little Lucy to sleep； sang her a song。 She had a soft； melodious
voice； and； when she had finished it； our people up and begged for another。
She sang them another； and after it had fallen dark ended with the Evening
Hymn。 From that time； whenever anything could be heard above the sea
and wind； and while she had any voice left； nothing would serve the
people but that she should sing at sunset。 She always did； and always
ended with the Evening Hymn。 We mostly took up the last line； and shed
tears when it was done； but not miserably。 We had a prayer night and
morning； also； when the weather allowed of it。
Twelve nights and eleven days we had been driving in the boat； when
old Mr。 Rarx began to be delirious； and to cry out to me to throw the gold
overboard or it would sink us； and we should all be lost。 For days past the
child had been declining； and that was the great cause of his wildness。 He
had been over and over again shrieking out to me to give her all the
remaining meat； to give her all the remaining rum； to save her at any cost；
or we should all be ruined。 At this time； she lay in her mother's arms at my
feet。 One of her little hands was almost always creeping about her
mother's neck or chin。 I had watched the wasting of the little hand； and I
knew it was nearly over。
The old man's cries were so discordant with the mother's love and
submission； that I called out to him in an angry voice； unless he held his
peace on the instant； I would order him to be knocked on the head and
thrown overboard。 He was mute then； until the child died； very peacefully；
an hour afterwards： which was known to all in the boat by the mother's
breaking out into lamentations for the first time since the wreckfor； she
had great fortitude and constancy； though she was a little gentle woman。
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Old Mr。 Rarx then became quite ungovernable； tearing what rags he had
on him； raging in imprecations； and calling to me that if I had thrown the
gold overboard （always the gold with him！） I might have saved the child。
〃And now；〃 says he； in a terrible voice； 〃we shall founder； and all go to the
Devil； for our sins will sink us； when we have no innocent child to bear us
up！〃 We so discovered with amazement； that this old wretch had only
cared for the life of the pretty little creature dear to all of us； because of
the influence he superstitiously hoped she might have in preserving him！
Altogether it was too much for the smith or armourer； who was sitting next
the old man； to bear。 He took him by the throat and rolled him under the
thwarts； where he lay still enough for hours afterwards。
All that thirteenth night； Miss Coleshaw； lying across my knees as I
kept the helm； comforted and supported the poor mother。 Her child；
covered with a pea…jacket of mine； lay in her lap。 It troubled me all night
to think that there was no Prayer…Book among us； and that I could
remember but very few of the exact words of the burial service。 When I
stood up at broad day； all knew what was going to be done； and I noticed
that my poor fellows made the motion of uncovering their heads； though
their heads had been stark bare to the sky and sea for many a weary hour。
There was a long heavy swell on； but otherwise it was a fair morning； and
there were broad fields of sunlight on the waves in the east。 I said no more
than this： 〃I am the Resurrection and the Life； saith the Lord。 He raised the
daughter of Jairus the ruler； and said she was not dead but slept。 He raised
the widow's son。 He arose Himself； and was seen of many。 He loved little
children； saying； Suffer them to come unto Me and rebuke them not； for of
such is the kingdom of heaven。 In His name； my friends； and committed to
His merciful goodness！〃 With those words I laid my rough face softly on
the placid little forehead； and buried the Golden Lucy in the grave of the
Golden Mary。
Having had it on my mind to relate the end of this dear little child； I
have omitted something from its exact place； which I will supply here。 It
will come quite as well here as anywhere else。
Foreseeing that if the boat lived through the stormy weather； the time
must come； and soon come； when we should have absolutely no morsel to
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eat； I had one momentous point often in my thoughts。 Although I had；
years before that； fully satisfied myself that the instances in which human
beings in the last distress have fed upon each other； are exceedingly few；
and have very seldom indeed （if ever） occurred when the people in distress；
however dreadful their extremity； have been accustomed to moderate
forbearance and restraint； I say； though I had long before quite satisfied
my mind on this topic； I felt doubtful whether there might not have been in
former cases some harm and danger from keeping it out of sight and
pretending not to think of it。 I felt doubtful whether some minds； growing
weak with fasting and exposure and having such a terrific idea to dwell
upon in secre
