memories and portraits-第23节

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should　be　forced　to　lock　him　in　a　garret；　and　what　with　his　whining　

jealousies　and　his　foible　for　falsehood；　in　a　year's　time　he　would　

have　gone　far　to　weary　out　our　love。　　I　was　about　to　compare　him　to　

Sir　Willoughby　Patterne；　but　the　Patternes　have　a　manlier　sense　of　

their　own　merits；　and　the　parallel；　besides；　is　ready。　　Hans　

Christian　Andersen；　as　we　behold　him　in　his　startling　memoirs；　

thrilling　from　top　to　toe　with　an　excruciating　vanity；　and　scouting　

even　along　the　street　for　shadows　of　offence　…　here　was　the　talking　

dog。



It　is　just　this　rage　for　consideration　that　has　betrayed　the　dog　

into　his　satellite　position　as　the　friend　of　man。　　The　cat；　an　

animal　of　franker　appetites；　preserves　his　independence。　　But　the　

dog；　with　one　eye　ever　on　the　audience；　has　been　wheedled　into　

slavery；　and　praised　and　patted　into　the　renunciation　of　his　

nature。　　Once　he　ceased　hunting　and　became　man's　plate…licker；　the　

Rubicon　was　crossed。　　Thenceforth　he　was　a　gentleman　of　leisure；　

and　except　the　few　whom　we　keep　working；　the　whole　race　grew　more　

and　more　self…conscious；　mannered　and　affected。　　The　number　of　

things　that　a　small　dog　does　naturally　is　strangely　small。　　

Enjoying　better　spirits　and　not　crushed　under　material　cares；　he　is　

far　more　theatrical　than　average　man。　　His　whole　life；　if　he　be　a　

dog　of　any　pretension　to　gallantry；　is　spent　in　a　vain　show；　and　in　

the　hot　pursuit　of　admiration。　　Take　out　your　puppy　for　a　walk；　and　

you　will　find　the　little　ball　of　fur　clumsy；　stupid；　bewildered；　

but　natural。　　Let　but　a　few　months　pass；　and　when　you　repeat　the　

process　you　will　find　nature　buried　in　convention。　　He　will　do　

nothing　plainly；　but　the　simplest　processes　of　our　material　life　

will　all　be　bent　into　the　forms　of　an　elaborate　and　mysterious　

etiquette。　　Instinct；　says　the　fool；　has　awakened。　　But　it　is　not　

so。　　Some　dogs　…　some；　at　the　very　least　…　if　they　be　kept　separate　

from　others；　remain　quite　natural；　and　these；　when　at　length　they　

meet　with　a　companion　of　experience；　and　have　the　game　explained　to　

them；　distinguish　themselves　by　the　severity　of　their　devotion　to　

its　rules。　　I　wish　I　were　allowed　to　tell　a　story　which　would　

radiantly　illuminate　the　point；　but　men；　like　dogs；　have　an　

elaborate　and　mysterious　etiquette。　　It　is　their　bond　of　sympathy　

that　both　are　the　children　of　convention。



The　person；　man　or　dog；　who　has　a　conscience　is　eternally　condemned　

to　some　degree　of　humbug；　the　sense　of　the　law　in　their　members　

fatally　precipitates　either　towards　a　frozen　and　affected　bearing。　　

And　the　converse　is　true；　and　in　the　elaborate　and　conscious　

manners　of　the　dog；　moral　opinions　and　the　love　of　the　ideal　stand　

confessed。　　To　follow　for　ten　minutes　in　the　street　some　

swaggering；　canine　cavalier；　is　to　receive　a　lesson　in　dramatic　art　

and　the　cultured　conduct　of　the　body；　in　every　act　and　gesture　you　

see　him　true　to　a　refined　conception；　and　the　dullest　cur；　

beholding　him；　pricks　up　his　ear　and　proceeds　to　imitate　and　parody　

that　charming　ease。　　For　to　be　a　high…mannered　and　high…minded　

gentleman；　careless；　affable；　and　gay；　is　the　inborn　pretension　of　

the　dog。　　The　large　dog；　so　much　lazier；　so　much　more　weighed　upon　

with　matter；　so　majestic　in　repose；　so　beautiful　in　effort；　is　born　

with　the　dramatic　means　to　wholly　represent　the　part。　　And　it　is　

more　pathetic　and　perhaps　more　instructive　to　consider　the　small　

dog　in　his　conscientious　and　imperfect　efforts　to　outdo　Sir　Philip　

Sidney。　　For　the　ideal　of　the　dog　is　feudal　and　religious；　the　

ever…present　polytheism；　the　whip…bearing　Olympus　of　mankind；　rules　

them　on　the　one　hand；　on　the　other；　their　singular　difference　of　

size　and　strength　among　themselves　effectually　prevents　the　

appearance　of　the　democratic　notion。　　Or　we　might　more　exactly　

compare　their　society　to　the　curious　spectacle　presented　by　a　

school　…　ushers；　monitors；　and　big　and　little　boys　…　qualified　by　

one　circumstance；　the　introduction　of　the　other　sex。　　In　each；　we　

should　observe　a　somewhat　similar　tension　of　manner；　and　somewhat　

similar　points　of　honour。　　In　each　the　larger　animal　keeps　a　

contemptuous　good　humour；　in　each　the　smaller　annoys　him　with　wasp…

like　impudence；　certain　of　practical　immunity；　in　each　we　shall　

find　a　double　life　producing　double　characters；　and　an　excursive　

and　noisy　heroism　combined　with　a　fair　amount　of　practical　

timidity。　　I　have　known　dogs；　and　I　have　known　school　heroes　that；　

set　aside　the　fur；　could　hardly　have　been　told　apart；　and　if　we　

desire　to　understand　the　chivalry　of　old；　we　must　turn　to　the　

school　playfields　or　the　dungheap　where　the　dogs　are　trooping。



Woman；　with　the　dog；　has　been　long　enfranchised。　　Incessant　

massacre　of　female　innocents　has　changed　the　proportions　of　the　

sexes　and　perverted　their　relations。　　Thus；　when　we　regard　the　

manners　of　the　dog；　we　see　a　romantic　and　monogamous　animal；　once　

perhaps　as　delicate　as　the　cat；　at　war　with　impossible　conditions。　　

Man　has　much　to　answer　for；　and　the　part　he　plays　is　yet　more　

damnable　and　parlous　than　Corin's　in　the　eyes　of　Touchstone。　　But　

his　intervention　has　at　least　created　an　imperial　situation　for　the　

rare　surviving　ladies。　　In　that　society　they　reign　without　a　rival：　

conscious　queens；　and　in　the　only　instance　of　a　canine　wife…beater　

that　has　ever　fallen　under　my　notice；　the　criminal　was　somewhat　

excused　by　the　circumstances　of　his　story。　　He　is　a　little；　very　

alert；　well…bred；　intelligent　Skye；　as　black　as　a　hat；　with　a　wet　

bramble　for　a　nose　and　two　cairngorms　for　eyes。　　To　the　human　

observer；　he　is　decidedly　well…looking；　but　to　the　ladies　of　his　

race　he　seems　abhorrent。　　A　thorough　elaborate　gentleman；　of　the　

plume　and　sword…knot　order；　he　was　born　with　a　nice　sense　of　

gallantry　to　women。　　He　took　at　their　hands　the　most　outrageous　

treatment；　I　have　heard　him　bleating　like　a　sheep；　I　have　seen　him　

streaming　blood；　and　his　ear　tattered　like　a　regimental　banner；　and　

yet　he　would　scorn　to　make　reprisals。　　Nay　more；　when　a　human　lady　

upraised　the　contumelious　whip　against　the　very　dame　who　had　been　

so　cruelly　misusing　him；　my　little　great…heart　gave　but　one　hoarse　

cry　and　fell　upon　the　tyrant　tooth　and　nail。　　This　is　the　tale　of　a　

soul's　tragedy。　　After　three　years　of　unavailing　chivalry；　he　

suddenly；　in　one　hour；　threw　off　the　yoke　of　obligation；　had　he　

been　Shakespeare　he　would　then　have　written　TROILUS　AND　CRESSIDA　to　

brand　the　offending　sex；　but　being　only　a　little　dog；　he　began　to　

bite　them。　　The　surprise　of　the　ladies　whom　he　attacked　indicated　

the　monstrosity　of　his　offence；　but　he　had　fairly　beaten　off　his　

better　angel；　fairly　committed　moral　suicide；　for　almost　in　the　

same　hour；　throwing　aside　the　last　rags　of　decency；　he　proceeded　to　

attack　the　aged　also。　　The　fact　is　worth　remark；　showing；　as　it　

does；　that　ethical　laws　are　common　both　to　dogs　and　men；　and　that　

with　both　a　single　deliberate　violation　of　the　conscience　loosens　

all。　　〃But　while　the　lamp　holds　on　to　burn；〃　says　the　paraphrase；　

〃the　greatest　sinner　may　return。〃　　I　have　been　cheered　to　see　

symptoms　of　effectual　penitence　in　my　sweet　ruffian；　and　by　the　

handling　that　he　accepted　uncomplainingly　the　other　day　from　an　

indignant　fair　one；　I　begin　to　hope　the　period　of　STURM　UND　DRANG　

is　closed。



All　these　little　gentlemen　are　subtle　casuists。　　The　duty　to　the　

female　dog　is　plain；　but　where　competing　duties　rise；　down　they　

will　sit　and　study　them　out；　like　Jesuit　confessors。　　I　knew　

another　little　Skye；　somewhat　plain　in　manner　and　appearance；　but　a　

creature　compact　of　amiability　and　solid　wisdom。　　His　family　going　

abroad　for　a　winter；　he　was　received　for　that　period　by　an　uncle　in　

the　same　city。　　The　winter　over；　his　own　family　home　again；　and　his　

own　house　（of　which　he　was　very　proud）　reopened；　he　found　himself　

in　a　dilemma　between　two　conflicting　duties　of　loyalty　and　

gratitude。　　His　old　friends　were　not　to　be　neglected；　but　it　seemed　

hardly　decent　to　desert　the　new。　　This　was　how　he　solved　the　

problem。　　Every　morning；　as　soon　as　the　door　was　opened；　of　posted　

Coolin　to　his　uncle's；　visited　the　children　in　the　nursery；　saluted　

the　whole　family；　and　was　back　at　home　in　time　for　breakfast　and　

his　bit　of　fish。　　Nor　was　this　done　without　a　sacrifice　on　his　

part；　sharply　felt；　for　he　had　to　forego　the　particular　honour　and　

jewel　of　his　day　…　his　morning's　walk　with　my　father。　　And；　perhaps　

from　this　cause；　he　gradually　wearied　of　and　relaxed　the　practice；　

and　at　length　returned　entirely　to　his　ancient　habits。　　But　the　

same　decision　served　him　in　another　and　more　distressing　case　of　

divided　duty；　which　happened　not　long　after。　　He　was　not　at　all　a　

kitchen　dog；　but　the　cook　had　nursed　him　with　unusual　kindness　

during　the　distemper；　and　though　he　did　not　adore　her　as　he　adored　

my　father　…　although　（born　snob）　he　was　criti