memories and portraits-第13节

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again；　and　the　choice　of　a　point　of　view　is　easy　to　me。　　It　should　

be　at　a　certain　water…door；　embowered　in　shrubbery。　　The　river　is　

there　dammed　back　for　the　service　of　the　flour…mill　just　below；　so　

that　it　lies　deep　and　darkling；　and　the　sand　slopes　into　brown　

obscurity　with　a　glint　of　gold；　and　it　has　but　newly　been　recruited　

by　the　borrowings　of　the　snuff…mill　just　above；　and　these；　tumbling　

merrily　in；　shake　the　pool　to　its　black　heart；　fill　it　with　drowsy　

eddies；　and　set　the　curded　froth　of　many　other　mills　solemnly　

steering　to　and　fro　upon　the　surface。　　Or　so　it　was　when　I　was　

young；　for　change；　and　the　masons；　and　the　pruning…knife；　have　been　

busy；　and　if　I　could　hope　to　repeat　a　cherished　experience；　it　must　

be　on　many　and　impossible　conditions。　　I　must　choose；　as　well　as　

the　point　of　view；　a　certain　moment　in　my　growth；　so　that　the　scale　

may　be　exaggerated；　and　the　trees　on　the　steep　opposite　side　may　

seem　to　climb　to　heaven；　and　the　sand　by　the　water…door；　where　I　am　

standing；　seem　as　low　as　Styx。　　And　I　must　choose　the　season　also；　

so　that　the　valley　may　be　brimmed　like　a　cup　with　sunshine　and　the　

songs　of　birds；　…　and　the　year　of　grace；　so　that　when　I　turn　to　

leave　the　riverside　I　may　find　the　old　manse　and　its　inhabitants　

unchanged。



It　was　a　place　in　that　time　like　no　other：　the　garden　cut　into　

provinces　by　a　great　hedge　of　beech；　and　over…looked　by　the　church　

and　the　terrace　of　the　churchyard；　where　the　tombstones　were　thick；　

and　after　nightfall　〃spunkies〃　might　be　seen　to　dance　at　least　by　

children；　flower…plots　lying　warm　in　sunshine；　laurels　and　the　

great　yew　making　elsewhere　a　pleasing　horror　of　shade；　the　smell　of　

water　rising　from　all　round；　with　an　added　tang　of　paper…mills；　the　

sound　of　water　everywhere；　and　the　sound　of　mills　…　the　wheel　and　

the　dam　singing　their　alternate　strain；　the　birds　on　every　bush　and　

from　every　corner　of　the　overhanging　woods　pealing　out　their　notes　

until　the　air　throbbed　with　them；　and　in　the　midst　of　this；　the　

manse。　　I　see　it；　by　the　standard　of　my　childish　stature；　as　a　

great　and　roomy　house。　　In　truth；　it　was　not　so　large　as　I　

supposed；　nor　yet　so　convenient；　and；　standing　where　it　did；　it　is　

difficult　to　suppose　that　it　was　healthful。　　Yet　a　large　family　of　

stalwart　sons　and　tall　daughters　were　housed　and　reared；　and　came　

to　man　and　womanhood　in　that　nest　of　little　chambers；　so　that　the　

face　of　the　earth　was　peppered　with　the　children　of　the　manse；　and　

letters　with　outlandish　stamps　became　familiar　to　the　local　

postman；　and　the　walls　of　the　little　chambers　brightened　with　the　

wonders　of　the　East。　　The　dullest　could　see　this　was　a　house　that　

had　a　pair　of　hands　in　divers　foreign　places：　a　well…beloved　house　

…　its　image　fondly　dwelt　on　by　many　travellers。



Here　lived　an　ancestor　of　mine；　who　was　a　herd　of　men。　　I　read　him；　

judging　with　older　criticism　the　report　of　childish　observation；　as　

a　man　of　singular　simplicity　of　nature；　unemotional；　and　hating　the　

display　of　what　he　felt；　standing　contented　on　the　old　ways；　a　

lover　of　his　life　and　innocent　habits　to　the　end。　　We　children　

admired　him：　partly　for　his　beautiful　face　and　silver　hair；　for　

none　more　than　children　are　concerned　for　beauty　and；　above　all；　

for　beauty　in　the　old；　partly　for　the　solemn　light　in　which　we　

beheld　him　once　a　week；　the　observed　of　all　observers；　in　the　

pulpit。　　But　his　strictness　and　distance；　the　effect；　I　now　fancy；　

of　old　age；　slow　blood；　and　settled　habit；　oppressed　us　with　a　kind　

of　terror。　　When　not　abroad；　he　sat　much　alone；　writing　sermons　or　

letters　to　his　scattered　family　in　a　dark　and　cold　room　with　a　

library　of　bloodless　books　…　or　so　they　seemed　in　those　days；　

although　I　have　some　of　them　now　on　my　own　shelves　and　like　well　

enough　to　read　them；　and　these　lonely　hours　wrapped　him　in　the　

greater　gloom　for　our　imaginations。　　But　the　study　had　a　redeeming　

grace　in　many　Indian　pictures；　gaudily　coloured　and　dear　to　young　

eyes。　　I　cannot　depict　（for　I　have　no　such　passions　now）　the　greed　

with　which　I　beheld　them；　and　when　I　was　once　sent　in　to　say　a　

psalm　to　my　grandfather；　I　went；　quaking　indeed　with　fear；　but　at　

the　same　time　glowing　with　hope　that；　if　I　said　it　well；　he　might　

reward　me　with　an　Indian　picture。



〃Thy　foot　He'll　not　let　slide；　nor　will

He　slumber　that　thee　keeps；〃



it　ran：　a　strange　conglomerate　of　the　unpronounceable；　a　sad　model　

to　set　in　childhood　before　one　who　was　himself　to　be　a　versifier；　

and　a　task　in　recitation　that　really　merited　reward。　　And　I　must　

suppose　the　old　man　thought　so　too；　and　was　either　touched　or　

amused　by　the　performance；　for　he　took　me　in　his　arms　with　most　

unwonted　tenderness；　and　kissed　me；　and　gave　me　a　little　kindly　

sermon　for　my　psalm；　so　that；　for　that　day；　we　were　clerk　and　

parson。　　I　was　struck　by　this　reception　into　so　tender　a　surprise　

that　I　forgot　my　disappointment。　　And　indeed　the　hope　was　one　of　

those　that　childhood　forges　for　a　pastime；　and　with　no　design　upon　

reality。　　Nothing　was　more　unlikely　than　that　my　grandfather　should　

strip　himself　of　one　of　those　pictures；　love…gifts　and　reminders　of　

his　absent　sons；　nothing　more　unlikely　than　that　he　should　bestow　

it　upon　me。　　He　had　no　idea　of　spoiling　children；　leaving　all　that　

to　my　aunt；　he　had　fared　hard　himself；　and　blubbered　under　the　rod　

in　the　last　century；　and　his　ways　were　still　Spartan　for　the　young。　　

The　last　word　I　heard　upon　his　lips　was　in　this　Spartan　key。　　He　

had　over…walked　in　the　teeth　of　an　east　wind；　and　was　now　near　the　

end　of　his　many　days。　　He　sat　by　the　dining…room　fire；　with　his　

white　hair；　pale　face　and　bloodshot　eyes；　a　somewhat　awful　figure；　

and　my　aunt　had　given　him　a　dose　of　our　good　old　Scotch　medicine；　

Dr。　Gregory's　powder。　　Now　that　remedy；　as　the　work　of　a　near　

kinsman　of　Rob　Roy　himself；　may　have　a　savour　of　romance　for　the　

imagination；　but　it　comes　uncouthly　to　the　palate。　　The　old　

gentleman　had　taken　it　with　a　wry　face；　and　that　being　

accomplished；　sat　with　perfect　simplicity；　like　a　child's；　munching　

a　〃barley…sugar　kiss。〃　　But　when　my　aunt；　having　the　canister　open　

in　her　hands；　proposed　to　let　me　share　in　the　sweets；　he　interfered　

at　once。　　I　had　had　no　Gregory；　then　I　should　have　no　barley…sugar　

kiss：　so　he　decided　with　a　touch　of　irritation。　　And　just　then　the　

phaeton　coming　opportunely　to　the　kitchen　door　…　for　such　was　our　

unlordly　fashion　…　I　was　taken　for　the　last　time　from　the　presence　

of　my　grandfather。



Now　I　often　wonder　what　I　have　inherited　from　this　old　minister。　　I　

must　suppose；　indeed；　that　he　was　fond　of　preaching　sermons；　and　so　

am　I；　though　I　never　heard　it　maintained　that　either　of　us　loved　to　

hear　them。　　He　sought　health　in　his　youth　in　the　Isle　of　Wight；　and　

I　have　sought　it　in　both　hemispheres；　but　whereas　he　found　and　kept　

it；　I　am　still　on　the　quest。　　He　was　a　great　lover　of　Shakespeare；　

whom　he　read　aloud；　I　have　been　told；　with　taste；　well；　I　love　my　

Shakespeare　also；　and　am　persuaded　I　can　read　him　well；　though　I　

own　I　never　have　been　told　so。　　He　made　embroidery；　designing　his　

own　patterns；　and　in　that　kind　of　work　I　never　made　anything　but　a　

kettle…holder　in　Berlin　wool；　and　an　odd　garter　of　knitting；　which　

was　as　black　as　the　chimney　before　I　had　done　with　it。　　He　loved　

port；　and　nuts；　and　porter；　and　so　do　I；　but　they　agreed　better　

with　my　grandfather；　which　seems　to　me　a　breach　of　contract。　　He　

had　chalk…stones　in　his　fingers；　and　these；　in　good　time；　I　may　

possibly　inherit；　but　I　would　much　rather　have　inherited　his　noble　

presence。　　Try　as　I　please；　I　cannot　join　myself　on　with　the　

reverend　doctor；　and　all　the　while；　no　doubt；　and　even　as　I　write　

the　phrase；　he　moves　in　my　blood；　and　whispers　words　to　me；　and　

sits　efficient　in　the　very　knot　and　centre　of　my　being。　　In　his　

garden；　as　I　played　there；　I　learned　the　love　of　mills　…　or　had　I　

an　ancestor　a　miller？　…　and　a　kindness　for　the　neighbourhood　of　

graves；　as　homely　things　not　without　their　poetry　…　or　had　I　an　

ancestor　a　sexton？　　But　what　of　the　garden　where　he　played　himself？　

…　for　that；　too；　was　a　scene　of　my　education。　　Some　part　of　me　

played　there　in　the　eighteenth　century；　and　ran　races　under　the　

green　avenue　at　Pilrig；　some　part　of　me　trudged　up　Leith　Walk；　

which　was　still　a　country　place；　and　sat　on　the　High　School　

benches；　and　was　thrashed；　perhaps；　by　Dr。　Adam。　　The　house　where　I　

spent　my　youth　was　not　yet　thought　upon；　but　we　made　holiday　

parties　among　the　cornfields　on　its　site；　and　ate　strawberries　and　

cream　near　by　at　a　gardener's。　　All　this　I　had　forgotten；　only　my　

grandfather　remembered　and　once　reminded　me。　　I　have　forgotten；　

too；　how　we　grew　up；　and　took　orders；　and　went　to　our　first　

Ayrshire　parish；　and　fell　in　love　with　and　married　a　daughter　of　

Burns's　Dr。　Smith　…　〃Smith　opens　out　his　cauld　harangues。〃　　I　have