lazy tour of two idle apprentices-第15节

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for　the　accomplishment　of　this　result　threw　Thomas　Idle；　for　the

first　time　in　his　life；　into　a　perspiration。　　The　perspiration；　in

consequence　of　his　want　of　practice　in　the　management　of　that

particular　result　of　bodily　activity；　was　suddenly　checked；　the

inevitable　chill　succeeded；　and　that；　in　its　turn；　was　followed　by

a　fever。　　For　the　first　time　since　his　birth；　Mr。　Idle　found

himself　confined　to　his　bed　for　many　weeks　together；　wasted　and

worn　by　a　long　illness；　of　which　his　own　disastrous　muscular

exertion　had　been　the　sole　first　cause。



The　third　occasion　on　which　Thomas　found　reason　to　reproach　himself

bitterly　for　the　mistake　of　having　attempted　to　be　industrious；　was

connected　with　his　choice　of　a　calling　in　life。　　Having　no　interest

in　the　Church；　he　appropriately　selected　the　next　best　profession

for　a　lazy　man　in　England　…　the　Bar。　　Although　the　Benchers　of　the

Inns　of　Court　have　lately　abandoned　their　good　old　principles；　and

oblige　their　students　to　make　some　show　of　studying；　in　Mr。　Idle's

time　no　such　innovation　as　this　existed。　　Young　men　who　aspired　to

the　honourable　title　of　barrister　were；　very　properly；　not　asked　to

learn　anything　of　the　law；　but　were　merely　required　to　eat　a

certain　number　of　dinners　at　the　table　of　their　Hall；　and　to　pay　a

certain　sum　of　money；　and　were　called　to　the　Bar　as　soon　as　they

could　prove　that　they　had　sufficiently　complied　with　these

extremely　sensible　regulations。　　Never　did　Thomas　move　more

harmoniously　in　concert　with　his　elders　and　betters　than　when　he

was　qualifying　himself　for　admission　among　the　barristers　of　his

native　country。　　Never　did　he　feel　more　deeply　what　real　laziness

was　in　all　the　serene　majesty　of　its　nature；　than　on　the　memorable

day　when　he　was　called　to　the　Bar；　after　having　carefully　abstained

from　opening　his　law…books　during　his　period　of　probation；　except

to　fall　asleep　over　them。　　How　he　could　ever　again　have　become

industrious；　even　for　the　shortest　period；　after　that　great　reward

conferred　upon　his　idleness；　quite　passes　his　comprehension。　　The

kind　Benchers　did　everything　they　could　to　show　him　the　folly　of

exerting　himself。　　They　wrote　out　his　probationary　exercise　for

him；　and　never　expected　him　even　to　take　the　trouble　of　reading　it

through　when　it　was　written。　　They　invited　him；　with　seven　other

choice　spirits　as　lazy　as　himself；　to　come　and　be　called　to　the

Bar；　while　they　were　sitting　over　their　wine　and　fruit　after

dinner。　　They　put　his　oaths　of　allegiance；　and　his　dreadful

official　denunciations　of　the　Pope　and　the　Pretender；　so　gently

into　his　mouth；　that　he　hardly　knew　how　the　words　got　there。　　They

wheeled　all　their　chairs　softly　round　from　the　table；　and　sat

surveying　the　young　barristers　with　their　backs　to　their　bottles；

rather　than　stand　up；　or　adjourn　to　hear　the　exercises　read。　　And

when　Mr。　Idle　and　the　seven　unlabouring　neophytes；　ranged　in　order；

as　a　class；　with　their　backs　considerately　placed　against　a　screen；

had　begun；　in　rotation；　to　read　the　exercises　which　they　had　not

written；　even　then；　each　Bencher；　true　to　the　great　lazy　principle

of　the　whole　proceeding；　stopped　each　neophyte　before　he　had

stammered　through　his　first　line；　and　bowed　to　him；　and　told　him

politely　that　he　was　a　barrister　from　that　moment。　　This　was　all

the　ceremony。　　It　was　followed　by　a　social　supper；　and　by　the

presentation；　in　accordance　with　ancient　custom；　of　a　pound　of

sweetmeats　and　a　bottle　of　Madeira；　offered　in　the　way　of　needful

refreshment；　by　each　grateful　neophyte　to　each　beneficent　Bencher。

It　may　seem　inconceivable　that　Thomas　should　ever　have　forgotten

the　great　do…nothing　principle　instilled　by　such　a　ceremony　as

this；　but　it　is；　nevertheless；　true；　that　certain　designing

students　of　industrious　habits　found　him　out；　took　advantage　of　his

easy　humour；　persuaded　him　that　it　was　discreditable　to　be　a

barrister　and　to　know　nothing　whatever　about　the　law；　and　lured

him；　by　the　force　of　their　own　evil　example；　into　a　conveyancer's

chambers；　to　make　up　for　lost　time；　and　to　qualify　himself　for

practice　at　the　Bar。　　After　a　fortnight　of　self…delusion；　the

curtain　fell　from　his　eyes；　he　resumed　his　natural　character；　and

shut　up　his　books。　　But　the　retribution　which　had　hitherto　always

followed　his　little　casual　errors　of　industry　followed　them　still。

He　could　get　away　from　the　conveyancer's　chambers；　but　he　could　not

get　away　from　one　of　the　pupils；　who　had　taken　a　fancy　to　him；　…　a

tall；　serious；　raw…boned；　hard…working；　disputatious　pupil；　with

ideas　of　his　own　about　reforming　the　Law　of　Real　Property；　who　has

been　the　scourge　of　Mr。　Idle's　existence　ever　since　the　fatal　day

when　he　fell　into　the　mistake　of　attempting　to　study　the　law。

Before　that　time　his　friends　were　all　sociable　idlers　like　himself。

Since　that　time　the　burden　of　bearing　with　a　hard…working　young　man

has　become　part　of　his　lot　in　life。　　Go　where　he　will　now；　he　can

never　feel　certain　that　the　raw…boned　pupil　is　not　affectionately

waiting　for　him　round　a　corner；　to　tell　him　a　little　more　about　the

Law　of　Real　Property。　　Suffer　as　he　may　under　the　infliction；　he

can　never　complain；　for　he　must　always　remember；　with　unavailing

regret；　that　he　has　his　own　thoughtless　industry　to　thank　for　first

exposing　him　to　the　great　social　calamity　of　knowing　a　bore。



These　events　of　his　past　life；　with　the　significant　results　that

they　brought　about；　pass　drowsily　through　Thomas　Idle's　memory；

while　he　lies　alone　on　the　sofa　at　Allonby　and　elsewhere；　dreaming

away　the　time　which　his　fellow…apprentice　gets　through　so　actively

out　of　doors。　　Remembering　the　lesson　of　laziness　which　his　past

disasters　teach；　and　bearing　in　mind　also　the　fact　that　he　is

crippled　in　one　leg　because　he　exerted　himself　to　go　up　a　mountain；

when　he　ought　to　have　known　that　his　proper　course　of　conduct　was

to　stop　at　the　bottom　of　it；　he　holds　now；　and　will　for　the　future

firmly　continue　to　hold；　by　his　new　resolution　never　to　be

industrious　again；　on　any　pretence　whatever；　for　the　rest　of　his

life。　　The　physical　results　of　his　accident　have　been　related　in　a

previous　chapter。　　The　moral　results　now　stand　on　record；　and；　with

the　enumeration　of　these；　that　part　of　the　present　narrative　which

is　occupied　by　the　Episode　of　The　Sprained　Ankle　may　now　perhaps　be

considered；　in　all　its　aspects；　as　finished　and　complete。



'How　do　you　propose　that　we　get　through　this　present　afternoon　and

evening？'　demanded　Thomas　Idle；　after　two　or　three　hours　of　the

foregoing　reflections　at　Allonby。



Mr。　Goodchild　faltered；　looked　out　of　window；　looked　in　again；　and

said；　as　he　had　so　often　said　before；　'There　is　the　sea；　and　here

are　the　shrimps；　…　let　us　eat　'em'！'



But；　the　wise　donkey　was　at　that　moment　in　the　act　of　bolting：　　not

with　the　irresolution　of　his　previous　efforts　which　had　been

wanting　in　sustained　force　of　character；　but　with　real　vigour　of

purpose：　　shaking　the　dust　off　his　mane　and　hind…feet　at　Allonby；

and　tearing　away　from　it；　as　if　he　had　nobly　made　up　his　mind　that

he　never　would　be　taken　alive。　　At　sight　of　this　inspiring

spectacle；　which　was　visible　from　his　sofa；　Thomas　Idle　stretched

his　neck　and　dwelt　upon　it　rapturously。



'Francis　Goodchild；'　he　then　said；　turning　to　his　companion　with　a

solemn　air；　'this　is　a　delightful　little　Inn；　excellently　kept　by

the　most　comfortable　of　landladies　and　the　most　attentive　of

landlords；　but　…　the　donkey's　right！'



The　words；　'There　is　the　sea；　and　here　are　the　…　'　again　trembled

on　the　lips　of　Goodchild；　unaccompanied　however　by　any　sound。



'Let　us　instantly　pack　the　portmanteaus；'　said　Thomas　Idle；　'pay

the　bill；　and　order　a　fly　out；　with　instructions　to　the　driver　to

follow　the　donkey！'



Mr。　Goodchild；　who　had　only　wanted　encouragement　to　disclose　the

real　state　of　his　feelings；　and　who　had　been　pining　beneath　his

weary　secret；　now　burst　into　tears；　and　confessed　that　he　thought

another　day　in　the　place　would　be　the　death　of　him。



So；　the　two　idle　apprentices　followed　the　donkey　until　the　night

was　far　advanced。　　Whether　he　was　recaptured　by　the　town…council；

or　is　bolting　at　this　hour　through　the　United　Kingdom；　they　know

not。　　They　hope　he　may　be　still　bolting；　if　so；　their　best　wishes

are　with　him。



It　entered　Mr。　Idle's　head；　on　the　borders　of　Cumberland；　that

there　could　be　no　idler　place　to　stay　at；　except　by　snatches　of　a

few　minutes　each；　than　a　railway　station。　　'An　intermediate　station

on　a　line　…　a　junction　…　anything　of　that　sort；'　Thomas　suggested。

Mr。　Goodchild　approved　of　the　idea　as　eccentric；　and　they　journeyed

on　and　on；　until　they　came　to　such　a　station　where　there　was　an

Inn。



'Here；'　said　Thomas；　'we　may　be　luxuriously　lazy；　other　people　will

travel　for　us；　as　it　were；　and　we　shall　laugh　at　their　folly。'



It　was　a　Junction…Station；　where　the　wooden　razors　before　mentioned

shaved　the　air　very　often；