lazy tour of two idle apprentices-第14节

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to　be　idle　with　you。'



'Judge；　then；'　returned　Francis；　adopting　the　style　of　the　story…

book；　'with　what　success。　　I　go　to　a　region　which　is　a　bit　of

water…side　Bristol；　with　a　slice　of　Wapping；　a　seasoning　of

Wolverhampton；　and　a　garnish　of　Portsmouth；　and　I　say；　〃Will　YOU

come　and　be　idle　with　me？〃　　And　it　answers；　〃No；　for　I　am　a　great

deal　too　vaporous；　and　a　great　deal　too　rusty；　and　a　great　deal　too

muddy；　and　a　great　deal　too　dirty　altogether；　and　I　have　ships　to

load；　and　pitch　and　tar　to　boil；　and　iron　to　hammer；　and　steam　to

get　up；　and　smoke　to　make；　and　stone　to　quarry；　and　fifty　other

disagreeable　things　to　do；　and　I　can't　be　idle　with　you。〃　　Then　I

go　into　jagged　up…hill　and　down…hill　streets；　where　I　am　in　the

pastrycook's　shop　at　one　moment；　and　next　moment　in　savage

fastnesses　of　moor　and　morass；　beyond　the　confines　of　civilisation；

and　I　say　to　those　murky　and　black…dusty　streets；　〃Will　YOU　come

and　be　idle　with　me？〃　　To　which　they　reply；　〃No；　we　can't；　indeed；

for　we　haven't　the　spirits；　and　we　are　startled　by　the　echo　of　your

feet　on　the　sharp　pavement；　and　we　have　so　many　goods　in　our　shop…

windows　which　nobody　wants；　and　we　have　so　much　to　do　for　a　limited

public　which　never　comes　to　us　to　be　done　for；　that　we　are

altogether　out　of　sorts　and　can't　enjoy　ourselves　with　any　one。〃

So　I　go　to　the　Post…office；　and　knock　at　the　shutter；　and　I　say　to

the　Post…master；　〃Will　YOU　come　and　be　idle　with　me？〃　　To　which　he

rejoins；　〃No；　I　really　can't；　for　I　live；　as　you　may　see；　in　such　a

very　little　Post…office；　and　pass　my　life　behind　such　a　very　little

shutter；　that　my　hand；　when　I　put　it　out；　is　as　the　hand　of　a　giant

crammed　through　the　window　of　a　dwarf's　house　at　a　fair；　and　I　am　a

mere　Post…office　anchorite　in　a　cell　much　too　small　for　him；　and　I

can't　get　out；　and　I　can't　get　in；　and　I　have　no　space　to　be　idle

in；　even　if　I　would。〃　　So；　the　boy；'　said　Mr。　Goodchild；　concluding

the　tale；　'comes　back　with　the　letters　after　all；　and　lives　happy

never　afterwards。'



But　it　may；　not　unreasonably；　be　asked　…　while　Francis　Goodchild

was　wandering　hither　and　thither；　storing　his　mind　with　perpetual

observation　of　men　and　things；　and　sincerely　believing　himself　to

be　the　laziest　creature　in　existence　all　the　time　…　how　did　Thomas

Idle；　crippled　and　confined　to　the　house；　contrive　to　get　through

the　hours　of　the　day？



Prone　on　the　sofa；　Thomas　made　no　attempt　to　get　through　the　hours；

but　passively　allowed　the　hours　to　get　through　HIM。　　Where　other

men　in　his　situation　would　have　read　books　and　improved　their

minds；　Thomas　slept　and　rested　his　body。　　Where　other　men　would

have　pondered　anxiously　over　their　future　prospects；　Thomas　dreamed

lazily　of　his　past　life。　　The　one　solitary　thing　he　did；　which　most

other　people　would　have　done　in　his　place；　was　to　resolve　on　making

certain　alterations　and　improvements　in　his　mode　of　existence；　as

soon　as　the　effects　of　the　misfortune　that　had　overtaken　him　had

all　passed　away。　　Remembering　that　the　current　of　his　life　had

hitherto　oozed　along　in　one　smooth　stream　of　laziness；　occasionally

troubled　on　the　surface　by　a　slight　passing　ripple　of　industry；　his

present　ideas　on　the　subject　of　self…reform；　inclined　him　…　not　as

the　reader　may　be　disposed　to　imagine；　to　project　schemes　for　a　new

existence　of　enterprise　and　exertion　…　but；　on　the　contrary；　to

resolve　that　he　would　never；　if　he　could　possibly　help　it；　be

active　or　industrious　again；　throughout　the　whole　of　his　future

career。



It　is　due　to　Mr。　Idle　to　relate　that　his　mind　sauntered　towards

this　peculiar　conclusion　on　distinct　and　logically…producible

grounds。　　After　reviewing；　quite　at　his　ease；　and　with　many　needful

intervals　of　repose；　the　generally…placid　spectacle　of　his　past

existence；　he　arrived　at　the　discovery　that　all　the　great　disasters

which　had　tried　his　patience　and　equanimity　in　early　life；　had　been

caused　by　his　having　allowed　himself　to　be　deluded　into　imitating

some　pernicious　example　of　activity　and　industry　that　had　been　set

him　by　others。　　The　trials　to　which　he　here　alludes　were　three　in

number；　and　may　be　thus　reckoned　up：　　First；　the　disaster　of　being

an　unpopular　and　a　thrashed　boy　at　school；　secondly；　the　disaster

of　falling　seriously　ill；　thirdly；　the　disaster　of　becoming

acquainted　with　a　great　bore。



The　first　disaster　occurred　after　Thomas　had　been　an　idle　and　a

popular　boy　at　school；　for　some　happy　years。　　One　Christmas…time；

he　was　stimulated　by　the　evil　example　of　a　companion；　whom　he　had

always　trusted　and　liked；　to　be　untrue　to　himself；　and　to　try　for　a

prize　at　the　ensuing　half…yearly　examination。　　He　did　try；　and　he

got　a　prize　…　how；　he　did　not　distinctly　know　at　the　moment；　and

cannot　remember　now。　　No　sooner；　however；　had　the　book　…　Moral

Hints　to　the　Young　on　the　Value　of　Time　…　been　placed　in　his　hands；

than　the　first　troubles　of　his　life　began。　　The　idle　boys　deserted

him；　as　a　traitor　to　their　cause。　　The　industrious　boys　avoided

him；　as　a　dangerous　interloper；　one　of　their　number；　who　had　always

won　the　prize　on　previous　occasions；　expressing　just　resentment　at

the　invasion　of　his　privileges　by　calling　Thomas　into　the　play…

ground；　and　then　and　there　administering　to　him　the　first　sound　and

genuine　thrashing　that　he　had　ever　received　in　his　life。　　Unpopular

from　that　moment；　as　a　beaten　boy；　who　belonged　to　no　side　and　was

rejected　by　all　parties；　young　Idle　soon　lost　caste　with　his

masters；　as　he　had　previously　lost　caste　with　his　schoolfellows。

He　had　forfeited　the　comfortable　reputation　of　being　the　one　lazy

member　of　the　youthful　community　whom　it　was　quite　hopeless　to

punish。　　Never　again　did　he　hear　the　headmaster　say　reproachfully

to　an　industrious　boy　who　had　committed　a　fault；　'I　might　have

expected　this　in　Thomas　Idle；　but　it　is　inexcusable；　sir；　in　you；

who　know　better。'　　Never　more；　after　winning　that　fatal　prize；　did

he　escape　the　retributive　imposition；　or　the　avenging　birch。　　From

that　time；　the　masters　made　him　work；　and　the　boys　would　not　let

him　play。　　From　that　time　his　social　position　steadily　declined；

and　his　life　at　school　became　a　perpetual　burden　to　him。



So；　again；　with　the　second　disaster。　　While　Thomas　was　lazy；　he　was

a　model　of　health。　　His　first　attempt　at　active　exertion　and　his

first　suffering　from　severe　illness　are　connected　together　by　the

intimate　relations　of　cause　and　effect。　　Shortly　after　leaving

school；　he　accompanied　a　party　of　friends　to　a　cricket…field；　in

his　natural　and　appropriate　character　of　spectator　only。　　On　the

ground　it　was　discovered　that　the　players　fell　short　of　the

required　number；　and　facile　Thomas　was　persuaded　to　assist　in

making　up　the　complement。　　At　a　certain　appointed　time；　he　was

roused　from　peaceful　slumber　in　a　dry　ditch；　and　placed　before

three　wickets　with　a　bat　in　his　hand。　　Opposite　to　him；　behind

three　more　wickets；　stood　one　of　his　bosom　friends；　filling　the

situation　（as　he　was　informed）　of　bowler。　　No　words　can　describe

Mr。　Idle's　horror　and　amazement；　when　he　saw　this　young　man　…　on

ordinary　occasions；　the　meekest　and　mildest　of　human　beings　…

suddenly　contract　his　eye…brows；　compress　his　lips；　assume　the

aspect　of　an　infuriated　savage；　run　back　a　few　steps；　then　run

forward；　and；　without　the　slightest　previous　provocation；　hurl　a

detestably　hard　ball　with　all　his　might　straight　at　Thomas's　legs。

Stimulated　to　preternatural　activity　of　body　and　sharpness　of　eye

by　the　instinct　of　self…preservation；　Mr。　Idle　contrived；　by

jumping　deftly　aside　at　the　right　moment；　and　by　using　his　bat

（ridiculously　narrow　as　it　was　for　the　purpose）　as　a　shield；　to

preserve　his　life　and　limbs　from　the　dastardly　attack　that　had　been

made　on　both；　to　leave　the　full　force　of　the　deadly　missile　to

strike　his　wicket　instead　of　his　leg；　and　to　end　the　innings；　so

far　as　his　side　was　concerned；　by　being　immediately　bowled　out。

Grateful　for　his　escape；　he　was　about　to　return　to　the　dry　ditch；

when　he　was　peremptorily　stopped；　and　told　that　the　other　side　was

'going　in；'　and　that　he　was　expected　to　'field。'　　His　conception　of

the　whole　art　and　mystery　of　'fielding；'　may　be　summed　up　in　the

three　words　of　serious　advice　which　he　privately　administered　to

himself　on　that　trying　occasion　…　avoid　the　ball。　　Fortified　by

this　sound　and　salutary　principle；　he　took　his　own　course；

impervious　alike　to　ridicule　and　abuse。　　Whenever　the　ball　came

near　him；　he　thought　of　his　shins；　and　got　out　of　the　way

immediately。　　'Catch　it！'　　'Stop　it！'　　'Pitch　it　up！'　were　cries

that　passed　by　him　like　the　idle　wind　that　he　regarded　not。　　He

ducked　under　it；　he　jumped　over　it；　he　whisked　himself　away　from　it

on　either　side。　　Never　once；　through　the　whole　innings　did　he　and

the　ball　come　together　on　anything　approaching　to　intimate　terms。

The　unnatural　activity　of　body　which　was　necessarily　called　forth

for　the　accomplishment　of　this　res