the caged lion-第44节

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'Ay；　Sir　Patrick！　and　if　he　be　such　a　king　as　Scotland　never　had　since　St。　David；　and　maybe　not　then；　I'm　free　to　own　as　much　of　it　is　due　to　King　Harry　as　to　his　own　noble　self。Did　ye　say　they　had　streekit　him　in　the　chapel；　Lord　Malcolm？　　I'd　fain　look　on　the　bonnie　face　of　him；　I'll　ne'er　look　on　his　like　again。'

No　sooner　had　old　Bairdsbrae　gone；　than　Malcolm　flung　himself　down　before　his　cousin；　crying；　'Oh；　Patrick；　you　will　hear　me！　　I　cannot　rest　till　you　know　how　changed　I　have　been。'

'Changed！'　said　Patrick；　'ay；　and　for　the　better！　　Why；　Malcolm；　I　never　durst　hope　to　see　you　so　sturdy　and　so　heartsome。　　My　father　would　have　been　blithe　to　see　you　such　a　gallant　young　squire。　　Even　the　halt　is　gone！'

'Nearly；'　said　Malcolm。　　'But　I　would　fain　be　puny　and　puling；　to　have　the　clear　heart　that　once　I　had。　　Oh；　hear　me！　hear　me！　and　pardon　me；　Patie！'

And　Malcolm；　in　his　agitation；　poured　forth　the　whole　story　of　his　having　shifted　from　his　old　cherished　purpose　of　devoting　himself　to　the　service　of　Heaven；　and　leaving　lands　and　vassals　to　the　stronger　hands　of　Patrick　and　Lilias；　how；　having　thus　given　himself　to　the　world；　he　had　fallen　into　temptation；　how　he　had　let　himself　be　led　to　persecute　with　his　suit　a　noble　lady；　vowed　like　himself；　how　he　had　almost　agreed　to　marry　her　by　force：　　and　how　he　had　been　running　into　the　ordinary　dissipations　of　the　camp；　abstaining　from　confession；　avoiding　mass；　disobeying　orders；　plunging　into　scenes　of　plunder；　till　he　had　almost　been　the　death　of　Patrick；　whom　he　had　already　so　cruelly　wronged。

So　felt　the　boy。　　Fresh　from　that　death…bed；　the　evils　his　conscience　had　protested　against　from　the　first　appeared　to　him　frightfully　heinous；　and　his　anguish　of　self…reproach　was　such；　that　Patrick　listened　in　the　greatest　anxiety　lest　he　should　hear　of　some　deadly　stain　on　his　young　kinsman's　scutcheon；　but　when　the　tale　was　told；　and　he　had　demanded　'Is　that　all？'　and　found　that　no　further　overt　act　was　alleged　against　Malcolm；　he　breathed　a　long　sigh；　and　muttered；　'You　daft　laddie！　you　had　fairly　startled　me！　　So　this　is　the　coil；　is　it？　　Who　ever　told　you　to　put　on　a　cowl；　I　should　like　to　know？　　Why；　'twas　what　my　poor　father　ever　declared　against。　　I　take　your　lands！　　By　my　troth！　'twould　be　enough　to　make　me　break　faith　with　your　sister；　if　I　COULD！'

'The　vow　was　in　my　heart；'　faltered　Malcolm。

'In　a　fule's　head！'　said　Patrick。　　'What　right　have　babes　to　be　talking　of　vows？　　'Twould　be　the　best　tidings　I've　heard　for　many　a　long　day；　that　you　were　wedded　to　a　lass　with　a　good　tocher；　and　fit　to　guide　your　silly　pate。　　What's　that？　　Her　vows！　　If　they　are　no　better　than　yours；　the　sooner　they　are　forgot　the　better。　　If　she　had　another　love；　'twould　be　another　matter；　but　with　a　bishop　on　your　side；　you've　naught　to　fear。'

Malcolm　turned　away；　sick　at　heart。　　To　him　his　present　position　had　become　absolute　terror。　　His　own　words　had　worked　him　up　to　an　alarming　sense　of　having　lapsed　from　high　aims　to　mere　selfishness；　of　having　profaned　vows；　consented　to　violence；　and　fallen　away　from　grace；　and　he　was　in　an　almost　feverish　passion　to　utter　something　that　would　irrevocably　bind　him　to　his　former　intentions；　but　here　were　the　King　and　Patrick　both　conspiring　to　silence　him；　and　hold　him　back　to　his　fallen　and　perilous　state。　　Nay；　Patrick　even　derided　his　penitence。　　Patrick　was　an　honourable　knight；　a　religious　man；　as　times　went；　but　he　had　been　brought　up　in　a　much　rougher　and　more　unscrupulous　school　than　Malcolm；　and　had　been　hardened　by　years　of　service　as　a　soldier　of　fortune。　　The　Armagnac　camp　was　not　like　that　of　England。　　Warriors　of　such　piety　and　strictness　as　Henry　and　Bedford　had　never　come　within　his　ken；　and　that　any　man；　professing　to　be　a　soldier；　should　hesitate　at　the　license　of　war；　was　incomprehensible　to　him。　　The　discipline　of　Henry's　army　had　been　scoffed　at　in　the　French　camp；　and　every　infraction　of　it　hailed　as　a　token　of　hypocrisy；　and　to　the　stout　Scot　Malcolm's　grief　for　the　rapine　at　Meaux；　which　after　all　he　had　not　committed；　seemed　a　simple　absurdity。　　Even　his　own　danger；　on　the　second　occasion；　did　not　make　him　alter　his　opinion；　it　was　all　the　fortune　of　war。　　And　he　was　not　sure　that　he　had　not　best　have　been　stifled　at　once；　since　his　hands　were　tied　from　warfare。　　And　as　for　Lilyhow　was　he　to　win　her　now？　　Then；　as　Malcolm　opened　his　mouth；　Patrick　sharply　charged　him　to　hold　his　tongue　as　to　that　folly；　unless　he　wanted　to　drive　him　to　make　a　vow　on　his　side；　that　he　would　turn　Knight　of　Rhodes；　and　never　wed。

Malcolm；　wearied　out　with　excitement；　came　at　last　to　weeping　that　no　one　would　hear　or　understand　him；　but　the　scene　was　ended　by　Bairdsbrae；　who；　returning；　brought　a　leech　with　him；　who　at　once　took　the　command　of　Patrick；　and　ordered　him　to　his　bed。

Malcolm　could　not　rest。　　He　was　feverish　with　the　shock　of　grief　and　awe；　and　absorbed　in　the　thought　which　had　mastered　him；　and　which　was　much　dwelt　on　in　the　middle　ages：　the　monastic　path；　going　towards　heaven　straight　as　a　sunbeam；　the　secular；　twining　its　way　through　a　tortuous　difficult　coursethe　'broad　way；'　tending　downward　to　the　abyss。　　To　his　terrified　apprehension；　he　had　abandoned　the　direct　and　narrow　path　for　the　fatal　road；　and　there　might　at　any　moment　be　captured；　and　whirled　away　by　the　grisly　phantom　Death；　who　had　just　snatched　the　mightiest　in　his　inevitable　clutch；　and　with　something　of　the　timidity　of　his　nature；　he　was　in　absolute　terror；　until　he　should　be　able　to　set　himself　back　on　the　shining　road　from　which　he　had　swerved；　and　be　rid　of　the　load　of　transgression　which　seemed　ready　to　sink　him　into　the　gulf。

Those　few　and　perfunctory　confessions　to　a　courtly　priest　who　knew　nothing　about　him；　and　was　sure　not　to　be　hard　on　a　king's　cousin；　now　seemed　to　add　to　his　guilt：　　and；　wandering　down…stairs　towards　the　chapel；　he　met　a　train　of　ecclesiastics　slowly　leaving　it；　having　just　been　relieved　by　a　bevy　of　monks　from　a　neighbouring　convent；　who　took　up　the　chants　where　they　had　left　them。

Looking　up　at　them；　he　recognized　Dr。　Bennet's　bent　head；　and　throwing　himself　before　him　on　his　knee；　he　gasped；　'O　father；　father！　hear　me！　　Take　me　back！　　Give　me　hope！'

'What　means　this；　my　young　lord？'　said　Dr。　Bennet；　pausing；　while　his　brethren　passed　on。　　'Are　you　sick？'　he　added；　kindly；　seeing　the　whiteness　of　Malcolm's　face；　and　his　startled　eye。

'Oh；　no；　no！　only　sick　at　heart　at　my　own　madness；　and　the　doom　on　it！　　O　Sir；　hear　me！　　Take　my　vow　again！　give　me　absolution　once　more　to　a　true　shrift。　　Oh；　if　you　will　hear　me；　it　shall　be　honest　this　time！　　Only　put　me　in　the　way　again。'

The　chaplain　was　sorely　sad　and　weary。　　He　it　was　whose　ministrations　had　chiefly　comforted　the　dying　King。　　To　him　it　had　been　the　loss　of　a　deeply…loved　son　and　pupil；　as　well　as　of　almost　unbounded　hopes　for　the　welfare　of　the　Church；　and　he　had　had　likewise；　in　the　freshness　of　his　sorrow；　to　take　the　lead　in　the　ecclesiastical　ceremonies　that　ensued；　so　that　both　in　body　and　mind　he　was　well…　nigh　worn　out；　and　longed　for　peace　in　which　to　face　his　own　private　sorrow；　but　the　wild　words　and　anguished　looks　of　the　young　Scot　showed　him　that　his　case　was　one　for　immediate　hearing；　and　he　drew　the　lad　into　the　confessional；　authoritatively　calmed　his　agitation；　and　prepared　to　hear　the　outpouring　of　the　boy's　self…reproach。

He　heard　it　allsifting　facts　from　fancies；　and　learning　the　early　purpose；　the　terror　at　the　cruel　world；　the　longing　for　peace　and　shelter；　the　desire　to　smooth　his　sister's　way；　which　had　led　him　to　devote　himself　in　heart　to　the　cloister；　though　never　permitted　openly　to　pledge　himself。　　Then　the　discovery　that　the　world　was　less　thorny　than　he　had　expected；　the　allurement　of　royal　favour　and　greatness；　the　charm　of　amusement；　and　activity　in　recovered　health；　the　cowardly　dread　of　scorn；　leading　him　not　merely　into　the　secular　life；　but　into　the　gradual　dropping　of　piety　and　devotion；　the　actual　share　he　had　taken　in　forbidden　diversions；　his　attempts　at　plunder；　his　ill…will　to　King　Henry；　and；　above　all；　his　persecution　of　Esclairmonde；　which　he　now　regarded　as　sacrilegious；　and　he　even　told　how　he　lay　under　a　half　engagement　to　Countess　Jaqueline　to　return　alone　to　the　Court；　and　bear　his　part　in　the　forcible　marriage　she　projected。

He　told　all；　with　no　extenuation；　nay；　rather　with　such　outbursts　of　opprobrium　on　himself；　that　Dr。　Bennet　could　hardly　understand　of　what　positive　evils　he　had　been　guilty；　and　he　ended　by　entreating　that　the　almoner　would　at　once　hear　his　vow　to　become　a　Benedictine　monk；　ere　…

But　Dr。　Bennet　would　not　listen。　　He　silenced　the　boy　by　saying　he　had　no　more　right　to　hear　it　than　Malcolm　as　yet　to　make　it。　　Nay；　that　inner　dedication；　for　which　Malcolm　yearned　as　a　sacred　bond　to　his　own　will；　the　priest　forbade。　　It　was　no　moment　to　make　such　a　promise　in　his　present　mood；　when　he　did　not　know　himself。　　If　broken；　he　would　only　be　adding　sin　to　sin；　nor　was　Malcolm；　with　all　his　errors　fresh　upon　him；　in　any　state　to　dedicate　himself　worthily。　The　errorswhich　in　Ralf　Percy；　or　in　most　other　youths；　might　have　seemed　slightwere　heavy　stains　on　one　who；　like　Malcolm；　had　er