lizzie leigh-第8节
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earnest; unfearing gaze。
〃Your sister was near the house。 She came in on hearing my words to
the doctor。 She is asleep now; and your mother is watching her。 I
wanted to tell you all myself。 Would you like to see your mother?〃
〃No!〃 said he。 〃I would rather see none but thee。 Mother told me
thou knew'st all。〃 His eyes were downcast in their shame。
But the holy and pure did not lower or veil her eyes。
She said; 〃Yes; I know allall but her sufferings。 Think what they
must have been!〃
He made answer; low and stern; 〃She deserved them all; every jot。〃
〃In the eye of God; perhaps she does。 He is the Judge; we are not。〃
〃Oh!〃 she said; with a sudden burst; 〃Will Leigh! I have thought so
well of you; don't go and make me think you cruel and hard。 Goodness
is not goodness unless there is mercy and tenderness with it。 There
is your mother; who has been nearly heart…broken; now full of
rejoicing over her child。 Think of your mother。〃
〃I do think of her;〃 said he。 〃I remember the promise I gave her
last night。 Thou shouldst give me time。 I would do right in time。
I never think it o'er in quiet。 But I will do what is right and
fitting; never fear。 Thou hast spoken out very plain to me; and
misdoubted me; Susan; I love thee so; that thy words cut me。 If I
did hang back a bit from making sudden promises; it was because not
even for love of thee; would I say what I was not feeling; and at
first I could not feel all at once as thou wouldst have me。 But I'm
not cruel and hard; for if I had been; I should na' have grieved as I
have done。〃
He made as if he were going away; and indeed he did feel he would
rather think it over in quiet。 But Susan; grieved at her incautious
words; which had all the appearance of harshness; went a step or two
nearerpausedand then; all over blushes; said in a low; soft
whisper …
〃Oh; Will! I beg your pardon。 I am very sorry。 Won't you forgive
me?〃
She who had always drawn back; and been so reserved; said this in the
very softest manner; with eyes now uplifted beseechingly; now dropped
to the ground。 Her sweet confusion told more than words could do;
and Will turned back; all joyous in his certainty of being beloved;
and took her in his arms; and kissed her。
〃My own Susan!〃 he said。
Meanwhile the mother watched her child in the room above。
It was late in the afternoon before she awoke; for the sleeping
draught had been very powerful。 The instant she awoke; her eyes were
fixed on her mother's face with a gaze as unflinching as if she were
fascinated。 Mrs。 Leigh did not turn away; nor move; for it seemed as
if motion would unlock the stony command over herself which; while so
perfectly still; she was enabled to preserve。 But by…and…by Lizzie
cried out; in a piercing voice of agony …
〃Mother; don't look at me! I have been so wicked!〃 and instantly she
hid her face; and grovelled among the bed…clothes; and lay like one
dead; so motionless was she。
Mrs。 Leigh knelt down by the bed; and spoke in the most soothing
tones。
〃Lizzie; dear; don't speak so。 I'm thy mother; darling; don't be
afeard of me。 I never left off loving thee; Lizzie。 I was always a…
thinking of thee。 Thy father forgave thee afore he died。〃 (There
was a little start here; but no sound was heard。) 〃Lizzie; lass;
I'll do aught for thee; I'll live for thee; only don't be afeard of
me。 Whate'er thou art or hast been; we'll ne'er speak on't。 We'll
leave th' oud times behind us; and go back to the Upclose Farm。 I
but left it to find thee; my lass; and God has led me to thee。
Blessed be His name。 And God is good; too; Lizzie。 Thou hast not
forgot thy Bible; I'll be bound; for thou wert always a scholar。 I'm
no reader; but I learnt off them texts to comfort me a bit; and I've
said them many a time a day to myself。 Lizzie; lass; don't hide thy
head so; it's thy mother as is speaking to thee。 Thy little child
clung to me only yesterday; and if it's gone to be an angel; it will
speak to God for thee。 Nay; don't sob a that 'as; thou shalt have it
again in heaven; I know thou'lt strive to get there; for thy little
Nancy's sakeand listen! I'll tell thee God's promises to them that
are penitentonly doan't be afeard。〃
Mrs。 Leigh folded her hands; and strove to speak very clearly; while
she repeated every tender and merciful text she could remember。 She
could tell from the breathing that her daughter was listening; but
she was so dizzy and sick herself when she had ended; that she could
not go on speaking。 It was all she could do to keep from crying
aloud。
At last she heard her daughter's voice。
〃Where have they taken her to?〃 she asked。
〃She is downstairs。 So quiet; and peaceful; and happy she looks。〃
〃Could she speak! Oh; if Godif I might but have heard her little
voice! Mother; I used to dream of it。 May I see her once again?
Oh; mother; if I strive very hard and God is very merciful; and I go
to heaven; I shall not know herI shall not know my own again: she
will shun me as a stranger; and chug to Susan Palmer and to you。 Oh;
woe! Oh; woe!〃 She shook with exceeding sorrow。
In her earnestness of speech she had uncovered her face; and tried to
read Mrs。 Leigh's thoughts through her looks。 And when she saw those
aged eyes brimming full of tears; and marked the quivering lips; she
threw her arms round the faithful mother's neck; and wept there; as
she had done in many a childish sorrow; but with a deeper; a more
wretched grief。
Her mother hushed her on her breast; and lulled her as if she were a
baby; and she grew still and quiet。
They sat thus for a long; long time。 At last; Susan Palmer came up
with some tea and bread and butter for Mrs。 Leigh。 She watched the
mother feed her sick; unwilling child; with every fond inducement to
eat which she could devise; they neither of them took notice of
Susan's presence。 That night they lay in each other's arms; but
Susan slept on the ground beside them。
They took the little corpse (the little unconscious sacrifice; whose
early calling…home had reclaimed her poor wandering mother) to the
hills; which in her life…time she had never seen。 They dared not lay
her by the stern grandfather in Milne Row churchyard; but they bore
her to a lone moorland graveyard; where; long ago; the Quakers used
to bury their dead。 They laid her there on the sunny slope; where
the earliest spring flowers blow。
Will and Susan live at the Upclose Farm。 Mrs。 Leigh and Lizzie dwell
in a cottage so secluded that; until you drop into the very hollow
where it is placed; you do not see it。 Tom is a schoolmaster in
Rochdale; and he and Will help to support their mother。 I only know
that; if the cottage be hidden in a green hollow of the hills; every
sound of sorrow in the whole upland is heard thereevery call of
suffering or of sickness for help is listened to by a sad; gentle…
looking woman; who rarely smiles (and when she does her smile is more
sad than other people's tears); but who comes out of her seclusion
whenever there is a shadow in any household。 Many hearts bless
Lizzie Leigh; but sheshe prays always and ever for forgiveness
such forgiveness as may enable her to see her child once more。 Mrs。
Leigh is quiet and happy。 Lizzie is; to her eyes; something
preciousas the lost piece of silverfound once more。 Susan is the
bright one who brings sunshine to all。 Children grow around her and
call her blessed。 One is called Nanny; her Lizzie often takes to the
sunny graveyard in the uplands; and while the little creature gathers
the daisies; and makes chains; Lizzie sits by a little grave and
weeps bitterly。
End