lizzie leigh-第7节
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with the fierce impetuosity of one who has none to love her; and to
be beloved; regard to whom might teach self…restraint。
〃Hush!〃 said Susan; her finger on her lips。 〃Here is the doctor。
God may suffer her to live。〃
The poor mother turned sharp round。 The doctor mounted the stair。
Ah! that mother was right; the little child was really dead and gone。
And when he confirmed her judgment; the mother fell down in a fit。
Susan; with her deep grief; had to forget herself; and forget her
darling (her charge for years); and question the doctor what she must
do with the poor wretch; who lay on the floor in such extreme of
misery。
〃She is the mother!〃 said she。
〃Why did she not take better care of her child?〃 asked he; almost
angrily。
But Susan only said; 〃The little child slept with me; and it was I
that left her。〃
〃I will go back and make up a composing draught; and while I am away
you must get her to bed。〃
Susan took out some of her own clothes; and softly undressed the
stiff; powerless form。 There was no other bed in the house but the
one in which her father slept。 So she tenderly lifted the body of
her darling; and was going to take it downstairs; but the mother
opened her eyes; and seeing what she was about; she said〃I am not
worthy to touch her; I am so wicked。 I have spoken to you as I never
should have spoken; but I think you are very good。 May I have my own
child to lie in my arms for a little while?〃
Her voice was so strange a contrast to what it had been before she
had gone into the fit; that Susan hardly recognised it: it was now
so unspeakably soft; so irresistibly pleading; the features too had
lost their fierce expression; and were almost as placid as death。
Susan could not speak; but she carried the little child; and laid it
in its mother's arms; then; as she looked at them; something
overpowered her; and she knelt down; crying aloud〃Oh; my God; my
God; have mercy on her; and forgive and comfort her。〃
But the mother kept smiling; and stroking the little face; murmuring
soft; tender words; as if it were alive。 She was going mad; Susan
thought; but she prayed on; and on; and ever still she prayed with
streaming eyes。
The doctor came with the draught。 The mother took it; with docile
unconsciousness of its nature as medicine。 The doctor sat by her;
and soon she fell asleep。 Then he rose softly; and beckoning Susan
to the door; he spoke to her there。
〃You must take the corpse out of her arms。 She will not awake。 That
draught will make her sleep for many hours。 I will call before noon
again。 It is now daylight。 Good…by。〃
Susan shut him out; and then; gently extricating the dead child from
its mother's arms; she could not resist making her own quiet moan
over her darling。 She tried to learn off its little placid face;
dumb and pale before her。
Not all the scalding tears of care
Shall wash away that vision fair;
Not all the thousand thoughts that rise;
Not all the sights that dim her eyes;
Shall e'er usurp the place
Of that little angel…face。
And then she remembered what remained to be done。 She saw that all
was right in the house; her father was still dead asleep on the
settle; in spite of all the noise of the night。 She went out through
the quiet streets; deserted still; although it was broad daylight;
and to where the Leighs lived。 Mrs。 Leigh; who kept her country
hours; was opening her window…shutters。 Susan took her by the arm;
and; without speaking; went into the house…place。 There she knelt
down before the astonished Mrs。 Leigh; and cried as she had never
done before; but the miserable night had overpowered her; and she who
had gone through so much calmly; now that the pressure seemed removed
could not find the power to speak。
〃My poor dear! What has made thy heart so sore as to come and cry a…
this…ons? Speak and tell me。 Nay; cry on; poor wench; if thou canst
not speak yet。 It will ease the heart; and then thou canst tell me。〃
〃Nanny is dead!〃 said Susan。 〃I left her to go to father; and she
fell downstairs; and never breathed again。 Oh; that's my sorrow!
But I've more to tell。 Her mother is comeis in our house! Come
and see if it's your Lizzie。〃
Mrs。 Leigh could not speak; but; trembling; put on her things and
went with Susan in dizzy haste back to Crown Street。
CHAPTER IV。
As they entered the house in Crown Street; they perceived that the
door would not open freely on its hinges; and Susan instinctively
looked behind to see the cause of the obstruction。 She immediately
recognised the appearance of a little parcel; wrapped in a scrap of
newspaper; and evidently containing money。 She stooped and picked it
up。 〃Look!〃 said she; sorrowfully; 〃the mother was bringing this for
her child last night。〃
But Mrs。 Leigh did not answer。 So near to the ascertaining if it
were her lost child or no; she could not be arrested; but pressed
onwards with trembling steps and a beating; fluttering heart。 She
entered the bedroom; dark and still。 She took no heed of the little
corpse over which Susan paused; but she went straight to the bed;
and; withdrawing the curtain; saw Lizzie; but not the former Lizzie;
bright; gay; buoyant; and undimmed。 This Lizzie was old before her
time; her beauty was gone; deep lines of care; and; alas! of want (or
thus the mother imagined) were printed on the cheek; so round; and
fair; and smooth; when last she gladdened her mother's eyes。 Even in
her sleep she bore the look of woe and despair which was the
prevalent expression of her face by day; even in her sleep she had
forgotten how to smile。 But all these marks of the sin and sorrow
she had passed through only made her mother love her the more。 She
stood looking at her with greedy eyes; which seemed as though no
gazing could satisfy their longing; and at last she stooped down and
kissed the pale; worn hand that lay outside the bedclothes。 No touch
disturbed the sleeper; the mother need not have laid the hand so
gently down upon the counterpane。 There was no sign of life; save
only now and then a deep sob…like sigh。 Mrs。 Leigh sat down beside
the bed; and still holding back the curtain; looked on and on; as if
she could never be satisfied。
Susan would fain have stayed by her darling one; but she had many
calls upon her time and thoughts; and her will had now; as ever; to
be given up to that of others。 All seemed to devolve the burden of
their cares on her。 Her father; ill…humoured from his last night's
intemperance; did not scruple to reproach her with being the cause of
little Nanny's death; and when; after bearing his upbraiding meekly
for some time; she could no longer restrain herself; but began to
cry; he wounded her even more by his injudicious attempts at comfort;
for he said it was as well the child was dead; it was none of theirs;
and why should they be troubled with it? Susan wrung her hands at
this; and came and stood before her father; and implored him to
forbear。 Then she had to take all requisite steps for the coroner's
inquest; she had to arrange for the dismissal of her school; she had
to summons a little neighbour; and send his willing feet on a message
to William Leigh; who; she felt; ought to be informed of his mother's
whereabouts; and of the whole state of affairs。 She asked her
messenger to tell him to come and speak to her; that his mother was
at her house。 She was thankful that her father sauntered out to have
a gossip at the nearest coach…stand; and to relate as many of the
night's adventures as he knew; for as yet he was in ignorance of the
watcher and the watched; who silently passed away the hours upstairs。
At dinner…time Will came。 He looked red; glad; impatient; excited。
Susan stood calm and white before him; her soft; loving eyes gazing
straight into his。
〃Will;〃 said she; in a low; quiet voice; 〃your sister is upstairs。〃
〃My sister!〃 said he; as if affrighted at the idea; and losing his
glad look in one of gloom。 Susan saw it; and her heart sank a
little; but she went on as calm to all appearance as ever。
〃She was little Nanny's mother; as perhaps you know。 Poor little
Nanny was killed last night by a fall downstairs。〃 All the calmness
was gone; all the suppressed feeling was displayed in spite of every
effort。 She sat down; and hid her face from him; and cried bitterly。
He forgot everything but the wish; the longing to comfort her。 He
put his arm round her waist; and bent over her。 But all he could
say; was; 〃Oh; Susan; how can I comfort you? Don't take on sopray
don't!〃 He never changed the words; but the tone varied every time
he spoke。 At last she seemed to regain her power over herself; and
she wiped her eyes; and once more looked upon him with her own quiet;
earnest; unfearing gaze。
〃Your sister was near the house。 Sh