lizzie leigh-第6节
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this case; for who could look at Susan without loving her? So still
he did not ask any questions; and his poor mother had to take
courage; and try again to introduce the subject near to her heart。
But how?
〃Will!〃 said she (jerking it out in sudden despair of her own powers
to lead to what she wanted to say); 〃I telled her all。〃
〃Mother! you've ruined me;〃 said he; standing up; and standing
opposite to her with a stern white look of affright on his face。
〃No! my own dear lad; dunnot look so scared; I have not ruined you!〃
she exclaimed; placing her two hands on his shoulders; and looking
fondly into his face。 〃She's not one to harden her heart against a
mother's sorrow。 My own lad; she's too good for that。 She's not one
to judge and scorn the sinner。 She's too deep read in her New
Testament for that。 Take courage; Will; and thou mayst; for I
watched her well; though it is not for one woman to let out another's
secret。 Sit thee down; lad; for thou look'st very white。〃
He sat down。 His mother drew a stool towards him; and sat at his
feet。
〃Did you tell her about Lizzie; then?〃 asked he; hoarse and low。
〃I did; I telled her all! and she fell a…crying over my deep sorrow;
and the poor wench's sin。 And then a light comed into her face;
trembling and quivering with some new glad thought; and what dost
thou think it was; Will; lad? Nay; I'll not misdoubt but that thy
heart will give thanks as mine did; afore God and His angels; for her
great goodness。 That little Nanny is not her niece; she's our
Lizzie's own child; my little grandchild。〃 She could no longer
restrain her tears; and they fell hot and fast; but still she looked
into his face。
〃Did she know it was Lizzie's child? I do not comprehend;〃 said he;
flushing red。
〃She knows now: she did not at first; but took the little helpless
creature in; out of her own pitiful; loving heart; guessing only that
it was the child of shame; and she's worked for it; and kept it; and
tended it ever sin' it were a mere baby; and loves it fondly。 Will!
won't you love it?〃 asked she; beseechingly。
He was silent for an instant; then he said; 〃Mother; I'll try。 Give
me time; for all these things startle me。 To think of Susan having
to do with such a child!〃
〃Ay; Will! and to think; as may be; yet of Susan having to do with
the child's mother! For she is tender and pitiful; and speaks
hopefully of my lost one; and will try and find her for me; when she
comes; as she does sometimes; to thrust money under the door; for her
baby。 Think of that; Will。 Here's Susan; good and pure as the
angels in heaven; yet; like them; full of hope and mercy; and one
who; like them; will rejoice over her as repents。 Will; my lad; I'm
not afeard of you now; and I must speak; and you must listen。 I am
your mother; and I dare to command you; because I know I am in the
right; and that God is on my side。 If He should lead the poor
wandering lassie to Susan's door; and she comes back; crying and
sorryful; led by that good angel to us once more; thou shalt never
say a casting…up word to her about her sin; but be tender and helpful
towards one 'who was lost and is found;' so may God's blessing rest
on thee; and so mayst thou lead Susan home as thy wife。〃
She stood no longer as the meek; imploring; gentle mother; but firm
and dignified; as if the interpreter of God's will。 Her manner was
so unusual and solemn; that it overcame all Will's pride and
stubbornness。 He rose softly while she was speaking; and bent his
head; as if in reverence at her words; and the solemn injunction
which they conveyed。 When she had spoken; he said; in so subdued a
voice that she was almost surprised at the sound; 〃Mother; I will。〃
〃I may be dead and gone; but; all the same; thou wilt take home the
wandering sinner; and heal up her sorrows; and lead her to her
Father's house。 My lad! I can speak no more; I'm turned very
faint。〃
He placed her in a chair; he ran for water。 She opened her eyes; and
smiled。
〃God bless you; Will。 Oh! I am so happy。 It seems as if she were
found; my heart is so filled with gladness。〃
That night Mr。 Palmer stayed out late and long。 Susan was afraid
that he was at his old haunts and habitsgetting tipsy at some
public…house; and this thought oppressed her; even though she had so
much to make her happy in the consciousness that Will loved her。 She
sat up long; and then she went to bed; leaving all arranged as well
as she could for her father's return。 She looked at the little rosy;
sleeping girl who was her bed…fellow; with redoubled tenderness; and
with many a prayerful thought。 The little arms entwined her neck as
she lay down; for Nanny was a light sleeper; and was conscious that
she; who was loved with all the power of that sweet; childish heart;
was near her; and by her; although she was too sleepy to utter any of
her half…formed words。
And; by…and…by; she heard her father come home; stumbling uncertain;
trying first the windows; and next the door fastenings; with many a
loud incoherent murmur。 The little innocent twined around her seemed
all the sweeter and more lovely; when she thought sadly of her erring
father。 And presently he called aloud for a light。 She had left
matches and all arranged as usual on the dresser; but; fearful of
some accident from fire; in his unusually intoxicated state; she now
got up softly; and putting on a cloak; went down to his assistance。
Alas! the little arms that were unclosed from her soft neck belonged
to a light; easily awakened sleeper。 Nanny missed her darling Susy;
and terrified at being left alone; in the vast mysterious darkness;
which had no bounds and seemed infinite; she slipped out of bed; and
tottered; in her little nightgown; towards the door。 There was a
light below; and there was Susy and safety! So she went onwards two
steps towards the steep; abrupt stairs; and then; dazzled by
sleepiness; she stood; she wavered; she fell! Down on her head on
the stone floor she fell! Susan flew to her; and spoke all soft;
entreating; loving words; but her white lids covered up the blue
violets of eyes; and there was no murmur came out of the pale lips。
The warm tears that rained down did not awaken her; she lay stiff;
and weary with her short life; on Susan's knee。 Susan went sick with
terror。 She carried her upstairs; and laid her tenderly in bed; she
dressed herself most hastily; with her trembling fingers。 Her father
was asleep on the settle downstairs; and useless; and worse than
useless; if awake。 But Susan flew out of the door; and down the
quiet resounding street; towards the nearest doctor's house。 Quickly
she went; but as quickly a shadow followed; as if impelled by some
sudden terror。 Susan rang wildly at the night…bellthe shadow
crouched near。 The doctor looked out from an upstairs window。
〃A little child has fallen downstairs; at No。 9 Crown Street; and is
very illdying; I'm afraid。 Please; for God's sake; sir; come
directly。 No。 9 Crown Street。〃
〃I'll be there directly;〃 said he; and shut the window。
〃For that God you have just spoken aboutfor His saketell me; are
you Susan Palmer? Is it my child that lies a…dying?〃 said the
shadow; springing forwards; and clutching poor Susan's arm。
〃It is a little child of two years old。 I do not know whose it is; I
love it as my own。 Come with me; whoever you are; come with me。〃
The two sped along the silent streetsas silent as the night were
they。 They entered the house; Susan snatched up the light; and
carried it upstairs。 The other followed。
She stood with wild; glaring eyes by the bedside; never looking at
Susan; but hungrily gazing at the little; white; still child。 She
stooped down; and put her hand tight on her own heart; as if to still
its beating; and bent her ear to the pale lips。 Whatever the result
was; she did not speak; but threw off the bed…clothes wherewith Susan
had tenderly covered up the little creature; and felt its left side。
Then she threw up her arms; with a cry of wild despair。
〃She is dead! she is dead!〃
She looked so fierce; so mad; so haggard; that; for an instant; Susan
was terrified; the next; the holy God had put courage into her heart;
and her pure arms were round that guilty; wretched creature; and her
tears were falling fast and warm upon her breast。 But she was thrown
off with violence。
〃You killed heryou slighted heryou let her fall down those
stairs! you killed her!〃
Susan cleared off the thick mist before her; and; gazing at the
mother with her clear; sweet angel eyes; said; mournfully〃I would
have laid down my own life for her。〃
〃Oh; the murder is on my soul!〃 exclaimed the wild; bereaved mother;
with the fierce impetuosity of one who has none to love her; and to
be beloved; regard to whom might teach self…restraint。
〃H