erewhon revisited-第3节

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read　his　few　opening　chapters；　but　I　had　found；　as　a　boy　naturally
would；　that　the　succeeding　pages　were　a　little　dull；　and　soon　put
the　book　aside。　　My　father；　indeed；　repeatedly　urged　me　not　to　read
it；　for　he　said　there　was　much　in　itmore　especially　in　the
earlier　chapters；　which　I　had　alone　found　interestingthat　he
would　gladly　cancel　if　he　could。　　〃But　there！〃　he　had　said　with　a
laugh；　〃what　does　it　matter？〃

He　had　hardly　left；　before　I　read　his　book　from　end　to　end；　and；　on
having　done　so；　not　only　appreciated　the　risks　that　he　would　have
to　run；　but　was　struck　with　the　wide　difference　between　his
character　as　he　had　himself　portrayed　it；　and　the　estimate　I　had
formed　of　it　from　personal　knowledge。　　When；　on　his　return；　he
detailed　to　me　his　adventures；　the　account　he　gave　of　what　he　had
said　and　done　corresponded　with　my　own　ideas　concerning　him；　but　I
doubt　not　the　reader　will　see　that　the　twenty　years　between　his
first　and　second　visit　had　modified　him　even　more　than　so　long　an
interval　might　be　expected　to　do。

I　heard　from　him　repeatedly　during　the　first　two　months　of　his
absence；　and　was　surprised　to　find　that　he　had　stayed　for　a　week　or
ten　days　at　more　than　one　place　of　call　on　his　outward　journey。　　On
November　26　he　wrote　from　the　port　whence　he　was　to　start　for
Erewhon；　seemingly　in　good　health　and　spirits；　and　on　December　27；
1891；　he　telegraphed　for　a　hundred　pounds　to　be　wired　out　to　him　at
this　same　port。　　This　puzzled　both　Mr。　Cathie　and　myself；　for　the
interval　between　November　26　and　December　27　seemed　too　short　to
admit　of　his　having　paid　his　visit　to　Erewhon　and　returned；　as；
moreover；　he　had　added　the　words；　〃Coming　home；〃　we　rather　hoped
that　he　had　abandoned　his　intention　of　going　there。

We　were　also　surprised　at　his　wanting　so　much　money；　for　he　had
taken　a　hundred　pounds　in　gold；　which　from　some　fancy；　he　had
stowed　in　a　small　silver　jewel…box　that　he　had　given　my　mother　not
long　before　she　died。　　He　had　also　taken　a　hundred　pounds　worth　of
gold　nuggets；　which　he　had　intended　to　sell　in　Erewhon　so　as　to
provide　himself　with　money　when　he　got　there。

I　should　explain　that　these　nuggets　would　be　worth　in　Erewhon　fully
ten　times　as　much　as　they　would　in　Europe；　owing　to　the　great
scarcity　of　gold　in　that　country。　　The　Erewhonian　coinage　is
entirely　silverwhich　is　abundant；　and　worth　much　what　it　is　in
Englandor　copper；　which　is　also　plentiful；　but　what　we　should
call　five　pounds'　worth　of　silver　money　would　not　buy　more　than　one
of　our　half…sovereigns　in　gold。

He　had　put　his　nuggets　into　ten　brown　holland　bags；　and　he　had　had
secret　pockets　made　for　the　old　Erewhonian　dress　which　he　had　worn
when　he　escaped；　so　that　he　need　never　have　more　than　one　bag　of
nuggets　accessible　at　a　time。　　He　was　not　likely；　therefore；　to
have　been　robbed。　　His　passage　to　the　port　above　referred　to　had
been　paid　before　he　started；　and　it　seemed　impossible　that　a　man　of
his　very　inexpensive　habits　should　have　spent　two　hundred　pounds　in
a　single　monthfor　the　nuggets　would　be　immediately　convertible　in
an　English　colony。　　There　was　nothing；　however；　to　be　done　but　to
cable　out　the　money　and　wait　my　father's　arrival。

Returning　for　a　moment　to　my　father's　old　Erewhonian　dress；　I
should　say　that　he　had　preserved　it　simply　as　a　memento　and　without
any　idea　that　he　should　again　want　it。　　It　was　not　the　court　dress
that　had　been　provided　for　him　on　the　occasion　of　his　visit　to　the
king　and　queen；　but　the　everyday　clothing　that　he　had　been　ordered
to　wear　when　he　was　put　in　prison；　though　his　English　coat；
waistcoat；　and　trousers　had　been　allowed　to　remain　in　his　own
possession。　　These；　I　had　seen　from　his　book；　had　been　presented　by
him　to　the　queen　（with　the　exception　of　two　buttons；　which　he　had
given　to　Yram　as　a　keepsake）；　and　had　been　preserved　by　her
displayed　upon　a　wooden　dummy。　　The　dress　in　which　he　escaped　had
been　soiled　during　the　hours　that　he　and　my　mother　had　been　in　the
sea；　and　had　also　suffered　from　neglect　during　the　years　of　his
poverty；　but　he　wished　to　pass　himself　off　as　a　common　peasant　or
working…man；　so　he　preferred　to　have　it　set　in　order　as　might　best
be　done；　rather　than　copied。

So　cautious　was　he　in　the　matter　of　dress　that　he　took　with　him　the
boots　he　had　worn　on　leaving　Erewhon；　lest　the　foreign　make　of　his
English　boots　should　arouse　suspicion。　　They　were　nearly　new；　and
when　he　had　had　them　softened　and　well　greased；　he　found　he　could
still　wear　them　quite　comfortably。

But　to　return。　　He　reached　home　late　at　night　one　day　at　the
beginning　of　February；　and　a　glance　was　enough　to　show　that　he　was
an　altered　man。　　〃What　is　the　matter？〃　said　I；　shocked　at　his
appearance。　　〃Did　you　go　to　Erewhon；　and　were　you　ill…treated
there？〃

〃I　went　to　Erewhon；〃　he　said；　〃and　I　was　not　ill…treated　there；　but
I　have　been　so　shaken　that　I　fear　I　shall　quite　lose　my　reason。　　Do
not　ask　me　more　now。　　I　will　tell　you　about　it　all　to…morrow。　　Let
me　have　something　to　eat；　and　go　to　bed。〃

When　we　met　at　breakfast　next　morning；　he　greeted　me　with　all　his
usual　warmth　of　affection；　but　he　was　still　taciturn。　　〃I　will
begin　to　tell　you　about　it；〃　he　said；　〃after　breakfast。　　Where　is
your　dear　mother？　　How　was　it　that　I　have　。　。　。　〃

Then　of　a　sudden　his　memory　returned；　and　he　burst　into　tears。

I　now　saw；　to　my　horror；　that　his　mind　was　gone。　　When　he
recovered；　he　said：　　〃It　has　all　come　back　again；　but　at　times　now
I　am　a　blank；　and　every　week　am　more　and　more　so。　　I　daresay　I
shall　be　sensible　now　for　several　hours。　　We　will　go　into　the　study
after　breakfast；　and　I　will　talk　to　you　as　long　as　I　can　do　so。〃

Let　the　reader　spare　me；　and　let　me　spare　the　reader　any
description　of　what　we　both　of　us　felt。

When　we　were　in　the　study；　my　father　said；　〃My　dearest　boy；　get　pen
and　paper　and　take　notes　of　what　I　tell　you。　　It　will　be　all
disjointed；　one　day　I　shall　remember　this；　and　another　that；　but
there　will　not　be　many　more　days　on　which　I　shall　remember　anything
at　all。　　I　cannot　write　a　coherent　page。　　You；　when　I　am　gone；　can
piece　what　I　tell　you　together；　and　tell　it　as　I　should　have　told
it　if　I　had　been　still　sound。　　But　do　not　publish　it　yet；　it　might
do　harm　to　those　dear　good　people。　　Take　the　notes　now；　and　arrange
them　the　sooner　the　better；　for　you　may　want　to　ask　me　questions；
and　I　shall　not　be　here　much　longer。　　Let　publishing　wait　till　you
are　confident　that　publication　can　do　no　harm；　and　above　all；　say
nothing　to　betray　the　whereabouts　of　Erewhon；　beyond　admitting
（which　I　fear　I　have　already　done）　that　it　is　in　the　Southern
hemisphere。〃

These　instructions　I　have　religiously　obeyed。　　For　the　first　days
after　his　return；　my　father　had　few　attacks　of　loss　of　memory；　and
I　was　in　hopes　that　his　former　health　of　mind　would　return　when　he
found　himself　in　his　old　surroundings。　　During　these　days　he　poured
forth　the　story　of　his　adventures　so　fast；　that　if　I　had　not　had　a
fancy　for　acquiring　shorthand；　I　should　not　have　been　able　to　keep
pace　with　him。　　I　repeatedly　urged　him　not　to　overtax　his　strength；
but　he　was　oppressed　by　the　fear　that　if　he　did　not　speak　at　once；
he　might　never　be　able　to　tell　me　all　he　had　to　say；　I　had；
therefore；　to　submit；　though　seeing　plainly　enough　that　he　was　only
hastening　the　complete　paralysis　which　he　so　greatly　feared。

Sometimes　his　narrative　would　be　coherent　for　pages　together；　and
he　could　answer　any　questions　without　hesitation；　at　others；　he　was
now　here　and　now　there；　and　if　I　tried　to　keep　him　to　the　order　of
events　he　would　say　that　he　had　forgotten　intermediate　incidents；
but　that　they　would　probably　come　back　to　him；　and　I　should　perhaps
be　able　to　put　them　in　their　proper　places。

After　about　ten　days　he　seemed　satisfied　that　I　had　got　all　the
facts；　and　that　with　the　help　of　the　pamphlets　which　he　had　brought
with　him　I　should　be　able　to　make　out　a　connected　story。
〃Remember；〃　he　said；　〃that　I　thought　I　was　quite　well　so　long　as　I
was　in　Erewhon；　and　do　not　let　me　appear　as　anything　else。〃

When　he　had　fully　delivered　himself；　he　seemed　easier　in　his　mind；
but　before　a　month　had　passed　he　became　completely　paralysed；　and
though　he　lingered　till　the　beginning　of　June；　he　was　seldom　more
than　dimly　conscious　of　what　was　going　on　around　him。

His　death　robbed　me　of　one　who　had　been　a　very　kind　and　upright
elder　brother　rather　than　a　father；　and　so　strongly　have　I　felt　his
influence　still　present；　living　and　working；　as　I　believe　for
better　within　me；　that　I　did　not　hesitate　to　copy　the　epitaph　which
he　saw　in　the　Musical　Bank　at　Fairmead；　｛1｝　and　to　have　it
inscribed　on　the　very　simple　monument　which　he　desired　should　alone
mark　his　grave。

*　*　*

The　foregoing　was　written　in　the　summer　of　1891；　what　I　now　add
should　be　dated　December　3；　1900。　　If；　in　the　course　of　my　work；　I
have　misrepresented　my　father；　as　I　fear　I　may　have　sometimes　done；
I　would　ask　my　readers　to　remember　that　no　man　can　tell　another's
story　without　some　involuntary　misrepresentation　both　of　facts　and
characters。　　They　will；　of　course；　see　that　〃Erewhon　Revisited〃　is
written　by　one　who　has　far　less　literary　skill　than　the　autho