a face illumined-第63节

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！



and　weakly；　saying　in　a　low　tone：



〃Mr。　Van　Berg；　I　suppose　I　have　now　reached　the　lowest　depth　in

your　estimation；　but　I　cannot　help　it。　　I　admit　that　I　was　in　an

awful　and　desperate　mood；　and　was　about　to　act　accordingly。　　There

is　no　use　of　trying　to　hid　anything　from　you。　　But　a　good　man　spoke

kindly　to　me　to…night；　and　the　black　spell　is　broken。　　There　is

the　drug　I　purchased；〃　and　she　handed　him　the　phial　of　laudanum。

〃You　many　now　dismiss　all　fears。　　I　will　explain　further　another

time　if　you　care　to　hear。　　Please　let　me　go　in　by　myself。〃



〃Pardon　me　for　saying；　no；〃　he　answered；　gently。　　〃I　think　I　am

best　able　to…night　to　judge　of　what　is　right。　　You　must　go　in　at

the　main　entrance；　and　on　my　arm。　　Henceforward　I　shall　treat　you

with　respect；　and　I　intend　that　all　others　shall　also。〃



With　a　low　sob；　she　said；　impulsively：　　〃Oh；　Mr。　Van　Berg；　forgive

me！　　but　that　was　my　motive。　　I　meant　to　compel　your　respect；　and

I　thought　there　was　no　other　way。　　I　thought　that　if　I　went　to　my

grave；　instead　of　going　to　the　man　who　attempted　your　life；　you

would　see　that　you　had　misjudged　me。　　Here　is　a　letter　which　I　wrote

you。　　It　should　go　with　the　poison。　　It　is　all　that　I　can　offer　in

excuse　or　extenuation。〃



〃Good　God！〃　he　exclaimed。　　〃I　have　escaped　a　worse　fate　than　yours

would　have　been；〃　and　she　felt　his　arm　again　trembling　violently

beneath　her　hand。



〃I　did　not　think　you　would　care　so　greatly；〃　she　murmured。



〃Miss　Mayhew；〃　he　said；　in　a　deep　voice；　〃promise　me；　before　God；

that　you　will　never　harbor　such　a　thought　again。〃



〃I　hope　I　never　may；〃　she　replied；　despondently；　〃but　I've　lost

all　confidence　in　myself；　Mr。　Van　Berg。〃



〃Poor　child！　　What　a　brute　I've　been；〃　he　muttered；　but　she　heard

him。



As　the　mounted　the　piazza；　they　met　Stanton　and　Mrs。　Mayhew。



〃Why；　Ida；〃　exclaimed　her　mother；　〃I　thought　you　were　in　your　room。〃



〃I　walked　to　the　village　with　a　party　of　young　people；〃　was　her

hasty　reply；　〃and　Mr。　Van　Berg　met　me　on　our　return。　　I'm　very

tired。　　Good…night；〃　and　she　went　directly　to　her　room。



The　artist's　manner　in　parting　was　polite　and　respectful；　and　by

this　simple　act；　he　did　much　to　reinstate　her　in　the　social　position

she　had　well　nigh　lost；　through　her　supposed　infatuation　with　the

man　who　was　now　a　synonym　in　the　house　for　everything　that　was

vile。



On　the　following　day；　through　the　aid　of　Miss　Burton；　he　caused

the　impression　to　be　generally　given　that　Miss　Mayhew　had　been

exceedingly　mortified　that　she　had　ever　associated　with　such　a

villain　as　Sibley　had　shown　himself　to　be；　and　still　more　pained

to　think　that　she　should　be　imagined　capable　of　any　other　feeling

save　contempt　for　him；　after　learning　of　his　disgraceful　words　and

actions。　　These　explanations　gave　an　entirely　new　aspect　to　the

matter；　and　sufficiently　accounted　for　her　increasing　indisposition

and　rather　odd　behavior。　　Indeed；　people　placed　it　to　her　credit

that　she　was　so　deeply　affected；　and　were　all　the　more　inclined　to

make　amends　for　having　misjudged　her。



Mrs。　Mayhew　accompanied　her　daughter　to　her　room；　but　Ida　told　her

that　she　was　too　weary　to　answer　a　single　question；　and　that　she

wished　to　be　alone。



〃Van；　may　I　speak　with　you？〃　Stanton　had　asked；　anxiously。



When　they　were　sufficiently　far　from　the　house　to　ensure　privacy

he　began　again：　　〃Van；　what's　the　matter？　　You　were　as　white　as　if

you　had　seen　a　ghost。〃



〃I'm　not　afraid　of　ghosts；〃　said　the　artist；　almost　sternly；　〃but

there　are　things　which　I　mortally　fear；　and　chief　among　these　are

blundersstupid；　irrational　acts；　but　involving　results　that　may

be　beyond　remedy。　　You　and　I　have　just　made　one　that　might　have

cost　us　dear。　　Of　course　you　will　treat　your　cousin　hereafter　as

you　please；　but　I　most　decidedly　request　that　you　do　and　say　nothing

that　involves　any　reference　to　me。　　I　wish　her　to　form　her　opinions

of　my　attitude　towards　her　solely　from　her　own　observation。〃



〃I　think　you　are　a　trifle　severe；　but　I　suppose　I　deserve　it；〃　said

Stanton；　stiffly。



〃I　admit　that　I　am　strongly　moved。　　I　do　not　excuse　myself　in　the

least；　and　yet　you　know　I　was　misled。　　I　must　tell　you　plainly　that

Ida　Mayhew　is　not　a　girl　to　be　trifled　with。　　I　fear　her　mother

wholly　fails　in　understanding　her；　and　from　what　you　yourself　have

told　me　of　her　father；　she　has　no　help　there。　　She　has　no　brother；

and　you　should　take　the　place　of　one；　as　far　as　possible。　　The

only　right　I　have　to　speak　thus　is　on　the　ground　of　the　great　wrong

I　have　done　her；　and　for　which　I　can　never　forgive　myself。　　Miss

Mayhew　and　I　are　comparative　strangers　and　our　brief　summer　sojourn

here　will　soon　be　over。　　By　mere　accident　facts　have　come　to　my

knowledge　to…night　which　prove　in　the　most　emphatic　manner；　that

she　requires　kind；　unobtrusive；　but　vigilant　care。　　I　never　knew

of　a　girl　who　needed　a　brother　more　than　she。　　She　is　not　bad　at

heartfar　from　it；　but　she　is　fearfully　rash；　and　she　is　warped

by　education；　or　its　lack；　and　by　the　vile　literature　she　has　read；

to　such　a　degree　that　she　cannot　see　things　in　their　true　moral

aspects。　　I'll　give　you　a　plain　hint；　and　then　you　must　not　ask　me

anything　further；　for　both　you　and　I　must　be　able　to　say　that　the

history　of　my　last　interview　was　never　given。　　My　hint　is　thisI

do　not　believe　that　self…destruction　ever　appeared　to　Miss　Mayhew

as　an　awful　and　revolting　crime。　　Her　actual　life；　hitherto；　has

been　a　round　of　frivolity。　　Only　on　the　stage　or　in　the　absurd　woes

of　her　stilted　heroes　and　heroines；　has　she　given　any　attention　to

the　sad　and　serious　side　of　life。　　Men　and　women　committing　suicide

to　slow　music　is　the　chief　stock　in　trade　in　some　quarters；　and

when　serious　trouble　came　to　her　this　devil's　comedy　had　been　robbed

of　its　horror　by　the　clap…trap　of　stage　effect。　　That　is　the　only

way　in　which　I　can　account　for　it　all　or　excuse　her。　　But　the　fact

that　she　recoiled　from　Sibley　so　strongly　and　felt　the　disgrace

of　her　association　so　keenly；　proves　that　she　possesses　a　true

woman's　nature。　　But；　as　I　said；　she　needs　a　brother's　care。　　You

are　nearest　of　kin；　Stanton；　and　you　must　give　it。　　Indeed；　Ik；

pardon　the　freedom　of　an　old　friend　whom　circumstances　have　strangely

mixed　up　in　this　affair；　I　think　you　are　honor…bound　to　give　this

brother's　protection；　and　you　ARE　a　man　of　honor　if　you　pass　your

word。〃



〃Do　youdo　you　think　there　is　still　any　danger　that　she　will…〃



〃No；　the　danger　is　passed　for　this　occasion；　but　you　must　guard

her　from　deep　despondency　or　strong　provocation　in　the　future。〃



〃The　task　you　require　is　a　difficult　one。　　I　doubt　whether　she　ever

forgives　me　even。〃



〃I　think　she　will。　　I　have　also　learned　to…night　that　genuine

kindness　and　sympathy　have　great　weight　with　her。　　Pledge　me　your

word　that　you　will　do　the　best　you　can。〃



〃Well；　Van；　I　suppose　I　oughtI　will。　　But　your　words　have　quite

unnerved　me。〃



〃Unnerved！　I'm　worse　than　that。　　I　feel　as　if　I　had　passed　through

a　month's　illness。　　Never　breathe　a　whisper　of　all　this　to　any　one。

Good…night。〃　　And　he　strode　away　in　the　darkness。



Having　reached　a　secluded　spot；　he　ground　the　phial　of　laudanum

that　Ida　had　given　him　under　his　heel　with　the　vindictiveness　with

which　he　would　stamp　out　the　life　of　a　poisonous　reptile。



Then　he　returned　to　his　room　and　took　out　Ida's　letter；　but　his

hands　trembled　so　that　he　could　scarcely　open　it。　　As　he　read；　they

trembled　still　more；　and　his　face　became　almost　ashen　in　its　hue。

He　was　so　appalled　at　what　might　have　happened　that　his　heart　seemed

for　a　second　to　cease　its　pulsations。



〃Great　God！〃　he　said；　in　a　hoarse　whisper〃what　an　escape　I've

had！〃



Hour　after　hour　passed；　but　he　sat　motionless；　staring　at　the　abyss

into　which　he　had　almost　stumbled。



The　song　of　a　bird　without　reminded　him　that　morning　was　near。　　He

drew　the　curtain　and　saw　that　the　dawn　was　reddening　the　sky。



〃Thank　God；〃　he　cried；　fervently；　〃for　the　escape　we　both　have

had！〃



Then；　in　order　to　throw　off　the　horrible　nightmare　that　had　oppressed

him；　he　stole　quietly　out　into　the　fresh；　cool；　dewy　air。











Chapter　XL。　　Van　Berg's　Conclusions。







Van　Berg　knew　that　the　word　〃discouragement〃　was　in　the　dictionary；

and　he　supposed　he　understood　its　meaning；　but　Ida　Mayhew's　farewell

letter　proved　to　him　that　he　was　mistaken。　　There　are　some　things

we　never　learn　until　taught　by　the　severe　logic　of　events　and

experience。　　There　had　been　nothing　in　his　own　history　or　character

that　enabled　him　to　realize　the　dreary　sinking　of　heartthe

paralyzing　despondency　of　those　who　believe　or　fear　that　they　have

been　defeated　and　thwarted　in　life。　　Through　the　weaknesses　and

dangers　of　early　life　he　had　been　shielded　with　loving　vigilance。

His　mind　and　taste　had　been　fostered　with　untiring　care；　and　yet

every　new　development　praised　as　unstin