a face illumined-第51节
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friendship。 The prospect of never winning her himself did not rob
life of its zest and color。 On the contrary; he believed that she
would ever be an inspiration; an exquisite ideal realized in actual
life。 As such he could not lose her any more than those women whom
poetry; fiction; and history had placed as stars in his firmament;
and this belief so contented him as to awaken surprise。
As he returned from a long and solitary stroll on Monday evening
he soliloquized complacently; 〃I am making too great a mystery of
it all。 She is not an ordinary woman。 Why should I feel towards
her the ordinary and conventional love which any woman might evoke?
There is more of spirit than of flesh and blood in her exquisite
organization。 Sorrow has refined away every gross and selfish
element; and left a saint towards whom devotion is far more seemly
and natural than passion。 She awakens in me a regard corresponding
to her own nature; and I thank heaven that I am at least finely
enough organized to understand her and so can seek to win her in
accordance with the subtle laws of her being。 She would shrink
inevitably from a downright; headlong passion like that of Stanton's;
no matter how honest it might be or how good the man expressing
it。 No hand; however strong; will ever grasp this 'rara avis;'
this good angel; rather。 Her wings must be pinioned by gossamer
threads of patient kindness; delicate sympathy; nice appreciation;
and all woven and wound so unobtrusively that the shy spirit may
not be startled。 What a fool I was to blurt out my feelings last
evening! What rare good fortune is mine in the fact that she
gives me the vantage…ground of friendship from which to urge a suit
wherein must be combined sincerity with consummate skill。 I fear
I must efface some other image before I can implant my own。 How
fortunate I am that my cool and well…poised nature will enable me
to work under the guidance of judgment rather than impulse。〃
Feeling that he had much to gain and was in danger of irretrievable
loss; he lightly mounted the steps of the hotel; bent on finding
at once the object of his thoughts。
He saw her leaving a group in the parlor; of which Stanton was one;
and he hastened to intercept her in the hall…way。 Just as he was
about to speak to her; Mr。 Burleigh came bustling up and said:
〃Miss Burton; a strangernot to fame or fortune; nor to you
probably; but a stranger to meis inquiring for youa stranger
from the South。 He would not give his name; andgood heaven; Miss
Burton! are you ill?〃
Van Berg led her into a private parlor near。 She certainly had
grown very white and faint。 But after a moment there came a flash
of hope and eager expectation into her face that no words could
have expressed。
〃His namehis name?〃 she gasped。
Mr。 Burleigh looked at her a second; and then said: 〃Stay quietly
here; I'll bring him to you; and then; Mr。 Van Berg; perhaps you
and I might form an enormous crowd。〃
〃Had I not better leave you at once?〃 the artist asked when they
were alone。
〃Wait a moment。 IIam very weak。 It cannot bebut hope dies
hard。〃
Trembling like a leaf; and with eyes aflame with intense; eager
hope; she watched the door。
A moment later Mr。 Burleigh ushered in a middle…aged gentleman;
who commenced saying:
〃Pardon me; Miss Burton; for not sending my name; but you would
not have known it〃then the young lady's appearance checked him。
The effect of his coming was indeed striking。 It was as if a gust
of wind had suddenly extinguished a lamp。 The luminous eyes closed
for a moment; and the face became so pallid and ashen in its hue as
to suggest death。 It was evident to Van Berg that her disappointment
was more bitter than death。
〃Miss Burton took a long walk this afternoon;〃 he said; hastily;
〃and; I fear; went much beyond her strength。 Perhaps she had better
see you to…morrow。〃
〃Oh; certainly; certainly; I will remain; if there is need;〃 the
gentleman began。
By a strong and evident effort Miss Burton regained self…control;
and said; with a faint smile that played over her face a moment
like a gleam of wintry sunshine:
〃You strong men often call women weak; and we; too often; prove you
right。 As Mr。 Van Berg suggests; I am a little overtaxed to…night。
Perhaps I had better see you in the morning。〃
〃I am a transient guest; and ought to be on my way with the first
train;〃 said the gentleman。 〃My errand is as brief as it is
grateful to me。 Do not leave; sir;〃 he said to Van Berg。 〃If you
are a friend of Miss Burton it will be pleasant for you to hear
what I have to say; and; I warrant you that she will never tell
you nor anyone else herself。〃
〃May I stay?〃 he asked。
She felt so weak and unnerved; so in need of a sustaining hand and
mind that she looked at him appealingly; and said:
〃Yes。 This gentleman cannot disgrace me more than I have myself
this evening。〃
〃Disgrace you! Miss Burton;〃 exclaimed the gentleman。 〃Your name
is a household word in our home; and our honor for it is only
excelled by our love。 You remember my invalid daughter; Emily
Musgraveour only and unfortunate child。 She attended the college
in which you are an instructress。 Before she came under your
influence her infirmities were crushing her spirit and embittering
her life。 So morbid was she becoming that she apparently began to
hate her mother and myself as the authors of her wretched existence。
But by some divine magic you sweetened the bitter waters of her
life; and now she is a fountain of joy in our home。 In her behalf
and her mother's; I thank you; and even more; if possible; in my own
behalf; for the reproachful; averted face of my child was killing
me;〃 and tears stood in the strong man's eyes。
There was nothing conventional in the way in which Jeannie Burton
received his warm gratitude。 She leaned wearily back in her chair;
and for a moment closed her eyes。 There was far more resignation
than of pleasure in her face; and she had the air of one submitting
to a fate which one could not and ought not to resist。
〃Your three lives are much happier then?〃 she said; gently; as if
wishing to hear the reassuring truth again。
〃You do not realize your service to us;〃 said Mr。 Musgrave; eagerly。
〃Our lives were not happy at all。 There seemed nothing before us
but increasing pain。 You have not added to a happiness already
existing merely; but have caused us to exchange positive suffering
for happiness。 Emily seems to have learned the art of making every
day of our lives a blessing; and she says you taught her how。 I
would go around the world to say to you; 'God bless you for it!'〃
〃Such assurances ought to make one resigned; if not content;〃
she murmured in a low tone; as if half speaking to herself。 Then
rising; by an evident effort; she cordially gave her hand to Mr。
Musgrave; and said:
〃You see; sir; that I am scarcely myself to…night。 I think I could
give you a better impression of your daughter's friend to…morrow。
Give her my sincere love and congratulations。 She is evidently
bearing her burden better than I mine。 You cannot know how much
good your words have done me to…night。 I needed them; and they
will help me for years to come。〃
The gentleman's eyes grew moist again; and he said; huskily:
〃I know you are rather alone in the world; but if it should ever
happen that there is anything that I could do for you were I your
father; call on John Musgrave。 There; I cannot trust myself to
speak to you any more; though I have so much to say。 Good…night;
and good…by;〃 and he made a very precipitate retreat; thoroughly
overcome by his warm Southern heart。
〃I dread to leave you looking so sad and ill; or else I would say
good…night also;〃 said Van Berg。
She started as if she had half forgotten his presence; and kept
her face averted as she replied:
〃I will say good…night to you; Mr。 Van Berg。 I would prove poor
company this evening。〃
〃Before you go I wish to thank you for letting me stay;〃 he said;
hastily。 〃As Mr。 Musgrave asserted; you would indeed never have
told me what I have heard; and yet I would not have missed hearing
it for more than you will believe。 How many lives have you blessed;
Jennie Burton?〃
〃Not very many; I fear; but I half wish I knew。 Each one would be
like an argument。〃
〃Arguments that should prove that you ought to let the dead past
bury its dead; and live in the richer present;〃 he said; earnestly。
〃The richer present!〃 she repeated slowly; and her face grew almost
stern in its reproach。
〃Forgive mein the present you so enrich; then;〃 he said; eagerly。
Again she averted her face; and he saw that for some reason she
wished to avoid his eyes。
〃I am too weak and unnerved to do more than say good…night again;〃
she said; trying to sm