a face illumined-第38节
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He looked at her with sudden suspicion。 〃Do you mean what you
say？〃
〃I do。〃
〃Why do you wish my society？〃
She hesitated。
His face darkened still more； for he remembered what he was； and
how little this young and lovely girl had in common with him。
〃Answer me truly；〃 he insisted； 〃why should you wish my society？
I've not a particle of vanity。 I know what I am； and you undoubtedly
know also。 If you wish to advise me and preach at me； let me
tell you plainly but courteously that your efforts； however； well
intentioned； would be in vain； and not altogether welcome。 I can
conceive of no other reason why you should wish for my society。〃
Her face became very pale； but she looked him full in his eyes as
she replied：
〃I do not wish to preach or advise at all。 Can you not understand
that one may ease one's own pain by trying to relieve the suffering
of another？ Now you see how selfish I am。〃
His face softened instantly； and he said：
〃Miss Burton； that is too divine a philosophy for me to grasp at
once。 As the world goes now； I think you are founding a school
of your own。 You will find me an eager listener； if not an apt
scholar； whenever you will honor me with your company。〃 And smiling
his thanks he rose and left the table。
This conversation had been carried on in tones too low and quiet
to be heard by others in the crowded and noisy dining…room。 Van
Berg； who sat opposite； had taken pains not to follow it and to
appear oblivious； and yet he could not refrain from observing its
general drift and scope in Mr。 Mayhew's manner； and his eyes glowed
with admiration for her winning tact and kindness。 The glance he
bent upon her was perhaps more ardent and approving than he was
aware； for she； looking up from the abstraction which the recent
conversation had occasioned； seemed strangely affected by it； for
she trembled and her face blanched with a sudden pallor； while her
eyes were riveted to his face。
〃You are not well； Miss Burton；〃 said Stanton hastily； but in a
low tone。 〃Let me get you some wine。〃
She started perceptibly； and then a sudden crimson suffused her
face as she became conscious that other eyes were upon her。
In almost a second she recovered herself fully； and replied； with
a smile：
〃No； I think you； Mr。 Stanton。 A cup of tea is a panacea for all
a woman's troubles； and you see I have it here。 I did not feel
well for a moment； but am better now。〃
The eyes of Stanton and Ida met。 Both had seen this little
episode； and each drew from it conclusions that were anything but
inspiriting。 But Van Berg was thoroughly puzzled。 While as he felt
hen he would have gladly drawn encouragement from it； and perhaps
did so to some extent； he still felt there was something peculiar
in her manner； of which he seemed the occasion； but was not the
adequate cause。
Miss Burton soon after sought her room； and for a few moments paced
it in deep disquiet； and her whole form seemed to become tense and
rigid。 In low tones she communed with herself：
〃Is my will so weak？ Shall I continue betraying myself at any
unexpected moment？ Shall I show to strangers something that I
would hide from all eyes save those of God？ Let me realize it at
once； and so maintain self…control henceforth。 This is an illusiona
mere trick of my overwrought mind； and yet it seemed so like…〃
A passion of grief interrupted further words。 Such bitter；
uncontrollable sorrow in one so young was terrible。 She writhed
and struggled with this anguish for a time as helplessly as if she
were in the grasp of a giant。
At last she grew calm。 There were no tears in her eyes。 She
was beyond such simple and natural expression of sorrow。 She had
ready tears for the troubles of others； but now her eyes were dry
and feverish。
〃O God；〃 she gasped； 〃teach me patience！ Keep me submissive。 Let
me still say； 'Thy will be done。' And yet the time is drawing near
whenoh； hush！ hush！ Let me not think of it…
〃There； there； be still；〃 she said more quietly with her hand upon
her side。 〃Hundreds of other hearts besides your own are aching。
Forget yourself in relieving them。〃
She bathed her face； put some brighter flowers in her hair； and
went down among the other guests； seemingly the very embodiment
of sunshine。 All eyes save those of Ida Mayhew welcomed her； the
children gathered round her； Stanton and Van Berg were both eager
for her society in the dance； or better still； for a promenade； but
she saw Mr。 Mayhew looking wistfully at her； and she went straight
to him。
With unerring tact she found out the subjects that were interesting
to him； and reviving his faith in his own intelligence； led his
mind through sunny； breezy ranges of thought that made the time he
spent with her like an escape from the narrow walls and stifling
air and gloom of a prison。
Chapter XXIV。 A Hateful； Wretched Life。
The advent of half a score of young men from the city naturally
made dancing the order of the occasion on Saturday evening。 Mr。
Burleigh； however； gave Sibley a hint that the features he had
introduced the previous week must be omitted tonight； since nothing
that would in the slightest degree lower the character of his
house would be tolerated。 The excitement therefore that Sibley had
formerly received from Cognac； he now sought to obtain by pursuing
with greater ardor his flirtation with Ida。 Indeed； to such a
nature as his； her beauty was quite as intoxicating as the 〃spirit
of wine。〃 There was a brilliancy in her appearance to night and
a piquancy in her words that struck him as very unusual。
Nor was he alone in his admiration。 The young men from the
city thronged about her； and her hand was soon engaged for every
dance until late in the evening； but on this occasion she had no
opportunity； as before； of declining invitations from Van Berg。
The solicitations of others went for little； the admiring eyes
that she saw following her on every side could not compensate for
the lack of all attention from him。 He danced several times； but
it was with those who seemed to be neglected by others。 In his
quiet； dignified bearing； in his unselfish affability toward those
who otherwise would have had a dull evening； he appeared to her in
most favorable contrast to the giddy young fellows who fluttered
around her； and whose supreme thoughts were always of themselves；
and of her only as she could minister to their pleasure。
〃Miss Burton has so plainly won him；〃 she thought； 〃that he has
adopted her tactics of looking after those whom every one neglects。
I could soon show him the one he has the greatest power of cheering；
and I know that she has the deepest need of cheer of any one in
this crowded house； but I'd rather die than give one hint of our
first meeting he has humiliated me； and I in return love him！ But
he shall never know it。 My looks can be as cold as his。〃
And so they were toward him； but for all others she had had the
gayest smiles and repartee。 Vividly conscious of the secret she
would so jealously guard； she sought by every means in her power
to mask it from him and all others。 She would even permit her name
for a time to be associated with a man she detested and despised；
since thus the truth could be more effectively concealed。
Sibley's attentions were certainly ardent enough to attract attention；
and occasionally there was a boldness in his compliments； which
she； even in her reckless mood； sharply resented。 His eyes seemed
to grow more wolfish every time she encountered them； and more than
once the thought crossed her mind：
〃What a heaven it would be to look up into the eyes of a man I
could trust； and who honored me。〃
What torture it was to see such a man present； and yet to feel that
he justly scorned her。
Excitement and her strong will kept her up for a long time； but as
the evening advanced despondency and weariness began to gain the
mastery。 Sibley came to her and said： 〃Miss Ida； I have your hand
for the next waltz； but I see you are worn and tired。 Let us go
out on the cool piazza instead of dancing。〃
Listlessly she took his arm and passed through one of the open
windows near。 Van Berg had disappeared some time before； and there
was no longer any motive to keep up the illusion of gayety。
Hardly had she stepped on the piazza before she heard her father
say：
〃Miss Burton； if it will give you any pleasure to know that you have
made this evening memorably bright to one whose life is peculiarly
clouded； you can certainly enjoy that assurance in the fullest
measure。 You have kept your word and have not preached at me at
all； and yet I feel I ought to be a better man for this interview。〃
〃O； Miss Ida；〃 exclaimed Sibley； 〃this is the opportunity that I
have been wishing f
