a face illumined-第34节
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Until this evening his heart had remained sluggish。 Sweet and
potent as her voice had been; it had not penetrated to the 〃holy
of holies〃 within his soul。 But had not her low sad tones echoed
there to…night in the half involuntary confidence she had given
him?
In his deep sympathy; in the answering feeling evoked by her strong
but repressed emotion; he thought his heart had been stirred to
its depths; and that henceforth its chief desire would be to banish
the sorrowful memories typified to her mind by the black clouds
above him。 Had his face revealed this impulse of his heart before
he had been fully conscious of it himself? Was it an unwelcome
discovery; that she so hastily fled from it? Or had she been only
startledher maidenly reserve shrinking from the first fore…shadowing
of the supreme request that she should unveil the mysteries of her
life to one who but now had been a stranger? He did not know。 He
felt he scarcely understood her or himself; but he was conscious
of a hope that both might meet their happy fate in each other。
He leaned thus for a time absorbed in thought against a pillar where
she had left him; then sauntered with bowed head and preoccupied
manner to the main entrance; down the steps and out into the darkness。
He did not even notice that he passed Ida Mayhew; where she stood
among a group of gay chattering young people。 Still less did he
know that she had been furtively watching his interview with Miss
Burton; and that when he passed her without a glance her face was
as pale as had been that of the object of his thoughts。 But he
had not strolled very far down a gravelled path before she compelled
him to distinguish her reckless laugh and tones above all the
others。
With an impatient gesture he muttered; 〃God made them both; I
suppose; and so there's another mystery。〃
As Van Berg's interest in Miss Burton had deepened; it had naturally
flagged toward the one whose marvelously fair features had first
caught his attention and now promised to be links in a chain
of causes that might produce effects little anticipated。 He had
virtually abandoned the project of seeking to ennoble and harmonize
these features that suggested new possibilities of beauty to almost
every glance; for the reason that he not only believed there was
no mind to be awakened; but also because he had been led to think
the girl so depraved and selfish at heart that the very thought of
a larger; purer life was repugnant to her。 He believed she disliked
and even detested him; not so much on personal grounds as because
he represented to her mind a class of ideas and a self…restraint
that were hateful。 Circumstances had associated her in his mind
with Sibley; who thus cast a baleful shadow athwart even her beauty
and made it repulsive。 Indeed the mocking perfection of her features
irritated him; and he began to make a conscious and persistent effort
not to look toward her。 He now regarded his hope to illumine her
face from within; by delicate touches of mind; thought; and motive;
as vain as an attempt to carve the Venus of Milo out of mottled
pumice…stone。 Still he did not regret to…night the freak of fancy
that had brought him to the Lake House; since it had led to his
meeting a woman who was to him a new and beautiful revelation of
the rarest excellence and grace。
But there was no such compensating outlook for poor Ida。 To her;
his coming promised daily to result in increasing wretchedness。
From the miserable Sunday night on which she had sobbed herself
to sleep; the consciousness had continually grown clearer that she
could never find in her old mode of life any satisfying pleasure。
She had caught a glimpse of something so much better; that her
former world looked as tawdry as the mimic scenery of a second…rate
theatre。 A genuine man; such as she had not seen or at least not
recognized before; had stepped out before the gilt and tinsel; and
the miserable shams were seen in contrast in their rightful character。
But; in bringing the revelation; it happened he had so deeply
wounded her pride; that she had assured herself; again and again;
she would hate his very name as long as she lived。 Did she hate him
as she saw him absorbed in conversation with Miss Burton whenever
he could obtain the opportunity? Did she hate him as she saw that
his eyes consciously avoided her and rested approvingly on another
woman? Were hate and love so near akin? Could the belief that he
despised her make her so wretched if she only hated him?
During the early part of the present week she had struggled almost
fiercely to retain her hold on her old life。 Uniting herself to a
clique of thoughtless young people; who made amusement and excitement
their only pursuit; she seemed to be the gayest and most reckless
of them all; while her heart was sinking like lead。 Every glance
toward the cold; averted face of the artist; inspired her with more
than his own scorn toward what she was and the frivolities of her
life。 She tried to shut her eyes to the truth; and clung desperately
to every impeding trifle; but felt all the time that an irresistible
tide of events was carrying her toward the revelation that she
loved a man who despised her; and always would despise her。
And on this night; when she saw their dim forms and heard their low
tones as Miss Burton and Van Berg talked earnestly on the farther
end of the piazza; when she saw that they grasped hands in parting;
and noted the rapt look upon his face as he passed her by uncaringly
and unnotinglythe revelation came。 It was as sharply and painfully
distinct as if he had stopped and plunged a knife into her heart。
With all her faults and follies; Ida had never been a pale shadowy
creature; full of complex psychological moods which neither she
nor any one else could untangle。 She knew whom and what she liked
and disliked; and it was not her nature to do things by halves。
There had always been a kind of simplicity and straightforwardness
even in her wickedness; and she usually seemed to people quite as
bad; and indeed worse; than she really was。
Why of all others she loved this man; and how it all had come about;
was a mystery that puzzled her sorely; but she had no labyrinthine
heart in which to play hide and seek with her own consciousness。
And so vividly conscious was she now of this new and absorbing
passion; that she hastily turned her face from her companions toward
the cloudy sky; that looked as dark to her as it had to Jennie
Burton; and for a moment sought desperately to recover from a dizzy;
reeling sense of pain that was well…nigh overwhelming。 Then the
womanly instinct to hide her secret asserted itself; and a moment
later her laugh jarred discordantly on Van Berg's ears; and he
interpreted it as wisely as have thousands of others who fail to
recognize the truth that often no cry of pain is so bitter as a
reckless laugh。
A little later; however; her companions missed her。 Later still
her mother sought admission to her room in vain。
When she came down to breakfast the next morning; she was very
quiet and self…possessed; but her face was so pale and the traces
of suffering were so manifest; that her mother insisted that she
was not well。
She coldly admitted the fact。
The voluble lady launched out into an indefinite number of questions
and suggestions of remedies。
〃Mother;〃 said Ida; with a flash of her eyes and an accent which
caused not only that lady but several others to look toward her
with a little surprise; 〃if you have anything further to say to me
in regard to my health; please say it in my own room。〃
Van Berg glanced towards her several times after this; and was
compelled to admit that whatever fault he might justly find; the
face with which she confronted him that morning was anything but
weak and trivial in its expression。
But her icy reserve and coldness did not compare favorably with Miss
Burton; who had now fully regained her smiling reticence; acting
as usual as if the only law of her being was to utter genial words
and to bestow with consummate tact little gifts of attention and
kindness on every side; as the summer sun without was scattering
its vivifying rays。
Chapter XXI。 A Deliberate Wooer。
Miss Burton's bearing toward Van Berg was very friendly; but he
failed to detect in her manner the slightest proof that she had ever
thought of him otherwise than as a friend。 There was no sudden
drooping of her eyelashes; or heightening of color when he spoke to
her; or permitted his eyes to dwell upon her face with an expression
that was rather more than friendly。 He could detect no furtive
glances; nothing to indicate that she had caught a glimpse of that
secret so interesting to every woman that she would look again;
though cold as ice toward the man cherishing it。 Nor