a face illumined-第102节

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was　in　the　darkened　room　in　which　poor　Jennie　was　resting；　more

from　her　long　passionate　struggle　with　a　sorrow　she　could　not　bury

than　from　the　exhaustion　caused　by　her　rescue　of　Van　Berg。



Friday　morning　happened　to　be　very　warm；　and　Ida　did　not　visit　Mr。

Eltinge；　but　ensconced　herself　in　a　distant　corner　of　the　piazza

with　a　book；　the　pages　of　which　were　not　turned　very　regularly。

〃I　wonder；〃　she　thought；　〃when；　if　ever；　we　shall　have　another

friendly　talk。　　What　a　strange；　deep　hush；　as　it　were；　has　come

after　the　passionate　joy　and　desperate　sorrow　and　fear　of　the　past

week！　　It　is　the　type　of　what　my　inner　life　will　be。　　But　I　must

not　complain；　thousands　of　hearts；　no　doubt；　are　the　burial…places

of　as　dear　a　hope　as　mine；　and　One　is　pledged　to　give　me　back　my

life　in　some　way；　and　at　some　time。



〃Miss　Ida；〃　said　a　voice　that　made　her　start　and　crimson　in　spite

of　herself；　〃may　I　come　out　and　talk　with　you　a　little　while？〃　and

she　saw　that　Van　Berg　was　speaking　to　her　through　the　window　blinds

of　one　of　the　private　parlors。



〃Yes；〃　she　said　hesitatingly；　〃if　you　think　it　is　best。〃



He　went　around　and　came　openly　to　her　side；　bringing　a　small　camp…chair

with　him。　　as　he　steadied　himself　against　a　piazza　column　in　taking

his　seat；　and　leaned　his　crutches　on　the　railing；　her　looks　were

very　sympathetic。　　With　a　smile　he　took　on　of　his　crutches　in　his

hands　as　he　said：



〃I　have　come　to　these　very　properly　at　last；　and　you　must　have

seen　their　significance。　　It　is　my　spiritual　and　moral　lameness；

however；　that　now　troubles　me　most；　Miss　Mayhew。　　When　lying　at　the

bottom　of　that　ravine；　expecting　death；　I　vowed；　like　most　sinners

in　similar　circumstances；　I　suppose；　that　if　I　ever　escaped　I

would　become　a　Christian　man。　　I　intend　to　keep　the　vow　if　it　is

a　possible　thing。　　But　I　make　no　progress。　　I　prayed　then；　and　I

have　prayed　and　read　my　Bible　since；　but　everything　is　forced　and

formal；　and　the　thought　will　come　to　me　continually；　that　I　might

as　well　pray　to　Socrates　or　Plato　as　to　Christ。　　I　wish　you　could

teach　me　your　faith。〃



〃Mr。　Van　Berg；〃　replied　Ida；　with　a　troubled　face；　〃I'm　not　wise

enough　to　guide　you　in　such　a　matter。　　I　would　much　rather　you

would　talk　with　Mr。　Eltinge　or　some　learned；　good　man。〃



〃I　shall　be　glad　to　see　Mr。　Eltinge；　but　I　don't　care　to　go　to　the

learned　man　just　yet。　　We　might　get　into　an　argument；　in　which　of

course　I　should　be　worsted；　but　I　fear　not　convinced。　　I　have　never

known　anything　so　real　as　your　faith　has　seemed；　but　I　can　obtain

nothing　that　in　the　least　corresponds　with　it。　　I　ask；　but　receive

no　more　response　than　if　I　spoke　to　the　empty　air。　　Then　comes　the

strong　temptation　to　relapse　into　the　old　materialistic　philosophy；

which　I　had　practically　accepted；　and　to　believe　that　religious

experiences　are　imaginary；　or　the　result　of　education　and

temperament。　　At　the　same　time　I　have　found　this　philosophy　such　a

wretched　support；　either　in　life　or　in　the　prospect　of　death；　that

I　would　be　glad　to　throw　it　away　as　worthless。〃



〃I　fear　to　speak　to　you　on　this　subject；〃　she　said；　〃and　shall　not

for　a　moment　attempt　to　teach　you　anything。　　They　say　facts　are

stubborn　things；　and　I'll　tell　you　a　few；　which　to　my　simple；　homely

common…sense　are　conclusive。　　To　a　man's　reason　they　may　count　for

little。　　My　religious　experiences　are　not　the　result　of　education

or　temperament；　but　are　contrary　to　both；　and　if　they　are　imaginary；

all　my　experiences　are　imaginary。　　Perhaps　I　can　best　tell　you　what

I　mean　by　an　illustration　that　is　a　pleasant　one　to　me。　　There　is

a　partially　finished　picture　in　your　studio　that　I　hope　to　hang

some　day　in　my　own　sanctum　at　home。　　How　shall　I　ever　know　that　I

have　that　picture？　　How　shall　I　ever　know　that　you　have　given　it　to

me？　　I　shall　know　it　because　you　keep　your　promise　and　send　it　to

me。　　I　shall　have　it　in　my　possession；　and　I　shall　enjoy　it　daily。

Are　not　hope；　patience；　peace；　when　the　world　could　give　no　peace；

as　real　as　your　picture？　　Is　not　the　honest　purpose　to　overcome

a　nature　that　you　know　is　so　very　faulty；　as　real　a　gift　as　any　I

could　receive？　　If　the　Friend　I　have　found　promises　me　such　things；

and　at　once　begins　to　keep　his　word；　why　should　I　not　trust　him？

But　remember；　you　must　not　expect　from　me　very　much　at　first；　any

more　than　did　Mr。　Eltinge　from　the　little　pear…tree　he　lifted　up

and　gave　a　chance　to　live。　　Now；　with　one　more　thought；　my　small

cup　of　theology　is　emptied。　　To　go　back　to　my　illustration：　　Suppose

some　person　should　say　that　he　had　not　a　picture　of　Mr。　Eltinge；

that　would　be　no　proof　that　I　did　not　have　one；　or　that　you　had

not　given　one　to　me。　　I　don't　see；　Mr。　Van　Berg；　that　the　fact　that

you　have　no　faith　this　morning；　is　anything　against　the　fact　that

I　and　Mr。　Eltinge；　and　so　many　others　do　have　faith；　with　good

reasons　for　it；　and　are　able　to　say；　〃I　KNOW　that　my　Redeemer

liveth。'　　The　testimony　of　other　people　counts　for　something　in

most　matters。　　Why　must　such　men　as　Mr。　Eltinge　be　set　down　either

as　deceivers　or　deceived；　when　they　state　some　of　the　most　certain

facts　of　their　experience？〃



〃I　knew　you　were　the　right　one　to　come　to；〃　he　said；　looking　at

her　so　earnestly　that　her　eyes　fell　before　his；　〃but　why　is　it；　do

you　think；　that　I　receive　no　answer？〃



〃As　I　told　you；　my　little　cup　of　knowledge　is　empty；　but　it　seems

to　me　that　in　your　happy；　wonderful　rescue　you　were　answered。　　You

have　promised　to　become　a　Christian；　Mr。　Van　Berg。　　You　certainly

did　not　limit　your　effort　to　this　week。　　Surely　to　be　a　Christian

is　worth　a　lifetime　of　effort。〃



〃I　understand　you　again；〃　he　said　with　a　smile；　〃you　leave　me

no　other　choice　than　to　make　a　lifetime　of　effort。　　But　I　fear　it

will　be　awfully　up…hill　work。　　The　Bible　seems　to　me　an　old…world

book。　　Many　parts　take　a　strong　hold　on　my　imagination；　and　of

course　I　know　its　surpassing　literary　merit；　but　I　don't　find　in

it　much　that　seems　personally　applicable　or　helpful。　　Do　you？　　I

admit；　though；　that　when　I　read　words　this　morning　to　the　effect

that　'a　brutish　man　knoweth　not；　neither　doth　a　fool　understand。'

I　felt　that　the　good　old　saint　must　have　had　his　prophetic　eye　on

me　at　the　time　of　writing。〃



〃You　are　as　unjust　towards　yourself　as　ever；　I　see；〃　she　said。

〃I　have　found　another　Psalm　that　to　me　meant　so　much　that　I　have

committed　the　first　part　of　it　to　memory。　　You　can　understand　why

the　following　words　are　significant；〃　and　in　the　plaintive　tones　that

had　vibrated　so　deeply　in　his　heart　when　she　read　to　Mr。　Eltinge；

she　repeated：



〃I　love　the　Lord　because　he　hath　heard　my　voice　and　my　supplication。



〃Because　he　hath　inclined　his　ear　unto　me；　therefore　will　I　call

upon　him　as　long　as　I　live。



〃The　sorrows　of　death　compassed　me；　and　the　pains　of　hell　got　hold

upon　me：　　I　found　trouble　and　sorrow。



〃Then　called　I　upon　the　name　of　the　Lord；　O　Lord；　I　beseech　thee；

deliver　my　soul。



〃The　Lord　preserveth　the　simple：　　I　was　brought　low　and　he　HELPED

me。



〃Return　unto　thy　rest；　O　my　soul；　for　the　Lord　hath　dealt　bountifully

with　thee。



〃For　thou　hast　delivered　my　soul　from　death；　mine　eyes　from　tears；

and　my　feet　from　falling。



〃And　this　is　my　conclusion；　Mr。　Van　Berg；　'I　will　walk　before　the

Lord　in　the　land　of　the　living。'　　I　am　going　to　find　plenty　of

good；　live；　wholesome　work　to　do　'in　the　land　of　the　living；'　and

I　intend　to　do　it　as　if　I　enjoyed　it；　indeed；　I　think　I　shall　enjoy

it；〃　and　she　rose　and　left　him　with　a　genial　and　cheery　smile。



But　he　sat　still　and　thought　long　and　deeply。　　At　last　he　muttered

in　conclusion：　　〃'By　their　fruits　ye　shall　know　them。'　　Once　more；

God　bless　Ida　Mayhew　for　all　she　has　been　to　me！〃



When　they　were　gathered　at　dinner；　Jennie　Burton　walked　in　and　took

her　seat　in　the　most　quiet　and　matter　of　course　way　possible。



Van　Berg　laid　down　his　knife　and　fork　and　exclaimed：　　〃You　have

stolen　a　march　on　us。　　We　designed　giving　you　an　ovation　when　you

came　down。〃



〃Will　you　please　pass　me　the　bread　in　its　place；　Mr。　Van　Berg？〃　　she

replied　in　her　former　piquant；　mirthful　way。　　〃With　the　appetite

that　is　coming　back　to　me；　one　of　Mr。　Burleigh's　good　dinners　is　far

more　to　my　taste　than　an　ovation　which　I　now　decline　with　thanks。〃



Very　pale　and　slight　she　certainly　had　become；　but　they　saw　her　old

cheery；　indomitable　spirit　once　more　looked　out　of　her　blue　eyes

and　vibrated　in　the　tones　of　her　voice。　　With　the　changes　indicated；

she　was　the　same　bright　little　〃enigma　in　brown〃　that　had　so

fascinated　Van　Berg　the　first　day　of　her　arrival；　and　led　him　to　make

the　half…jesting　prediction　to　Stanton　that　had　been　so　thoroughly

fulfilled。　　In　spite　of　themselves　her　irresistible　grace；　wit；

and　humor　created　continuous　and　irrepressible　merriment　at　their

table；　which　Ida　seconded　with　a　tact　and　piquancy　but　little

inferior　to　that　of　Mis