don quixote(堂·吉珂德)-第68节

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such　a　friend　to　be　found　as　Lothario　would　have；　so　judicious；　so
loyal；　and　so　true？
　　Of　a　truth　I　know　not；　Lothario　alone　was　such　a　one；　for　with　the
utmost　care　and　vigilance　he　watched　over　the　honour　of　his　friend；
and　strove　to　diminish；　cut　down；　and　reduce　the　number　of　days　for
going　to　his　house　according　to　their　agreement；　lest　the　visits　of
a　young　man；　wealthy；　high…born；　and　with　the　attractions　he　was
conscious　of　possessing；　at　the　house　of　a　woman　so　beautiful　as
Camilla；　should　be　regarded　with　suspicion　by　the　inquisitive　and
malicious　eyes　of　the　idle　public。　For　though　his　integrity　and
reputation　might　bridle　slanderous　tongues；　still　he　was　unwilling
to　hazard　either　his　own　good　name　or　that　of　his　friend；　and　for　this
reason　most　of　the　days　agreed　upon　he　devoted　to　some　other
business　which　he　pretended　was　unavoidable；　so　that　a　great　portion
of　the　day　was　taken　up　with　complaints　on　one　side　and　excuses　on　the
other。　It　happened；　however；　that　on　one　occasion　when　the　two　were
strolling　together　outside　the　city；　Anselmo　addressed　the　following
words　to　Lothario。
　　〃Thou　mayest　suppose；　Lothario　my　friend；　that　I　am　unable　to　give
sufficient　thanks　for　the　favours　God　has　rendered　me　in　making　me　the
son　of　such　parents　as　mine　were；　and　bestowing　upon　me　with　no
niggard　hand　what　are　called　the　gifts　of　nature　as　well　as　those　of
fortune；　and　above　all　for　what　he　has　done　in　giving　me　thee　for　a
friend　and　Camilla　for　a　wife…　two　treasures　that　I　value；　if　not　as
highly　as　I　ought；　at　least　as　highly　as　I　am　able。　And　yet；　with
all　these　good　things；　which　are　commonly　all　that　men　need　to
enable　them　to　live　happily；　I　am　the　most　discontented　and
dissatisfied　man　in　the　whole　world；　for；　I　know　not　how　long　since；　I
have　been　harassed　and　oppressed　by　a　desire　so　strange　and　so
unusual；　that　I　wonder　at　myself　and　blame　and　chide　myself　when　I
am　alone；　and　strive　to　stifle　it　and　hide　it　from　my　own　thoughts；
and　with　no　better　success　than　if　I　were　endeavouring　deliberately　to
publish　it　to　all　the　world；　and　as；　in　short；　it　must　come　out；　I
would　confide　it　to　thy　safe　keeping；　feeling　sure　that　by　this　means；
and　by　thy　readiness　as　a　true　friend　to　afford　me　relief；　I　shall
soon　find　myself　freed　from　the　distress　it　causes　me；　and　that　thy
care　will　give　me　happiness　in　the　same　degree　as　my　own　folly　has
caused　me　misery。〃
　　The　words　of　Anselmo　struck　Lothario　with　astonishment；　unable　as　he
was　to　conjecture　the　purport　of　such　a　lengthy　preamble；　and　though
be　strove　to　imagine　what　desire　it　could　be　that　so　troubled　his
friend；　his　conjectures　were　all　far　from　the　truth；　and　to　relieve
the　anxiety　which　this　perplexity　was　causing　him；　he　told　him　he
was　doing　a　flagrant　injustice　to　their　great　friendship　in　seeking
circuitous　methods　of　confiding　to　him　his　most　hidden　thoughts；　for
be　well　knew　he　might　reckon　upon　his　counsel　in　diverting　them；　or
his　help　in　carrying　them　into　effect。
　　〃That　is　the　truth；〃　replied　Anselmo；　〃and　relying　upon　that　I
will　tell　thee；　friend　Lothario；　that　the　desire　which　harasses　me
is　that　of　knowing　whether　my　wife　Camilla　is　as　good　and　as　perfect
as　I　think　her　to　be；　and　I　cannot　satisfy　myself　of　the　truth　on　this
point　except　by　testing　her　in　such　a　way　that　the　trial　may　prove　the
purity　of　her　virtue　as　the　fire　proves　that　of　gold；　because　I　am
persuaded；　my　friend；　that　a　woman　is　virtuous　only　in　proportion　as
she　is　or　is　not　tempted；　and　that　she　alone　is　strong　who　does　not
yield　to　the　promises；　gifts；　tears；　and　importunities　of　earnest
lovers；　for　what　thanks　does　a　woman　deserve　for　being　good　if　no
one　urges　her　to　be　bad；　and　what　wonder　is　it　that　she　is　reserved
and　circumspect　to　whom　no　opportunity　is　given　of　going　wrong　and　who
knows　she　has　a　husband　that　will　take　her　life　the　first　time　he
detects　her　in　an　impropriety？　I　do　not　therefore　hold　her　who　is
virtuous　through　fear　or　want　of　opportunity　in　the　same　estimation　as
her　who　comes　out　of　temptation　and　trial　with　a　crown　of　victory；　and
so；　for　these　reasons　and　many　others　that　I　could　give　thee　to
justify　and　support　the　opinion　I　hold；　I　am　desirous　that　my　wife
Camilla　should　pass　this　crisis；　and　be　refined　and　tested　by　the　fire
of　finding　herself　wooed　and　by　one　worthy　to　set　his　affections
upon　her；　and　if　she　comes　out；　as　I　know　she　will；　victorious　from
this　struggle；　I　shall　look　upon　my　good　fortune　as　unequalled；　I
shall　be　able　to　say　that　the　cup　of　my　desire　is　full；　and　that　the
virtuous　woman　of　whom　the　sage　says　'Who　shall　find　her？'　has
fallen　to　my　lot。　And　if　the　result　be　the　contrary　of　what　I
expect；　in　the　satisfaction　of　knowing　that　I　have　been　right　in　my
opinion；　I　shall　bear　without　complaint　the　pain　which　my　so　dearly
bought　experience　will　naturally　cause　me。　And；　as　nothing　of　all　thou
wilt　urge　in　opposition　to　my　wish　will　avail　to　keep　me　from　carrying
it　into　effect；　it　is　my　desire；　friend　Lothario；　that　thou　shouldst
consent　to　become　the　instrument　for　effecting　this　purpose　that　I
am　bent　upon；　for　I　will　afford　thee　opportunities　to　that　end；　and
nothing　shall　be　wanting　that　I　may　think　necessary　for　the　pursuit　of
a　virtuous；　honourable；　modest　and　high…minded　woman。　And　among
other　reasons；　I　am　induced　to　entrust　this　arduous　task　to　thee　by
the　consideration　that　if　Camilla　be　conquered　by　thee　the　conquest
will　not　be　pushed　to　extremes；　but　only　far　enough　to　account　that
accomplished　which　from　a　sense　of　honour　will　be　left　undone；　thus
I　shall　not　be　wronged　in　anything　more　than　intention；　and　my　wrong
will　remain　buried　in　the　integrity　of　thy　silence；　which　I　know
well　will　be　as　lasting　as　that　of　death　in　what　concerns　me。　If；
therefore；　thou　wouldst　have　me　enjoy　what　can　be　called　life；　thou
wilt　at　once　engage　in　this　love　struggle；　not　lukewarmly　nor
slothfully；　but　with　the　energy　and　zeal　that　my　desire　demands；　and
with　the　loyalty　our　friendship　assures　me　of。〃
　　Such　were　the　words　Anselmo　addressed　to　Lothario；　who　listened　to
them　with　such　attention　that；　except　to　say　what　has　been　already
mentioned；　he　did　not　open　his　lips　until　the　other　had　finished。　Then
perceiving　that　he　had　no　more　to　say；　after　regarding　him　for　awhile；
as　one　would　regard　something　never　before　seen　that　excited　wonder
and　amazement；　he　said　to　him；　〃I　cannot　persuade　myself；　Anselmo　my
friend；　that　what　thou　hast　said　to　me　is　not　in　jest；　if　I　thought
that　thou　wert　speaking　seriously　I　would　not　have　allowed　thee　to
go　so　far；　so　as　to　put　a　stop　to　thy　long　harangue　by　not　listening
to　thee　I　verily　suspect　that　either　thou　dost　not　know　me；　or　I　do
not　know　thee；　but　no；　I　know　well　thou　art　Anselmo；　and　thou
knowest　that　I　am　Lothario；　the　misfortune　is；　it　seems　to　me；　that
thou　art　not　the　Anselmo　thou　wert；　and　must　have　thought　that　I　am
not　the　Lothario　I　should　be；　for　the　things　that　thou　hast　said　to　me
are　not　those　of　that　Anselmo　who　was　my　friend；　nor　are　those　that
thou　demandest　of　me　what　should　be　asked　of　the　Lothario　thou
knowest。　True　friends　will　prove　their　friends　and　make　use　of　them；
as　a　poet　has　said；　usque　ad　aras；　whereby　he　meant　that　they　will　not
make　use　of　their　friendship　in　things　that　are　contrary　to　God's
will。　If　this；　then；　was　a　heathen's　feeling　about　friendship；　how
much　more　should　it　be　a　Christian's；　who　knows　that　the　divine　must
not　be　forfeited　for　the　sake　of　any　human　friendship？　And　if　a　friend
should　go　so　far　as　to　put　aside　his　duty　to　Heaven　to　fulfil　his　duty
to　his　friend；　it　should　not　be　in　matters　that　are　trifling　or　of
little　moment；　but　in　such　as　affect　the　friend's　life　and　honour。　Now
tell　me；　Anselmo；　in　which　of　these　two　art　thou　imperilled；　that　I
should　hazard　myself　to　gratify　thee；　and　do　a　thing　so　detestable
as　that　thou　seekest　of　me？　Neither　forsooth；　on　the　contrary；　thou
dost　ask　of　me；　so　far　as　I　understand；　to　strive　and　labour　to　rob
thee　of　honour　and　life；　and　to　rob　myself　of　them　at　the　same　time；
for　if　I　take　away　thy　honour　it　is　plain　I　take　away　thy　life；　as　a
man　without　honour　is　worse　than　dead；　and　being　the　instrument；　as
thou　wilt　have　it　so；　of　so　much　wrong　to　thee；　shall　not　I；　too；　be
left　without　honour；　and　consequently　without　life？　Listen　to　me；
Anselmo　my　friend；　and　be　not　impatient　to　answer　me　until　I　have　said
what　occurs　to　me　touching　the　object　of　thy　desire；　for　there　will　be
time　enough　left　for　thee　to　reply　and　for　me　to　hear。〃
　　〃Be　it　so；〃　said　Anselmo；　〃say　what　thou　wilt。〃
　　Lothario　then　went　on　to　say；　〃It　seems　to　me；　Anselmo；　that　thine
is　just　now　the　temper　of　mind　which　is　always　that　of　the　Moors；
who　can　never　be　brought　to　see　the　error　of　their　creed　by　quotations
from　the　Holy　Scriptures；　or　by　reasons　which　depend　upon　the
examination　of　the　understanding　or　are　founded　upon　the　articles　of
faith；　but　must　have　examples　that　are　palpable；　easy；　intelligible；
capable　of　proof；　not　admitting　of　doubt；　with　mathematical
demonstrations　that　cannot　be　denied；　like；　'If　equals　be　taken　from
equals；　the　remainders　are　equal：'　and　if　they　do　not