don quixote(堂·吉珂德)-第196节

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duchess？〃　asked　Don　Quixote。
　　〃Adjured　in　that　way；〃　replied　the　duenna；　〃I　cannot　help
answering　the　question　and　telling　the　whole　truth。　Senor　Don　Quixote；
have　you　observed　the　comeliness　of　my　lady　the　duchess；　that　smooth
complexion　of　hers　like　a　burnished　polished　sword；　those　two　cheeks
of　milk　and　carmine；　that　gay　lively　step　with　which　she　treads　or
rather　seems　to　spurn　the　earth；　so　that　one　would　fancy　she　went
radiating　health　wherever　she　passed？　Well　then；　let　me　tell　you　she
may　thank；　first　of　all　God；　for　this；　and　next；　two　issues　that　she
has；　one　in　each　leg；　by　which　all　the　evil　humours；　of　which　the
doctors　say　she　is　full；　are　discharged。〃
　　〃Blessed　Virgin！〃　exclaimed　Don　Quixote；　〃and　is　it　possible　that　my
lady　the　duchess　has　drains　of　that　sort？　I　would　not　have　believed　it
if　the　barefoot　friars　had　told　it　me；　but　as　the　lady　Dona
Rodriguez　says　so；　it　must　be　so。　But　surely　such　issues；　and　in
such　places；　do　not　discharge　humours；　but　liquid　amber。　Verily；　I
do　believe　now　that　this　practice　of　opening　issues　is　a　very
important　matter　for　the　health。〃
　　Don　Quixote　had　hardly　said　this；　when　the　chamber　door　flew　open
with　a　loud　bang；　and　with　the　start　the　noise　gave　her　Dona　Rodriguez
let　the　candle　fall　from　her　hand；　and　the　room　was　left　as　dark　as
a　wolf's　mouth；　as　the　saying　is。　Suddenly　the　poor　duenna　felt　two
hands　seize　her　by　the　throat；　so　tightly　that　she　could　not　croak；
while　some　one　else；　without　uttering　a　word；　very　briskly　hoisted
up　her　petticoats；　and　with　what　seemed　to　be　a　slipper　began　to　lay
on　so　heartily　that　anyone　would　have　felt　pity　for　her；　but
although　Don　Quixote　felt　it　he　never　stirred　from　his　bed；　but　lay
quiet　and　silent；　nay　apprehensive　that　his　turn　for　a　drubbing
might　be　coming。　Nor　was　the　apprehension　an　idle　one；　one；　for
leaving　the　duenna　（who　did　not　dare　to　cry　out）　well　basted；　the
silent　executioners　fell　upon　Don　Quixote；　and　stripping　him　of　the
sheet　and　the　coverlet；　they　pinched　him　so　fast　and　so　hard　that　he
was　driven　to　defend　himself　with　his　fists；　and　all　this　in
marvellous　silence。　The　battle　lasted　nearly　half　an　hour；　and　then
the　phantoms　fled；　Dona　Rodriguez　gathered　up　her　skirts；　and
bemoaning　her　fate　went　out　without　saying　a　word　to　Don　Quixote；
and　he；　sorely　pinched；　puzzled；　and　dejected；　remained　alone；　and
there　we　will　leave　him；　wondering　who　could　have　been　the　perverse
enchanter　who　had　reduced　him　to　such　a　state；　but　that　shall　be
told　in　due　season；　for　Sancho　claims　our　attention；　and　the
methodical　arrangement　of　the　story　demands　it。


　　CHAPTER　XLIX
　　OF　WHAT　HAPPENED　SANCHO　IN　MAKING　THE　ROUND　OF　HIS　ISLAND

　　WE　left　the　great　governor　angered　and　irritated　by　that
portrait…painting　rogue　of　a　farmer　who；　instructed　the　majordomo；
as　the　majordomo　was　by　the　duke；　tried　to　practise　upon　him；　he
however；　fool；　boor；　and　clown　as　he　was；　held　his　own　against　them
all；　saying　to　those　round　him　and　to　Doctor　Pedro　Recio；　who　as
soon　as　the　private　business　of　the　duke's　letter　was　disposed　of
had　returned　to　the　room；　〃Now　I　see　plainly　enough　that　judges　and
governors　ought　to　be　and　must　be　made　of　brass　not　to　feel　the
importunities　of　the　applicants　that　at　all　times　and　all　seasons
insist　on　being　heard；　and　having　their　business　despatched；　and　their
own　affairs　and　no　others　attended　to；　come　what　may；　and　if　the
poor　judge　does　not　hear　them　and　settle　the　matter…　either　because　he
cannot　or　because　that　is　not　the　time　set　apart　for　hearing　them…
forthwith　they　abuse　him；　and　run　him　down；　and　gnaw　at　his　bones；　and
even　pick　holes　in　his　pedigree。　You　silly；　stupid　applicant；　don't　be
in　a　hurry；　wait　for　the　proper　time　and　season　for　doing　business；
don't　come　at　dinner…hour；　or　at　bed…time；　for　judges　are　only　flesh
and　blood；　and　must　give　to　Nature　what　she　naturally　demands　of　them；
all　except　myself；　for　in　my　case　I　give　her　nothing　to　eat；　thanks　to
Senor　Doctor　Pedro　Recio　Tirteafuera　here；　who　would　have　me　die　of
hunger；　and　declares　that　death　to　be　life；　and　the　same　sort　of
life　may　God　give　him　and　all　his　kind…　I　mean　the　bad　doctors；　for
the　good　ones　deserve　palms　and　laurels。〃
　　All　who　knew　Sancho　Panza　were　astonished　to　hear　him　speak　so
elegantly；　and　did　not　know　what　to　attribute　it　to　unless　it　were
that　office　and　grave　responsibility　either　smarten　or　stupefy　men's
wits。　At　last　Doctor　Pedro　Recio　Agilers　of　Tirteafuera　promised　to
let　him　have　supper　that　night　though　it　might　be　in　contravention
of　all　the　aphorisms　of　Hippocrates。　With　this　the　governor　was
satisfied　and　looked　forward　to　the　approach　of　night　and
supper…time　with　great　anxiety；　and　though　time；　to　his　mind；　stood
still　and　made　no　progress；　nevertheless　the　hour　he　so　longed　for
came；　and　they　gave　him　a　beef　salad　with　onions　and　some　boiled
calves'　feet　rather　far　gone。　At　this　he　fell　to　with　greater　relish
than　if　they　had　given　him　francolins　from　Milan；　pheasants　from　Rome；
veal　from　Sorrento；　partridges　from　Moron；　or　geese　from　Lavajos；
and　turning　to　the　doctor　at　supper　he　said　to　him；　〃Look　here；
senor　doctor；　for　the　future　don't　trouble　yourself　about　giving　me
dainty　things　or　choice　dishes　to　eat；　for　it　will　be　only　taking　my
stomach　off　its　hinges；　it　is　accustomed　to　goat；　cow；　bacon；　hung
beef；　turnips　and　onions；　and　if　by　any　chance　it　is　given　these
palace　dishes；　it　receives　them　squeamishly；　and　sometimes　with
loathing。　What　the　head…carver　had　best　do　is　to　serve　me　with　what
they　call　ollas　podridas　（and　the　rottener　they　are　the　better　they
smell）；　and　he　can　put　whatever　he　likes　into　them；　so　long　as　it　is
good　to　eat；　and　I'll　be　obliged　to　him；　and　will　requite　him　some
day。　But　let　nobody　play　pranks　on　me；　for　either　we　are　or　we　are
not；　let　us　live　and　eat　in　peace　and　good…fellowship；　for　when　God
sends　the　dawn；　be　sends　it　for　all。　I　mean　to　govern　this　island
without　giving　up　a　right　or　taking　a　bribe；　let　everyone　keep　his　eye
open；　and　look　out　for　the　arrow；　for　I　can　tell　them　'the　devil's
in　Cantillana；'　and　if　they　drive　me　to　it　they'll　see　something
that　will　astonish　them。　Nay！　make　yourself　honey　and　the　flies　eat
you。〃
　　〃Of　a　truth；　senor　governor；〃　said　the　carver；　〃your　worship　is　in
the　right　of　it　in　everything　you　have　said；　and　I　promise　you　in
the　name　of　all　the　inhabitants　of　this　island　that　they　will　serve
your　worship　with　all　zeal；　affection；　and　good…will；　for　the　mild
kind　of　government　you　have　given　a　sample　of　to　begin　with；　leaves
them　no　ground　for　doing　or　thinking　anything　to　your　worship's
disadvantage。〃
　　〃That　I　believe；〃　said　Sancho；　〃and　they　would　be　great　fools　if
they　did　or　thought　otherwise；　once　more　I　say；　see　to　my　feeding
and　my　Dapple's　for　that　is　the　great　point　and　what　is　most　to　the
purpose；　and　when　the　hour　comes　let　us　go　the　rounds；　for　it　is　my
intention　to　purge　this　island　of　all　manner　of　uncleanness　and　of　all
idle　good…for…nothing　vagabonds；　for　I　would　have　you　know　that　lazy
idlers　are　the　same　thing　in　a　State　as　the　drones　in　a　hive；　that　eat
up　the　honey　the　industrious　bees　make。　I　mean　to　protect　the
husbandman；　to　preserve　to　the　gentleman　his　privileges；　to　reward　the
virtuous；　and　above　all　to　respect　religion　and　honour　its
ministers。　What　say　you　to　that；　my　friends？　Is　there　anything　in　what
I　say；　or　am　I　talking　to　no　purpose？〃
　　〃There　is　so　much　in　what　your　worship　says；　senor　governor；〃　said
the　majordomo；　〃that　I　am　filled　with　wonder　when　I　see　a　man　like
your　worship；　entirely　without　learning　（for　I　believe　you　have　none
at　all）；　say　such　things；　and　so　full　of　sound　maxims　and　sage
remarks；　very　different　from　what　was　expected　of　your　worship's
intelligence　by　those　who　sent　us　or　by　us　who　came　here。　Every　day　we
see　something　new　in　this　world；　jokes　become　realities；　and　the
jokers　find　the　tables　turned　upon　them。〃
　　Night　came；　and　with　the　permission　of　Doctor　Pedro　Recio；　the
governor　had　supper。　They　then　got　ready　to　go　the　rounds；　and　he
started　with　the　majordomo；　the　secretary；　the　head…carver；　the
chronicler　charged　with　recording　his　deeds；　and　alguacils　and
notaries　enough　to　form　a　fair…sized　squadron。　In　the　midst　marched
Sancho　with　his　staff；　as　fine　a　sight　as　one　could　wish　to　see；　and
but　a　few　streets　of　the　town　had　been　traversed　when　they　heard　a
noise　as　of　a　clashing　of　swords。　They　hastened　to　the　spot；　and　found
that　the　combatants　were　but　two；　who　seeing　the　authorities
approaching　stood　still；　and　one　of　them　exclaimed；　〃Help；　in　the　name
of　God　and　the　king！　Are　men　to　he　allowed　to　rob　in　the　middle　of
this　town；　and　rush　out　and　attack　people　in　the　very　streets？〃
　　〃Be　calm；　my　good　man；〃　said　Sancho；　〃and　tell　me　what　the　cause
of　this　quarrel　is；　for　I　am　the　governor。〃
　　Said　the　other　combatant；　〃Senor　governor；　I　will　tell　you　in　a　very
few　words。　Your　worship　must　know　that　this　gentleman　has　just　now　won
more　than　a　thousand　reals　in　that　gambling　house　opposite；　and　God
knows　how。　I　was　there；　and　gave　more　than　one　doubtful　point　in　his
favour；　very　much　against　what　my　conscience　tol