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and the moment appeared to Mr。 Lavender auspicious for addressing them。

Without; therefore; emerging from the pond; which he took for his;

platform; he spoke as follows:



〃Circumstances over which I have no control have given me the advantage

of your presence in numbers which do credit to the heart of the nation to

which we all belong。  In the midst of the greatest war which ever

threatened the principle of Liberty; I rejoice to see so many people able

to follow the free and spontaneous impulses of their inmost beings。  For;

while we must remember that our every hour is at the disposal of our

country; we must not forget the maxim of our fathers: 'Britons never will

be slaves。'  Only by preserving the freedom of individual conscience; and

at the same time surrendering it whole…heartedly to every which the State

makes on us; can we hope defeat the machinations of the arch enemies of

mankind。〃



At this moment a little stone hit him sharply on the hand。



〃Who threw that stone?〃 said Mr。 Lavender。  Let him stand out。〃



The culprit; no other indeed than he who had thrown the hat in; and not

fetched it out for a shilling; thus menaced with discovery made use of a

masterly device; and called out loudly:



〃Pro…German!〃



Such was the instinctive patriotism of the crowd that the cry was taken

up in several quarters; and for the moment Mr。 Lavender remained

speechless from astonishment。  The cries of 〃Pro…German!〃 increased in

volume; and a stone hitting her on the nose caused Blink to utter a yelp;

Mr。 Lavender's eyes blazed。



〃Huns!〃 he cried; 〃Huns! I am coming out。〃



With this prodigious threat he emerged from the pond at the very moment

that a car scattered the throng; and a well…known voice said:



〃Well; sir; you 'ave been goin' it!〃



〃Joe;〃 said Mr。 Lavender; 〃don't speak to me!〃



〃Get in。〃



〃Never!〃



〃Pro…Germans!〃 yelled the crowd。



〃Get in!〃 repeated Joe。



And seizing Mr。 Lavender as if collaring him at football; he knocked off

his hat; propelled him into the car; banged the door; mounted; and

started at full speed; with Blink leaping and barking in front of them。



Debouching from Piave Parade into Bottomley Lane he drove up it till the

crowd was but a memory before he stopped to examine the condition

his master。  Mr。 Lavender was hanging out of window; looking back; and

shivering violently。



〃Well; sir;〃 said Joe。  〃I don't think!〃



〃Joe;〃 said Mr。 Lavender that crowd ought not to be at large。  They were

manifestly Huns。



〃The speakin's been a bit too much for you; sir;〃 said Joe。  〃But you've

got it off your chest; anyway。〃



Mr。 Lavender regarded him for a moment in silence; then putting his hand

to his throat; said hoarsely:



〃No; on my chest; I think; Joe。  All public speakers do。  It is

inseparable from that great calling。〃



〃'Alf a mo'!〃 grunted Joe; diving into the recesses beneath the driving…

seat。  〃'Ere; swig that off; sir。  〃



Mr。 Lavender raised the tumbler of fluid to his mouth; and drank it off;

only from the dregs left on his moustache did he perceive that it smelled

of rum and honey。



〃Joe;〃 he said reproachfully; 〃you have made me break my pledge。〃



Joe smiled。  〃Well; what are they for; sir?  You'll sleep at 'ome to…

night。〃



〃Never;〃 said Mr。 Lavender。  〃I shall sleep at High Barnet; I must

address them there tomorrow on abstinence during the war。〃



〃As you please; sir。  But try and 'ave a nap while we go along。〃  And

lifting Blink into the car; where she lay drenched and exhausted by

excitement; with the petal of a purple flower clinging to her black nose;

he mounted to his seat and drove off。  Mr。 Lavender; for years

unaccustomed to spirituous liquor; of which he had swallowed nearly half

a pint neat; passed rapidly into a state of coma。  Nor did he fully

regain consciousness till he awoke in bed the next morning。











IV



INTO THE DANGERS OF A PUBLIC LIFE



〃At what time is my meeting?〃 thought Mr。 Lavender vaguely; gazing at the

light filtering through the Venetian blind。  〃Blink!〃



His dog; who was lying beside his bed gnawing a bone which with some

presence of mind she had brought in; raised herself and regarded him with

the innocence of her species。  〃She has an air of divine madness;〃

thought Mr。 Lavender; which is very pleasing to me。  I have a terrible

headache。〃  And seeing a bellrope near his hand he pulled it。



A voice said: 〃Yes; sir。〃



〃I wish to see my; servant; Joe Petty;〃 said Lavender。  〃I shall not

require any breakfast thank you。  What is the population of High Barnet?〃



〃I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about; sir;〃 answered the

voice; which seemed to be that of his housekeeper; 〃but you can't see

Joe; he's gone out with a flea in his ear。  The idea of his letting you

get your feet wet like that!



〃How is this?〃 said Mr。 Lavender。  〃I thought you were the chambermaid of

the inn at High Barnet?〃



〃No; indeed;〃 said Mrs。 Petty soothingly; placing a thermometer in his

mouth。  〃Smoke that a minute; sir。  Oh! look at what this dog's brought

in!  Fie!〃  And taking the bone between thumb and finger she cast it out

of the window; while Blink; aware that she was considered in the wrong;

and convinced that she was in the right; spread out her left paw; laid

her head on her right paw; and pressed her chin hard against it。  Mrs。

Petty; returning from the window; stood above her master; who lay gazing

up with the thermometer jutting out through the middle of his moustache。



〃I thought so!〃 she said; removing it; 〃a hundred and one。  No getting up

for you; sir!  That Joe!〃



〃Mrs。 Petty;〃 said Mr。 Lavender rather feebly; for his head pained him

excessively; 〃bring me the morning papers。〃



〃No; sir。  The thermometer bursts at an an' ten。  I'll bring you the

doctor。〃



Mr。 Lavender was about to utter a protest when he reflected that all

public men had doctors。



〃About the bulletin?〃  he said faintly。



〃What?〃 ejaculated Mrs。 Petty; whose face seemed to Mr。 Lavender to have

become all cheekbones; eyes; and shadows。  Joe never said a about a

bullet。  Where? and however did you get it in?



〃I did not say 'bullet in';〃 murmured Mr。 Lavender closing his eyes! 〃I

said bulletin。  They have it。〃



At this mysterious sentence Mrs。 Petty lifted her hands; and muttering

the word 〃Ravin'!〃 hastened from the room。  No sooner had she gone;

however; than Blink; whose memory was perfect; rose; and going to the

window placed her forepaws on the sill。  Seeing her bone shining on the

lawn below; with that disregard of worldly consequence which she shared

with all fine characters; she leaped through。  The rattle of the Venetian

blind disturbed Mr。 Lavender from the lethargy to which he had reverted。

〃Mr。 John Lavender passed a good night;〃 he thought; 〃but his condition

is still critical。〃  And in his disordered imagination he seemed to see

people outside Tube stations; standing stock…still in the middle of the

traffic; reading that bulletin in the evening papers。  〃Let me see;〃 he

mused; 〃how will they run?  To…morrow I shall be better; but not yet able

to leave my bed; the day after to…morrow I shall have a slight relapse;

and my condition will still give cause for anxiety; on the day following…

…What is that noise。  For a sound like the whiffling of a wind through

dry sticks combined with the creaking of a saw had; impinged on his

senses。  It was succeeded by scratching。  〃Blink!〃 said Mr。 Lavender。

A heartrending whine came from outside the door。  Mr。 Lavender rose and

opened it。  His dog came in carrying her bone; and putting it down by the

bed divided her attention between it and her master's legs; revealed by

the nightshirt which; in deference to the great Disraeli; he had never

abandoned in favour of pyjamas。  Having achieved so erect a posture Mr。


Lavender; whose heated imagination had now carried him to the

convalescent stage of his indisposition; felt that a change of air would

do him good; and going to the window; leaned out above a lilac…tree。



〃Mr。 John Lavender〃 he murmured; 〃has gone to his seat to recuperate

before resuming his public duties。



While he stood there his attention was distracted by a tall young lady of

fine build and joyous colour; who was watering some sweet…peas in the

garden of the adjoining castle: Naturally delicate; Mr。 Lavender at once

sought a jacket; and; having put it on; resumed his position at the

window。  He had not watched her more than two minutes before he saw that

she was cultivating soil; and; filled with admiration; he leaned still

further out; and said:



〃My dear young madam; you are doing a great work。〃



Thus addressed; the young lady; who had those roving grey eyes which see

everything and betoken a large nature not devoid of merry genius; looked

up and smiled。



〃Believe me;〃 continued Mr。 L

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