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Mr。 Lavender passed his three days; therefore; in perfect repose; feeding

Blink; staring at the ceiling; and conversing with Joe。  An uneasy sense

that he had been lacking in restraint caused his mind to dwell on life as

seen by the monthly rather than the daily papers; and to hold with his

chauffeur discussions of a somewhat philosophical character。



〃As regards the government of this country; Joe;〃 he said; on the last

evening of his retirement; 〃who do you consider really rules?  For it is

largely on this that our future must depend。〃



〃Can't say; sir;〃 answered Joe; 〃unless it's Botty。〃



〃I do not know whom or what you signify by that word;〃 replied Mr。

Lavender; 〃I am wondering if it is the People who rule。〃



〃The People!〃 replied Joe;〃 the People's like a gent in a lunatic asylum;

allowed to 'ave instinks but not to express 'em。  One day it'll get aht;

and we shall all step lively。〃



〃It is; perhaps; Public Opinion;〃 continued Mr。 Lavender to himself; 〃as

expressed in the Press。〃



〃Not it;〃 said Joe the nearest opinion the Press gets to expressin' is

that of Mayors。  'Ave you never noticed; sir; that when the Press is 'ard

up for support of an opinion that the public don't 'old; they go to the

Mayors; and get 'em in two columns?〃



〃Mayors are most valuable public men;〃 said Mr。 Lavender。



〃I've nothin' against 'em;〃 replied Joe; 〃very average lot in their walk

of life; but they ain't the People。〃



Mr。 Lavender sighed。  〃What; then; is the People; Joe?〃



〃I am;〃 replied Joe; 〃I've got no opinions on anything except that I want

to live a quiet lifejust enough beer and 'baccy; short hours; and no

worry。〃



〃'If you compare that with the aspirations of Mayors you will see how

sordid such a standard is;〃 said Mr。 Lavender; gravely。



〃Sordid it may be; sir;〃 replied Joe; 〃but there's; a thing abaht it you

'aven't noticed。  I don't want to sacrifice nobody to satisfy my

aspirations。  Why?  Because I've got none。  That's priceless。  Take the

Press; take Parlyment; take Mayorsall mad on aspirations。  Now it's

Free Trade; now it's Imperialism; now it's Liberty in Europe; now it's

Slavery in Ireland; now it's sacrifice of the last man an' the last

dollar。  You never can tell what aspiration'll get 'em next。  And the

'ole point of an aspiration is the sacrifice of someone else。  Don't you

make a mistake; sir。  I defy you to make a public speech which 'asn't got

that at the bottom of it。〃



〃We are wandering from the point; Joe;〃 returned Mr。 Lavender。  〃Who is

it that governs; the country?〃



〃A Unseen Power;〃 replied Joe promptly。



〃How?〃



〃Well; sir; we're a democratic country; ain't we?  Parlyment's elected by

the People; and Gover'ment's elected by Parlyment。  All right so far; but

what 'appens?  Gover'ment says 'I'm going to do this。'  So long as it

meets with the approval of the Unseen Power; well an' good。  But what if

it don't?  The U。P。  gets busy; in an 'undred papers there begins to

appear what the U。P。  calls Public Opinion; that's to say the opinion of

the people that agree with the U。P。  There you 'ave it; sir; only them

and it appears strong。  Attacks on the Gover'ment policy; nasty things

said abaht members of it that's indiscreet enough to speak aht what; they

thinkGerman fathers; and other secret vices; an' what's more than all;

not a peep at any opinion that supports the Gover'ment。  Well; that goes

on day after day; playin' on the mind of Parlyment; if they've got any;

and gittin' on the Gover'ment's nerves; which they've got weak; till they

says: 'Look 'ere; it's no go; Public Opinion won't stand it。  We shall be

outed; and that'll never do; because there's no other set of fellows that

can save this country。'  Then they 'ave a meetin' and change their

policy。  And what they've never seen is that they've never seen Public

Opinion at all。  All they've seen is what the U。P。  let 'em。  Now if I

was the Gover'ment; I'd 'ave it out once for all with the U。 P。〃



〃Ah!〃 cried Mr。 Lavender; whose eyes were starting from his; head; so

profoundly was he agitated by what was to him a new thought。



〃Yes;〃 continued Joe; 〃if I was the Gover'ment; next time it 'appened;

I'd say: 'All right; old cock; do your damnedest。  I ain't responsible to

you。  Attack; suppress; and all the rest of it。  We're goin' to do what

we say; all the same!'  And then I'd do it。  And what'd come of it?

Either the U。P。 would go beyond the limits of the Lawand then I'd jump

on it; suppress its papers; and clap it into quodor it'd take it lyin'

down。  Whichever 'appened it'd be all up with the U。 P。  I'd a broke its

chain off my neck for good。  But I ain't the Gover'ment; an Gover'ment's

got tender feet。  I ask you; sir; wot's the good of havin' a

Constitooshion; and a the bother of electing these fellows; if they can't

act according to their judgment for the short term of their natural

lives?  The U。P。  may be patriotic and estimable; and 'ave the best

intentions and all that; but its outside the Constitooshion; and what's

more; I'm not goin' to spend my last blood an' my last money in a

democratic country to suit the tastes of any single man; or triumpherate;

or wotever it may be made of。  If the Government's uncertain wot the

country wants they can always ask it in the proper way; but they never

ought to take it on 'earsay from the papers。  That's wot I think。〃



While he was speaking Mr。 Lavender had become excited to the point of

fever; for; without intending it; Joe had laid bare to him a yawning

chasm between his worship of public men and his devotion to the Press。

And no sooner had his chauffeur finished than he cried: 〃Leave me; Joe;

for I must think this out。〃



〃Right; sir;〃 answered Joe with his smile; and taking the tea…tray from

off his master; he set it where it must infallibly be knocked over; and

went out。



〃Can it be possible;〃 thought Mr。 Lavender; when he was alone; 〃that I am

serving God and Mammon?  And which is God and which is Mammon?〃 he added;

letting his thoughts play over the countless speeches and leading

articles which had formed his spiritual diet since the war began。  〃Or;

indeed; are they not both God or both Mammon?  If what Joe says is true;

and nothing is recorded save what seems good to this Unseen Power; have I

not been listening to ghosts and shadows; and am I; indeed; myself

anything but the unsubstantial image of a public man?  For it is true

that I have no knowledge of anything save what is recorded in the

papers。〃  And perceiving that the very basis of his faith was endangered;

he threw off the bedclothes; and began to pace the room。  〃Are we; then;

all;〃 he thought; 〃being bounded like india…rubber balls by an unseen

hand; and is there no one of us strong enough to bounce into the eye of

our bounder and overthrow him?  My God; I am unhappy; for it is a

terrible thing not to know which my God is; and whether I am a public man

or an india…rubber ball。  〃And the more he thought the more dreadful it

seemed to him; now that he perceived that all those journals; pamphlets;

and reports with which his study walls were lined might not be the truth;

but merely authorized versions of it。



〃This;〃 he said aloud; 〃is a nightmare from which I must awaken or lose

all my power of action and my ability to help my country in its peril。〃



And sudden sweat broke out on his brow; for he perceived that he had now

no means of telling even whether there was a peril; so strangely had

Joe's words affected his powers of credulity。



〃But surely;〃 he thought; steadying himself by gripping his washstand;

〃there was; at least; a peril once。  And yet; how do I know even that;

for I have only been told so ; and the tellers themselves were only told

so by this Unseen Power ; and suppose it has made a mistake or has some

private ends to serve!  Oh! it is terrible; and there is no end to it。

〃And he shook the crockery in the spasms which followed the first

awakenings of these religious doubts。  〃Where; then; am I to go;〃 he

cried; 〃for knowledge of the truth?  For even books would seem dependent

on the good opinion of this Unseen Power; and would not reach my eyes

unless they were well spoken of by it。〃



And the more he thought the more it seemed to him that nothing could help

him but to look into the eyes of this Unseen Power; so that he might see

for himself whether it was the Angel of Truth or some Demon jumping on

the earth。  No sooner had this conviction entered his brain than he

perceived how in carrying out such an enterprise he would not only be

setting his own mind at rest; and re…establishing or abolishing his

faith; but would be doing the greatest service which he could render to

his country and to all public men。  〃Thus;〃 he thought; 〃shall I

cannonize my tourney; and serve Aurora; who is the dawn of truth and

beauty in the world。  I am not yet worthy; however; of this adventure;

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