the burning spear-第13节
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swallowed。 〃Look at me！〃 he cried to the three ；Germans； 〃look at me！
III'm going to be sick！〃 and putting down his plate； he rose and
staggered forward。 〃Joe；〃 he said in a dying voice； 〃feed these poor
men； feed them； make them drink； feed them！〃 And rushing headlong to the
edge of the grove； he returned what he had swallowedto the great
interest of Brink。 Then； waving away the approach of Joe； and consumed
with shame and remorse at his lack of heroism； he ran and hid himself in
a clump of hazel bushes； trying to slink into the earth。 〃No；〃 he
thought； 〃no； I am not for public life。 I have failed at the first test。
Was ever so squeamish an exhibition？ I have betrayed my country and the
honour of public life。 These Germans are now full of beer and pigeon…
pie。 What am I but a poltroon； unworthy to lace the shoes of the great
leaders of my land？ The sun has witnessed my disgrace。〃
How long he stayed there lying on his face he did not know before he
heard the voice of Joe saying； 〃Wot oh； sir！〃
〃Joe；〃 replied Mr。 Lavender faintly； 〃my body is here； but my spirit has
departed。〃
〃Ah！〃 said Joe； 〃a rum upsetthat there。 Swig this down； sir！〃 and he
held out to his master； a flask…cup filled with brandy。 Mr。 Lavender
swallowed it。
〃Have they gone？〃 he said； gasping。
〃They 'ave； sir；〃 replied Joe； 〃and not 'alf full neither。 Where did you
pick 'em up？〃
〃In a gravel…pit； 〃 said Mr。 Lavender。 〃I can never forgive myself for
this betrayal of my King and country。 I have fed three Germans。 Leave
me； for I am not fit to mingle with my fellows。〃
〃Well； I don't think；〃 said Joe。 〃Germans？〃
Gazing up into his face Mr。 Lavender read the unmistakable signs of
uncontrolled surprise。
〃Why do you look at me like that？〃 he said。
〃Germans？〃 repeated Joe； 〃what Germans？ Three blighters workin' on the
road； as English as you or me。 Wot are you talkin' about； sir？〃
〃What！〃 cried Mr。 Lavender do you tell me they were not Germans？〃
〃Well； their names was Tompkins； 'Obson； and Brown； and they 'adn't an
'aitch in their 'eads。〃
〃God be praised said Mr。 Lavender。 〃I am； then； still an English
gentleman。 Joe； I am very hungry； is there nothing left？ 〃
〃Nothin' whatever； sir；〃 replied Joe。
〃Then take me home；〃 said Mr。 Lavender； I care not； for my spirit has
come back to me。〃
So saying； he rose； and supported by Joe； made his way towards the car；
praising God in his heart that he had not disgraced his country。
IX
CONVERSES WITH A CONSCIENTIOUS OBJECTOR
〃Yes；〃 said Mr。 Lavender； when they had proceeded some twenty miles along
the road for home； 〃my hunger is excessive。 If we come across an hotel；
Joe； pull up。〃
〃Right…o； sir；〃 returned Joe。 〃'Otels； ain't what they were； but we'll
find something。 I've got your coupons。〃
Mr。 Lavender； who was seated beside his chauffeur on the driving…seat；
while Blink occupied in solitude the body of the car； was silent for a
minute； revolving a philosophic thought。
〃Do you find；〃 he said suddenly； 〃that compulsory sacrifice is doing you
good； Joe？〃
〃It's good for my thirst； sir；〃 replied Joe。 〃Never was so powerful
thirsty in me life as I've been since they watered beer。 There's just
'enough in it to tickle you。 That bottle o' Bass you would 'ave 'ad at
lunch is the last of the old stock at 'ome； sir； an' the sight of it fair
gave me the wind up。 To think those blighters 'ad it！ Wish I'd known
they was GermansI wouldn't 'ave weakened on it。〃
〃Do not； I beg；〃 said Mr。 Lavender； 〃remind me of that episode。 I
sometimes think；〃 he went on as dreamily as his hunger would permit；
〃that being forced to deprive oneself awakens one's worst passions； that
is； of course； speaking rather as a man than a public man。 What do you
think will happen； Joe； when we are no longer obliged to sacrifice
ourselves？
〃Do wot we've been doin all along sacrifice someone else；〃 said Joe
lightly。
〃Be serious； Joe；〃 said Mr。 Lavender。
〃Well；〃 returned Joe； 〃I don't know what'll 'appen to you； sir； but I
shall go on the bust permanent。〃
Mr。 Lavender sighed。 〃I do so wonder whether I shall； too；〃 he said。
Joe looked round at him； and a gleam of compassion twinkled in his
greenish eyes。 〃Don't you worry； sir；〃 he said； 〃it's a question of
constitootion。 A week'd sew you up。〃
〃A week！〃 said Mr。 Lavender with watering lips； 〃I trust I may not forget
myself so long as that。 Public men do not go 'on the bust；' Joe； as you
put it。〃
〃Be careful； sir！ I can't drive with one eye。〃
〃How can they； indeed？〃 went on Mr。 Lavender； 〃they are like athletes；
ever in training for their unending conflict with the national life。〃
〃Well；〃 answered Joe indulgently； 〃they 'as their own kind of
intoxication； toothat's true； and the fumes is permanent； they're
gassed all the time； and chloroformed the rest。
〃I don't know to what you allude； Joe；〃 said Mr。 Lavender severely。
〃'Aven't you never noticed； sir； that there's two worldsthe world as it
is； and the world as it seems to the public man？〃
〃That may be；〃 said Mr。 Lavender with some excitement。 〃But which is the
greater； which is the nobler； Joe？ And what does the other matter？
Surely that which flourishes in great minds； and by their utterances is
made plain。 Is it not better to live in a world where nobody shrinks
from being starved or killed so long as they can die for their kings and
countries； rather than in a world where people merely wish to live？〃
〃Ah！〃 said Joe； 〃we're all ready to die for our countries if we've got
to。 But we don't look on it； like the public speakers； as a picnic。
They're a bit too light…'earted。〃
〃Joe；〃 said Mr。 Lavender； covering his ears； and instantly uncovering
them again； 〃this is the most horrible blasphemy I have ever listened
to。〃
〃I can do better than that； sir；〃 answered Joe。 〃Shall I get on with
it？〃
〃Yes；〃 said Mr。 Lavender； clenching his hands； 〃a public man shrinks from
nothingnot even from the gibes of his enemies。〃
〃Well； wot abaht it； sir？ Look at the things they say； and at what
really is。 Mind you； I'm not speakin' particular of the public men in
this countryor any other country； I'm speakin' of the lot of 'em in
every country。 They're a sort of secret society； brought up on gas。 And
every now and then someone sets a match to it； and we get it in the neck。
Look 'ere； sir。 Dahn squats one on his backside an' writes something in
'igh words。 Up pops another and says something in 'igher； an' so they go
on poppin' up an' squattin' dahn till you get an atmosphere where you
can't breathe； and all the time all we want is to be let alone； and 'uman
kindness do the rest。 All these fellers 'ave got two weaknessesone's
ideas； and the other's their own importance。 They've got to be
conspicuous； and without ideas they can't； so it's a vicious circle。
When I see a man bein' conspicuous； I says to meself： 'Gawd 'elp us； we
shall want it！' And sooner or later we always do。 I'll tell you what's
the curse of the world； sir； it's the gift of expressin' what ain't your
real feeling。 AndLord！ what a lot of us 'ave got it！〃
〃Joe；〃 said Mr。 Lavender； whose eyes were almost starting from his head；
〃your words are the knell of poetry； philosophy； and proseespecially of
prose。 They are the grave of history； which； as you know； is made up of
the wars and intrigues which have originated in the brains of public men。
If your sordid views were true； how do you suppose for one minute that in
this great epic struggle we could be consoled by the thought that we are
'making history'？ Has there been a single utterance of any note which
has not poured the balm of those words into our ears？ Think how they
have sustained the widow and the orphan； and the wounded lying out in
agony under the stars。 'To make history；' 'to act out the great drama'
that thought； ever kept before us； has been our comfort and their stay。
And you would take it from us？ Shameshame！〃 repeated Mr。 Lavender。
You would destroy all glamour； and be the death of every principle。〃
〃Give me facts；〃 said Joe stubbornly； 〃an' you may 'ave my principles。
As to the other thing； I don't know what it is； but you may 'ave it； too。
And 'ere's another thing； sir： haven't you never noticed that when a
public man blows off and says something； it does 'im in？ No matter what
'appens afterwards； he's got to stick to it or look a fool。〃
〃I certainly have not；〃 said Mr。 Lavender。 I have never； or very seldom；
noticed that narrowness in public men； nor have I ever seen them 'looking
fools' as you rudely put it。〃
〃Where are your eyes； sir？〃 answered Joe； 〃where are your eyes？ I give
you my word it's one or the other； though I admit they've brought
camouflage to an 'igh art。 But； speaking soberly； sir； if that's
pos
