the story of an african farm-第61节

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dream　is　shadow？



He　fell　into　perfect　silence。　　And；　at　last；　as　he　walked　there　with　his

bent　head；　his　soul　passed　down　the　steps　of　contemplation　into　that　vast

land　where　there　is　always　peace；　that　land　where　the　soul；　gazing　long；

loses　all　consciousness　of　its　little　self；　and　almost　feels　its　hand　on

the　old　mystery　of　Universal　unity　that　surrounds　it。



〃No　death；　no　death；〃　he　muttered；　〃there　is　that　which　never　dieswhich

abides。　　It　is　but　the　individual　that　perishes；　the　whole　remains。　　It　is

the　organism　that　vanishes；　the　atoms　are　there。　　It　is　but　the　man　that

dies；　the　Universal　Whole　of　which　he　is　part　reworks　him　into　its　inmost

self。　　Ah；　what　matter　that　man's　day　be　short！that　the　sunrise　sees　him；

and　the　sunset　sees　his　grave；　that　of　which　he　is　but　the　breath　has

breathed　him　forth　and　drawn　him　back　again。　　That　abideswe　abide。〃



For　the　little　soul　that　cries　aloud　for　continued　personal　existence　for

itself　and　its　beloved；　there　is　no　help。　　For　the　soul　which　knows　itself

no　more　as　a　unit；　but　as　a　part　of　the　Universal　Unity　of　which　the

Beloved　also　is　a　part；　which　feels　within　itself　the　throb　of　the

Universal　Life；　for　that　soul　there　is　no　death。



〃Let　us　die；　beloved；　you　and　I；　that　we　may　pass　on　forever　through　the

Universal　Life！　　In　that　deep　world　of　contemplation　all　fierce　desires　die

out；　and　peace　comes　down。　　He；　Waldo；　as　he　walked　there；　saw　no　more　the

world　that　was　about　him；　cried　out　no　more　for　the　thing　that　he　had　lost。

His　soul　rested。　　Was　it　only　John；　think　you；　who　saw　the　heavens　open？　

The　dreamers　see　it　every　day。



Long　years　before　the　father　had　walked　in　the　little　cabin；　and　seen

choirs　of　angels；　and　a　prince　like　unto　men；　but　clothed　in　immortality。



The　son's　knowledge　was　not　as　the　father's；　therefore　the　dream　was　new…

tinted；　but　the　sweetness　was　all　there；　the　infinite　peace　that　men　find

not　in　the　little　cankered　kingdom　of　the　tangible。　　The　bars　of　the　real

are　set　close　about　us；　we　cannot　open　our　wings　but　they　are　struck

against　them；　and　drop　bleeding。　　But；　when　we　glide　between　the　bars　into

the　great　unknown　beyond；　we　may　sail　forever　in　the　glorious　blue；　seeing

nothing　but　our　own　shadows。



So　age　succeeds　age；　and　dream　succeeds　dream；　and　of　the　joy　of　the

dreamer　no　man　knoweth　but　he　who　dreameth。



Our　fathers　had　their　dream；　we　have　ours；　the　generation　that　follows　will

have　its　own。　　Without　dreams　and　phantoms　man　cannot　exist。





Chapter　2。XIV。　　Waldo　Goes　Out　to　Sit　in　the　Sunshine。



It　had　been　a　princely　day。　　The　long　morning　had　melted　slowly　into　a　rich

afternoon。　　Rains　had　covered　the　karoo　with　a　heavy　coat　of　green　that　hid

the　red　earth　everywhere。　　In　the　very　chinks　of　the　stone　walls　dark　green

leaves　hung　out；　and　beauty　and　growth　had　crept　even　into　the　beds　of　the

sandy　furrows　and　lined　them　with　weeds。　　On　the　broken　sod　walls　of　the

old　pigsty　chick…weeds　flourished；　and　ice…plants　lifted　heir　transparent

leaves。　　Waldo　was　at　work　in　the　wagon…house　again。　　He　was　making　a

kitchen　table　for　Em。　　As　the　long　curls　gathered　in　heaps　before　his

plane；　he　paused　for　an　instant　now　and　again　to　throw　one　down　to　a　small

naked　nigger；　who　had　crept　from　its　mother；　who　stood　churning　in　the

sunshine；　and　had　crawled　into　the　wagon…house。



From　time　to　time　the　little　animal　lifted　its　fat　hand　as　it　expected　a

fresh　shower　of　curls；　till　Doss；　jealous　of　his　master's　noticing　any

other　small　creature　but　himself；　would　catch　the　curl　in　his　mouth　and

roll　the　little　Kaffer　over　in　the　sawdust；　much　to　that　small　animal's

contentment。　　It　was　too　lazy　an　afternoon　to　be　really　ill…natured；　so

Doss　satisfied　himself　with　snapping　at　the　little　nigger's　fingers；　and

sitting　on　him　till　he　laughed。　　Waldo；　as　he　worked；　glanced　down　at　them

now　and　then；　and　smiled；　but　he　never　looked　out　across　the　plain。　　He　was

conscious　without　looking　of　that　broad　green　earth；　it　made　his　work

pleasant　to　him。　　Near　the　shadow　at　the　gable　the　mother　of　the　little

nigger　stood　churning。　　Slowly　she　raised　and　let　fall　the　stick　in　her

hands；　murmuring　to　herself　a　sleepy　chant　such　as　her　people　love；　it

sounded　like　the　humming　of　far…off　bees。



A　different　life　showed　itself　in　the　front　of　the　house；　where　Tant

Sannie's　cart　stood　ready　inspanned　and　the　Boer…woman　herself　sat　in　the

front　room　drinking　coffee。



She　had　come　to　visit　her　stepdaughter；　probably　for　the　last　time；　as　she

now　weighed　two　hundred　and　sixty　pounds；　and　was　not　easily　able　to　move。

On　a　chair　sat　her　mild　young　husband　nursing　the　babya　pudding…faced；

weak…eyed　child。



〃You　take　it　and　get　into　the　cart　with　it；〃　said　Tant　Sannie。　　〃What　do

you　want　here；　listening　to　our　woman's　talk？〃



The　young　man　arose；　and　meekly　went　out　with　the　baby。



〃I'm　very　glad　you　are　going　to　be　married；　my　child；〃　said　Tant　Sannie；　as

she　drained　the　last　drop　from　her　coffee　cup。　　〃I　wouldn't　say　so　while

that　boy　was　here；　it　would　make　him　too　conceited；　but　marriage　is　the

finest　thing　in　the　world。　　I've　been　at　it　three　times；　and　if　it　pleased

God　to　take　this　husband　from　me　I　should　have　another。　　There's　nothing

like　it；　my　child；　nothing。〃



〃Perhaps　it　might　not　suit　all　people；　at　all　times；　as　well　as　it　suits

you；　Tant　Sannie；〃　said　Em。　　There　was　a　little　shade　of　weariness　in　the

voice。



〃Not　suit　every　one！〃　said　Tant　Sannie。　　〃If　the　beloved　Redeemer　didn't

mean　men　to　have　wives　what　did　He　make　women　for？　　That's　what　I　say。　　If

a　woman's　old　enough　to　marry；　and　doesn't；　she's　sinning　against　the　Lord…

…it's　a　wanting　to　know　better　than　Him。　　What；　does　she　think　the　Lord

took　all　that　trouble　in　making　her　for　nothing？　　It's　evident　He　wants

babies；　otherwise　why　does　He　send　them？　　Not　that　I've　done　much　in　that

way　myself；〃　said　Tant　Sannie；　sorrowfully；　〃but　I've　done　my　best。〃



She　rose　with　some　difficulty　from　her　chair；　and　began　moving　slowly

toward　the　door。



〃It's　a　strange　thing；〃　she　said；　〃but　you　can't　love　a　man　till　you've　had

a　baby　by　him。　　Now　there's　that　boy　there；　when　we　were　first　married　if

he　only　sneezed　in　the　night　I　boxed　his　ears；　now　if　he　lets　his　pipe…ash

come　on　my　milk…cloths　I　don't　think　of　laying　a　finger　on　him。　　There's

nothing　like　being　married；〃　said　Tant　Sannie；　as　she　puffed　toward　the

door。　　〃If　a　woman's　got　a　baby　and　a　husband　she's　got　the　best　things　the

Lord　can　give　her；　if　only　the　baby　doesn't　have　convulsions。　　As　for　a

husband；　it's　very　much　the　same　who　one　has。　　Some　men　are　fat；　and　some

men　are　thin；　some　men　drink　brandy；　and　some　men　drink　gin；　but　it　all

comes　to　the　same　thing　in　the　end；　it's　all　one。　　A　man's　a　man；　you

know。〃



Here　they　came　upon　Gregory；　who　was　sitting　in　the　shade　before　the　house。

Tant　Sannie　shook　hands　with　him。



〃I'm　glad　you're　going　to　get　married；〃　she　said。　　〃I　hope　you'll　have　as

many　children　in　five　years　as　a　cow　has　calves；　and　more　too。　　I　think

I'll　just　go　and　have　a　look　at　your　soap…pot　before　I　start；〃　she　said；

turning　to　Em。　　〃Not　that　I　believe　in　this　new　plan　of　putting　soda　in　the

pot。　　If　the　dear　Father　had　meant　soda　to　be　put　into　soap　what　would　He

have　made　milk…bushes　for；　and　stuck　them　all　over　the　veld　as　thick　as

lambs　in　the　lambing　season？〃



She　waddled　off　after　Em　in　the　direction　of　the　built…in　soap…pot；　leaving

Gregory　as　they　found　him；　with　his　dead　pipe　lying　on　the　bench　beside

him；　and　his　blue　eyes　gazing　out　far　across　the　flat；　like　one　who　sits　on

the　seashore　watching　that　which　is　fading；　fading　from　him。



Against　his　breast　was　a　letter　found　in　the　desk　addressed　to　himself；　but

never　posted。　　It　held　only　four　words：　　〃You　must　marry　Em。〃　　He　wore　it

in　a　black　bag　round　his　neck。　　It　was　the　only　letter　she　had　ever　written

to　him。



〃You　see　if　the　sheep　don't　have　the　scab　this　year！〃　said　Tant　Sannie　as

she　waddled　after　Em。　　〃It's　with　all　these　new　inventions　that　the　wrath

of　God　must　fall　on　us。　　What　were　the　children　of　Israel　punished　for；　if

it　wasn't　for　making　a　golden　calf？　　I　may　have　my　sins；　but　I　do　remember

the　tenth　commandment：　　'Honour　thy　father　and　mother　that　it　may　be　well

with　thee；　and　that　thou　mayest　live　long　in　the　land　which　the　Lord　thy

God　giveth　thee！'　　It's　all　very　well　to　say　we　honour　them；　and　then　to　be

finding　out　things　that　they　never　knew；　and　doing　things　in　a　way　that

they　never　did　them！　　My　mother　boiled　soap　with　bushes；　and　I　will　boil

soap　with　bushes。　　If　the　wrath　of　God　is　to　fall　upon　this　land；〃　said

Tant　Sannie；　with　the　serenity　of　conscious　virtue；　〃it　shall　not　be

through　me。〃



〃Let　them　make　their　steam…wagons　and　their　fire…carriages；　let　them　go　on

as　though　the　dear　Lord　didn't　know　what　he　was　about　when　He　gave　horses

and　oxen　legsthe　destruction　of　the　Lord　w