the story of an african farm-第34节

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！





〃'They　never　loved　who　dreamed　that　they　loved　once；

　　And　who　saith；　'I　loved　once'？

　　Not　angels；　whose　deep　eyes　look　down　through　realms　of　light！'



〃Your　disconsolate　brother；　on　what　is；　in　all　probability；　the　last　and

distracted　night　of　his　life。



〃Gregory　Nazianzen　Rose。



〃P。S。Tell　mother　to　take　care　of　my　pearl　studs。　　I　left　them　in　the

wash…hand…stand　drawer。　　Don't　let　the　children　get　hold　of　them。



〃P。P。S。I　shall　take　this　letter　with　me　to　the　farm。　　If　I　turn　down　one

corner　you　may　know　I　have　been　accepted；　if　not；　you　may　know　it　is　all　up

with　your　heartbroken　brother；



G。N。R。〃



Gregory　having　finished　this　letter；　read　it　over　with　much　approval；　put

it　in　an　envelope；　addressed　it；　and　sat　contemplating　the　inkpot；　somewhat

relieved　in　mind。



The　evening　turned　out　chilly　and　very　windy　after　the　day's　heat。　　From

afar　off；　as　Gregory　neared　the　homestead　on　the　brown　pony；　he　could

distinguish　a　little　figure　in　a　little　red　cloak　at　the　door　of　the　cow…

kraal。　　Em　leaned　over　the　poles　that　barred　the　gate；　and　watched　the

frothing　milk　run　through　the　black　fingers　of　the　herdsman；　while　the

unwilling　cows　stood　with　tethered　heads　by　the　milking　poles。　　She　had

thrown　the　red　cloak　over　her　own　head；　and　held　it　under　her　chin　with　a

little　hand；　to　keep　from　her　ears　the　wind；　that　playfully　shook　it；　and

tossed　the　little　fringe　of　yellow　hair　into　her　eyes。



〃Is　it　not　too　cold　for　you　to　be　standing　here？〃　said　Gregory；　coming

softly　close　to　her。



〃Oh；　no；　it　is　so　nice。　　I　always　come　to　watch　the　milking。　　That　red　cow

with　the　short　horns　is　bringing　up　the　calf　of　the　white　cow　that　died。　

She　loves　it　sojust　as　if　it　were　her　own。　　It　is　so　nice　to　see　her　lick

its　little　ears。　　Just　look！〃



〃The　clouds　are　black。　　I　think　it　is　going　to　rain　tonight；〃　said　Gregory。



〃Yes；〃　answered　Em；　looking　up　as　well　as　she　could　for　the　little　yellow

fringe。



〃But　I'm　sure　you　must　be　cold；〃　said　Gregory；　and　put　his　hand　under　the

cloak；　and　found　there　a　small　fist　doubled　up；　soft；　and　very　warm。　　He

held　it　fast　in　his　hand。



〃Oh；　Em；　I　love　you　better　than　all　the　world　besides！　　Tell　me；　do　you

love　me　a　little？〃



〃Yes；　I　do；〃　said　Em；　hesitating；　and　trying　softly　to　free　her　hand。



〃Better　than　everything；　better　than　all　the　world；　darling？〃　he　asked；

bending　down　so　low　that　the　yellow　hair　was　blown　into　his　eyes。



〃I　don't　know；〃　said　Em；　gravely。　　〃I　do　love　you　very　much；　but　I　love　my

cousin　who　is　at　school；　and　Waldo；　very　much。　　You　see　I　have　known　them

so　long！〃



〃Oh；　Em；　do　not　talk　to　me　so　coldly！〃　Gregory　cried；　seizing　the　little

arm　that　rested　on　the　gate；　and　pressing　it　till　she　was　half　afraid。　　The

herdsman　had　moved　away　to　the　other　end　of　the　kraal　now；　and　the　cows；

busy　with　their　calves；　took　no　notice　of　the　little　human　farce。　　〃Em；　if

you　talk　so　to　me　I　will　go　mad！　　You　must　love　me；　love　me　better　than

all！　　You　must　give　yourself　to　me。　　I　have　loved　you　since　that　first

moment　when　I　saw　you　walking　by　the　stone　wall　with　the　jug　in　your　hands。　

You　were　made　for　me；　created　for　me！　　I　will　love　you　till　I　die！　　Oh；　Em；

do　not　be　so　cold；　so　cruel　to　me！〃



He　held　her　arm　so　tightly　that　her　fingers　relaxed　their　hold；　and　the

cloak　fluttered　down　on　to　the　ground；　and　the　wind　played　more　roughly

than　ever　with　the　little　yellow　head。



〃I　do　love　you　very　much；〃　she　said；　〃but　I　do　not　know　if　I　want　to　marry

you。　　I　love　you　better　than　Waldo；　but　I　can't　tell　if　I　love　you　better

than　Lyndall。　　If　you　would　let　me　wait　for　a　week　I　think　perhaps　I　could

tell　you。〃



Gregory　picked　up　the　cloak　and　wrapped　it　round　her。



〃If　you　could　but　love　me　as　I　love　you；〃　he　said；　〃but　no　woman　can　love

as　a　man　can。　　I　will　wait　till　Saturday。　　I　will　not　once　come　near　you

till　then。　　Good…bye！　　Oh；　Em；〃　he　said；　turning　again；　and　twining　his　arm

about　her；　and　kissing　her　surprised　little　mouth；　〃if　you　are　not　my　wife

I　cannot　live。　　I　have　never　loved　another　woman；　and　I　never　shall！

never；　never！〃



〃You　make　me　afraid；〃　said　Em。　　〃Come；　let　us　go；　and　I　will　fill　your

pail。〃



〃I　want　no　milk。　　Good…bye！　　You　will　not　see　me　again　till　Saturday。〃



Late　that　night；　when　every　one　else　had　gone　to　bed；　the　yellow…haired

little　woman　stood　alone　in　the　kitchen。　　She　had　come　to　fill　the　kettle

for　the　next　morning's　coffee；　and　now　stood　before　the　fire。　　The　warm

reflection　lit　the　grave　old…womanish　little　face；　that　was　so　unusually

thoughtful　this　evening。



〃Better　than　all　the　world；　better　than　everything；　he　loves　me　better　than

everything！〃　　She　said　the　words　aloud；　as　if　they　were　more　easy　to

believe　if　she　spoke　them　so。　　She　had　given　out　so　much　love　in　her　little

life；　and　had　got　none　of　it　back　with　interest。　　Now　one　said；　〃I　love　you

better　than　all　the　world。〃　　One　loved　her　better　than　she　loved　him。　　How

suddenly　rich　she　was。　　She　kept　clasping　and　unclasping　her　hands。　　So　a

beggar　feels　who　falls　asleep　on　the　pavement　wet　and　hungry；　and　who　wakes

in　a　palace…hall　with　servants　and　lights；　and　a　feast　before　him。　　Of

course　the　beggar's　is　only　a　dream；　and　he　wakes　from　it；　and　this　was

real。



Gregory　had　said　to　her；　〃I　will　love　you　as　long　as　I　live。〃　　She　said　the

words　over　and　over　to　herself　like　a　song。



〃I　will　send　for　him　tomorrow；　and　I　will　tell　him　how　I　love　him　back；〃

she　said。



But　Em　needed　not　to　send　for　him。　　Gregory　discovered　on　reaching　home

that　Jemima's　letter　was　still　in　his　pocket。　　And；　therefore；　much　as　he

disliked　the　appearance　of　vacillation　and　weakness；　he　was　obliged　to　be

at　the　farmhouse　before　sunrise　to　post　it。



〃If　I　see　her；〃　Gregory　said；　〃I　shall　only　bow　to　her。　　She　shall　see　that

I　am　a　man；　one　who　keeps　his　word。〃



As　to　Jemima's　letter；　he　had　turned　down　one　corner　of　the　page；　and　then

turned　it　back；　leaving　a　deep　crease。　　That　would　show　that　he　was　neither

accepted　nor　rejected；　but　that　matters　were　in　an　intermediate　condition。　

It　was　a　more　poetical　way　then　putting　it　in　plain　words。



Gregory　was　barely　in　time　with　his　letter；　for　Waldo　was　starting　when　he

reached　the　homestead；　and　Em　was　on　the　doorstep　to　see　him　off。　　When　he

had　given　the　letter；　and　Waldo　had　gone；　Gregory　bowed　stiffly　and

prepared　to　remount　his　own　pony；　but　somewhat　slowly。　　It　was　still　early；

none　of　the　servants　were　about。　　Em　came　up　close　to　him　and　put　her

little　hand　softly　on　his　arm　as　he　stood　by　his　horse。



〃I　do　love　you　best　of　all；〃　she　said。　　She　was　not　frightened　now；　however

much　he　kissed　her。　　〃I　wish　I　was　beautiful　and　nice；〃　she　added；　looking

up　into　his　eyes　as　he　held　her　against　his　breast。



〃My　darling；　to　me　you　are　more　beautiful　than　all　the　women　in　the　world；

dearer　to　me　than　everything　it　holds。　　If　you　were　in　hell　I　would　go

after　you　to　find　you　there！　　If　you　were　dead；　though　my　body　moved；　my

soul　would　be　under　the　ground　with　you。　　All　life　as　I　pass　with　you　in　my

arms　will　be　perfect　to　me。　　It　will　pass；　pass　like　a　ray　of　sunshine。〃



Em　thought　how　beautiful　and　grand　his　face　was　as　she　looked　up　into　it。

She　raised　her　hand　gently　and　put　it　on　his　forehead。



〃You　are　so　silent；　so　cold；　my　Em；〃　he　cried。　　〃Have　you　nothing　to　say　to

me？〃



A　little　shade　of　wonder　filled　her　eyes。



〃I　will　do　everything　you　tell　me；〃　she　said。



〃What　else　could　she　say？　　Her　idea　of　love　was　only　service。



〃Then；　my　own　precious　one；　promise　never　to　kiss　that　fellow　again。　　I

cannot　bear　that　you　should　love　any　one　but　me。　　You　must　not！　　I　will　not

have　it！　　If　every　relation　I　had　in　the　world　were　to　die　tomorrow；　I

would　be　quite　happy　if　I　still　only　had　you！　　My　darling；　my　love；　why　are

you　so　cold？　　Promise　me　not　to　love　him　any　more。　　If　you　asked　me　to　do

anything　for　you；　I　would　do　it；　though　it　cost　my　life。〃



Em　put　her　hand　very　gravely　round　his　neck。



〃I　will　never　kiss　him；〃　she　said；　〃and　I　will　try　not　to　love　any　one

else。　　But　I　do　not　know　if　I　will　be　able。〃



〃Oh；　my　darling；　I　think　of　you　all　night；　all　day。　　I　think　of　nothing

else；　love；　nothing　else；〃　he　said；　folding　his　arms　about　her。



Em　was　a　little　conscience　stricken；　even　that　morning　she　had　found　time

to　remember　that　in　six　months　her　cousin　would　come　back　from　school；　and

she　had　thought　to　remind　Waldo　of　the　lozenges　for　his　cough；　even　when

she　saw　Gregory　coming。



〃I　do　not　know　how　it　is；〃　she　said　humbly；　nestling　to　him；　〃but　I　cannot

love　you　so　much　as　you　love　me。　　Perhaps　it　is　because　I　am　only　a　woman；

but　I　do　love　you　as　much　as　I　can。〃



Now　the　Kaffer　maids　were　coming　from　the　huts。　　He　kissed　her　again；　eyes

and　mouth　and　hands；　and　left　her。



Tant　Sannie　was　well　satisfied　when　told　of　the　betrothment。　　Sh