jane eyre(简·爱)-第22节
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done; I stepped across the clean and quiet little street from the
shoemaker's to the post…office: it was kept by an old dame; who wore
horn spectacles on her nose; and black mittens on her hands。
'Are there any letters for J。 E。?' I asked。
She peered at me over her spectacles; and then she opened a
drawer and fumbled among its contents for a long time; so long that my
hopes began to falter。 At last; having held a document before her
glasses for nearly five minutes; she presented it across the
counter; accompanying the act by another inquisitive and mistrustful
glance… it was for J。 E。
'Is there only one?' I demanded。
'There are no more;' said she; and I put it in my pocket and turned
my face homeward: I could not open it then; rules obliged me to be
back by eight; and it was already half…past seven。
Various duties awaited me on my arrival: I had to sit with the
girls during their hour of study; then it was my turn to read prayers;
to see them to bed: afterwards I supped with the other teachers。
Even when we finally retired for the night; the inevitable Miss
Gryce was still my companion: we had only a short end of candle in our
candlestick; and I dreaded lest she should talk till it was all
burnt out; fortunately; however; the heavy supper she had eaten
produced a soporific effect: she was already snoring before I had
finished undressing。 There still remained an inch of candle: I now
took out my letter; the seal was an initial F。; I broke it; the
contents were brief。
Thursday; possesses the acquirements mentioned; and if she is in a
position to give satisfactory references as to character and
competency; a situation can be offered her where there is but one
pupil; a little girl; under ten years of age; and where the salary
is thirty pounds per annum。 J。 E。 is requested to send references;
name; address; and all particulars to the direction:…
I examined the document long: the writing was old…fashioned and
rather uncertain; like that of an elderly lady。 This circumstance
was satisfactory: a private fear had haunted me; that in thus acting
for myself; and by my own guidance; I ran the risk of getting into
some scrape; and; above all things; I wished the result of my
endeavours to be respectable; proper; en regle。 I now felt that an
elderly lady was no bad ingredient in the business I had on hand。 Mrs。
Fairfax! I saw her in a black gown and widow's cap; frigid; perhaps;
but not uncivil: a model of elderly English respectability。
Thornfield! that; doubtless; was the name of her house: a neat orderly
spot; I was sure; though I failed in my efforts to conceive a
recollections of the map of England; yes; I saw it; both the shire and
county where I now resided: that was a recommendation to me。 I
longed to go where there was life and movement: Millcote was a large
doubtless: so much the better; it would be a complete change at least。
Not that my fancy was much captivated by the idea of long chimneys and
clouds of smoke… 'but;' I argued; 'Thornfield will; probably; be a
good way from the town。'
Here the socket of the candle dropped; and the wick went out。
Next day new steps were to be taken; my plans could no longer be
confined to my own breast; I must impart them in order to achieve
their success。 Having sought and obtained an audience of the
superintendent during the noontide recreation; I told her I had a
prospect of getting a new situation where the salary would be double
what I now received (for at Lowood I only got L15 per annum); and
requested she would break the matter for me to Mr。 Brocklehurst; or
some of the committee; and ascertain whether they would permit me to
mention them as references。 She obligingly consented to act as
mediatrix in the matter。 The next day she laid the affair before Mr。
Brocklehurst; who said that Mrs。 Reed must be written to; as she was
my natural guardian。 A note was accordingly addressed to that lady;
who returned for answer; that 'I might do as I pleased: she had long
relinquished all interference in my affairs。' This note went the round
of the committee; and at last; after what appeared to me most
tedious delay; formal leave was given me to better my condition if I
could; and an assurance added; that as I had always conducted myself
well; both as teacher and pupil; at Lowood; a testimonial of character
and capacity; signed by the inspectors of that institution; should
forthwith be furnished me。
This testimonial I accordingly received in about a month; forwarded
a copy of it to Mrs。 Fairfax; and got that lady's reply; stating
that she was satisfied; and fixing that day fortnight as the period
for my assuming the post of governess in her house。
I now busied myself in preparations: the fortnight passed
rapidly。 I had not a very large wardrobe; though it was adequate to my
wants; and the last day sufficed to pack my trunk;… the same I had
brought with me eight years ago from Gateshead。
The box was corded; the card nailed on。 In half an hour the carrier
was to call for it to take it to Lowton; whither I myself was to
repair at an early hour the next morning to meet the coach。 I had
brushed my black stuff travelling…dress; prepared my bonnet; gloves;
and muff; sought in all my drawers to see that no article was left
behind; and now having nothing more to do; I sat down and tried to
rest。 I could not; though I had been on foot all day; I could not
now repose an instant; I was too much excited。 A phase of my life
was closing tonight; a new one opening to…morrow: impossible to
slumber in the interval; I must watch feverishly while the change
was being accomplished。
'Miss;' said a servant who met me in the lobby; where I was
wandering like a troubled spirit; 'a person below wishes to see you。'
'The carrier; no doubt;' I thought; and ran downstairs without
inquiry。 I was passing the back…parlour or teachers' sitting…room; the
door of which was half open; to go to the kitchen; when some one ran
out…
'It's her; I am sure!… I could have told her anywhere!' cried the
individual who stopped my progress and took my hand。
I looked: I saw a woman attired like a well…dressed servant;
matronly; yet still young; very good…looking; with black hair and
eyes; and lively complexion。
'Well; who is it?' she asked; in a voice and with a smile I half
recognised; 'you've not quite forgotten me; I think; Miss Jane?'
In another second I was embracing and kissing her rapturously:
'Bessie! Bessie! Bessie!' that was all I said; whereat she half
laughed; half cried; and we both went into the parlour。 By the fire
stood a little fellow of three years old; in plaid frock and trousers。
'That is my little boy;' said Bessie directly。
'Then you are married; Bessie?'
'Yes; nearly five years since to Robert Leaven; the coachman; and
I've a little girl besides Bobby there; that I've christened Jane。'
'And you don't live at Gateshead?'
'I live at the lodge: the old porter has left。'
'Well; and how do they all get on? Tell me everything about them;
Bessie: but sit down first; and; Bobby; come and sit on my knee;
will you?' but Bobby preferred sidling over to his mother。
'You're not grown so very tall; Miss Jane; nor so very stout;'
continued Mrs。 Leaven。 'I daresay they've not kept you too well at
school: Miss Reed is the head and shoulders taller than you are; and
Miss Georgiana would make two of you in breadth。'
'Georgiana is handsome; I suppose; Bessie?'
'Very。 She went up to London last winter with her mama; and there
everybody admired her; and a young lord fell in love with her: but his
relations were against the match; and… what do you think?… he and Miss
Georgiana made it up to run away; but they were found out and stopped。
It was Miss Reed that found them out: I believe she was envious; and
now she and her sister lead a cat and dog life together; they are
always quarrelling。'
'Well; and what of John Reed?'
'Oh; he is not doing so well as his mama could wish。 He went to
college; and he got… plucked; I think they call it: and then his
uncles wanted him to be a barrister; and study the law: but he is such
a dissipated young man; they will never make much of him; I think。'
'What does he look like?'
'He is very tall: some people call him a fine…looking young man;
but he has such thick lips。'
'And Mrs。 Reed?'
'Missis looks stout and well enough in the face; but I think
she's not quite easy in her mind: Mr。 John's conduct does not please
her… he spends a deal of money。'
'Did she send you here; Bessie?'
'No; indeed: but I have long wanted to see you; and when I heard
that there had been a letter from you; and that you were going to
another part of the country; I thought I'd just set off; and get a
look at you before you were quite out of my reach。'
'I am afraid you are disappointed in me; Bessie。' I said this
laughing: I perceived that Bessie's glance; though it expressed
regard; did in no shape denote admiration。
'No; Miss Jane; not exactly: you are genteel enough