jane eyre(简·爱)-第2节
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to beg； and not to live here with gentlemen's children like us； and
eat the same meals we do； and wear clothes at our mama's expense。 Now；
I'll teach you to rummage my bookshelves： for they are mine； all the
house belongs to me； or will do in a few years。 Go and stand by the
door； out of the way of the mirror and the windows。'
I did so； not at first aware what was his intention； but when I saw
him lift and poise the book and stand in act to hurl it； I
instinctively started aside with a cry of alarm： not soon enough；
however； the volume was flung； it hit me； and I fell； striking my head
against the door and cutting it。 The cut bled； the pain was sharp：
my terror had passed its climax； other feelings succeeded。
'Wicked and cruel boy！' I said。 'You are like a murderer… you are
like a slave…driver… you are like the Roman emperors！'
I had read Goldsmith's History of Rome； and had formed my opinion
of Nero； Caligula； etc。 Also I had drawn parallels in silence； which I
never thought thus to have declared aloud。
'What！ what！' he cried。 'Did she say that to me？ Did you hear
her； Eliza and Georgiana？ Won't I tell mama？ but first…'
He ran headlong at me： I felt him grasp my hair and my shoulder： he
had closed with a desperate thing。 I really saw in him a tyrant； a
murderer。 I felt a drop or two of blood from my head trickle down my
neck； and was sensible of somewhat pungent suffering： these sensations
for the time predominated over fear； and I received him in frantic
sort。 I don't very well know what I did with my hands； but he called
me 'Rat！ Rat！' and bellowed out aloud。 Aid was near him： Eliza and
Georgiana had run for Mrs。 Reed； who was gone upstairs： she now came
upon the scene； followed by Bessie and her maid Abbot。 We were parted：
I heard the words…
'Dear！ dear！ What a fury to fly at Master John！'
'Did ever anybody see such a picture of passion！'
Then Mrs。 Reed subjoined…
'Take her away to the red…room； and lock her in there。' Four
hands were immediately laid upon me； and I was borne upstairs。
CHAPTER II
I RESISTED all the way： a new thing for me； and a circumstance
which greatly strengthened the bad opinion Bessie and Miss Abbot
were disposed to entertain of me。 The fact is； I was a trifle beside
myself； or rather out of myself； as the French would say： I was
conscious that a moment's mutiny had already rendered me liable to
strange penalties； and； like any other rebel slave； I felt resolved；
in my desperation； to go all lengths。
'Hold her arms； Miss Abbot： she's like a mad cat。'
'For shame！ for shame！' cried the lady's…maid。 'What shocking
conduct； Miss Eyre； to strike a young gentleman； your benefactress's
son！ Your young master。'
'Master！ How is he my master？ Am I a servant？'
'No； you are less than a servant； for you do nothing for your keep。
There； sit down； and think over your wickedness。'
They had got me by this time into the apartment indicated by Mrs。
Reed； and had thrust me upon a stool： my impulse was to rise from it
like a spring； their two pair of hands arrested me instantly。
'If you don't sit still； you must be tied down；' said Bessie。 'Miss
Abbot； lend me your garters； she would break mine directly。'
Miss Abbot turned to divest a stout leg of the necessary
ligature。 This preparation for bonds； and the additional ignominy it
inferred； took a little of the excitement out of me。
'Don't take them off；' I cried； 'I will not stir。'
In guarantee whereof； I attached myself to my seat by my hands。
'Mind you don't；' said Bessie； and when she had ascertained that
I was really subsiding； she loosened her hold of me； then she and Miss
Abbot stood with folded arms； looking darkly and doubtfully on my
face； as incredulous of my sanity。
'She never did so before；' at last said Bessie； turning to the
Abigail。
'But it was always in her；' was the reply。 'I've told Missis
often my opinion about the child； and Missis agreed with me。 She's
an underhand little thing： I never saw a girl of her age with so
much cover。'
Bessie answered not； but ere long； addressing me； she said…
'You ought to be aware； Miss； that you are under obligations to
Mrs。 Reed： she keeps you： if she were to turn you off； you would
have to go to the poorhouse。'
I had nothing to say to these words： they were not new to me： my
very first recollections of existence included hints of the same kind。
This reproach of my dependence had become a vague sing…song in my ear：
very painful and crushing； but only half intelligible。 Miss Abbot
joined in…
'And you ought not to think yourself on an equality with the Misses
Reed and Master Reed； because Missis kindly allows you to be brought
up with them。 They will have a great deal of money； and you will
have none： it is your place to be humble； and to try to make
yourself agreeable to them。'
'What we tell you is for your good；' added Bessie； in no harsh
voice； 'you should try to be useful and pleasant； then； perhaps； you
would have a home here； but if you become passionate and rude；
Missis will send you away； I am sure。'
'Besides；' said Miss Abbot； 'God will punish her： He might strike
her dead in the midst of her tantrums； and then where would she go？
Come； Bessie； we will leave her： I wouldn't have her heart for
anything。 Say your prayers； Miss Eyre； when you are by yourself； for
if you don't repent； something bad might be permitted to come down the
chimney and fetch you away。'
They went； shutting the door； and locking it behind them。
The red…room was a square chamber； very seldom slept in； I might
say never； indeed； unless when a chance influx of visitors at
Gateshead Hall rendered it necessary to turn to account all the
accommodation it contained： yet it was one of the largest and
stateliest chambers in the mansion。 A bed supported on massive pillars
of mahogany； hung with curtains of deep red damask； stood out like a
tabernacle in the centre； the two large windows； with their blinds
always drawn down； were half shrouded in festoons and falls of similar
drapery； the carpet was red； the table at the foot of the bed was
covered with a crimson cloth； the walls were a soft fawn colour with a
blush of pink in it； the wardrobe； the toilet…table； the chairs were
of darkly polished old mahogany。 Out of these deep surrounding
shades rose high； and glared white； the piled…up mattresses and
pillows of the bed； spread with a snowy Marseilles counterpane。
Scarcely less prominent was an ample cushioned easy…chair near the
head of the bed； also white； with a footstool before it； and
looking； as I thought； like a pale throne。
This room was chill； because it seldom had a fire； it was silent；
because remote from the nursery and kitchen； solemn； because it was
known to be so seldom entered。 The housemaid alone came here on
Saturdays； to wipe from the mirrors and the furniture a week's quiet
dust： and Mrs。 Reed herself； at far intervals； visited it to review
the contents of a certain secret drawer in the wardrobe； where were
stored divers parchments； her jewel…casket； and a miniature of her
deceased husband； and in those last words lies the secret of the
red…room… the spell which kept it so lonely in spite of its grandeur。
Mr。 Reed had been dead nine years： it was in this chamber he
breathed his last； here he lay in state； hence his coffin was borne by
the undertaker's men； and； since that day； a sense of dreary
consecration had guarded it from frequent intrusion。
My seat； to which Bessie and the bitter Miss Abbot had left me
riveted； was a low ottoman near the marble chimney…piece； the bed rose
before me； to my right hand there was the high； dark wardrobe； with
subdued； broken reflections varying the gloss of its panels； to my
left were the muffled windows； a great looking…glass between them
repeated the vacant majesty of the bed and room。 I was not quite
sure whether they had locked the door； and when I dared move； I got up
and went to see。 Alas！ yes： no jail was ever more secure。 Returning； I
had to cross before the looking…glass； my fascinated glance
involuntarily explored the depth it revealed。 All looked colder and
darker in that visionary hollow than in reality： and the strange
little figure there gazing at me； with a white face and arms
specking the gloom； and glittering eyes of fear moving where all
else was still； had the effect of a real spirit： I thought it like one
of the tiny phantoms； half fairy； half imp； Bessie's evening stories
represented as coming out of lone； ferny dells in moors； and appearing
before the eyes of belated travellers。 I returned to my stool。
Superstition was with me at that moment； but it was not yet her
hour for complete victory： my blood was still warm； the mood of the
revolted slave was still bracing me with its bitter vigour； I had to
stem a rapid rush of retrospective thought before I quailed to the
dismal present。
All John Reed's violent tyrannies； all his sisters' proud
indifference； all his mother'
