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第99节

the garden of allah-第99节

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nomad children played; half…naked; at Cora before the tents; calling
shrilly to each other through the light silence that floated airily
away into the vast distances that breathed out the spirit of a pale
eternity。 Despite the heat there was an almost wintry romance in this
strange land of white sands and yellow radiance; an ethereal
melancholy that stole with the twilight noiselessly towards the tents。

As Androvsky approached Domini saw that he had lost the energy which
had delighted her at /dejeuner/。 He walked towards her slowly with his
head bent down。 His face was grave; even sad; though when he saw her
waiting for him he smiled。

〃You have been all this time with the priest?〃 she said。

〃Nearly all。 I walked for a little while in the city。 And you?〃

〃I rode out and met a friend。〃

〃A friend?〃 he said; as if startled。

〃Yes; from Beni…MoraCount Anteoni。 He has been here to pay me a
visit。〃

She pulled forward a basket…chair for him。 He sank into it heavily。

〃Count Anteoni here!〃 he said slowly。 〃What is he doing here?〃

〃He is with the marabout at Beni…Hassan。 And; Boris; he has become a
Mohammedan。〃

He lifted his head with a jerk and stared at her in silence。

〃You are surprised?〃

〃A MohammedanCount Anteoni?〃

〃Yes。 Do you know; when he told me I felt almost as if I had been
expecting it。〃

〃Butis he changed then? Is he〃

He stopped。 His voice had sounded to her bitter; almost fierce。

〃Yes; Boris; he is changed。 Have you ever seen anyone who was lost;
and the same person walking along the road home? Well; that is Count
Anteoni。〃

They said no more for some minutes。 Androvsky was the first to speak
again。

〃You told him?〃 he asked。

〃About ourselves?〃

〃Yes。〃

〃I told him。〃

〃What did he say?〃

〃He had expected it。 When we ask him he is coming here again to see us
both together。〃

Androvsky got up from his chair。 His face was troubled。 Standing
before Domini; he said:

〃Count Anteoni is happy then; now that henow that he has joined this
religion?〃

〃Very happy。〃

〃And youa Catholicwhat do you think?〃

〃I think that; since that is his honest belief; it is a blessed thing
for him。〃

He said no more; but went towards the sleeping…tent。

In the evening; when they were dining; he said to her:

〃Domini; to…night I am going to leave you again for a short time。〃

He saw a look of keen regret come into her face; and added quickly:

〃At nine I have promised to go to see the priest。 Hehe is rather
lonely here。 He wants me to come。 Do you mind?〃

〃No; no。 I am gladvery glad。 Have you finished?〃

〃Quite。〃

〃Let us take a rug and go out a little way in the sandthat way
towards the cemetery。 It is quiet there at night。〃

〃Yes。 I will get a rug。〃 He went to fetch it; threw it over his arm;
and they set out together。 She had meant the Arab cemetery; but when
they reached it they found two or three nomads wandering there。

〃Let us go on;〃 she said。

They went on; and came to the French cemetery; which was surrounded by
a rough hedge of brushwood; in which there were gaps here and there。
Through one of these gaps they entered it; spread out the rug; and lay
down on the sand。 The night was still and silence brooded here。
Faintly they saw the graves of the exiles who had died here and been
given to the sand; where in summer vipers glided to and fro; and the
pariah dogs wandered stealthily; seeking food to still the desires in
their starving bodies。 They were mostly very simple; but close to
Domini and Androvsky was one of white marble; in the form of a broken
column; hung with wreaths of everlasting flowers; and engraved with
these words:

     ICI REPOSE

JEAN BAPTISTE FABRIANI

   /Priez pour lui/。

When they lay down they both looked at this grave; as if moved by a
simultaneous impulse; and read the words。

〃Priez pour lui!〃 Domini said in a low voice。

She put out her hand and took hold of her husband's; and pressed it
down on the sand。

〃Do you remember that first night; Boris;〃 she said; 〃at Arba; when
you took my hand in yours and laid it against the desert as against a
heart?〃

〃Yes; Domini; I remember。〃

〃That night we were one; weren't we?〃

〃Yes; Domini。〃

〃Were we〃she was almost whispering in the night〃were we truly
one?〃

〃Why do youtruly one; you say?〃

〃Yesone in soul? That is the great union; greater than the union of
our bodies。 Were we one in soul? Are we now?〃

〃Domini; why do you ask me such questions? Do you doubt my love?〃

〃No。 But I do ask you。 Won't you answer me?〃

He was silent。 His hand lay in hers; but did not press it。

〃Boris〃she spoke the cruel words very quietly;〃we are not truly
one in soul。 We have never been。 I know that。〃

He said nothing。

〃Shall we ever be? Thinkif one of us were to die; and the otherthe
one who was leftwere left with the knowledge that in our love; even
ours; there had always been separationcould you bear that? Could I
bear it?〃

〃Domini〃

〃Yes。〃

〃Why do you speak like this? We are one。 You have all my love。 You are
everything to me。〃

〃And yet you are sad; and you try to hide your sadness; your misery;
from me。 Can you not give it me? I want itmore than I want anything
on earth。 I want it; I must have it; and I dare to ask for it because
I know how deeply you love me and that you could never love another。〃

〃I never have loved another;〃 he said。

〃I was the very first。〃

〃The very first。 When we married; although I was a man I was as you
were。〃

She bent down her head and laid her lips on his hand that was in hers。

〃Then make our union perfect; as no other union on earth has ever
been。 Give me your sorrow; Boris。 I know what it is。〃

〃How canyou cannot know;〃 he said in a broken voice。

〃Yes。 Love is a diviner; the only true diviner。 I told you once what
it was; but I want you to tell me。 Nothing that we take is beautiful
to us; only what we are given。〃

〃I cannot;〃 he said。

He tried to take his hand from hers; but she held it fast。 And she
felt as if she were holding the wall of fire with which he surrounded
the secret places of his soul。

〃To…day; Boris; when I talked to Count Anteoni; I felt that I had been
a coward with you。 I had seen you suffer and I had not dared to draw
near to your suffering。 I have been afraid of you。 Think of that。〃

〃No。〃

〃Yes; I have been afraid of you; of your reserve。 When you withdrew
from me I never followed you。 If I had; perhaps I could have done
something for you。〃

〃Domini; do not speak like this。 Our love is happy。 Leave it as it
is。〃

〃I can't。 I will not。 Boris; Count Anteoni has found a home。 But you
are wandering。 I can't bear that; I can't bear it。 It is as if I were
sitting in the house; warm; safe; and you were out in the storm。 It
tortures me。 It almost makes me hate my own safety。〃

Androvsky shivered。 He took his hand forcibly from Domini's。

〃I have almost hated it; too;〃 he said passionately。 〃I have hated it。
I'm aI'm〃

His voice failed。 He bent forward and took Domini's face between his
hands。

〃And yet there are times when I can bless what I have hated。 I do
bless it now。 II love your safety。 Youat least you are safe。〃

〃You must share it。 I will make you share it。〃

〃You cannot。〃

〃I can。 I shall。 I feel that we shall be together in soul; and perhaps
to…night; perhaps even to…night。〃

Androvsky looked profoundly agitated。 His hands dropped down。

〃I must go;〃 he said。 〃I must go to the priest。〃

He got up from the sand。

〃Come to the tent; Domini。〃

She rose to her feet。

〃When you come back;〃 she said; 〃I shall be waiting for you; Boris。〃

He looked at her。 There was in his eyes a piercing wistfulness。 He
opened his lips。 At that moment Domini felt that he was on the point
of telling her all that she longed to know。 But the look faded。 The
lips closed。 He took her in his arms and kissed her almost
desperately。

〃No; no;〃 he said。 〃I'll keep your loveI'll keep it。〃

〃You could never lose it。〃

〃I might。〃

〃Never。〃

〃If I believed that。〃

〃Boris!〃

Suddenly burning tears rushed from her eyes。

〃Don't ever say a thing like that to me again!〃 she said with passion。

She pointed to the grave close to them。

〃If you were there;〃 she said; 〃and I was living; and you had died
beforebefore you had told meI believeGod forgive me; but I do
believe that if; when you died; I were taken to heaven I should find
my hell there。〃

She looked through her tears at the words: 〃Priez pour lui。〃

〃To pray for the dead;〃 she whispered; as if to herself。 〃To pray for
my deadI could not do itI could not。 Boris; if you love me you
must trust me; you must give me your sorrow。〃

The night drew on。 Androvsky had gone to the priest。 Domini was alone;
sitting before the tent waiting for his return。 She had told Batouch
and Ouardi that she wanted nothing more; that no one was to come to
the tent again that night。 The young moon was rising over the city;
but its light as yet was faint。 It fell upon the cupolas of the Bureau
Arabe; the towers of the mosque and the white sands; whose whiteness
it seemed to emphasise; making them pale as the face of one terror…
stricken。 The city wall cas

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