the garden of allah-第81节
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that suggests tragedy； islets that looked desolate； and as if no life
had ever been upon them； or could be。 Back from the snowy plains
stretched sand dunes of the palest primrose colour； sand dunes
innumerable； myriads and myriads of them； rising and falling； rising
and falling； till they were lost in the grey distance of this silent
world。 In the foreground； at their horses' feet； wound from the hill
summit a broad track faintly marked in the deep sand； and flanked by
huge dunes shaped； by the action of the winds； into grotesque
semblances of monsters； leviathans； beasts with prodigious humps；
sphinxes； whales。 This track was presently lost in the blanched
plains。 Far away； immeasurably far； sea and snow blended and faded
into the cloudy grey。 Above the near dunes two desert eagles were
slowly wheeling in a weary flight； occasionally sinking towards the
sand； then rising again towards the clouds。 And the track was strewn
with the bleached bones of camels that had perished； or that had been
slaughtered； on some long desert march。
To the left of them the solitary tower commanded this terrific vision
of desolation； seemed to watch it steadily； yet furtively； with its
tiny loophole eyes。
〃We have come into winter；〃 Domini murmured。
She looked at the white of the camels' bones； of the plains； at the
grey white of the sky； at the yellow pallor of the dunes。
〃How wonderful！ How terrible！〃 she said。
She drew her horse to one side； a little nearer to Androvsky's。
〃Does the Russian in you greet this land？〃 she asked him。
He did not reply。 He seemed to be held in thrall by the sad immensity
before them。
〃I realise here what it must be to die in the desert； to be killed by
itby hunger； by thirst in it；〃 she said presently； speaking； as if
to herself； and looking out over the mirage sea； the mirage snow。
〃This is the first time I have really felt the terror of the desert。〃
Her horse drooped its head till its nose nearly touched the earth； and
shook itself in a long shiver。 She shivered too； as if constrained to
echo an animal's distress。
〃Things have died here；〃 Androvsky said； speaking at last in a low
voice and pointing with his long…lashed whip towards the camels'
skeletons。 〃Come； Domini； the horses are tired。〃
He cast another glance at the tower； and they dismounted by their
tent； which was pitched at the very edge of the steep slope that sank
down to the beast…like shapes of the near dunes。
An hour later Domini said to Androvsky：
〃You won't go after gazelle this evening surely？〃
They had been having coffee in the tent and had just finished。
Androvsky got up from his chair and went to the tent door。 The grey of
the sky was pierced by a gleaming shaft from the sun。
〃Do you mind if I go？〃 he said； turning towards her after a glance to
the desert。
〃No； but aren't you tired？〃
He shook his head。
〃I couldn't ride； and now I can ride。 I couldn't shoot； and I'm just
beginning〃
〃Go；〃 she said quickly。 〃Besides； we want gazelle for dinner； Batouch
says； though I don't suppose we should starve without it。〃 She came to
the tent door and stood beside him； and he put his arm around her。
〃If I were alone here； Boris；〃 she said； leaning against his shoulder；
〃I believe I should feel horribly sad to…day。〃
〃Shall I stay？〃
He pressed her against him。
〃No。 I shall know you are coming back。 Oh； how extraordinary it is to
think we lived so many years without knowing of each other's
existence； that we lived alone。 Were you ever happy？〃
He hesitated before he replied。
〃I sometimes thought I was。〃
〃But do you think now you ever really were？〃
〃I don't knowperhaps in a lonely sort of way。〃
〃You can never be happy in that way now？〃
He said nothing； but； after a moment； he kissed her long and hard； and
as if he wanted to draw her being into his through the door of his
lips。
〃Good…bye；〃 he said； releasing her。 〃I shall be back directly after
sundown。〃
〃Yes。 Don't wait for the dark down there。 If you were lost in the
dunes！〃
She pointed to the distant sand hills rising and falling monotonously
to the horizon。
〃If you are not back in good time；〃 she said； 〃I shall stand by the
tower and wave a brand from the fire。〃
〃Why by the tower？〃
〃The ground is highest by the tower。〃
She watched him ride away on a mule； with two Arabs carrying guns。
They went towards the plains of saltpetre that looked like snow beside
the sea that was only a mirage。 Then she turned back into the tent；
took up a volume of Fromentin's； and sat down in a folding…chair at
the tent door。 She read a little； but it was difficult to read with
the mirage beneath her。 Perpetually her eyes were attracted from the
book to its mystery and plaintive sadness； that was like the sadness
of something unearthly； of a spirit that did not move but that
suffered。 She did not put away the book； but presently she laid it
down on her knees； open； and sat gazing。 Androvsky had disappeared
with the Arabs into some fold of the sands。 The sun…ray had vanished
with him。 Without Androvsky and the sunshe still connected them
together； and knew she would for ever。
The melancholy of this desert scene was increased for her till it
became oppressive and lay upon her like a heavy weight。 She was not a
woman inclined to any morbid imaginings。 Indeed； all that was morbid
roused in her an instinctive disgust。 But the sudden greyness of the
weather； coming after weeks of ardent sunshine； and combined with the
fantastic desolation of the landscape； which was half real and half
unreal； turned her for the moment towards a dreariness of spirit that
was rare in her。
She realised suddenly； as she looked and did not see Androvsky even as
a black and moving speck upon the plain； what the desert would seem to
her without him； even in sunshine； the awfulness of the desolation of
it； the horror of its distances。 And realising this she also realised
the uncertainty of the human life in connection with any other human
life。 To be dependent on another is to double the sum of the terrors
of uncertainty。 She had done that。
If the immeasurable sands took Androvsky and never gave him back to
her！ What would she do？
She gazed at the mirage sea with its dim red islands； and at the sad
white plains along its edge。
Wintershe would be plunged in eternal winter。 And each human life
hangs on a thread。 All deep love； all consuming passion； holds a great
fear within the circle of a great glory。 To…day the fear within the
circle of her glory seemed to grow。 But she suddenly realised that she
ought to dominate it； to confine itas it wereto its original and
permanent proportions。
She got up； came out upon the edge of the hill； and walked along it
slowly towards the tower。
Outside； freed from the shadow of the tent； she felt less oppressed；
though still melancholy； and even slightly apprehensive； as if some
trouble were coming to her and were near at hand。 Mentally she had
made the tower the limit of her walk； and therefore when she reached
it she stood still。
It was a squat； square tower； strongly constructed； with loopholes in
the four sides； and now that she was by it she saw built out at the
back of it a low house with small shuttered windows and a narrow
courtyard for mules。 No doubt Androvsky was right and French soldiers
had once been here to work the optic telegraph。 She thought of the
recruits and of Marseilles； of Notre Dame de la Garde； the Mother of
God； looking towards Africa。 Such recruits came to live in such
strange houses as this tower lost in the desert and now abandoned。 She
glanced at the shuttered windows and turned back towards the tent； but
something in the situation of the towerperhaps the fact that it was
set on the highest point of the groundattracted her； and she
presently made Batouch bring her out some rugs and ensconced herself
under its shadow； facing the mirage sea。
How long she sat there she did not know。 Mirage hypnotises the
imaginative and suggests to them dreams strange and ethereal； sad
sometimes； as itself。 How long she might have sat there dreaming； but
for an interruption； she knew still less。 It was towards evening；
however； but before evening had fallen； that a weary and travel…
stained party of three French soldiers； Zouaves； and an officer rode
slowly up the sandy track from the dunes。 They were mounted on mules；
and carried their small baggage with them on two led mules。 When they
reached the top of the hill they turned to the right and came towards
the tower。 The officer was a little in advance of his men。 He was a
smart…looking； fair man of perhaps thirty…two； with blonde moustaches；
blue eyes with blonde lashes； and hair very much the colour of the
sand dunes。 His face was bright red； burnt； as a fair delicate skin
burns； by the sun。 His eyes； although protected by large sun
spectacles； were inflamed。 The skin was peeling from his nose。 His
hair was full of sand； and he rode leaning forward over his animal's
neck； holding the reins loosely in his hands； that seemed nerveless
from fatigue。 Yet he looked smart and well…bred despite his evident
exhaustion； as if on parade he would be a das
