the garden of allah-第67节
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and anger faded from his eyes; which were filled with an expression of
profound wonder; then of flickering uncertainty; then of hard; manly
resolutiona fighting expression that was full of sex and passion。
The guilty; furtive look which had been stamped upon all his features;
specially upon his lips; vanished。 Suddenly he became younger in
appearance。 His figure straightened itself。 His hands ceased from
trembling。 He moved away from the trees; and went to the doorway of
the /fumoir/。
Domini looked up; saw him; and got up quietly; clasping her fingers
round the little book。
Androvsky stood just beyond the doorway; took off his hat; kept it in
his hand; and said:
〃I came here to say good…bye。〃
He made a movement as if to come into the /fumoir/; but she stopped it
by coming at once to the opening。 She felt that she could not speak to
him enclosed within walls; under a roof。 He drew back; and she came
out and stood beside him on the sand。
〃Did you know I should come?〃 he said。
She noticed that he had ceased to call her 〃Madame;〃 and also that
there was in his voice a sound she had not heard in it before; a note
of new self…possession that suggested a spirit concentrating itself
and aware of its own strength to act。
〃No;〃 she answered。
〃Were you coming back to the hotel this morning?〃 he asked。
〃No。〃
He was silent for a moment。 Then he said slowly:
〃Thenthen you did not wishyou did not mean to see me again before
I went?〃
〃It was not that。 I came to the gardenI had to comeI had to be
alone。〃
〃You want to be alone?〃 he said。 〃You want to be alone?〃
Already the strength was dying out of his voice and face; and the old
uneasiness was waking up in him。 A dreadful expression of pain came
into his eyes。
〃Was that why youyou looked so happy?〃 he said in a harsh; trembling
voice。
〃When?〃
〃I stood for a long while looking at you when you were in there〃he
pointed to the /fumoir/〃and your face was happyyour face was
happy。〃
〃Yes; I know。〃
〃You will be happy alone?alone in the desert?〃
When he said that she felt suddenly the agony of the waterless spaces;
the agony of the unpeopled wastes。 Her whole spirit shrank and
quivered; all the great joy of her love died within her。 A moment
before she had stood upon the heights of her heart。 Now she shrank
into its deepest; blackest abysses。 She looked at him and said
nothing。
〃You will not be happy alone。〃
His voice no longer trembled。 He caught hold of her left hand;
awkwardly; nervously; but held it strongly with his close to his side;
and went on speaking。
〃Nobody is happy alone。 Nothing ismen and womenchildrenanimals。〃
A bird flew across the shadowy space under the trees; followed by
another bird; he pointed to them; they disappeared。 〃The birds; too;
they must have companionship。 Everything wants a companion。〃
〃Yes。〃
〃But thenyou will stay here alone in the desert?〃
〃What else can I do?〃 she said。
〃And that journey;〃 he went on; still holding her hand fast against
his side; 〃Your journey into the desertyou will take it alone?〃
〃What else can I do?〃 she repeated in a lower voice。
It seemed to her that he was deliberately pressing her down into the
uttermost darkness。
〃You will not go。〃
〃Yes; I shall go。〃
She spoke with conviction。 Even in that momentmost of all in that
momentshe knew that she would obey the summons of the desert。
〃II shall never know the desert;〃 he said。 〃I thoughtit seemed to
me that I; too; should go out into it。 I have wanted to go。 You have
made me want to go。〃
〃I?〃
〃Yes。 Once you said to me that peace must dwell out there。 It was on
the tower thethe first time you ever spoke to me。〃
〃I remember。〃
〃I wonderedI often wonder why you spoke to me。〃
She knew he was looking at her with intensity; but she kept her eyes
on the sand。 There was something in them that she felt he must not
see; a light that had just come into them as she realised that
already; on the tower before she even knew him; she had loved him。 It
was that love; already born in her heart but as yet unconscious of its
own existence; which had so strangely increased for her the magic of
the African evening when she watched it with him。 But beforesuddenly
she knew that she had loved Androvsky from the beginning; from the
moment when his face looked at her as if out of the heart of the sun。
That was why her entry into the desert had been full of such
extraordinary significance。 This man and the desert were; had always
been; as one in her mind。 Never had she thought of the one without the
other。 Never had she been mysteriously called by the desert without
hearing as a far…off echo the voice of Androvsky; or been drawn onward
by the mystical summons of the blue distances without being drawn
onward; too; by the mystical summons of the heart to which her own
responded。 The link between the man and the desert was indissoluble。
She could not conceive of its being severed; and as she realised this;
she realised also something that turned her whole nature into flame。
She could not conceive of Androvsky's not loving her; of his not
having loved her from the moment when he saw her in the sun。 To him;
too; the desert had made a revelationthe revelation of her face; and
of the soul behind it looking through it。 In the flames of the sun; as
they went into the desert; the flames of their two spirits had been
blended。 She knew that certainly and for ever。 Then how could it be
possible that Androvsky should not go out with her into the desert?
〃Why did you speak to me?〃 he said。
〃We came into the desert together;〃 she answered simply。 〃We had to
know each other。〃
〃And nownowwe have to say〃
His voice ceased。 Far away there was the thin sound of a chime。 Domini
had never before heard the church bell in the garden; and now she felt
as if she heard it; not with her ears; but with her spirit。 As she
heard she felt Androvsky's hand; which had been hot upon hers; turn
cold。 He let her hand go; and again she was stricken by the horrible
sound she had heard the previous night in the desert; when he turned
his horse and rode away with her。 And now; as then; he turned away
from her in silence; but she knew that this time he was leaving her;
that this movement was his final good…bye。 With his head bowed down he
took a few steps。 He was near to a turning of the path。 She watched
him; knowing that within less than a moment she would be watching only
the trees and the sand。 She gazed at the bent figure; calling up all
her faculties; crying out to herself passionately; desperately;
〃Remember itremember it as it istherebefore youjust as it is
for ever。〃 As it reached the turning; in the distance of the garden
rose the twitter of the flute of Larbi。 Androvsky stopped; stood still
with his back turned towards her。 And Larbi; hidden and far off;
showered out his little notes of African love; of love in the desert
where the sun is everlasting; and the passion of man is hot as the
sun; where Liberty reigns; lifting her cymbals that are as spheres of
fire; and the footsteps of Freedom are heard upon the sand; treading
towards the south。
Larbi playedplayed on and on; untiring as the love that blossomed
with the world; but that will not die when the world dies。
Then Androvsky came back quickly till he reached the place where
Domini was standing。 He put his hands on her shoulders。 Then he sank
down on the sand; letting his hands slip down over her breast and
along her whole body till they clasped themselves round her knees。 He
pressed his face into her dress against her knees。
〃I love you;〃 he said。 〃I love you but don't listen to meyou mustn't
hear ityou mustn't。 But I must say it。 I can'tI can't go till I
say it。 I love youI love you。〃
She heard him sobbing against her knees; and the sound was as the
sound of strength made audible。 She put her hands against his temples。
〃I am listening;〃 she said。 〃I must hear it。〃
He looked up; rose to his feet; put his hands behind her shoulders;
held her; and set his lips on hers; pressing his whole body against
hers。
〃Hear it!〃 he said; muttering against her lips。 〃Hear it。 I love you
I love you。〃
The two birds they had seen flew back beneath the trees; turned in an
airy circle; rose above the trees into the blue sky; and; side by
side; winged their way out of the garden to the desert。
BOOK IV。 THE JOURNEY
CHAPTER XVI
In the evening before the day of Domini's marriage with Androvsky
there was a strange sunset; which attracted even the attention and
roused the comment of the Arabs。 The day had been calm and beautiful;
one of the most lovely days of the North African spring; and Batouch;
resting from the triumphant labour of superintending the final
preparations for a long desert journey; augured a morning of Paradise
for the departure along the straight road that led at last to
Tombouctou。 But as the radiant afternoon drew to its end there came
into the blue sky a whiteness that suggested a heaven turning pale in
the contemplation of some act that was piteous and terrible。 And under
this blanching heaven the desert; and all things and people of the
oasis of