the garden of allah-第42节

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Ten　days　had　passed　since　the　ride　to　Sidi…Zerzourdays　rather　like　a
dream　to　Domini。

What　she　had　sought　in　coming　to　Beni…Mora　she　was　surely　finding。　Her
act　was　bringing　forth　its　fruit。　She　had　put　a　gulf；　in　which　rolled
the　sea；　between　the　land　of　the　old　life　and　the　land　in　which　at
least　the　new　life　was　to　begin。　The　completeness　of　the　severance　had
acted　upon　her　like　a　blow　that　does　not　stun；　but　wakens。　The　days
went　like　a　dream；　but　in　the　dream　there　was　the　stir　of　birth。　Her
lassitude　was　permanently　gone。　There　had　been　no　returning　after　the
first　hours　of　excitement。　The　frost　that　had　numbed　her　senses　had
utterly　melted　away。　Who　could　be　frost…bound　in　this　land　of　fire？
She　had　longed　for　peace　and　she　was　surely　finding　it；　but　it　was　a
peace　without　stagnation。　Hope　dwelt　in　it；　and　expectancy；　vague　but
persistent。　As　to　forgetfulness；　sometimes　she　woke　from　the　dream　and
was　almost　dazed；　almost　ashamed　to　think　how　much　she　was　forgetting；
and　how　quickly。　Her　European　life　and　friendssome　of　them　intimate
and　closewere　like　a　far…off　cloud　on　the　horizon；　flying　still
farther　before　a　steady　wind　that　set　from　her　to　it。　Soon　it　would
disappear；　would　be　as　if　it　had　never　been。　Now　and　then；　with　a　sort
of　fierce　obstinacy；　she　tried　to　stay　the　flight　she　had　desired；　and
desired　still。　She　said　to　herself；　〃I　will　remember。　It's
contemptible　to　forget　like　this。　It's　weak　to　be　able　to。〃　Then　she
looked　at　the　mountains　or　the　desert；　at　two　Arabs　playing　the
ladies'　game　under　the　shadow　of　a　cafe　wall；　or　at　a　girl　in　dusty
orange　filling　a　goatskin　pitcher　at　a　well　beneath　a　palm　tree；　and
she　succumbed　to　the　lulling　influence；　smiling　as　they　smile　who　hear
the　gentle　ripple　of　the　waters　of　Lethe。

She　heard　them　perhaps　most　clearly　when　she　wandered　in　Count
Anteoni's　garden。　He　had　made　her　free　of　it　in　their　first　interview。
She　had　ventured　to　take　him　at　his　word；　knowing　that　if　he　repented
she　would　divine　it。　He　had　made　her　feel　that　he　had　not　repented。
Sometimes　she　did　not　see　him　as　she　threaded　the　sandy　alleys　between
the　little　rills；　hearing　the　distant　song　of　Larbi's　amorous　flute；
or　sat　in　the　dense　shade　of　the　trees　watching　through　a　window…space
of　quivering　golden　leaves　the　passing　of　the　caravans　along　the
desert　tracks。　Sometimes　a　little　wreath　of　ascending　smoke；　curling
above　the　purple　petals　of　bougainvilleas；　or　the　red　cloud　of
oleanders；　told　her　of　his　presence；　in　some　retired　thinking…place。
Oftener　he　joined　her；　with　an　easy　politeness　that　did　not　conceal
his　oddity；　but　clothed　it　in　a　pleasant　garment；　and　they　talked　for
a　while　or　stayed　for　a　while　in　an　agreeable　silence　that　each　felt
to　be　sympathetic。

Domini　thought　of　him　as　a　new　species　of　mana　hermit　of　the　world。
He　knew　the　world　and　did　not　hate　it。　His　satire　was　rarely　quite
ungentle。　He　did　not　strike　her　as　a　disappointed　man　who　fled　to
solitude　in　bitterness　of　spirit；　but　rather　as　an　imaginative　man
with　an　unusual　feeling　for　romance；　and　perhaps　a　desire　for　freedom
that　the　normal　civilised　life　restrained　too　much。　He　loved　thought
as　many　love　conversation；　silence　as　some　love　music。　Now　and　then　he
said　a　sad　or　bitter　thing。　Sometimes　she　seemed　to　be　near　to
something　stern。　Sometimes　she　felt　as　if　there　were　a　secret　link
which　connected　him　with　the　perfume…seller　in　his　little　darkened
chamber；　with　the　legions　who　prayed　about　the　tomb　of　Sidi…Zerzour。
But　these　moments　were　rare。　As　a　rule　he　was　whimsical　and　kind；　with
the　kindness　of　a　good…hearted　man　who　was　human　even　in　his
detachment　from　ordinary　humanity。　His　humour　was　a　salt　with　plenty
of　savour。　His　imagination　was　of　a　sort　which　interested　and　even
charmed　her。

She　felt；　too；　that　she　interested　him　and　that　he　was　a　man　not
readily　interested　in　ordinary　human　beings。　He　had　seen　too　many　and
judged　too　shrewdly　and　too　swiftly　to　be　easily　held　for　very　long。
She　had　no　ambition　to　hold　him；　and　had　never　in　her　life　consciously
striven　to　attract　or　retain　any　man；　but　she　was　woman　enough　to　find
his　obvious　pleasure　in　her　society　agreeable。　She　thought　that　her
genuine　adoration　of　the　garden　he　had　made；　of　the　land　in　which　it
was　set；　had　not　a　little　to　do　with　the　happy　nature　of　their
intercourse。　For　she　felt　certain　that　beneath　the　light　satire　of　his
manner；　his　often　smiling　airs　of　detachment　and　quiet　independence；
there　was　something　that　could　seek　almost　with　passion；　that　could
cling　with　resolution；　that　could　even　love　with　persistence。　And　she
fancied　that　he　sought　in　the　desert；　that　he　clung　to　its　mystery；
that　he　loved　it　and　the　garden　he　had　created　in　it。　Once　she　had
laughingly　called　him　a　desert　spirit。　He　had　smiled　as　if　with
contentment。

They　knew　little　of　each　other；　yet　they　had　become　friends　in　the
garden　which　he　never　left。

One　day　she　said　to　him：

〃You　love　the　desert。　Why　do　you　never　go　into　it？〃

〃I　prefer　to　watch　it；〃　he　relied。　〃When　you　are　in　the　desert　it
bewilders　you。〃

She　remembered　what　she　had　felt　during　her　first　ride　with　Androvsky。

〃I　believe　you　are　afraid　of　it；〃　she　said　challengingly。

〃Fear　is　sometimes　the　beginning　of　wisdom；〃　he　answered。　〃But　you　are
without　it；　I　know。〃

〃How　do　you　know？〃

〃Every　day　I　see　you　galloping　away　into　the　sun。〃

She　thought　there　was　a　faint　sound　of　warningor　was　it　of　rebuke
in　his　voice。　It　made　her　feel　defiant。

〃I　think　you　lose　a　great　deal　by　not　galloping　into　the　sun　too；〃　she
said。

〃But　if　I　don't　ride？〃

That　made　her　think　of　Androvsky　and　his　angry　resolution。　It　had　not
been　the　resolution　of　a　day。　Wearied　and　stiffened　as　he　had　been　by
the　expedition　to　Sidi…Zerzour；　actually　injured　by　his　fallshe　knew
from　Batouch　that　he　had　been　obliged　to　call　in　the　Beni…Mora　doctor
to　bandage　his　shouldershe　had　been　roused　at　dawn　on　the　day
following　by　his　tread　on　the　verandah。　She　had　lain　still　while　it
descended　the　staircase；　but　then　the　sharp　neighing　of　a　horse　had
awakened　an　irresistible　curiosity　in　her。　She　had　got　up；　wrapped
herself　in　a　fur　coat　and　slipped　out　on　to　the　verandah。　The　sun　was
not　above　the　horizon　line　of　the　desert；　but　the　darkness　of　night
was　melting　into　a　luminous　grey。　The　air　was　almost　cold。　The　palms
looked　spectral；　even　terrible；　the　empty　and　silent　gardens
melancholy　and　dangerous。　It　was　not　an　hour　for　activity；　for
determination；　but　for　reverie；　for　apprehension。

Below；　a　sleepy　Arab　boy；　his　hood　drawn　over　his　head；　held　the
chestnut　horse　by　the　bridle。　Androvsky　came　out　from　the　arcade。　He
wore　a　cap　pulled　down　to　his　eyebrows　which　changed　his　appearance；
giving　him；　as　seen　from　above；　the　look　of　a　groom　or　stable　hand。　He
stood　for　a　minute　and　stared　at　the　horse。　Then　he　limped　round　to
the　left　side　and　carefully　mounted；　following　out　the　directions
Domini　had　given　him　the　previous　day：　to　avoid　touching　the　animal
with　his　foot；　to　have　the　rein　in　his　fingers　before　leaving　the
ground；　and　to　come　down　in　the　saddle　as　lightly　as　possible。　She
noted　that　all　her　hints　were　taken　with　infinite　precaution。　Once　on
the　horse　he　tried　to　sit　up　straight；　but　found　the　effort　too　great
in　his　weary　and　bruised　condition。　He　leaned　forward　over　the　saddle
peak；　and　rode　away　in　the　luminous　greyness　towards　the　desert。　The
horse　went　quietly；　as　if　affected　by　the　mystery　of　the　still　hour。
Horse　and　rider　disappeared。　The　Arab　boy　wandered　off　in　the
direction　of　the　village。　But　Domini　remained　looking　after　Androvsky。
She　saw　nothing　but　the　grim　palms　and　the　spectral　atmosphere　in
which　the　desert　lay。　Yet　she　did　not　move　till　a　red　spear　was　thrust
up　out　of　the　east　towards　the　last　waning　star。

He　had　gone　to　learn　his　lesson　in　the　desert。

Three　days　afterwards　she　rode　with　him　again。　She　did　not　let　him
know　of　her　presence　on　the　verandah；　and　he　said　nothing　of　his
departure　in　the　dawn。　He　spoke　very　little　and　seemed　much　occupied
with　his　horse；　and　she　saw　that　he　was　more　than　determinedthat　he
was　apt　at　acquiring　control　of　a　physical　exercise　new　to　him。　His
great　strength　stood　him　in　good　stead。　Only　a　man　hard　in　the　body
could　have　so　rapidly　recovered　from　the　effects　of　that　first　day　of
defeat　and　struggle。　His　absolute　reticence　about　his　efforts　and　the
iron　will　that　prompted　them　pleased　Domini。　She　found　them　worthy　of
a　man。

She　rode　with　him　on　three　occasions；　twice　in　the　oasis　through　the
brown　villages；　once　out　into　the　desert　on　the　caravan　road　that
Batouch　had　told　her　led　at　last　to　Tombouctou。　They　did　not　travel
far　along　it；　but　Domini　knew　at　once　that　this　route　held　more
fascination　for　her　than　the　route　to　Sidi…Zerzour。　There　was　far　more
sand　in　this　region　of　the　desert。　The　little　humps　crowned　with　the
scrub　the　camels　feed　on　were　fewer；　so　that　the　flatness　of　the
ground　was　more　definite。　Here　and　there　large　dunes　of　golden…
coloured　sand　rose；　some　straight　as　city　walls；　some　curved　like
seats　in　an　amphitheatre；　others　indented；　crenellated　like
battlements；　undulating　in　beastlike