the garden of allah-第116节

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that　tonight。〃

She　saw　him　look　at　it　steadily。

〃You　remember；〃　she　said；　at　the　bottom　of　the　avenue　of　cypressesat
El…Largani/Factus　obediens　usque　ad　mortem　Crucis/？〃

〃Yes；　Domini。〃

〃We　can　be　obedient　too。　Let　us　be　obedient　too。〃

When　she　said　that；　and　looked　at　him；　Androvsky　felt　as　if　he　were　on
his　knees　before　her；　as　he　was　upon　his　knees　in　the　garden　when　he
could　not　go　away。　But　he　felt；　too；　that　then；　though　he　had　loved
her；　he　had　not　known　how　to　love　her；　how　to　love　anyone。　She　had
taught　him　now。　The　lesson　sank　into　his　heart　like　a　sword　and　like
balm。　It　was　as　if　he　were　slain　and　healed　by　the　same　stroke。

That　night；　as　Domini　lay　in　the　lonely　room　in　the　hotel；　with　the
French　windows　open　to　the　verandah；　she　heard　the　church　clock　chime
the　hour　and　the　distant　sound　of　the　African　hautboy　in　the　street　of
the　dancers；　she　heard　again　the　two　voices。　The　hautboy　was　barbarous
and　provocative；　but　she　thought　that　it　was　no　more　shrill　with　a
persistent　triumph。　Presently　the　church　bell　chimed　again。

Was　it　the　bell　of　the　church　of　Beni…Mora；　or　the　bell　of　the　chapel
of　El…Largani？　Or　was　it　not　rather　the　voice　of　the　great　religion　to
which　she　belonged；　to　which　Androvsky　was　returning？

When　it　ceased　she　whispered　to　herself；　〃/Factus　obediens　usque　ad
mortem　Crucis/。〃　And　with　these　words　upon　her　lips　towards　dawn　she
fell　asleep。　They　had　dined　upstairs　in　the　little　room　that　had
formerly　been　Domini's　salon；　and　had　not　seen　Father　Roubier；　who
always　came　to　the　hotel　to　take　his　evening　meal。　In　the　morning；
after　they　had　breakfasted；　Androvsky　said：

〃Domini；　I　will　go。　I　will　go　now。〃

He　got　up　and　stood　by　her；　looking　down　at　her。　In　his　face　there　was
a　sort　of　sternness；　a　set　expression。

〃To　Father　Roubier；　Boris？〃　she　said。

〃Yes。　Before　I　go　won't　youwon't　you　give　me　your　hand？〃

She　understood　all　the　agony　of　spirit　he　was　enduring；　all　the　shame
against　which　he　was　fighting。　She　longed　to　spring　up；　to　take　him　in
her　arms；　to　comfort　him　as　only　the　woman　he　loves　and　who　loves　him
can　comfort　a　man；　without　words；　by　the　pressure　of　her　arms；　the
pressure　of　her　lips；　the　beating　of　her　heart　against　his　heart。　She
longed　to　do　this　so　ardently　that　she　moved　restlessly；　looking　up　at
him　with　a　light　in　her　eyes　that　he　had　never　seen　in　them　before；
not　even　when　they　watched　the　fire　dying　down　at　Arba。　But　she　did
not　lift　her　hand　to　his。

〃Boris；〃　she　said；　〃go。　God　will　be　with　you。〃

After　a　moment　she　added：

〃And　all　my　heart。〃

He　stood；　as　if　waiting；　a　long　time。　She　had　ceased　from　moving　and
had　withdrawn　her　eyes　from　his。　In　his　soul　a　voice　was　saying；　〃If
she　does　not　touch　you　now　she　will　never　touch　you　again。〃　And　he
waited。　He　could　not　help　waiting。

〃Boris；〃　she　whispered；　〃good…bye。〃

〃Good…bye？〃　he　said。

〃Come　to　meafterwards。　Come　to　me　in　the　garden。　I　shall　be　there
where　weI　shall　be　there　waiting　for　you。〃

He　went　out　without　another　word。

When　he　was　gone　she　went　on　to　the　verandah　quickly　and　looked　over
the　parapet。　She　saw　him　come　out　from　beneath　the　arcade　and　walk
slowly　across　the　road　to　the　little　gate　of　the　enclosure　before　the
house　of　the　priest。　As　he　lifted　his　hands　to　open　the　gate　there　was
the　sound　of　a　bark；　and　she　saw　Bous…Bous　run　out　with　a　manner　of
stern　inquiry；　which　quickly　changed　to　joyful　welcome　as　he
recognised　an　old　acquaintance。　Androvsky　bent　down；　took　up　the
little　dog　in　his　arms；　and；　holding　him；　walked　to　the　house　door。　In
a　moment　it　was　opened　and　he　went　in。　Then　Domini　set　out　towards　the
garden；　avoiding　the　village　street；　and　taking　a　byway　which　skirted
the　desert。　She　walked　quickly。　She　longed　to　be　within　the　shadows　of
the　garden　behind　the　white　wall。　She　did　not　feel　much；　think　much；
as　she　walked。　Without　self…consciously　knowing　it　she　was　holding　all
her　nature；　the　whole　of　herself；　fiercely　in　check。　She　did　not　look
about　her；　did　not　see　the　sunlit　reaches　of　the　desert；　or　the　walls
of　the　houses　of　Beni…Mora；　or　the　palm　trees。　Only　when　she　had
passed　the　hotel　and　the　negro　village　and　turned　to　the　left；　to　the
track　at　the　edge　of　which　the　villa　of　Count　Anteoni　stood；　did　she
lift　her　eyes　from　the　ground。　They　rested　on　the　white　arcade　framing
the　fierce　blue　of　the　cloudless　sky。　She　stopped　short。　Her　nature
seemed　to　escape　from　the　leash　by　which　she　had　held　it　in　with　a
rush；　to　leap　forward；　to　be　in　the　garden　and　in　the　past；　in　the
past　with　its　passion　and　its　fiery　hopes；　its　magnificent　looking
forward；　its　holy　desires　of　joy　that　would　crown　her　woman's　life；　of
love　that　would　teach　her　all　the　depth；　and　the　height；　and　the　force
and　the　submission　of　her　womanhood。　And　then；　from　that　past；　it
strove　on　into　the　present。　The　shock　was　as　the　shock　of　battle。
There　were　noises　in　her　ears；　voices　clamouring　in　her　heart。　All　her
pulses　throbbed　like　hammers；　and　then　suddenly　she　felt　as　weak　as　a
little　sick　child；　and　as　if　she　must　lie　down　there　on　the　dust　of
the　white　road　in　the　sunshine；　lie　down　and　die　at　the　edge　of　the
desert　that　had　treated　her　cruelly；　that　had　slain　the　hopes　it　had
given　to　her　and　brought　into　her　heart　this　terrible　despair。

For　now　she　knew　a　moment　of　utter　despair；　in　which　all　things　seemed
to　dissolve　into　atoms　and　sink　down　out　of　her　sight。　She　stood
quivering　in　blackness。　She　stood　absolutely　alone；　more　absolutely
alone　than　any　woman　had　ever　been；　than　any　human　being　had　ever
been。　She　seemed　presently；　as　the　blackness　faded　into　something
pale；　like　a　ghastly　twilight；　to　see　herselfher　wraith；　as　it　were
standing　in　a　vast　landscape；　vast　as　the　desert；　companionless；
lost；　forgotten；　out　of　mind；　watching　for　something　that　would　never
come；　listening　for　some　voice　that　was　hushed　in　eternal　silence。

That　was　to　be　her　life；　she　thoughtcould　she　face　it？　Could　she
endure　it？　And　everything　within　her　said　to　her　that　she　could　not。

And　then；　just　then；　when　she　felt　that　she　must　sink　down　and　give　up
the　battle　of　life；　she　seemed　to　see　by　her　side　a　shape；　a　little
shape　like　a　child。　And　it　lifted　up　a　hand　to　her　hand。

And　she　knew　that　the　vast　landscape　was　God's　garden；　the　Garden　of
Allah；　and　that　no　day；　no　night　could　ever　pass　without　God　walking
in　it。

Hearing　a　knock　upon　the　great　gate　of　the　garden　Smain　uncurled
himself　on　his　mat　within　the　tent；　rose　lazily　to　his　feet；　and；
without　a　rose；　strolled　languidly　to　open　to　the　visitor。　Domini
stood　without。　When　he　saw　her　he　smiled　quietly；　with　no　surprise。

〃Madame　has　returned？〃

Domini　smiled　at　him；　but　her　lips　were　trembling；　and　she　said
nothing。

Smain　observed　her　with　a　dawning　of　curiosity。

〃Madame　is　changed；〃　he　said　at　length。　〃Madame　looks　tired。　The　sun
is　hot　in　the　desert　now。　It　is　better　here　in　the　garden。〃

With　an　effort　she　controlled　herself。

〃Yes；　Smain；〃　she　answered；　〃it　is　better　here。　But　I　can　not　stay
here　long。〃

〃You　are　going　away？〃

〃Yes；　I　am　going　away。〃

She　saw　more　quiet　questions　fluttering　on　his　lips；　and　added：

〃And　now　I　want　to　walk　in　the　garden　alone。〃

He　waved　his　hand　towards　the　trees。

〃It　is　all　for　Madame。　Monsieur　the　Count　has　always　said　so。　But
Monsieur？〃

〃He　is　in　Beni…Mora。　He　is　coming　presently　to　fetch　me。〃

Then　she　turned　away　and　walked　slowly　across　the　great　sweep　of　sand
towards　the　trees　and　was　taken　by　their　darkness。　She　heard　again　the
liquid　bubbling　of　the　hidden　waterfall；　and　was　again　companioned　by
the　mystery　of　this　desert　Paradise；　but　it　no　longer　whispered　to　her
of　peace　for　her。　It　murmured　only　its　own　personal　peace　and
accentuated　her　own　personal　agony　and　struggle。　All　that　it　had　been
it　still　was；　but　all　that　she　had　been　in　it　was　changed。　And　she
felt　the　full　terror　of　Nature's　equanimity　environing　the　fierce　and
tortured　lives　of　men。

As　she　walked　towards　the　deepest　recesses　of　the　garden　along　the
winding　tracks　between　the　rills　she　had　no　sensation　of　approaching
the　hidden　home　of　the　Geni　of　the　garden。　Yet　she　remembered　acutely
all　her　first　feelings　there。　Not　one　was　forgotten。　They　returned　to
her　like　spectres　stealing　across　the　sand。　They　lurked　like　spectres
among　the　dense　masses　of　the　trees。　She　strove　not　to　see　their　pale
shapes；　not　to　hear　their　terrible　voices。　She　strove　to　draw　calm
once　more　from　this　infinite　calm　of　silently…growing　things　aspiring
towards　the　sun。　But　with　each　step　she　took　the　torment　in　her　heart
increased。　At　last　she　came　to　the　deeper　darkness　and　the　blanched
sand；　and　saw　pine　needles　strewed　about　her　feet。　Then　she　stood
still；　instinctively　listening　for　a　sound　that　would　complete　the
magic　of　the　garden　and　her　own　despair。　She　waited　for　it。　She　even
felt；　strangely；　that　she　wanted；　that　she　needed　itthe　sound　of　the
flute　of　Larbi　playing　his　amorous　tune。　But　his　flute　to…day　was
silent。　Had　he　fallen　out　of　an　old　love　and　not　yet　found　a　new？　or
had　he；　perhaps；　gone　away？　or　was　he　dead？　For　a　long　time　she　stood
there；　thinking　about　Larbi。　He　and