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第105节

the garden of allah-第105节

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strolled for a little while。 We did not talk much。 The stranger's
eyes; I noticed; were everywhere; taking in every detail of the scene
around us。 Presently we came to the vineyard; to the left of which was
the road that led to the cemetery; passed up the road and arrived at
the cemetery gate。

〃'Here I must leave you;' I said。

〃'Why?' he asked quickly。

〃'There is another Father who will show you the chapel。 I shall wait
for you here。'

〃I sat down and waited。 When the stranger returned it seemed to me
that his face was calmer; that there was a quieter expression in his
eyes。 When we were once more before the /hotellerie/ I said:

〃'You have seen all my small domain now。'

〃He glanced at the house。

〃'But there seems to be a number of rooms;' he said。

〃'Only the bedrooms。'

〃'Bedrooms? Do people stay the night here?'

〃'Sometimes。 If they please they can stay for longer than a night。'

〃'How much longer?'

〃'For any time they please; if they conform to one or two simple rules
and pay a small fixed sum to the monastery。'

〃'Do you mean that you could take anyone in for the summer?' he said
abruptly。

〃'Why not? The consent of the Reverend Pere has to be obtained。 That
is all。'

〃'I should like to see the bedrooms。'

〃I took him in and showed him one。

〃'All the others are the same;' I said。

〃He glanced round at the white walls; the rough bed; the crucifix
above it; the iron basin; the paved floor; then went to the window and
looked out。

〃'Well;' he said; drawing back into the room; 'I will go now to see
the Pere Abbe; if it is permitted。'

〃On the garden path I bade him good…bye。 He shook my hand。 There was
an odd smile in his face。 Half…an…hour later I saw him coming again
through the arcade。

〃'Father;' he said; 'I am not going away。 I have asked the Pere Abbe's
permission to stay here。 He has given it to me。 To…morrow such luggage
as I need will be sent over from Tunis。 Are youare you very vexed to
have a stranger to trouble your peace?'

〃His intensely observant eyes were fixed upon me while he spoke。 I
answered:

〃'I do not think you will trouble my peace。'

〃And my thought was:

〃'I will help you to find the peace which you have lost。'

〃Was it a presumptuous thought; Domini? Was it insolent? At the time
it seemed to me absolutely sincere; one of the best thoughts I had
ever hada thought put into my heart by God。 I didn't know thenI
didn't know。〃

He stopped speaking; and stood for a time quite still; looking down at
the sand; which was silver white under the moon。 At last he lifted his
head and said; speaking slowly:

〃It was the coming of this man that put the spark to that torch。 It
was he who woke up in me the half of myself which; unsuspected by me;
had been slumbering through all my life; slumbering and gathering
strength in slumberas the body doesgathering a strength that was
tremendous; that was to overmaster the whole of me; that was to make
of me one mad impulse。 He woke up in me the body and the body was to
take possession of the soul。 I wondercan I make you feel why this
man was able to affect me thus? Can I make you know this man?

〃He was a man full of secret violence; violence of the mind and
violence of the body; a volcanic man。 He was Englishhe said sobut
there must have been blood that was not English in his veins。 When I
was with him I felt as if I was with fire。 There was the restlessness
of fire in him。 There was the intensity of fire。 He could be reserved。
He could appear to be cold。 But always I was conscious that if there
was stone without there was scorching heat within。 He was watchful of
himself and of everyone with whom he came into the slightest contact。
He was very clever。 He had an immense amount of personal charm; I
think; at any rate for me。 He was very human; passionately interested
in humanity。 He wasand this was specially part of him; a dominant
traithe was savagely; yes; savagely; eager to be happy; and when he
came to live in the /hotellerie/ he was savagely unhappy。 An egoist he
was; a thinker; a man who longed to lay hold of something beyond this
world; but who had not been able to do so。 Even his desire to find
rest in a religion seemed to me to have greed in it; to have something
in it that was akin to avarice。 He was a human storm; Domini; as well
as a human fire。 Think! what a man to be cast by the worldwhich he
knew as they know it only who are voracious for life and freeinto my
quiet existence。

〃Very soon he began to show himself to me as he was; with a sort of
fearlessness that was almost impudent。 The conditions of our two lives
in the monastery threw us perpetually together in a curious isolation。
And the Reverend Pere; Domini; the Reverend Pere; set my feet in the
path of my own destruction。 On the day after the stranger had arrived
the Reverend Pere sent for me to his private room; and said to me;
'Our new guest is in a very unhappy state。 He has been attracted by
our peace。 If we can bring peace to him it will be an action
acceptable to God。 You will be much with him。 Try to do him good。 He
is not a Catholic; but no matter。 He wishes to attend the services in
the chapel。 He may be influenced。 God may have guided his feet to us;
we cannot tell。 But we can actwe can pray for him。 I do not know how
long he will stay。 It may be for only a few days or for the whole
summer。 It does not matter。 Use each day well for him。 Each day may be
his last with us。' I went out from the Reverend Pere full of
enthusiasm; feeling that a great; a splendid interest had come into my
life; an interest such as it had never held before。

〃Day by day I was with this man。 Of course there were many hours when
we were apart; the hours when I was at prayer in the chapel or
occupied with study。 But each day we passed much time together;
generally in the garden。 Scarcely any visitors came; and none to stay;
except; from time to time; a passing priest; and once two young men
from Tunis; one of whom had an inclination to become a novice。 And
this man; as I have said; began to show himself to me with a
tremendous frankness。

〃Domini; he was suffering under what I suppose would be called an
obsession; an immense domination such as one human being sometimes
obtains over another。 At that time I had never realised that there
were such dominations。 Now I know that there are; and; Domini; that
they can be both terrible and splendid。 He was dominated by a woman;
by a woman who had come into his life; seized it; made it a thing of
glory; broken it。 He described to me the dominion of this woman。 He
told me how she had transformed him。 Till he met her he had been
passionate but free; his own master through many experiences; many
intrigues。 He was very frank; Domini。 He did not attempt to hide from
me that his life had been evil。 It had been a life devoted to the
acquiring of experience; of all possible experience; mental and
bodily。 I gathered that he had shrunk from nothing; avoided nothing。
His nature had prompted him to rush upon everything; to grasp at
everything。 At first I was horrified at what he told me。 I showed it。
I remember the second evening after his arrival we were sitting
together in a little arbour at the foot of the vineyard that sloped up
to the cemetery。 It was half an hour before the last service in the
chapel。 The air was cool with breath from the distant sea。 An intense
calm; a heavenly calm; I think; filled the garden; floated away to the
cypresses beside the graves; along the avenue where stood the Fourteen
Stations of the Cross。 And he told me; began to tell me something of
his life。

〃'You thought to find happiness in such an existence?' I exclaimed;
almost with incredulity I believe。

〃He looked at me with his shining eyes。

〃'Why not; Father? Do you think I was a madman to do so?'

〃'Surely。'

〃'Why? Is there not happiness in knowledge?'

〃'Knowledge of evil?'

〃'Knowledge of all things that exist in life。 I have never sought for
evil specially; I have sought for everything。 I wished to bring
everything under my observation; everything connected with human
life。'

〃'But human life;' I said more quietly; 'passes away from this world。
It is a shadow in a world of shadows。'

〃'You say that;' he answered abruptly。 'I wonder if you feel itfeel
it as you feel my hand on yours。'

〃He laid his hand on mine。 It was hot and dry as if with fever。 Its
touch affected me painfully。

〃'Is that hand the hand of a shadow?' he said。 'Is this body that can
enjoy and suffer; that can be in heaven or in hellhereherea
shadow?'

〃'Within a week it might be less than a shadow。'

〃'And what of that? This is now; this is now。 Do you mean what you
say? Do you truly feel that you are a shadowthat this garden is but
a world of shadows? I feel that I; that you; are terrific realities;
that this garden is of immense significance。 Look at that sky。'

〃The sky above the cypresses was red with sunset。 The trees looked
black beneath it。 Fireflies were flitting near the arbour where we
sat。

〃'That is the sky that roofs what you would have me believe a world of
shadows。 It is like the blood; the hot blood that flows and surges in

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