the garden of allah-第105节

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strolled　for　a　little　while。　We　did　not　talk　much。　The　stranger's
eyes；　I　noticed；　were　everywhere；　taking　in　every　detail　of　the　scene
around　us。　Presently　we　came　to　the　vineyard；　to　the　left　of　which　was
the　road　that　led　to　the　cemetery；　passed　up　the　road　and　arrived　at
the　cemetery　gate。

〃'Here　I　must　leave　you；'　I　said。

〃'Why？'　he　asked　quickly。

〃'There　is　another　Father　who　will　show　you　the　chapel。　I　shall　wait
for　you　here。'

〃I　sat　down　and　waited。　When　the　stranger　returned　it　seemed　to　me
that　his　face　was　calmer；　that　there　was　a　quieter　expression　in　his
eyes。　When　we　were　once　more　before　the　/hotellerie/　I　said：

〃'You　have　seen　all　my　small　domain　now。'

〃He　glanced　at　the　house。

〃'But　there　seems　to　be　a　number　of　rooms；'　he　said。

〃'Only　the　bedrooms。'

〃'Bedrooms？　Do　people　stay　the　night　here？'

〃'Sometimes。　If　they　please　they　can　stay　for　longer　than　a　night。'

〃'How　much　longer？'

〃'For　any　time　they　please；　if　they　conform　to　one　or　two　simple　rules
and　pay　a　small　fixed　sum　to　the　monastery。'

〃'Do　you　mean　that　you　could　take　anyone　in　for　the　summer？'　he　said
abruptly。

〃'Why　not？　The　consent　of　the　Reverend　Pere　has　to　be　obtained。　That
is　all。'

〃'I　should　like　to　see　the　bedrooms。'

〃I　took　him　in　and　showed　him　one。

〃'All　the　others　are　the　same；'　I　said。

〃He　glanced　round　at　the　white　walls；　the　rough　bed；　the　crucifix
above　it；　the　iron　basin；　the　paved　floor；　then　went　to　the　window　and
looked　out。

〃'Well；'　he　said；　drawing　back　into　the　room；　'I　will　go　now　to　see
the　Pere　Abbe；　if　it　is　permitted。'

〃On　the　garden　path　I　bade　him　good…bye。　He　shook　my　hand。　There　was
an　odd　smile　in　his　face。　Half…an…hour　later　I　saw　him　coming　again
through　the　arcade。

〃'Father；'　he　said；　'I　am　not　going　away。　I　have　asked　the　Pere　Abbe's
permission　to　stay　here。　He　has　given　it　to　me。　To…morrow　such　luggage
as　I　need　will　be　sent　over　from　Tunis。　Are　youare　you　very　vexed　to
have　a　stranger　to　trouble　your　peace？'

〃His　intensely　observant　eyes　were　fixed　upon　me　while　he　spoke。　I
answered：

〃'I　do　not　think　you　will　trouble　my　peace。'

〃And　my　thought　was：

〃'I　will　help　you　to　find　the　peace　which　you　have　lost。'

〃Was　it　a　presumptuous　thought；　Domini？　Was　it　insolent？　At　the　time
it　seemed　to　me　absolutely　sincere；　one　of　the　best　thoughts　I　had
ever　hada　thought　put　into　my　heart　by　God。　I　didn't　know　thenI
didn't　know。〃

He　stopped　speaking；　and　stood　for　a　time　quite　still；　looking　down　at
the　sand；　which　was　silver　white　under　the　moon。　At　last　he　lifted　his
head　and　said；　speaking　slowly：

〃It　was　the　coming　of　this　man　that　put　the　spark　to　that　torch。　It
was　he　who　woke　up　in　me　the　half　of　myself　which；　unsuspected　by　me；
had　been　slumbering　through　all　my　life；　slumbering　and　gathering
strength　in　slumberas　the　body　doesgathering　a　strength　that　was
tremendous；　that　was　to　overmaster　the　whole　of　me；　that　was　to　make
of　me　one　mad　impulse。　He　woke　up　in　me　the　body　and　the　body　was　to
take　possession　of　the　soul。　I　wondercan　I　make　you　feel　why　this
man　was　able　to　affect　me　thus？　Can　I　make　you　know　this　man？

〃He　was　a　man　full　of　secret　violence；　violence　of　the　mind　and
violence　of　the　body；　a　volcanic　man。　He　was　Englishhe　said　sobut
there　must　have　been　blood　that　was　not　English　in　his　veins。　When　I
was　with　him　I　felt　as　if　I　was　with　fire。　There　was　the　restlessness
of　fire　in　him。　There　was　the　intensity　of　fire。　He　could　be　reserved。
He　could　appear　to　be　cold。　But　always　I　was　conscious　that　if　there
was　stone　without　there　was　scorching　heat　within。　He　was　watchful　of
himself　and　of　everyone　with　whom　he　came　into　the　slightest　contact。
He　was　very　clever。　He　had　an　immense　amount　of　personal　charm；　I
think；　at　any　rate　for　me。　He　was　very　human；　passionately　interested
in　humanity。　He　wasand　this　was　specially　part　of　him；　a　dominant
traithe　was　savagely；　yes；　savagely；　eager　to　be　happy；　and　when　he
came　to　live　in　the　/hotellerie/　he　was　savagely　unhappy。　An　egoist　he
was；　a　thinker；　a　man　who　longed　to　lay　hold　of　something　beyond　this
world；　but　who　had　not　been　able　to　do　so。　Even　his　desire　to　find
rest　in　a　religion　seemed　to　me　to　have　greed　in　it；　to　have　something
in　it　that　was　akin　to　avarice。　He　was　a　human　storm；　Domini；　as　well
as　a　human　fire。　Think！　what　a　man　to　be　cast　by　the　worldwhich　he
knew　as　they　know　it　only　who　are　voracious　for　life　and　freeinto　my
quiet　existence。

〃Very　soon　he　began　to　show　himself　to　me　as　he　was；　with　a　sort　of
fearlessness　that　was　almost　impudent。　The　conditions　of　our　two　lives
in　the　monastery　threw　us　perpetually　together　in　a　curious　isolation。
And　the　Reverend　Pere；　Domini；　the　Reverend　Pere；　set　my　feet　in　the
path　of　my　own　destruction。　On　the　day　after　the　stranger　had　arrived
the　Reverend　Pere　sent　for　me　to　his　private　room；　and　said　to　me；
'Our　new　guest　is　in　a　very　unhappy　state。　He　has　been　attracted　by
our　peace。　If　we　can　bring　peace　to　him　it　will　be　an　action
acceptable　to　God。　You　will　be　much　with　him。　Try　to　do　him　good。　He
is　not　a　Catholic；　but　no　matter。　He　wishes　to　attend　the　services　in
the　chapel。　He　may　be　influenced。　God　may　have　guided　his　feet　to　us；
we　cannot　tell。　But　we　can　actwe　can　pray　for　him。　I　do　not　know　how
long　he　will　stay。　It　may　be　for　only　a　few　days　or　for　the　whole
summer。　It　does　not　matter。　Use　each　day　well　for　him。　Each　day　may　be
his　last　with　us。'　I　went　out　from　the　Reverend　Pere　full　of
enthusiasm；　feeling　that　a　great；　a　splendid　interest　had　come　into　my
life；　an　interest　such　as　it　had　never　held　before。

〃Day　by　day　I　was　with　this　man。　Of　course　there　were　many　hours　when
we　were　apart；　the　hours　when　I　was　at　prayer　in　the　chapel　or
occupied　with　study。　But　each　day　we　passed　much　time　together；
generally　in　the　garden。　Scarcely　any　visitors　came；　and　none　to　stay；
except；　from　time　to　time；　a　passing　priest；　and　once　two　young　men
from　Tunis；　one　of　whom　had　an　inclination　to　become　a　novice。　And
this　man；　as　I　have　said；　began　to　show　himself　to　me　with　a
tremendous　frankness。

〃Domini；　he　was　suffering　under　what　I　suppose　would　be　called　an
obsession；　an　immense　domination　such　as　one　human　being　sometimes
obtains　over　another。　At　that　time　I　had　never　realised　that　there
were　such　dominations。　Now　I　know　that　there　are；　and；　Domini；　that
they　can　be　both　terrible　and　splendid。　He　was　dominated　by　a　woman；
by　a　woman　who　had　come　into　his　life；　seized　it；　made　it　a　thing　of
glory；　broken　it。　He　described　to　me　the　dominion　of　this　woman。　He
told　me　how　she　had　transformed　him。　Till　he　met　her　he　had　been
passionate　but　free；　his　own　master　through　many　experiences；　many
intrigues。　He　was　very　frank；　Domini。　He　did　not　attempt　to　hide　from
me　that　his　life　had　been　evil。　It　had　been　a　life　devoted　to　the
acquiring　of　experience；　of　all　possible　experience；　mental　and
bodily。　I　gathered　that　he　had　shrunk　from　nothing；　avoided　nothing。
His　nature　had　prompted　him　to　rush　upon　everything；　to　grasp　at
everything。　At　first　I　was　horrified　at　what　he　told　me。　I　showed　it。
I　remember　the　second　evening　after　his　arrival　we　were　sitting
together　in　a　little　arbour　at　the　foot　of　the　vineyard　that　sloped　up
to　the　cemetery。　It　was　half　an　hour　before　the　last　service　in　the
chapel。　The　air　was　cool　with　breath　from　the　distant　sea。　An　intense
calm；　a　heavenly　calm；　I　think；　filled　the　garden；　floated　away　to　the
cypresses　beside　the　graves；　along　the　avenue　where　stood　the　Fourteen
Stations　of　the　Cross。　And　he　told　me；　began　to　tell　me　something　of
his　life。

〃'You　thought　to　find　happiness　in　such　an　existence？'　I　exclaimed；
almost　with　incredulity　I　believe。

〃He　looked　at　me　with　his　shining　eyes。

〃'Why　not；　Father？　Do　you　think　I　was　a　madman　to　do　so？'

〃'Surely。'

〃'Why？　Is　there　not　happiness　in　knowledge？'

〃'Knowledge　of　evil？'

〃'Knowledge　of　all　things　that　exist　in　life。　I　have　never　sought　for
evil　specially；　I　have　sought　for　everything。　I　wished　to　bring
everything　under　my　observation；　everything　connected　with　human
life。'

〃'But　human　life；'　I　said　more　quietly；　'passes　away　from　this　world。
It　is　a　shadow　in　a　world　of　shadows。'

〃'You　say　that；'　he　answered　abruptly。　'I　wonder　if　you　feel　itfeel
it　as　you　feel　my　hand　on　yours。'

〃He　laid　his　hand　on　mine。　It　was　hot　and　dry　as　if　with　fever。　Its
touch　affected　me　painfully。

〃'Is　that　hand　the　hand　of　a　shadow？'　he　said。　'Is　this　body　that　can
enjoy　and　suffer；　that　can　be　in　heaven　or　in　hellhereherea
shadow？'

〃'Within　a　week　it　might　be　less　than　a　shadow。'

〃'And　what　of　that？　This　is　now；　this　is　now。　Do　you　mean　what　you
say？　Do　you　truly　feel　that　you　are　a　shadowthat　this　garden　is　but
a　world　of　shadows？　I　feel　that　I；　that　you；　are　terrific　realities；
that　this　garden　is　of　immense　significance。　Look　at　that　sky。'

〃The　sky　above　the　cypresses　was　red　with　sunset。　The　trees　looked
black　beneath　it。　Fireflies　were　flitting　near　the　arbour　where　we
sat。

〃'That　is　the　sky　that　roofs　what　you　would　have　me　believe　a　world　of
shadows。　It　is　like　the　blood；　the　hot　blood　that　flows　and　surges　in