wessex tales-第21节

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with　dignity。　　'You　used　to　have　a　gentlemanly　respect　for　me；　and
for　yourself。　　Don't　speak　any　more　as　you　have　spoken；　and　don't
come　again。　　I　cannot　think　that　this　visit　is　serious；　or　was
closely　considered　by　you。'

'Considered：　　well；　I　came　to　see　you　as　an　old　and　good　friendnot
to　mince　matters；　to　visit　a　woman　I　loved。　　Don't　be　angry！　　I
could　not　help　doing　it；　so　many　things　brought　you　into　my　mind　。　。
。　This　evening　I　fell　in　with　an　acquaintance；　and　when　I　saw　how
happy　he　was　with　his　wife　and　family　welcoming　him　home；　though
with　only　one…tenth　of　my　income　and　chances；　and　thought　what　might
have　been　in　my　case；　it　fairly　broke　down　my　discretion；　and　off　I
came　here。　　Now　I　am　here　I　feel　that　I　am　wrong　to　some　extent。
But　the　feeling　that　I　should　like　to　see　you；　and　talk　of　those　we
used　to　know　in　common；　was　very　strong。'

'Before　that　can　be　the　case　a　little　more　time　must　pass；'　said
Miss　Savile　quietly；　'a　time　long　enough　for　me　to　regard　with　some
calmness　what　at　present　I　remember　far　too　impatientlythough　it
may　be　you　almost　forget　it。　　Indeed　you　must　have　forgotten　it　long
before　you　acted　as　you　did。'　　Her　voice　grew　stronger　and　more
vivacious　as　she　added：　　'But　I　am　doing　my　best　to　forget　it　too；
and　I　know　I　shall　succeed　from　the　progress　I　have　made　already！'

She　had　remained　standing　till　now；　when　she　turned　and　sat　down；
facing　half　away　from　him。

Barnet　watched　her　moodily。　　'Yes；　it　is　only　what　I　deserve；'　he
said。　　'Ambition　pricked　me　onno；　it　was　not　ambition；　it　was
wrongheadedness！　　Had　I　but　reflected　。　。　。　'　　He　broke　out
vehemently：　　'But　always　remember　this；　Lucy：　　if　you　had　written　to
me　only　one　little　line　after　that　misunderstanding；　I　declare　I
should　have　come　back　to　you。　　That　ruined　me！'　he　slowly　walked　as
far　as　the　little　room　would　allow　him　to　go；　and　remained　with　his
eyes　on　the　skirting。

'But；　Mr。　Barnet；　how　could　I　write　to　you？　　There　was　no　opening
for　my　doing　so。'

'Then　there　ought　to　have　been；'　said　Barnet；　turning。　　'That　was　my
fault！'

'Well；　I　don't　know　anything　about　that；　but　as　there　had　been
nothing　said　by　me　which　required　any　explanation　by　letter；　I　did
not　send　one。　　Everything　was　so　indefinite；　and　feeling　your
position　to　be　so　much　wealthier　than　mine；　I　fancied　I　might　have
mistaken　your　meaning。　　And　when　I　heard　of　the　other　ladya　woman
of　whose　family　even　you　might　be　proudI　thought　how　foolish　I　had
been；　and　said　nothing。'

'Then　I　suppose　it　was　destinyaccidentI　don't　know　what；　that
separated　us；　dear　Lucy。　　Anyhow　you　were　the　woman　I　ought　to　have
made　my　wifeand　I　let　you　slip；　like　the　foolish　man　that　I　was！'

'O；　Mr。　Barnet；'　she　said；　almost　in　tears；　'don't　revive　the
subject　to　me；　I　am　the　wrong　one　to　console　youthink；　sir；you
should　not　be　hereit　would　be　so　bad　for　me　if　it　were　known！'

'It　wouldit　would；　indeed；'　he　said　hastily。　　'I　am　not　right　in
doing　this；　and　I　won't　do　it　again。'

'It　is　a　very　common　folly　of　human　nature；　you　know；　to　think　the
course　you　did　NOT　adopt　must　have　been　the　best；'　she　continued；
with　gentle　solicitude；　as　she　followed　him　to　the　door　of　the　room。
'And　you　don't　know　that　I　should　have　accepted　you；　even　if　you　had
asked　me　to　be　your　wife。'　　At　this　his　eye　met　hers；　and　she
dropped　her　gaze。　　She　knew　that　her　voice　belied　her。　　There　was　a
silence　till　she　looked　up　to　add；　in　a　voice　of　soothing
playfulness；　'My　family　was　so　much　poorer　than　yours；　even　before　I
lost　my　dear　father；　thatperhaps　your　companions　would　have　made
it　unpleasant　for　us　on　account　of　my　deficiencies。'

'Your　disposition　would　soon　have　won　them　round；'　said　Barnet。

She　archly　expostulated：　　'Now；　never　mind　my　disposition；　try　to
make　it　up　with　your　wife！　　Those　are　my　commands　to　you。　　And　now
you　are　to　leave　me　at　once。'

'I　will。　　I　must　make　the　best　of　it　all；　I　suppose；'　he　replied；
more　cheerfully　than　he　had　as　yet　spoken。　　'But　I　shall　never　again
meet　with　such　a　dear　girl　as　you！'　　And　he　suddenly　opened　the
door；　and　left　her　alone。　　When　his　glance　again　fell　on　the　lamps
that　were　sparsely　ranged　along　the　dreary　level　road；　his　eyes　were
in　a　state　which　showed　straw…like　motes　of　light　radiating　from
each　flame　into　the　surrounding　air。

On　the　other　side　of　the　way　Barnet　observed　a　man　under　an
umbrella；　walking　parallel　with　himself。　　Presently　this　man　left
the　footway；　and　gradually　converged　on　Barnet's　course。　　The　latter
then　saw　that　it　was　Charlson；　a　surgeon　of　the　town；　who　owed　him
money。　　Charlson　was　a　man　not　without　ability；　yet　he　did　not
prosper。　　Sundry　circumstances　stood　in　his　way　as　a　medical
practitioner：　　he　was　needy；　he　was　not　a　coddle；　he　gossiped　with
men　instead　of　with　women；　he　had　married　a　stranger　instead　of　one
of　the　town　young　ladies；　and　he　was　given　to　conversational
buffoonery。　　Moreover；　his　look　was　quite　erroneous。　　Those　only
proper　features　in　the　family　doctor；　the　quiet　eye；　and　the　thin
straight　passionless　lips　which　never　curl　in　public　either　for
laughter　or　for　scorn；　were　not　his；　he　had　a　full…curved　mouth；　and
a　bold　black　eye　that　made　timid　people　nervous。　　His　companions
were　what　in　old　times　would　have　been　called　boon　companionsan
expression　which；　though　of　irreproachable　root；　suggests
fraternization　carried　to　the　point　of　unscrupulousness。　　All　this
was　against　him　in　the　little　town　of　his　adoption。

Charlson　had　been　in　difficulties；　and　to　oblige　him　Barnet　had　put
his　name　to　a　bill；　and；　as　he　had　expected；　was　called　upon　to　meet
it　when　it　fell　due。　　It　had　been　only　a　matter　of　fifty　pounds；
which　Barnet　could　well　afford　to　lose；　and　he　bore　no　ill…will　to
the　thriftless　surgeon　on　account　of　it。　　But　Charlson　had　a　little
too　much　brazen　indifferentism　in　his　composition　to　be　altogether　a
desirable　acquaintance。

'I　hope　to　be　able　to　make　that　little　bill…business　right　with　you
in　the　course　of　three　weeks；　Mr。　Barnet；'　said　Charlson　with　hail…
fellow　friendliness。

Barnet　replied　good…naturedly　that　there　was　no　hurry。

This　particular　three　weeks　had　moved　on　in　advance　of　Charlson's
present　with　the　precision　of　a　shadow　for　some　considerable　time。

'I've　had　a　dream；'　Charlson　continued。　　Barnet　knew　from　his　tone
that　the　surgeon　was　going　to　begin　his　characteristic　nonsense；　and
did　not　encourage　him。　　'I've　had　a　dream；'　repeated　Charlson；　who
required　no　encouragement。　　'I　dreamed　that　a　gentleman；　who　has
been　very　kind　to　me；　married　a　haughty　lady　in　haste；　before　he　had
quite　forgotten　a　nice　little　girl　he　knew　before；　and　that　one　wet
evening；　like　the　present；　as　I　was　walking　up　the　harbour…road；　I
saw　him　come　out　of　that　dear　little　girl's　present　abode。'

Barnet　glanced　towards　the　speaker。　　The　rays　from　a　neighbouring
lamp　struck　through　the　drizzle　under　Charlson's　umbrella；　so　as
just　to　illumine　his　face　against　the　shade　behind；　and　show　that
his　eye　was　turned　up　under　the　outer　corner　of　its　lid；　whence　it
leered　with　impish　jocoseness　as　he　thrust　his　tongue　into　his
cheek。

'Come；'　said　Barnet　gravely；　'we'll　have　no　more　of　that。'

'No；　noof　course　not；'　Charlson　hastily　answered；　seeing　that　his
humour　had　carried　him　too　far；　as　it　had　done　many　times　before。
He　was　profuse　in　his　apologies；　but　Barnet　did　not　reply。　　Of　one
thing　he　was　certainthat　scandal　was　a　plant　of　quick　root；　and
that　he　was　bound　to　obey　Lucy's　injunction　for　Lucy's　own　sake。



CHAPTER　III



He　did　so；　to　the　letter；　and　though；　as　the　crocus　followed　the
snowdrop　and　the　daffodil　the　crocus　in　Lucy's　garden；　the　harbour…
road　was　a　not　unpleasant　place　to　walk　in；　Barnet's　feet　never　trod
its　stones；　much　less　approached　her　door。　　He　avoided　a　saunter
that　way　as　he　would　have　avoided　a　dangerous　dram；　and　took　his
airings　a　long　distance　northward；　among　severely　square　and　brown
ploughed　fields；　where　no　other　townsman　came。　　Sometimes　he　went
round　by　the　lower　lanes　of　the　borough；　where　the　rope…walks
stretched　in　which　his　family　formerly　had　share；　and　looked　at　the
rope…makers　walking　backwards；　overhung　by　apple…trees　and　bushes；
and　intruded　on　by　cows　and　calves；　as　if　trade　had　established
itself　there　at　considerable　inconvenience　to　Nature。

One　morning；　when　the　sun　was　so　warm　as　to　raise　a　steam　from　the
south…eastern　slopes　of　those　flanking　hills　that　looked　so　lovely
above　the　old　roofs；　but　made　every　low…chimneyed　house　in　the　town
as　smoky　as　Tophet；　Barnet　glanced　from　the　windows　of　the　town…
council　room　for　lack　of　interest　in　what　was　proceeding　within。
Several　members　of　the　corporation　were　present；　but　there　was　not
much　business　doing；　and　in　a　few　minutes　Downe　came　leisurely
across　to　him；　saying　that　he　seldom　saw　Barnet　now。

Barnet　owned　that　he　was　not　often　present。

Downe　looked　at　the　crimson　curtain　which　hung　down　beside　the
panes；　reflecting　its　hot　hues　into　their　faces；　and　then　out　of　the
window。　　At　that　moment　there　passed　along　the　street　a　tall
commanding　lady；　in　whom　the　solicitor　recognized　Barnet's　wife。
Barnet　had　done　the　same　thing；　and