camille (la dame aux camilias)(卡米勒)-第38节
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Two o'clock struck。 I still waited a little。 Only the sound of the bell
troubled the silence with its monotonous and rhythmical stroke。
At last I left the room； where every object had assumed that
melancholy aspect which the restless solitude of the heart gives to all its
surroundings。
In the next room I found Nanine sleeping over her work。 At the sound
of the door； she awoke and asked if her mistress had come in。
〃No； but if she comes in； tell her that I was so anxious that I had to go
to Paris。〃
〃At this hour？〃
〃Yes。
〃But how？ You won't find a carriage。〃
〃I will walk。〃
〃But it is raining。〃
〃No matter。〃
〃But madame will be coming back； or if she doesn't come it will be
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time enough in the morning to go and see what has kept her。 You will be
murdered on the way。〃
〃There is no danger； my dear Nanine； I will see you to…morrow。〃
The good girl went and got me a cloak； put it over my shoulders； and
offered to wake up Mme。 Arnould to see if a vehicle could be obtained；
but I would hear of nothing； convinced as I was that I should lose； in a
perhaps fruitless inquiry； more time than I should take to cover half the
road。 Besides； I felt the need of air and physical fatigue in order to cool
down the over… excitement which possessed me。
I took the key of the flat in the Rue d'Antin； and after saying good…bye
to Nanine； who came with me as far as the gate； I set out。
At first I began to run； but the earth was muddy with rain； and I
fatigued myself doubly。 At the end of half an hour I was obliged to stop；
and I was drenched with sweat。 I recovered my breath and went on。 The
night was so dark that at every step I feared to dash myself against one of
the trees on the roadside； which rose up sharply before me like great
phantoms rushing upon me。
I overtook one or two wagons； which I soon left behind。 A carriage
was going at full gallop toward Bougival。 As it passed me the hope came
to me that Marguerite was in it。 I stopped and cried out； 〃Marguerite！
Marguerite！〃 But no one answered and the carriage continued its course。 I
watched it fade away in the distance； and then started on my way again。 I
took two hours to reach the Barriere de l'Etoile。 The sight of Paris restored
my strength； and I ran the whole length of the alley I had so often walked。
That night no one was passing； it was like going through the midst of a
dead city。 The dawn began to break。 When I reached the Rue d'Antin the
great city stirred a little before quite awakening。 Five o'clock struck at the
church of Saint Roch at the moment when I entered Marguerite's house。 I
called out my name to the porter； who had had from me enough twenty…
franc pieces to know that I had the right to call on Mlle。 Gautier at five in
the morning。 I passed without difficulty。 I might have asked if Marguerite
was at home； but he might have said 〃No；〃 and I preferred to remain in
doubt two minutes longer； for； as long as I doubted； there was still hope。
I listened at the door； trying to discover a sound； a movement。 Nothing。
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The silence of the country seemed to be continued here。 I opened the door
and entered。 All the curtains were hermetically closed。 I drew those of the
dining…room and went toward the bed…room and pushed open the door。 I
sprang at the curtain cord and drew it violently。 The curtain opened； a faint
light made its way in。 I rushed to the bed。 It was empty。
I opened the doors one after another。 I visited every room。 No one。 It
was enough to drive one mad。
I went into the dressing…room； opened the window； and called
Prudence several times。 Mme。 Duvernoy's window remained closed。
I went downstairs to the porter and asked him if Mlle。 Gautier had
come home during the day。
〃Yes；〃 answered the man； 〃with Mme。 Duvernoy。〃
〃She left no word for me？〃
〃No。〃
〃Do you know what they did afterward？〃
〃They went away in a carriage。〃
〃What sort of a carriage？〃
〃A private carriage。〃
What could it all mean？
I rang at the next door。
〃Where are you going； sir？〃 asked the porter； when he had opened to
me。
〃To Mme。 Duvernoy's。〃
〃She has not come back。〃
〃You are sure？〃
〃Yes； sir； here's a letter even； which was brought for her last night and
which I have not yet given her。〃
And the porter showed me a letter which I glanced at mechanically。 I
recognised Marguerite's writing。 I took the letter。 It was addressed； 〃To
Mme。 Duvernoy； to forward to M。 Duval。〃
〃This letter is for me；〃 I said to the porter； as I showed him the
address。
〃You are M。 Duval？〃 he replied。
〃Yes。
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〃Ah！ I remember。 You often came to see Mme。 Duvernoy。〃
When I was in the street I broke the seal of the letter。 If a thunder…bolt
had fallen at my feet I should have been less startled than I was by what I
read。
〃By the time you read this letter； Armand； I shall be the mistress of
another man。 All is over between us。
〃Go back to your father； my friend； and to your sister； and there； by the
side of a pure young girl； ignorant of all our miseries； you will soon forget
what you would have suffered through that lost creature who is called
Marguerite Gautier； whom you have loved for an instant； and who owes to
you the only happy moments of a life which； she hopes； will not be very
long now。〃
When I had read the last word； I thought I should have gone mad。 For
a moment I was really afraid of falling in the street。 A cloud passed before
my eyes and my blood beat in my temples。 At last I came to myself a little。
I looked about me； and was astonished to see the life of others continue
without pausing at my distress。
I was not strong enough to endure the blow alone。 Then I remembered
that my father was in the same city； that I might be with him in ten
minutes； and that； whatever might be the cause of my sorrow； he would
share it。
I ran like a madman； like a thief； to the Hotel de Paris； I found the key
in the door of my father's room； I entered。 He was reading。 He showed so
little astonishment at seeing me； that it was as if he was expecting me。 I
flung myself into his arms without saying a word。 I gave him Marguerite's
letter； and； falling on my knees beside his bed； I wept hot tears。
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CHAPTER 23
When the current of life had resumed its course； I could not believe
that the day which I saw dawning would not be like those which had
preceded it。 There were moments when I fancied that some circumstance；
which I could not recollect； had obliged me to spend the night away from
Marguerite； but that； if I returned to Bougival； I should find her again as
anxious as I had been； and that she would ask me what had detained me
away from her so long。
When one's existence has contracted a habit； such as that of this love；
it seems impossible that the habit should be broken without at the same
time breaking all the other springs of life。 I was forced from time to time
to reread Marguerite's letter； in order to convince myself that I had not
been dreaming。
My body； succumbing to the moral shock； was incapable of movement。
Anxiety； the night walk； and the morning's news had prostrated me。 My
father profited by this total prostration of all my faculties to demand of me
a formal promise to accompany him。 I promised all that he asked； for I
was incapable of sustaining a discussion； and I needed some affection to
help me to live； after what had happened。 I was too thankful that my father
was willing to console me under such a calamity。
All that I remember is that on that day； about five o'clock； he took me
with him in a post…chaise。 Without a word to me； he had had my luggage
packed and put up behind the
