camille (la dame aux camilias)(卡米勒)-第33节
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CAMILLE （LA DAME AUX CAMILIAS）
Marguerite is in need of。〃
〃I have told you： thirty thousand francs。〃
〃And when does she require this sum？〃
〃Before the end of two months。〃
〃She shall have it。〃
Prudence shrugged her shoulders。
〃I will give it to you；〃 I continued； 〃but you must swear to me that you
will not tell Marguerite that I have given it to you。〃
〃Don't be afraid。〃
〃And if she sends you anything else to sell or pawn； let me know。〃
〃There is no danger。 She has nothing left。〃
I went straight to my own house to see if there were any letters from
my father。 There were four。
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CAMILLE （LA DAME AUX CAMILIAS）
CHAPTER 19
In his first three letters my father inquired the cause of my silence； in
the last he allowed me to see that he had heard of my change of life； and
informed me that he was about to come and see me。
I have always had a great respect and a sincere affection for my father。
I replied that I had been travelling for a short time； and begged him to let
me know beforehand what day he would arrive； so that I could be there to
meet him。
I gave my servant my address in the country； telling him to bring me
the first letter that came with the postmark of C。； then I returned to
Bougival。
Marguerite was waiting for me at the garden gate。 She looked at me
anxiously。 Throwing her arms round my neck； she said to me： 〃Have you
seen Prudence？〃
〃No。〃
〃You were a long time in Paris。〃
〃I found letters from my father to which I had to reply。〃
A few minutes afterward Nanine entered； all out of breath。 Marguerite
rose and talked with her in whispers。 When Nanine had gone out
Marguerite sat down by me again and said； taking my hand：
〃Why did you deceive me？ You went to see Prudence。〃
〃Who told you？〃
〃Nanine。〃
〃And how did she know？〃
〃She followed you。〃
〃You told her to follow me？〃
〃Yes。 I thought that you must have had a very strong motive for going
to Paris； after not leaving me for four months。 I was afraid that something
might happen to you； or that you were perhaps going to see another
woman。〃
〃Child！〃
〃Now I am relieved。 I know what you have done； but I don't yet know
what you have been told。〃
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CAMILLE （LA DAME AUX CAMILIAS）
I showed Marguerite my father's letters。
〃That is not what I am asking you about。 What I want to know is why
you went to see Prudence。〃
〃To see her。〃 〃That's a lie； my friend。〃
〃Well； I went to ask her if the horse was any better； and if she wanted
your shawl and your jewels any longer。〃
Marguerite blushed； but did not answer。
〃And；〃 I continued； 〃I learned what you had done with your horses；
shawls； and jewels。〃
〃And you are vexed？〃
〃I am vexed that it never occurred to you to ask me for what you were
in want of。〃
〃In a liaison like ours； if the woman has any sense of dignity at all； she
ought to make every possible sacrifice rather than ask her lover for money
and so give a venal character to her love。 You love me； I am sure； but you
do not know on how slight a thread depends the love one has for a woman
like me。 Who knows？ Perhaps some day when you were bored or worried
you would fancy you saw a carefully concerted plan in our liaison。
Prudence is a chatterbox。 What need had I of the horses？ It was an
economy to sell them。 I don't use them and I don't spend anything on their
keep； if you love me； I ask nothing more； and you will love me just as
much without horses； or shawls； or diamonds。〃
All that was said so naturally that the tears came to my eyes as I
listened。
〃But； my good Marguerite；〃 I replied； pressing her hands lovingly；
〃you knew that one day I should discover the sacrifice you had made； and
that the moment I discovered it I should allow it no longer。〃
〃But why？〃
〃Because； my dear child； I can not allow your affection for me to
deprive you of even a trinket。 I too should not like you to be able； in a
moment when you were bored or worried； to think that if you were living
with somebody else those moments would not exist； and to repent； if only
for a minute； of living with me。 In a few days your horses； your diamonds；
and your shawls shall be returned to you。 They are as necessary to you as
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CAMILLE （LA DAME AUX CAMILIAS）
air is to life； and it may be absurd； but I like you better showy than
simple。〃
〃Then you no longer love me。〃
〃Foolish creature！〃
〃If you loved me； you would let me love you my own way； on the
contrary； you persist in only seeing in me a woman to whom luxury is
indispensable； and whom you think you are always obliged to pay。 You are
ashamed to accept the proof of my love。 In spite of yourself； you think of
leaving me some day； and you want to put your disinterestedness beyond
risk of suspicion。 You are right； my friend； but I had better hopes。〃
And Marguerite made a motion to rise； I held her； and said to her：
〃I want you to be happy and to have nothing to reproach me for； that is
all。〃
〃And we are going to be separated！〃
〃Why； Marguerite； who can separate us？〃 I cried。
〃You； who will not let me take you on your own level； but insist on
taking me on mine； you； who wish me to keep the luxury in the midst of
which I have lived； and so keep the moral distance which separates us； you；
who do not believe that my affection is sufficiently disinterested to share
with me what you have； though we could live happily enough on it
together； and would rather ruin yourself； because you are still bound by a
foolish prejudice。 Do you really think that I could compare a carriage and
diamonds with your love？ Do you think that my real happiness lies in the
trifles that mean so much when one has nothing to love； but which become
trifling indeed when one has？ You will pay my debts； realize your estate；
and then keep me？ How long will that last？ Two or three months； and then
it will be too late to live the life I propose； for then you will have to take
everything from me； and that is what a man of honour can not do； while
now you have eight or ten thousand francs a year； on which we should be
able to live。 I will sell the rest of what I do not want； and with this alone I
will make two thousand francs a year。 We will take a nice little flat in
which we can both live。 In the summer we will go into the country； not to
a house like this； but to a house just big enough for two people。 You are
independent； I am free； we are young； in heaven's name； Armand； do not
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CAMILLE （LA DAME AUX CAMILIAS）
drive me back into the life I had to lead once！〃
I could not answer。 Tears of gratitude and love filled my eyes； and I
flung myself into Marguerite's arms。
〃I wanted；〃 she continued； 〃to arrange everything without telling you；
pay all my debts； and take a new flat。 In October we should have been
back in Paris； and all would have come out； but since Prudence has told
you all； you will have to agree beforehand； instead of agreeing afterward。
Do you love me enough for that？〃
It was impossible to resist such devotion。 I kissed her hands ardently；
and said：
〃I will do whatever you wish。〃
It was agreed that we should do as she had planned。 Thereupon； she
went wild with delight； danced； sang； amused herself with calling up
pictures of her new flat in all its simplicity； and began to consult me as to
its position and arrangement。 I saw how happy and proud she was of this
resolution； which seemed as if it would bring us into closer and closer
relationship； and I resolved to do my own share。 In an instant I decided the
whole course of my life。 I put my affairs in order； and made over to
Marguerite the income which had come to me from my mother； and which
seemed little enough in return for the s
