the soul of the far east-第3节

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our　view　even　those　headlands　of　hope　that；　like　beseeching　hands；　stretch　out　into　the　deep。

So　more　materially。　　If　individuality　be　a　delusion　of　the　mind；　what　motive　potent　enough　to　excite　endeavor　in　the　breast　of　an　ordinary　mortal　remains？　　Philosophers；　indeed；　might　still　work　for　the　advancement　of　mankind；　but　mankind　itself　would　not　continue　long　to　labor　energetically　for　what　should　profit　only　the　common　weal。　Take　away　the　stimulus　of　individuality；　and　action　is　paralyzed　at　once。　　For　with　most　men　the　promptings　of　personal　advantage　only　afford　sufficient　incentive　to　effort。　　Destroy　this　force；　then　any　consideration　due　it　lapses；　and　socialism　is　not　only　justified；　it　is　raised　instantly　into　an　axiom　of　life。　　The　community；　in　that　case；　becomes　itself　the　unit；　the　indivisible　atom　of　existence。　Socialism；　then　communism；　then　nihilism；　follow　in　inevitable　sequence。　　That　even　the　Far　Oriental；　with　all　his　numbing　impersonality；　has　not　touched　this　goal　may　at　least　suggest　that　individuality　is　a　fact。

But　first；　what　do　we　know　about　its　existence　ourselves？

Very　early　in　the　course　of　every　thoughtful　childhood　an　event　takes　place；　by　the　side　of　which；　to　the　child　himself；　all　other　events　sink　into　insignificance。　　It　is　not　one　that　is　recognized　and　chronicled　by　the　world；　for　it　is　wholly　unconnected　with　action。　　No　one　but　the　child　is　aware　of　its　occurrence；　and　he　never　speaks　of　it　to　others。　　Yet　to　that　child　it　marks　an　epoch。　So　intensely　individual　does　it　seem　that　the　boy　is　afraid　to　avow　it；　while　in　reality　so　universal　is　it　that　probably　no　human　being　has　escaped　its　influence。　　Though　subjective　purely；　it　has　more　vividness　than　any　external　event；　and　though　strictly　intrinsic　to　life；　it　is　more　startling　than　any　accident　of　fate　or　fortune。　This　experience　of　the　boy's；　at　once　so　singular　and　yet　so　general；　is　nothing　less　than　the　sudden　revelation　to　him　one　day　of　the　fact　of　his　own　personality。

Somewhere　about　the　time　when　sensation　is　giving　place　to　sensitiveness　as　the　great　self…educator；　and　the　knowledge　gained　by　the　five　bodily　senses　is　being　fused　into　the　wisdom　of　that　mental　one　we　call　common　sense；　the　boy　makes　a　discovery　akin　to　the　act　of　waking　up。　　All　at　once　he　becomes　conscious　of　himself；　and　the　consciousness　has　about　it　a　touch　of　the　uncanny。　　Hitherto　he　has　been　aware　only　of　matter；　he　now　first　realizes　mind。　　Unwarned；　unprepared；　he　is　suddenly　ushered　before　being；　and　stands　awe…struck　in　the　presence　ofhimself。

If　the　introduction　to　his　own　identity　was　startling；　there　is　nothing　reassuring　in　the　feeling　that　this　strange　acquaintanceship　must　last。　　For　continue　it　does。　　It　becomes　an　unsought　intimacy　he　cannot　shake　off。　　Like　to　his　own　shadow　he　cannot　escape　it。　To　himself　a　man　cannot　but　be　at　home。　　For　years　this　alter　ego　haunts　him；　for　he　imagines　it　an　idiosyncrasy　of　his　own；　a　morbid　peculiarity　he　dare　not　confide　to　any　one；　for　fear　of　being　thought　a　fool。　　Not　till　long　afterwards；　when　he　has　learned　to　live　as　a　matter　of　course　with　his　ever…present　ghost；　does　he　discover　that　others　have　had　like　familiars　themselves。

Sometimes　this　dawn　of　consciousness　is　preceded　by　a　long　twilight　of　soul…awakening；　but　sometimes；　upon　more　sensitive　and　subtler　natures；　the　light　breaks　with　all　the　suddenness　of　a　sunrise　at　the　equator；　revealing　to　the　mind's　eye　an　unsuspected　world　of　self　within。　　But　in　whatever　way　we　may　awake　to　it；　the　sense　of　personality；　when　first　realized；　appears　already；　like　the　fabled　Goddess　of　Wisdom；　full　grown　in　the　brain。　　From　the　moment　when　we　first　remember　ourselves　we　seem　to　be　as　old　as　we　ever　seem　to　others　afterwards　to　become。　　We　grow；　indeed；　in　knowledge；　in　wisdom；　in　experience；　as　our　years　increase；　but　deep　down　in　our　heart　of　hearts　we　are　still　essentially　the　same。　　To　be　sure；　people　pay　us　more　deference　than　they　did；　which　suggests　a　doubt　at　times　whether　we　may　not　have　changed；　small　boys　of　a　succeeding　generation　treat　us　with　a　respect　that　causes　us　inwardly　to　smile；　as　we　think　how　little　we　differ　from　them；　if　they　but　knew　it。　For　at　bottom　we　are　not　conscious　of　change　from　that　morning；　long　ago；　when　first　we　realized　ourselves。　　We　feel　just　as　young　now　as　we　felt　old　then。　　We　are　but　amused　at　the　world's　discrimination　where　we　can　detect　no　difference。

Every　human　being　has　been　thus　〃twice　born〃：　once　as　matter；　once　as　mind。　　Nor　is　this　second　birth　the　birthright　only　of　mankind。　All　the　higher　animals　probably；　possibly　even　the　lower　too；　have　experienced　some　such　realization　of　individual　identity。　　However　that　may　be；　certainly　to　all　races　of　men　has　come　this　revelation；　only　the　degree　in　which　they　have　felt　its　force　has　differed　immensely。　　It　is　one　thing　to　the　apathetic；　fatalistic　Turk；　and　quite　another　matter　to　an　energetic；　nervous　American。　　Facts；　fancies；　faiths；　all　show　how　wide　is　the　variance　in　feelings。　　With　them　no　introspective　＇greek＇cnzhi　seauton　overexcites　the　consciousness　of　self。　　But　with　us；　as　with　those　of　old　possessed　of　devils；　it　comes　to　startle　and　stays　to　distress。　　Too　apt　is　it　to　prove　an　ever…present；　undesirable　double。　　Too　often　does　it　play　the　part　of　uninvited　spectre　at　the　feast；　whose　presence　no　one　save　its　unfortunate　victim　suspects。　　The　haunting　horror　of　his　own　identity　is　to　natures　far　less　eccentric　than　Kenelm　Chillingly's　only　too　common　a　curse。　　To　this　companionship；　paradoxical　though　it　sound；　is　principally　due　the　peculiar　loneliness　of　childhood。　　For　nothing　is　so　isolating　as　a　persistent　idea　which　one　dares　not　confide。

And　yet；stranger　paradox　still；was　there　ever　any　one　willing　to　exchange　his　personality　for　another's？　　Who　can　imagine　foregoing　his　own　self？　　Nay；　do　we　not　cling　even　to　its　outward　appearance？　　Is　there　a　man　so　poor　in　all　that　man　holds　dear　that　he　does　not　keenly　resent　being　accidentally　mistaken　for　his　neighbor？　　Surely　there　must　be　something　more　than　mirage　in　this　deep…implanted；　widespread　instinct　of　human　race。

But　however　strong　the　conviction　now　of　one's　individuality；　is　there　aught　to　assure　him　of　its　continuance　beyond　the　confines　of　its　present　life？　　Will　it　awake　on　death's　morrow　and　know　itself；　or　will　it；　like　the　body　that　gave　it　lodgment；　disintegrate　again　into　indistinguishable　spirit　dust？　　Close　upon　the　heels　of　the　existing　consciousness　of　self　treads　the　shadow…like　doubt　of　its　hereafter。　　Will　analogy　help　to　answer　the　grewsome　riddle　of　the　Sphinx？　　Are　the　laws　we　have　learned　to　be　true　for　matter　true　also　for　mind？　　Matter　we　now　know　is　indestructible；　yet　the　form　of　it　with　which　we　once　were　so　fondly　familiar　vanishes　never　to　return。　Is　a　like　fate　to　be　the　lot　of　the　soul？　　That　mind　should　be　capable　of　annihilation　is　as　inconceivable　as　that　matter　should　cease　to　be。　　Surely　the　spirit　we　feel　existing　round　about　us　on　every　side　now　has　been　from　ever；　and　will　be　for　ever　to　come。　But　that　portion　of　it　which　we　each　know　as　self；　is　it　not　like　to　a　drop　of　rain　seen　in　its　falling　through　the　air？　　Indistinguishable　the　particle　was　in　the　cloud　whence　it　came；　indistinguishable　it　will　become　again　in　the　ocean　whither　it　is　bound。　　Its　personality　is　but　its　passing　phase　from　a　vast　impersonal　on　the　one　hand　to　an　equally　vast　impersonal　on　the　other。　　Thus　seers　preached　in　the　past；　so　modem　science　is　hinting　to…day。　　With　us　the　idea　seems　the　bitter　fruit　of　material　philosophy；　by　them　it　was　looked　upon　as　the　fairest　flower　of　their　faith。　　What　is　dreaded　now　as　the　impious　suggestion　of　the　godless　four　thousand　years　ago　was　reverenced　as　a　sacred　tenet　of　religion。

Shorter　even　than　his　short　threescore　years　and　ten　is　that　soul's　life　of　which　man　is　directly　cognizant。　　Bounded　by　two　seemingly　impersonal　states　is　the　personal　consciousness　of　which　he　is　made　aware：　the　one　the　infantile　existence　that　precedes　his　boyish　discovery；　the　other　the　gloom　that　grows　with　years；two　twilights　that　fringe　the　two　borders　of　his　day。　　But　with　the　Far　Oriental；　life　is　all　twilight。　　For　in　Japan　and　China　both　states　are　found　together。　　There；　side　by　side　with　the　present　unconsciousness　of　the　babe　exists　the　belief　in　a　coming　unconsciousness　for　the　man。　　So　inseparably　blended　are　the　two　that　the　known　truth　of　the　one　seems；　for　that　very　bond；　to　carry　with　it　the　credentials　of　the　other。　　Can　it　be　that　the　personal；　progressive　West　is　wrong；　and　the　impersonal；　impassive　East　right？　　Surely　not。　　Is　the　other　side　of　the　world　in　advance　of　us　in　mind…development；　even　as　it　precedes　us　in　the　time　of　day；　or　just　as　our　noon　is　its　night；　may　it　not　be　far　in　our　rear？　　Is　not　its　seeming　wisdom　rather　the　precociousness　of　what　is　destined　never　to　go　far？

Brought　suddenly　upon　such　a　civilization；　after　the　blankness　of　a　long　ocean　voyage；　one　is　reminded　instinctively　of　the　feelings　of　that　bewildered　individual　who；　after　a　dinner　at　which　he　had　eventually　ceased　to　be　himself；　was　by　way　of　pleasantry　left　out　overnight　in　a　graveyard；　on　their　way　home；　by　his　humorous