mark twain, a biography, 1907-1910-第45节

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caldron　which　the　natives；　ages　ago；　named　'Hale　mau　mau'the　abyss
wherein　they　were　wont　to　throw　the　remains　of　their　chiefs；　to　the　end
that　vulgar　feet　might　never　tread　above　them。　　We　stood　there；　at　dead
of　night；　a　mile　above　the　level　of　the　sea；　and　looked　down　a　thousand
feet　upon　a　boiling；　surging；　roaring　ocean　of　fire！shaded　our　eyes
from　the　blinding　glare；　and　gazed　far　away　over　the　crimson　waves　with　a
vague　notion　that　a　supernatural　fleet；　manned　by　demons　and　freighted
with　the　damned；　might　presently　sail　up　out　of　the　remote　distance；
started　when　tremendous　thunder…bursts　shook　the　earth；　and　followed　with
fascinated　eyes　the　grand　jets　of　molten　lava　that　sprang　high　up　toward
the　zenith　and　exploded　in　a　world　of　fiery　spray　that　lit　up　the　somber
heavens　with　an　infernal　splendor。

〃What　is　your　little　bonfire　of　Vesuvius　to　this？〃

My　ejaculation　roused　my　companion　from　his　reverie；　and　we　fell　into　a
conversation　appropriate　to　the　occasion　and　the　surroundings。　　We　came
at　last　to　speak　of　the　ancient　custom　of　casting　the　bodies　of　dead
chieftains　into　this　fearful　caldron；　and　my　comrade；　who　is　of　the　blood
royal；　mentioned　that　the　founder　of　his　race；　old　King　Kamehameha　the
Firstthat　invincible　old　pagan　Alexanderhad　found　other　sepulture
than　the　burning　depths　of　the　'Hale　mau　mau'。　　I　grew　interested　at
once；　I　knew　that　the　mystery　of　what　became　of　the　corpse　of　the　warrior
king　hail　never　been　fathomed；　I　was　aware　that　there　was　a　legend
connected　with　this　matter；　and　I　felt　as　if　there　could　be　no　more
fitting　time　to　listen　to　it　than　the　present。　　The　descendant　of　the
Kamehamehas　said：

The　dead　king　was　brought　in　royal　state　down　the　long；　winding　road　that
descends　from　the　rim　of　the　crater　to　the　scorched　and　chasm…riven　plain
that　lies　between　the　'Hale　mau　mau'　and　those　beetling　walls　yonder　in
the　distance。　　The　guards　were　set　and　the　troops　of　mourners　began　the
weird　wail　for　the　departed。　　In　the　middle　of　the　night　came　a　sound　of
innumerable　voices　in　the　air　and　the　rush　of　invisible　wings；　the
funeral　torches　wavered；　burned　blue；　and　went　out。　　The　mourners　and
watchers　fell　to　the　ground　paralyzed　by　fright；　and　many　minutes　elapsed
before　any　one　dared　to　move　or　speak；　for　they　believed　that　the　phantom
messengers　of　the　dread　Goddess　of　Fire　had　been　in　their　midst。　　When　at
last　a　torch　was　lighted　the　bier　was　vacantthe　dead　monarch　had　been
spirited　away！




APPENDIX　F

THE　INNOCENTS　ABROAD
（See　Chapter　lx）


NEW　YORK　〃HERALD〃　EDITORIAL　ON　THE　RETURN　OF　THE　〃QUAKER　CITY〃
PILGRIMAGE；　NOVEMBER　19；　1867

In　yesterday's　Herald　we　published　a　most　amusing　letter　from　the　pen　of
that　most　amusing　American　genius；　Mark　Twain；　giving　an　account　of　that
most　amusing　of　all　modern　pilgrimagesthe　pilgrimage　of　the　'Quaker
City'。　　It　has　been　amusing　all　through；　this　Quaker　City　affair。　　It
might　have　become　more　serious　than　amusing　if　the　ship　had　been　sold　at
Jaffa；　Alexandria；　or　Yalta；　in　the　Black　Sea；　as　it　appears　might　have
happened。　　In　such　a　case　the　passengers　would　have　been　more　effectually
sold　than　the　ship。　　The　descendants　of　the　Puritan　pilgrims　have；
naturally　enough；　some　of　them；　an　affection　for　ships；　but　if　all　that
is　said　about　this　religious　cruise　be　true　they　have　also　a　singularly
sharp　eye　to　business。　　It　was　scarcely　wise　on　the　part　of　the　pilgrims；
although　it　was　well　for　the　public；　that　so　strange　a　genius　as　Mark
Twain　should　have　found　admission　into　the　sacred　circle。　　We　are　not
aware　whether　Mr。　Twain　intends　giving　us　a　book　on　this　pilgrimage；　but
we　do　know　that　a　book　written　from　his　own　peculiar　standpoint；　giving
an　account　of　the　characters　and　events　on　board　ship　and　of　the　scenes
which　the　pilgrims　witnessed；　would　command　an　almost　unprecedented　sale。　
There　are　varieties　of　genius　peculiar　to　America。　　Of　one　of　these
varieties　Mark　Twain　is　a　striking　specimen。　　For　the　development　of　his
peculiar　genius　he　has　never　had　a　more　fitting　opportunity。　　Besides；
there　are　some　things　which　he　knows；　and　which　the　world　ought　to　know；
about　this　last　edition　of　the　Mayflower。






APPENDIX　G

MARK　TWAIN　AT　THE　CORRESPONDENTS　CLUB；　WASHINGTON

（See　Chapter　lxiii）

WOMAN

A　EULOGY　OF　THE　FAIR　SEX

The　Washington　Correspondents　Club　held　its　anniversary　on　Saturday
night。　　Mr。　Clemens；　better　known　as　Mark　Twain；　responded　to　the　toast；
〃Woman；　the　pride　of　the　professions　and　the　jewel　of　ours。〃　　He　said：

Mr。　President；I　do　not　know　why　I　should　have　been　singled　out　to
receive　the　greatest　distinction　of　the　eveningfor　so　the　office　of
replying　to　the　toast　to　woman　has　been　regarded　in　every　age。　
＇Applause。＇　I　do　not　know　why　I　have　received　this　distinction；　unless　it
be　that　I　am　a　trifle　less　homely　than　the　other　members　of　the　club。　
But；　be　this　as　it　may；　Mr。　President；　I　am　proud　of　the　position；　and
you　could　not　have　chosen　any　one　who　would　have　accepted　it　more　gladly；
or　labored　with　a　heartier　goodwill　to　do　the　subject　justice；　than　I。　
Because；　Sir；　I　love　the　sex。　　＇Laughter。＇　　I　love　all　the　women；　sir；
irrespective　of　age　or　color。　　＇Laughter。＇

Human　intelligence　cannot　estimate　what　we　owe　to　woman；　sir。　　She　sews
on　our　buttons　＇laughter＇；　she　mends　our　clothes　＇laughter＇；　she　ropes　us
in　at　the　church　fairs；　she　confides　in　us；　she　tells　us　whatever　she　can
find　out　about　the　private　affairs　of　the　neighbors；　she　gives　good
advice；　and　plenty　of　it；　she　gives　us　a　piece　of　her　mind　sometimesand
sometimes　all　of　it；　she　soothes　our　aching　brows；　she　bears　our
children。　（Ours　as　a　general　thing。）　　＇this　last　line　appears　in
Twain's　published　speeches　and　may　have　been　added　later。　　D。W。＇）　

In　all　relations　of　life；　sir；　it　is　but　just　and　a　graceful　tribute　to
woman　to　say　of　her　that　she　is　a　brick。　　＇Great　laughter。＇
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
Wheresoever　you　place　woman；　sirin　whatsoever　position　or　estateshe
is　an　ornament　to　that　place　she　occupies；　and　a　treasure　to　the　world。　
＇Here　Mr。　Twain　paused；　looked　inquiringly　at　his　hearers；　and　remarked
that　the　applause　should　come　in　at　this　point。　　It　came　in。　　Mr。　Twain
resumed　his　eulogy。＇　Look　at　the　noble　names　of　history！　　Look　at
Cleopatra！　　Look　at　Desdemona！　　Look　at　Florence　Nightingale！　　Look　at
Joan　of　Arc！　　Look　at　Lucretia　Borgia！　　＇Disapprobation　expressed。　
〃Well；〃　said　Mr。　Twain；　scratching　his　head；　doubtfully；　〃suppose　we　let
Lucretia　slide。〃＇　Look　at　Joyce　Heth！　　Look　at　Mother　Eve！　　I　repeat；
sir；　look　at　the　illustrious　names　of　history！　　Look　at　the　Widow
Machree！　　Look　at　Lucy　Stone！　　Look　at　Elizabeth　Cady　Stanton！　　Look　at
George　Francis　Train！　　＇Great　laughter。＇　And；　sir；　I　say　with　bowed　head
and　deepest　veneration；　look　at　the　mother　of　Washington！　　She　raised　a
boy　that　could　not　liecould　not　lie。　　＇Applause。＇　But　he　never　had　any
chance。　　It　might　have　been　different　with　him　if　he　had　belonged　to　a
newspaper　correspondents'　club。　　＇Laughter；　groans；　hisses；　cries　of　〃put
him　out。〃　　Mark　looked　around　placidly　upon　his　excited　audience；　and
resumed。＇

I　repeat；　sir；　that　in　whatsoever　position　you　place　a　woman　she　is　an
ornament　to　society　and　a　treasure　to　the　world。　　As　a　sweetheart　she　has
few　equals　and　no　superior　＇laughter＇；　as　a　cousin　she　is　convenient；　as
a　wealthy　grandmother　with　an　incurable　distemper　she　is　precious；　as　a
wet　nurse　she　has　no　equal　among　men！　　＇Laughter。＇

What；　sir；　would　the　people　of　this　earth　be　without　woman？　　They　would
be　scarce；　sir。　（Mighty　scarce。）　＇another　line　added　later　in　the
published　'Speeches'。　D。W。＇　　Then　let　us　cherish　her；　let　us　protect　her；
let　us　give　her　our　support；　our　encouragement；　our　sympathyourselves；
if　we　get　a　chance。　　＇Laughter。＇

But；　jesting　aside；　Mr。　President；　woman　is　lovable；　gracious；　kind　of
heart；　beautiful；　worthy　of　all　respect；　of　all　esteem；　of　all　deference。　
Not　any　here　will　refuse　to　drink　her　health　right　cordially；　for　each
and　every　one　of　us　has　personally　known；　loved；　and　honored　the　very
best　one　of　them　allhis　own　mother！　　＇Applause。＇






APPENDIX　H

ANNOUNCEMENT　FOR　LECTURE　OF　JULY　2；　1868

（See　Chapter　lxvi）

THE　PUBLIC　TO　MARK　TWAIN…CORRESPONDENCE

SAN　FRANCISCO；　June　30th。

MR。　MARK　TWAINDEAR　SIR；Hearing　that　you　are　about　to　sail　for　New
York　in　the　P。　M。　S。　S。　　Company's　steamer　of　the　6th　July；　to　publish　a
book；　and　learning　with　the　deepest　concern　that　you　propose　to　read　a
chapter　or　two　of　that　book　in　public　before　you　go；　we　take　this　method
of　expressing　our　cordial　desire　that　you　will　not。　　We　beg　and　implore
you　do　not。　　There　is　a　limit　to　human　endurance。

We　are　your　personal　friends。　　We　have　your　welfare　at　heart。　　We　desire
to　see　you　prosper。　　And　it　is　upon　these　accounts；　and　upon　these　only；
that　we　urge　you　to　desist　from　the　new　atrocity　you　contemplate。　　Yours
truly；

　　　　　60　names　including：　Bret　Harte；　Maj。…Gen。　Ord；　Maj。…Gen。　Halleck；
　　　　　The　Orphan　Asylum；　and　various　Benevolent　Societies；　Citizens　on
　　　　　Foot　and　Horseback；　and　1500　in　the　Steerage。



（REPLY）