mark twain, a biography, 1907-1910-第11节

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there　is　another　such　return　from　old　books　on　record。〃

This　was　said　in　an　undertone；　to　Clemens　only；　but　was　overheard　by　one
or　two　of　those　who　sat　nearest。　　Clemens　was　not　unwilling　to　repeat　it
for　the　benefit　of　all；　and　did　so。　　Howells　said：

〃A　statement　like　that　arouses　my　basest　passions。　　The　books　are　no
good；　it's　just　the　advertising　they　get。〃

Clemens　said：　〃Yes；　my　contract　compels　the　publisher　to　advertise。　　It
costs　them　two　hundred　dollars　every　time　they　leave　the　advertisement
out　of　the　magazines。〃

〃And　three　hundred　every　time　we　put　it　in；〃　said　Harvey。　　〃We　often
debate　whether　it　is　more　profitable　to　put　in　the　advertisement　or　to
leave　it　out。〃

The　talk　switched　back　to　plays　and　acting。　　Thomas　recalled　an　incident
of　Beerbohm　Tree's　performance　of　〃Hamlet。〃　　W。　S。　Gilbert；　of　light…
opera　celebrity；　was　present　at　a　performance；　and　when　the　play　ended
Mrs。　Tree　hurried　over　to　him　and　said：

〃Oh；　Mr。　Gilbert；　what　did　you　think　of　Mr。　Tree's　rendition　of　Hamlet？〃
〃Remarkable；〃　said　Gilbert。　　〃Funny　without　being　vulgar。〃

It　was　with　such　idle　tales　and　talk…play　that　the　afternoon　passed。　　Not
much　of　it　all　is　left　to　me；　but　I　remember　Howells　saying；　〃Did　it　ever
occur　to　you　that　the　newspapers　abolished　hell？　　Well；　they　didit　was
never　done　by　the　church。　　There　was　a　consensus　of　newspaper　opinion
that　the　old　hell　with　its　lake　of　fire　and　brimstone　was　an　antiquated
institution；　in　fact　a　dead　letter。〃　　And　again；　〃I　was　coming　down
Broadway　last　night；　and　I　stopped　to　look　at　one　of　the　street…venders
selling　those　little　toy　fighting　roosters。　　It　was　a　bleak；　desolate
evening；　nobody　was　buying　anything；　and　as　he　pulled　the　string　and　kept
those　little　roosters　dancing　and　fighting　his　remarks　grew　more　and　more
cheerless　and　sardonic。

〃'Japanese　game　chickens；'　he　said；　'pretty　toys；　amuse　the　children　with
their　antics。　　Child　of　three　can　operate　it。　　Take　them　home　for
Christmas。　　Chicken…fight　at　your　own　fireside。'　I　tried　to　catch　his　eye
to　show　him　that　I　understood　his　desolation　and　sorrow；　but　it　was　no
use。　　He　went　on　dancing　his　toy　chickens；　and　saying；　over　and　over；
'Chicken…fight　at　your　own　fireside。'〃

The　luncheon　over；　we　wandered　back　into　the　drawing…room；　and　presently
all　left　but　Colonel　Harvey。　　Clemens　and　the　Colonel　went　up　to　the
billiard…room　and　engaged　in　a　game　of　cushion　caroms；　at　twenty…five
cents　a　game。　　I　was　umpire　and　stakeholder；　and　it　was　a　most
interesting　occupation；　for　the　series　was　close　and　a　very　cheerful　one。　
It　ended　the　day　much　to　Mark　Twain's　satisfaction；　for　he　was　oftenest
winner。　　That　evening　he　said：

〃We　will　repeat　that　luncheon；　we　ought　to　repeat　it　once　a　month。　
Howells　will　be　gone；　but　we　must　have　the　others。　　We　cannot　have　a
thing　like　that　too　often。〃

There　was；　in　fact；　a　second　stag…luncheon　very　soon　after；　at　which
George　Riggs　was　present　and　that　rare　Irish　musician；　Denis　O'Sullivan。　
It　was　another　choice　afternoon；　with　a　mystical　quality　which　came　of
the　music　made　by　O'Sullivan　on　some　Hindu　reeds…pipes　of　Pan。　　But　we
shall　have　more　of　O'Sullivan　presentlyall　too　little；　for　his　days
were　few　and　fleeting。

Howells　could　not　get　away　just　yet。　　Colonel　Harvey；　who；　like　James
Osgood；　would　not　fail　to　find　excuse　for　entertainment；　chartered　two
drawing…room　cars；　and　with　Mrs。　Harvey　took　a　party　of　fifty…five　or
sixty　congenial　men　and　women　to　Lakewood　for　a　good…by　luncheon　to
Howells。　　It　was　a　day　borrowed　from　June；　warm　and　beautiful。

The　trip　down　was　a　sort　of　reception。　　Most　of　the　guests　were
acquainted；　but　many　of　them　did　not　often　meet。　　There　was　constant
visiting　back　and　forth　the　full　length　of　the　two　coaches。　　Denis
O'Sullivan　was　among　the　guests。　　He　looked　in　the　bloom　of　health；　and
he　had　his　pipes　and　played　his　mystic　airs；　then　he　brought　out　the　tin…
whistle　of　Ireland；　and　blew　such　rollicking　melodies　as　capering　fairies
invented　a　long　time　ago。　　This　was　on　the　train　going　down。

There　was　a　brief　program　following　the　light…hearted　feastingan
informal　program　fitting　to　that　sunny　day。　　It　opened　with　some
recitations　by　Miss　Kitty　Cheatham；　then　Colonel　Harvey　introduced
Howells；　with　mention　of　his　coming　journey。　　As　a　rule；　Howells　does　not
enjoy　speaking。　　He　is　willing　to　read　an　address　on　occasion；　but　he　has
owned　that　the　prospect　of　talking　without　his　notes　terrifies　him。　　This
time；　however；　there　was　no　reluctance；　though　he　had　prepared　no　speech。　
He　was　among　friends。　　He　looked　even　happy　when　he　got　on　his　feet；　and
he　spoke　like　a　happy　man。　　He　talked　about　Mark　Twain。　　It　was　all
delicate；　delicious　chaffing　which　showed　Howells　at　his　very　bestall
too　short　for　his　listeners。

Clemens；　replying；　returned　the　chaff；　and　rambled　amusingly　among　his
fancies；　closing　with　a　few　beautiful　words　of　〃Godspeed　and　safe　return〃
to　his　old　comrade　and　friend。

Then　once　more　came　Denis　and　his　pipes。　　No　one　will　ever　forget　his
part　of　the　program。　　The　little　samples　we　had　heard　on　the　train　were
expanded　and　multiplied　and　elaborated　in　a　way　that　fairly　swept　his
listeners　out　of　themselves　into　that　land　where　perhaps　Denis　himself
wanders　playing　now；　for　a　month　later；　strong　and　lusty　and　beautiful　as
he　seemed　that　day；　he　suddenly　vanished　from　among　us　and　his　reeds　were
silent。　　It　never　occurred　to　us　then　that　Denis　could　die；　and　as　he
finished　each　melody　and　song　there　was　a　shout　for　a　repetition；　and　I
think　we　could　have　sat　there　and　let　the　days　and　years　slip　away
unheeded；　for　time　is　banished　by　music　like　that；　and　one　wonders　if　it
might　not　even　divert　death。

It　was　dark　when　we　crossed　the　river　homeward；　the　myriad　lights　from
heaven…climbing　windows　made　an　enchanted　city　in　the　sky。　　The　evening；
like　the　day；　was　warm；　and　some　of　the　party。　　left　the　ferry…cabin　to
lean　over　and　watch　the　magic　spectacle；　the　like　of　which　is　not　to　be
found　elsewhere　on　the　earth。





CCLXIV

〃CAPTAIN　STORMFIELD〃　IN　PRINT

During　the　forty　years　or　so　that　had　elapsed　since　the　publication　of
the　〃Gates　Ajar〃　and　the　perpetration　of　Mark　Twain's　intended　burlesque；
built　on　Captain　Ned　Wakeman's　dream；　the　Christian　religion　in　its　more
orthodox　aspects　had　undergone　some　large　modifications。　　It　was　no
longer　regarded　as　dangerous　to　speak　lightly　of　hell；　or　even　to　suggest
that　the　golden　streets　and　jeweled　architecture　of　the　sky　might　be
regarded　as　symbols　of　hope　rather　than　exhibits　of　actual　bullion　and
lapidary　construction。　　Clemens　re…read　his　extravaganza；　Captain
Stoymfields　Visit　to　Heaven；　gave　it　a　modernizing　touch　here　and　there；
and　handed　it　to　his　publishers；　who　must　have　agreed　that　it　was　no
longer　dangerous；　for　it　was　promptly　accepted　and　appeared　in　the
December　and　January　numbers　（1907…8）　of　Harper's　Magazine；　and　was　also
issued　as　a　small　book。　　If　there　were　any　readers　who　still　found　it
blasphemous；　or　even　irreverent；　they　did　not　say　so；　the　letters　that
cameand　they　were　a　good　manyexpressed　enjoyment　and　approval；　also
（some　of　them）　a　good　deal　of　satisfaction　that　Mark　Twain　〃had　returned
to　his　earlier　form。〃

The　publication　of　this　story　recalled　to　Clemens's　mind　another　heresy
somewhat　similar　which　he　had　written　during　the　winter　of　1891　and　1892
in　Berlin。　　This　was　a　dream　of　his　own；　in　which　he　had　set　out　on　a
train　with　the　evangelist　Sam　Jones　and　the　Archbishop　of　Canterbury　for
the　other　world。　　He　had　noticed　that　his　ticket　was　to　a　different
destination　than　the　Archbishop's；　and　so；　when　the　prelate　nodded　and
finally　went　to　sleep；　he　changed　the　tickets　in　their　hats　with
disturbing　results。　　Clemens　thought　a　good　deal　of　this　fancy　when　he
wrote　it；　and　when　Mrs。　Clemens　had　refused　to　allow　it　to　be　printed　he
had　laboriously　translated　it　into　German；　with　some　idea　of　publishing
it　surreptitiously；　but　his　conscience　had　been　too　much　for　him。　　He　had
confessed；　and　even　the　German　version　had　been　suppressed。

Clemens　often　allowed　his　fancy　to　play　with　the　idea　of　the　orthodox
heaven；　its　curiosities　of　architecture；　and　its　employments　of
continuous　prayer；　psalm…singing；　and　harpistry。

〃What　a　childish　notion　it　was；〃　he　said；　〃and　how　curious　that　only　a
little　while　ago　human　beings　were　so　willing　to　accept　such　fragile
evidences　about　a　place　of　so　much　importance。　　If　we　should　find
somewhere　to…day　an　ancient　book　containing　an　account　of　a　beautiful　and
blooming　tropical　Paradise　secreted　in　the　center　of　eternal　icebergsan
account　written　by　men　who　did　not　even　claim　to　have　seen　it　themselves
no　geographical　society　on　earth　would　take　any　stock　in　that　book；　yet
that　account　would　be　quite　as　authentic　as　any　we　have　of　heaven。　　If
God　has　such　a　place　prepared　for　us；　and　really　wanted　us　to　know　it；　He
could　have　found　some　better　way　than　a　book　so　liable　to　alterations　and
misinterpretation。　　God　has　had　no　trouble　to　prove　to　man　the　laws　of
the　constellations　and　the　construction　of　the　world；　and　such　things　as
that；　none　of　which　agree　with　His　so…called　book。　　A