the complete plays-第96节
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Holiday
All unknown；
And alone
Ha Ha Ha。
TUTTI。 Here's a pretty tale。
＇The gods； including those who have lately entered in procession
group themselves on rising ground at back。 The Thespians kneeling
bid them farewell。＇
ACT II
SCENE…the same scene as in Act I with the exception that in place
of the ruins that filled the foreground of the stage； the
interior of a magnificent temple is seen showing the background
of the scene of Act I； through the columns of the portico at the
back。 High throne。 L。U。E。 Low seats below it。 All the substitute
gods and goddesses ＇that is to say； Thespians＇ are discovered
grouped in picturesque attitudes about the stage； eating and
drinking； and smoking and singing the following verses。
CHO。 Of all symposia
The best by half
Upon Olympus； here await us。
We eat ambrosia。
And nectar quaff；
It cheers but don't inebriate us。
We know the fallacies；
Of human food
So please to pass Olympian rosy；
We built up palaces；
Where ruins stood；
And find them much more snug and cosy。
SILL。 To work and think； my dear；
Up here would be；
The height of conscientious folly。
So eat and drink； my dear；
I like to see；
Young people gayyoung people jolly。
Olympian food my love；
I'll lay long odds；
Will please your lipsthose rosy portals；
What is the good； my love
Of being gods；
If we must work like common mortals？
CHO。 Of all symposia。。。etc。
＇Exeunt all but Nicemis； who is dressed as Diana and Pretteia；
who is dressed as Venus。 They take Sillimon's arm and bring him
down＇
SILL。 Bless their little hearts； I can refuse them nothing。 As
the Olympian stage…manager I ought to be strict with them and
make them do their duty； but i can't。 Bless their little hearts；
when I see the pretty little craft come sailing up to me with a
wheedling smile on their pretty little figure…heads； I can't turn
my back on 'em。 I'm all bow； though I'm sure I try to be stern。
PRET。 You certainly are a dear old thing。
SILL。 She says I'm a dear old thing。 Deputy Venus says I'm a
dear old thing。
NICE。 It's her affectionate habit to describe everybody in those
terms。 I am more particular； but still even I am bound to admit
that you are certainly a very dear old thing。
SILL。 Deputy Venus says I'm a dear old thing； and Deputy Diana
who is much more particular； endorses it。 Who could be severe
with such deputy divinities。
PRET。 Do you know； I'm going to ask you a favour。
SILL。 Venus is going to ask me a favour。
PRET。 You see； I am Venus。
SILL。 No one who saw your face would doubt it。
NICE。 ＇aside＇ No one who knew her character would。
PRET。 Well Venus； you know； is married to Mars。
SILL。 To Vulcan； my dear； to Vulcan。 The exact connubial relation
of the different gods and goddesses is a point on which we must
be extremely particular。
PRET。 I beg your pardonVenus is married to Mars。
NICE。 If she isn't married to Mars； she ought to be。
SILL。 Then that decides itcall it married to Mars。
PRET。 Married to Vulcan or married to Mars； what does it signify？
SILL。 My dear； it's a matter on which I have no personal feeling
whatever。
PRET。 So that she is married to someone。
SILL。 Exactly。 So that she is married to someone。 Call it married
to Mars。
PRET。 Now here's my difficulty。 Presumptios takes the place of
Mars； and Presumptios is my father。
SILL。 Then why object to Vulcan？
PRET。 Because Vulcan is my grandfather。
SILL。 But； my dear； what an objection。 You are playing a part
till the real gods return。 That's all。 Whether you are supposed
to be married to your fatheror your grandfather； what does it
matter？ This passion for realism is the curse of the stage。
PRET。 That's all very well； but I can't throw myself into a part
that has already lasted a twelvemonth； when I have to make love
to my father。 It interferes with my conception of the
characters。 It spoils the part。
SILL。 Well； well。 I'll see what can be done。 ＇Exit Pretteia；
L。U。E。） That's always the way with beginners； they've no
imaginative power。 A true artist ought to be superior to such
considerations。 ＇Nicemis comes down R。＇ Well； Nicemis； I should
say； Diana； what's wrong with you？ Don't you like your part？
NICE。 Oh； immensely。 It's great fun。
SILL。 Don't you find it lonely out by yourself all night？
NICE。 Oh； but I'm not alone all night。
SILL。 But； I don't want to ask any injudicious questions； but who
accompanies you？
NICE。 Who？ Why Sparkeion； of course。
SILL。 Sparkeion？ Well； but Sparkeion is Phoebus Apollo ＇enter
Sparkeion＇ He's the sun； you know。
NICE。 Of course he is。 I should catch my death of cold； in the
night air； if he didn't accompany me。
SPAR。 My dear Sillimon； it would never do for a young lady to be
out alone all night。 It wouldn't be respectable。
SILL。 There's a good deal of truth in that。 But stillthe sun
at nightI don't like the idea。 The original Diana always went
out alone。
NICE。 I hope the original Diana is no rule for me。 After all；
what does it matter？
SILL。 To be surewhat does it matter？
SPAR。 The sun at night； or in the daytime。
SILL。 So that he shines。 That's all that's necessary。 ＇Exit
Nicemis； R。U。E。＇ But poor Daphne； what will she say to this。
SPAR。 Oh； Daphne can console herself； young ladies soon get over
this sort of thing。 Did you never hear of the young lady who was
engaged to Cousin Robin？
SILL。 Never。
SPAR。 Then I'll sing it to you。
Little maid of Arcadee
Sat on Cousin Robin's knee；
Thought in form and face and limb；
Nobody could rival him。
He was brave and she was fair；
Truth they made a pretty paid。
Happy little maiden she
Happy maid of Arcadee。
Moments fled as moments will
Happily enough； until
After； say； a month or two；
Robin did as Robins do。
Weary of his lover's play；
Jilted her and went away；
Wretched little maiden； she
Wretched maid of Arcadee。
To her little home she crept；
There she sat her down and wept；
Maiden wept as maidens will
Grew so thin and paleuntil
Cousin Richard came to woo。
Then again the roses grew。
Happy little maiden she
Happy maid of Arcadee。 ＇Exit Sparkeion＇
SILL。 Well Mercury； my boy； you've had a year's experience of us
here。 How do we do it？ I think we're rather an improvement on the
original godsdon't you？
MER。 Well； you see； there's a good deal to be said on both sides
of the question； you are certainly younger than the original
gods； and； therefore； more active。 On the other hand； they are
certainly older than you； and have； therefore； more experience。
On the whole I prefer you； because your mistakes amuse me。
Olympus is now in a terrible muddle；
The deputy deities all are at fault
They splutter and splash like a pig in a puddle
And dickens a one of 'em's earning his salt。
For Thespis as Jove is a terrible blunder；
Too nervous and timidtoo easy and weak
Whenever he's called on to lighten or thunder；
The thought of it keeps him awake for a week。
Then mighty Mars hasn't the pluck of a parrot。
When left in the dark he will quiver and quail；
And Vulcan has arms that would snap like a carrot；
Before he could drive in a tenpenny nail。
Then Venus's freckles are very repelling；
And Venus should not have a quint in her eyes；
The learned Minerva is weak in her spelling；
And scatters her h's all over the skies。
Then Pluto in kindhearted tenderness erring；
Can't make up his mind to let anyone die
The Times has a paragraph ever recurring；
〃Remarkable incidence of longevity。〃
On some it has some as a serious onus；
to others it's quite an advantagein short；
While ev're life office declares a big bonus；
The poor undertakers are all in the court。
Then Cupid； the rascal； forgetting his trade is
To make men and women impartially smart；
Will only shoot at pretty young ladies；
And never takes aim at a bachelor's heart。
The results of this freakor whatever you term it
Should cover the wicked young scamp with disgrace；
While ev'ry young man is as shy as a hermit；
Young ladies are popping all over the place。
This wouldn't much matterfor bashful and shymen；
When skillfully handled are certain to fall；
But； alas； that determined young bachelor Hymen
Refuses to wed anybody at all。
He swears that Love's flame is the vilest of arsons；
And looks upon marriage as quite a mistake；
Now what in the world's to become of the parsons；
And what of the artist who sugars the cake？
In short； you will
