miss civilization(文明小姐)-第4节
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and hands box to him。） Have a cigar？
HATCH： （takes cigar） Thanks。
ALICE： （standing with hand on back of chair） Now； I want to ask you
some questions。 You are an intelligent man。 Of course； you must be； or
you couldn't have kept out of jail for twenty years。 To get on in your
business； a man must be intelligent； and he must have nerve； and courage。
Nowwith those qualities； why； may I ask why are you so stupid as to be
a burglar？
HARRY： Stupid！
REDDY： Well； I like that！
HATCH： Stupid？ Why； I make a living at it。
ALICE： How much of a living？
HATCH： Ten thousand a year。
ALICE： Ten thousandwell； suppose you made FIFTY thousand。
What good is even a hundred thousand for ONE year； if to get it you risk
going to prison for twenty years？ That's not sensible。 Merely as a
business proposition； to take the risk you do for ten thousand dollars is
stupid isn't it？ I can understand a man's risking twenty years of his life
for some thingsa man like Peary or Dewey； or Santos…Dumont。 They
took big risks for big prizes。 But there's thousands of men in this country；
not half as clever as you are； earning ten thousand a yearwithout any risk
of going to jail。 None of THEM is afraid to go out in public with his
wife and children。 THEY'RE not afraid to ask a policeman what time it
is。 They don't have to wear black masks； nor ruin their beautiful
complexions with burnt cork。
REDDY： Ah； go on。 Who'd give ME a job？
ALICE： Whom did you ever ask for one？
REDDY： （to HARRY） Pass me some more of that pie like mother used
to make。
HATCH： Yes； there are clerks and shopkeepers working behind a
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counter twenty…four hours a day； but they don't make ten thousand a year；
and no one ever hears of THEM。 There's no FAME in their job。
ALICE： Fame！ Oh； how interesting。 Are youa celebrity？
HATCH： I'm quite as well known as I care to be。 Now； tomorrow； all
the papers will be talking about this。 There'll be columns about us three。
No one will know we are the ones they're talking about
REDDY： I hope not。
HATCH： But the men in our profession will know。 And they'll say；
〃That was a neat job of So…and…so's last night。〃 That's fame。 Why；
we've got a reputation from one end of this country to the other。
HARRY： That's right！ There's some of us just as well known as
Mister SantosDumont。
REDDY： And we fly just as high； too。
ALICE： （to HATCH） I suppose YOUI suppose you're quite a
FAMOUS burglar？
REDDY： Him？ Why； he's as well known as Billy the Kid。
ALICE： Billy the kid； really！ He sounds SO attractive。 But I'm
afraidI don't thinkthat I ever heard of HIM。
REDDY： Never heard of Billy the Kid？ What do you think of that？
HATCH： Well； then； I'm as well known as 〃Brace〃 Phillips； the
Manhattan Bank robber。
REDDY： SURE he is。
HATCH： Don't tell me you never heard of him？
ALICE： I'm afraid not。
HATCH： Why； he's a head…liner。 He's as well known as George Post。
Coppy Farrell？ Billy Porter？
ALICE： No。 There you are。 Now； you claim there is fame in this
profession； and you have named five men who are at the top of it； and I've
never heard of one of them。 And I read the papers； too。
REDDY： Well； there's OTHER ladies who have heard of us。 Real
ladies。 When I was doing my last bit in jail； I got a thousand letters from
ladies asking for me photograph； and offering to marry me。
ALICE： Really？ Well； that only proves that menAS HUSBANDS
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are more desirable in jail than out。 （To HATCH） No； it's a poor life。
HATCH： It's a poor life you people lead with us to worry you。
There's seventy millions of you in the United States； and only a few of us；
and yet we keep you guessing all the year round。 Why； we're the last
thing you think of at night when you lock the doors； we're the first thing
you think of in the morning when you feel for the silver basket。 We're
just a few up against seventy millions。 I tell you there's fame and big
money and a free life in my business。
ALICE： Yes； it's a free life until you go to jail。 It's this way。 You're
barbarians； and there's no place for you in a civilized community except
in jail。 Everybody is working against you。 Every city has its police
force；almost every house nowadays has a private watchman。 And if we
want to raise a hue and cry after you； there are the newspapers； and the
telegraph； and the telephone （nods at telephone） and the cables all over
the
HATCH： （Grimly） Thank you。 One moment； please。 （Throws open
overcoat； showing that it is lined with burglars' jimmies； chisels； and
augers。。）
ALICE： My！ What an interesting coat。 It looks like a tool chest。
Just the coat for an automobile trip。
HATCH： Harry； cut those telephone wires。 （Hands barbed…wire cutter
to HARRY。 To ALICE） Thank you for reminding me。
ALICE： Oh； not at all。 You've nothing to thank me for。 （HARRY
goes to telephone。 To HARRY） Don't make a noise doing that。 Don't
wake my mother。 （To HATCH） She's nervous； and she's ill； and if you
wake her； or frighten her； I'll keep the police after you until every one of
you is in jail。
HATCH： You won't keep after us very far when I've tied you up。
Bring me those curtain cords； Harry。
ALICE： Oh； really； that's too ridiculous。 （Listens apprehensively）
HATCH： Sorry I had to bust up your still alarm； but after we go； we
can't have you chatting with the police。 If you hadn't so kindly given me
a tip about the telephone； I might have gone off and clean forgot that。
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（HARRY takes curtain cords from window curtains。）
REDDY： I'm afraid pretty polly talked too much that time。 We ain't
all stupid。
ALICE： No； so I see； so I see。 It was careless of me。 But
everybody you call upon may not be so careless。
HATCH： Well； I've won out for twenty years。 I've never been in jail。
ALICE： Don't worry。 You're young。 I told you you looked young。
Your time is coming。 In these days there's no room for burglars。 You
belong to the days of stage…coaches。 You're old…fashioned now。 You're
trying to fight civilization； that's what you're trying to do。 You may keep
ahead for a time； but in a long race I'll back civilization to win。
HATCH： Is that so？ Well； Miss Civilization； you've had your say；
and I hope you feel better。 （To HARRY） Give me that silk muffler of yours。
（To ALICE） If civilization is going to help you； it's got to hurry。
ALICE： You don't mean to say you really are going to gag me？
HATCH： I am。
ALICE： My！ But I shall look silly。 （With her face turned right she
listens apprehensively。）
HARRY： （Coming down with curtain cords； and taking muffler from
his pocket） I've got the stuff in this muffler。
HATCH： Well； give me that； too。 （Shows inside coat pocket） I'll put it
in the safe。
（HARRY places muffler on table； exposing jewelry。）
HATCH： （begins placing the ornaments one at a time in his pocket。
To ALICE。） What is it？ What did you hear？
ALICE： II thought I heard my mother moving about。
HATCH： Well； she'd better not move about。
ALICE： （Fiercely） You'd better not wake her。 （Sees the jewels。） Oh！
Look at the 〃graft；〃 or is it 〃swag？〃 Which is it？
HATCH： （To HARRY） Cover em up； cover it up。
（HARRY tries to hide the jewels with one hand； while he passes a
lad
