miss civilization(文明小姐)-第3节
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and ask you to be as quiet as possible。 My mother is not at all well。
（Takes cigar box off table。） Excuse me； you've got the wrong cigars。
Those are the cigars father keeps for his friends。 Those he smokes he
hides over here。 （Places box on buffet and takes out a larger box； with
partitions for cigars； matches； and cigarettes。 As she moves about；
REDDY keeps her well in the light of the lantern。） Try those。 I'm afraid
you've a very poor supper。 When father is away； we have such a small
family。 I can't see what you'vewould you mind taking that light out of
my eyes； and pointing it at that tray？
HATCH： （sharply） Don't you do it。 Keep the gun on her。
ALICE： Oh； I don't mind his pointing the gun at me； so long as he
does not point that light at me。 It's mostembarrassing。 （Sternly。） Turn it
down there； please。 （REDDY lets light fall on tray。） Why； that's cooking
sherry you've got。 You can't drink THAT！ Let me get you some
whiskey。
REDDY： （covering her with lantern） No； you don't。 That's not
whiskey。 It's benzine。
ALICE： You don't mean to say that that benzine bottle is there STILL？
I told Jane to take it away。
REDDY： （dryly） Well； Jane didn't do it。
ALICE： Now； isn't that just like Jane？ I told her it might set fire to
the house and burn us alive。
REDDY： It nearly burned me alive。
ALICE： I'm so sorry。 （Takes from buffet a tray holding whiskey bottle；
siphon； and three glasses。） Here； this is what you want。 But； perhaps you
don't like Scotch。
HATCH： Don't you touch that； Reddy。 （Returns to chair at left of
table。）
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REDDY： Why not？
ALICE： （pours whiskey into a glass） Yes； why not？ It's not poison。
There's nothing wrong with this bottle。 If you're afraid； I'll prove it to
you。 Just to show you there's not a trace of hard feelings。 （Drinks and
coughs violently。）
REDDY： （sympathetically） SHE'S got the benzine bottle； too。
ALICE： No。 I'm not quite used to that。 （To HARRY） Excuse me； but
aren't you getting tired holding that big pistol？ Don't you think you
might put it down now； and help me serve this supper？ （HARRY does not
move。） No？ Well； then； let the colored gentleman help me。 （HARRY and
REDDY wheel sharply； each pointing his revolver。）
REDDY： Colored man！ Where？
HARRY： Colored man！ It's a trap！
（Seeing no one； they turn。）
ALICE： （to REDDY） Oh； pardon me。 Aren't you a colored person？
REDDY： Me！ Colored？ You never see a colored man with hair like
that； did you？ （Points lantern at his head。） This isn't my real face； lady。
Why； out of office hours； I've a complexion like cream and roses。
（Indignantly。） Colored man！
ALICE： I beg your pardon； but I can't see very well。 Don't you think
it would be more cheerful if we had a little more light？
HATCH： No！ （To REDDY。） Drop that。 We've got to go。 （To ALICE。）
And before we go； I've got to fix you。
ALICE： Fix mehow 〃fix〃 me？
HATCH： I'm sorry； Miss； but it's your own fault。 You shouldn't have
tried to see us。 Now that you HAVE； before we leave； I've got to tie you
to a chairand gag you。
ALICE： Oh； reallyall of that？
HATCH： I can't have you raising the neighborhood until we get well
away。
ALICE： I see。 ButgaggedI'll look so foolish。
REDDY： Well； there's no hurry。 We won't get well away until I've
had something to eat。
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ALICE： Quite right。 （To Hatch。） You can tie me in a chair later； Mr。
_______。 But now you must remember that I am your hostess。 （To
REDDY。） You'll find plates in the pantry； please。
REDDY： Oh； I don't use them things。
ALICE： You'll use 〃them things〃 when you eat with me。 Go； do as I
tell you； please。 （REDDY exits。。） And youput away that silly gun and
help him。
HATCH： Stay where you are。
HARRY： Oh； what's the rush； governor？ She can't hurt nobody。
And I'm near starved； too。 （Exit into pantry。）
HATCH： This is the last time I take YOU out。
ALICE： （arranging the food upon the table） Now； why are you so
peevish to everybody？ Why don't you be sociable； and take some supper？
（Glances at sideboard。） You seem to have taken everything else。 Oh； that
reminds me。 Would you object to loaning me aboutfour； sixabout six
of our knives and forks？ Just for the supper。 I suppose we can borrow
from the neighbors for breakfast。 Unless you've been calling on the
neighbors； too。
HATCH： Oh； anything to oblige a lady。 （Threateningly。） But no tricks；
now！
ALICE： Oh； I can't promise that； because I mightn't be able to keep my
promise。
（HATCH brings silver knives and forks from the bag。）
HATCH： I'll risk all the tricks you know。 Nobody's got much the
better of me in the last twenty years。
ALICE： Have you been a burglar twenty years？ You must have
begun very young。 I can't see your face very well； but I shouldn't say you
wereover forty。 Do take that mask off。 It looks sounsociable。
Don't be afraid of me。 I've a perfectly shocking memory for faces。
Now； I'm sure that under that unbecoming and terrifying exterior you are
hiding a kind and fatherly countenance。 Am I right？ （Laughs。） Why do
you wear it？
HATCH： （roughly） To keep my face warm。
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ALICE： Oh； pardon me； my mistake。
（A locomotive whistle is heard at a distance。 ALICE listens eagerly。
As the whistle dies away and is not repeated； her face shows her
disappointment。）
HATCH： What was that？ There's no trains this time of night。
ALICE： （speaking partly to herself） It was a freight train； going the
other way。
HATCH： （suspiciously） The other way？ The other way from where？
ALICE： From where it started。 Do you know； I've always wanted to
meet a burglar。 But it's so difficult。 They go out so seldom。
HATCH： Yes； and they arrive so late。
ALICE： （laughingly） Now； that's much better。 It's so nice of you to
have a sense of humor。 While you're there； just close those blinds； please；
so that the neighbors can't see what scandalous hours we keep。 And then
you can make a light。 This is much too gloomy for a supper party。
HATCH： （closing shutters） Yes； if those were shut it might be safer。
（He closes shutters and turns on the two electric lights。 REDDY and
HARRY enter； carrying plates。）
HARRY： We aren't regular waiters； miss； but we think we're pretty
good for amateurs。
REDDY： We haven't forgot nothing。 Not even napkins。 Have some
napkins？
（Places a pile of folded napkins in front of ALICE。 Then sits at head
of table； HARRY to lower right of table。 ALICE moves her chair away
from the table； but keeping REDDY on her right。 HATCH sits still
further away from the table on her left。）
ALICE： Thanks。 Put the plates down there。 And may I help you to
some
REDDY： （taking food in fingers） Oh； we'll help ourselves。
ALICE： Of course you're accustomed to helping yourselves； aren't you？
（To HATCH。） Won't you join them？
HATCH： No。
（Through the scene which follows； REDDY and HARRY continue to
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eat and drink heartily。）
ALICE： No？ Well； then； while they're having supper； you and I will
talk。 If you're going to gag me soon； I want to talk while I can。 （Rises
and hands box to him。） Have a cigar？
HATCH： （takes ci
