madame bovary(包法利夫人)-第64节

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


Then；　carried　away　as　by　a　rushing　torrent；　she　soon　began　to
recall　the　day　before。
〃What　time　is　it？〃　she　asked。
Mere　Rollet　went　out；　raised　the　fingers　of　her　right　hand　to
that　side　of　the　sky　that　was　brightest；　and　came　back　slowly；
saying
〃Nearly　three。〃
〃Ahl　thanks；　thanks！〃
For　he　would　come；　he　would　have　found　some　money。　But　he　would；
perhaps；　go　down　yonder；　not　guessing　she　was　here；　and　she　told
the　nurse　to　run　to　her　house　to　fetch　him。
〃Be　quick！〃
〃But；　my　dear　lady；　I'm　going；　I'm　going！〃
She　wondered　now　that　she　had　not　thought　of　him　from　the　first。
Yesterday　he　had　given　his　word；　he　would　not　break　it。　And　she
already　saw　herself　at　Lheureux's　spreading　out　her　three
bank…notes　on　his　bureau。　Then　she　would　have　to　invent　some
story　to　explain　matters　to　Bovary。　What　should　it　be？
The　nurse；　however；　was　a　long　while　gone。　But；　as　there　was　no
clock　in　the　cot；　Emma　feared　she　was　perhaps　exaggerating　the
length　of　time。　She　began　walking　round　the　garden；　step　by　step；
she　went　into　the　path　by　the　hedge；　and　returned　quickly；　hoping
that　the　woman　would　have　come　back　by　another　road。　At　last；
weary　of　waiting；　assailed　by　fears　that　she　thrust　from　her；　no
longer　conscious　whether　she　had　been　here　a　century　or　a　moment；
she　sat　down　in　a　corner；　closed　her　eyes；　and　stopped　her　ears。
The　gate　grated；　she　sprang　up。　Before　she　had　spoken　Mere　Rollet
said　to　her
〃There　is　no　one　at　your　house！〃
〃What？〃
〃Oh；　no　one！　And　the　doctor　is　crying。　He　is　calling　for　you；
they're　looking　for　you。〃
Emma　answered　nothing。　She　gasped　as　she　turned　her　eyes　about
her；　while　the　peasant　woman；　frightened　at　her　face；　drew　back
instinctively；　thinking　her　mad。　Suddenly　she　struck　her　brow　and
uttered　a　cry；　for　the　thought　of　Rodolphe；　like　a　flash　of
lightning　in　a　dark　night；　had　passed　into　her　soul。　He　was　so
good；　so　delicate；　so　generous！　And　besides；　should　he　hesitate
to　do　her　this　service；　she　would　know　well　enough　how　to
constrain　him　to　it　by　re…waking；　in　a　single　moment；　their　lost
love。　So　she　set　out　towards　La　Huchette；　not　seeing　that　she　was
hastening　to　offer　herself　to　that　which　but　a　while　ago　had　so
angered　her；　not　in　the　least　conscious　of　her　prostitution。

Chapter　Eight
She　asked　herself　as　she　walked　along；　〃What　am　I　going　to　say？
How　shall　I　begin？〃　And　as　she　went　on　she　recognised　the
thickets；　the　trees；　the　sea…rushes　on　the　hill；　the　chateau
yonder。　All　the　sensations　of　her　first　tenderness　came　back　to
her；　and　her　poor　aching　heart　opened　out　amorously。　A　warm　wind
blew　in　her　face；　the　melting　snow　fell　drop　by　drop　from　the
buds　to　the　grass。
She　entered；　as　she　used　to；　through　the　small　park…gate。　She
reached　the　avenue　bordered　by　a　double　row　of　dense　lime…trees。
They　were　swaying　their　long　whispering　branches　to　and　fro。　The
dogs　in　their　kennels　all　barked；　and　the　noise　of　their　voices
resounded；　but　brought　out　no　one。
She　went　up　the　large　straight　staircase　with　wooden　balusters
that　led　to　the　corridor　paved　with　dusty　flags；　into　which
several　doors　in　a　row　opened；　as　in　a　monastery　or　an　inn。　His
was　at　the　top；　right　at　the　end；　on　the　left。　When　she　placed
her　fingers　on　the　lock　her　strength　suddenly　deserted　her。　She
was　afraid；　almost　wished　he　would　not　be　there；　though　this　was
her　only　hope；　her　last　chance　of　salvation。　She　collected　her
thoughts　for　one　moment；　and；　strengthening　herself　by　the
feeling　of　present　necessity；　went　in。
He　was　in　front　of　the　fire；　both　his　feet　on　the　mantelpiece；
smoking　a　pipe。
〃What！　it　is　you！〃　he　said；　getting　up　hurriedly。
〃Yes；　it　is　I；　Rodolphe。　I　should　like　to　ask　your　advice。〃
And；　despite　all　her　efforts；　it　was　impossible　for　her　to
open　her　lips。
〃You　have　not　changed；　you　are　charming　as　ever！〃
〃Oh；〃　she　replied　bitterly；　〃they　are　poor　charms　since　you
disdained　them。〃
Then　he　began　a　long　explanation　of　his　conduct；　excusing　himself
in　vague　terms；　in　default　of　being　able　to　invent　better。
She　yielded　to　his　words；　still　more　to　his　voice　and　the　sight
of　him；　so　that；　she　pretended　to　believe；　or　perhaps　believed；
in　the　pretext　he　gave　for　their　rupture；　this　was　a　secret　on
which　depended　the　honour；　the　very　life　of　a　third　person。
〃No　matter！〃　she　said；　looking　at　him　sadly。　〃I　have　suffered
much。〃
He　replied　philosophically
〃Such　is　life！〃
〃Has　life；〃　Emma　went　on；　〃been　good　to　you　at　least；　since　our
separation？〃
〃Oh；　neither　good　nor　bad。〃
〃Perhaps　it　would　have　been　better　never　to　have　parted。〃
〃Yes；　perhaps。〃
〃You　think　so？〃　she　said；　drawing　nearer；　and　she　sighed。　〃Oh；
Rodolphe！　if　you　but　knew！　I　loved　you　so！〃
It　was　then　that　she　took　his　hand；　and　they　remained　some　time；
their　fingers　intertwined；　like　that　first　day　at　the　Show。　With
a　gesture　of　pride　he　struggled　against　this　emotion。　But　sinking
upon　his　breast　she　said　to　him
〃How　did　you　think　I　could　live　without　you？　One　cannot　lose　the
habit　of　happiness。　I　was　desolate。　I　thought　I　should　die。　I
will　tell　you　about　all　that　and　you　will　see。　And　youyou　fled
from　me！〃
For；　all　the　three　years；　he　had　carefully　avoided　her　in
consequence　of　that　natural　cowardice　that　characterises　the
stronger　sex。　Emma　went　on；　with　dainty　little　nods；　more　coaxing
than　an　amorous　kitten
〃You　love　others；　confess　it！　Oh；　I　understand　them；　dear！　I
excuse　them。　You　probably　seduced　them　as　you　seduced　me。　You　are
indeed　a　man；　you　have　everything　to　make　one　love　you。　But　we'll
begin　again；　won't　we？　We　will　love　one　another。　See！　I　am
laughing；　I　am　happy！　Oh；　speak！〃
And　she　was　charming　to　see；　with　her　eyes；　in　which　trembled　a
tear；　like　the　rain　of　a　storm　in　a　blue　corolla。
He　had　drawn　her　upon　his　knees；　and　with　the　back　of　his　hand
was　caressing　her　smooth　hair；　where　in　the　twilight　was　mirrored
like　a　golden　arrow　one　last　ray　of　the　sun。　She　bent　down　her
brow；　at　last　he　kissed　her　on　the　eyelids　quite　gently　with　the
tips　of　his　lips。
〃Why；　you　have　been　crying！　What　for？〃
She　burst　into　tears。　Rodolphe　thought　this　was　an　outburst　of
her　love。　As　she　did　not　speak；　he　took　this　silence　for　a　last
remnant　of　resistance；　and　then　he　cried　out
〃Oh；　forgive　me！　You　are　the　only　one　who　pleases　me。　I　was
imbecile　and　cruel。　I　love　you。　I　will　love　you　always。　What　is
it。　Tell　me！〃　He　was　kneeling　by　her。
〃Well；　I　am　ruined；　Rodolphe！　You　must　lend　me　three　thousand
francs。〃
〃Butbut〃　said　he；　getting　up　slowly；　while　his　face　assumed　a
grave　expression。
〃You　know；〃　she　went　on　quickly；　〃that　my　husband　had　placed　his
whole　fortune　at　a　notary's。　He　ran　away。　So　we　borrowed；　the
patients　don't　pay　us。　Moreover；　the　settling　of　the　estate　is
not　yet　done；　we　shall　have　the　money　later　on。　But　to…day；　for
want　of　three　thousand　francs；　we　are　to　be　sold　up。　It　is　to　be
at　once；　this　very　moment；　and；　counting　upon　your　friendship；　I
have　come　to　you。〃
〃Ah！〃　thought　Rodolphe；　turning　very　pale；　〃that　was　what　she
came　for。〃　At　last　he　said　with　a　calm　air
〃Dear　madame；　I　have　not　got　them。〃
He　did　not　lie。　If　he　had　had　them；　he　would；　no　doubt；　have
given　them；　although　it　is　generally　disagreeable　to　do　such　fine
things：　a　demand　for　money　being；　of　all　the　winds　that　blow　upon
love；　the　coldest　and　most　destructive。
First　she　looked　at　him　for　some　moments。
〃You　have　not　got　them！〃　she　repeated　several　times。　〃You　have
not　got　them！　I　ought　to　have　spared　myself　this　last　shame。　You
never　loved　me。　You　are　no　better　than　the　others。〃
She　was　betraying；　ruining　herself。
Rodolphe　interrupted　her；　declaring　he　was　〃hard　up〃　himself。
〃Ah！　I　pity　you；〃　said　Emma。　〃Yesvery　much。〃
And　fixing　her　eyes　upon　an　embossed　carabine；　that　shone　against
its　panoply；　〃But　when　one　is　so　poor　one　doesn't　have　silver　on
the　butt　of　one's　gun。　One　doesn't　buy　a　clock　inlaid　with
tortoise　shell；〃　she　went　on；　pointing　to　a　buhl　timepiece；　〃nor
silver…gilt　whistles　for　one's　whips；〃　and　she　touched　them；　〃nor
charms　for　one's　watch。　Oh；　he　wants　for　nothing！　even　to　a
liqueur…stand　in　his　room！　For　you　love　yourself；　you　live　well。
You　have　a　chateau；　farms；　woods；　you　go　hunting；　you　travel　to
Paris。　Why；　if　it　were　but　that；〃　she　cried；　taking　up　two　studs
from　the　mantelpiece；　〃but　the　least　of　these　trifles；　one　can
get　money　for　them。　Oh；　I　do　not　want　them；　keep　them！〃
And　she　threw　the　two　links　away　from　her；　their　gold　chain
breaking　as　it　struck　against　the　wall。
〃But　I！　I　would　have　given　you　everything。　I　would　have　sold　all；
worked　for　you　with　my　hands；　I　would　have　begged　on　the
highroads　for　a　smile；　for　a　look；　to　hear　you　say　'Thanks！'　And
you　sit　there　quietly　in　your　arm…chair；　as　if　you　had　not　made
me　suffer　enough　already！　But　for　you；　and　you　know　it；　I　might
have　lived　happily。　What　made　you　do　it？　Was　it　a　bet？　Yet　you
loved　meyou　said　so。　And　but　a　moment　sinceAh！　it　would　have
been　better　to　have　driven　me　away。　My　hands　are　hot　with　your
kisses；　and　there　is　the　spot　on　the　carpet　where　at　my　knees　you
swore　an　eternity　of　love！　You　made　me　believe　you；　for　two　years
you　held　me　in　the　most　magnificent；　the　sweetest　dream！　Eh！　Our
plans　for　the　journey；　do　you　remem