madame bovary(包法利夫人)-第60节

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from　the　father's　estate。　The　mother…in…law　replied　that　she　had
nothing　more；　the　winding　up　was　over；　and　there　was　due　to　them
besides　Barneville　an　income　of　six　hundred　francs；　that　she
would　pay　them　punctually。
Then　Madame　Bovary　sent　in　accounts　to　two　or　three　patients；　and
she　made　large　use　of　this　method；　which　was　very　successful。　She
was　always　careful　to　add　a　postscript：　〃Do　not　mention　this　to
my　husband；　you　know　how　proud　he　is。　Excuse　me。　Yours
obediently。〃　There　were　some　complaints；　she　intercepted　them。
To　get　money　she　began　selling　her　old　gloves；　her　old　hats；　the
old　odds　and　ends；　and　she　bargained　rapaciously；　her　peasant
blood　standing　her　in　good　stead。　Then　on　her　journey　to　town　she
picked　up　nick…nacks　secondhand；　that；　in　default　of　anyone　else；
Monsieur　Lheureux　would　certainly　take　off　her　hands。　She　bought
ostrich　feathers；　Chinese　porcelain；　and　trunks；　she　borrowed
from　Felicite；　from　Madame　Lefrancois；　from　the　landlady　at　the
Croix…Rouge；　from　everybody；　no　matter　where。
With　the　money　she　at　last　received　from　Barneville　she　paid　two
bills；　the　other　fifteen　hundred　francs　fell　due。　She　renewed　the
bills；　and　thus　it　was　continually。
Sometimes；　it　is　true；　she　tried　to　make　a　calculation；　but　she
discovered　things　so　exorbitant　that　she　could　not　believe　them
possible。　Then　she　recommenced；　soon　got　confused；　gave　it　all
up；　and　thought　no　more　about　it。
The　house　was　very　dreary　now。　Tradesmen　were　seen　leaving　it
with　angry　faces。　Handkerchiefs　were　lying　about　on　the　stoves；
and　little　Berthe；　to　the　great　scandal　of　Madame　Homais；　wore
stockings　with　holes　in　them。　If　Charles　timidly　ventured　a
remark；　she　answered　roughly　that　it　wasn't　her　fault。
What　was　the　meaning　of　all　these　fits　of　temper？　She　explained
everything　through　her　old　nervous　illness；　and　reproaching
himself　with　having　taken　her　infirmities　for　faults；　accused
himself　of　egotism；　and　longed　to　go　and　take　her　in　his　arms。
〃Ah；　no！〃　he　said　to　himself；　〃I　should　worry　her。〃
And　he　did　not　stir。
After　dinner　he　walked　about　alone　in　the　garden；　he　took　little
Berthe　on　his　knees；　and　unfolding　his　medical　journal；　tried　to
teach　her　to　read。　But　the　child；　who　never　had　any　lessons；　soon
looked　up　with　large；　sad　eyes　and　began　to　cry。　Then　he
comforted　her；　went　to　fetch　water　in　her　can　to　make　rivers　on
the　sand　path；　or　broke　off　branches　from　the　privet　hedges　to
plant　trees　in　the　beds。　This　did　not　spoil　the　garden　much；　all
choked　now　with　long　weeds。　They　owed　Lestiboudois　for　so　many
days。　Then　the　child　grew　cold　and　asked　for　her　mother。
〃Call　the　servant；〃　said　Charles。　〃You　know；　dearie；　that　mamma
does　not　like　to　be　disturbed。〃
Autumn　was　setting　in；　and　the　leaves　were　already　falling；　as
they　did　two　years　ago　when　she　was　ill。　Where　would　it　all　end？
And　he　walked　up　and　down；　his　hands　behind　his　back。
Madame　was　in　her　room；　which　no　one　entered。　She　stayed　there
all　day　long；　torpid；　half　dressed；　and　from　time　to　time　burning
Turkish　pastilles　which　she　had　bought　at　Rouen　in　an　Algerian's
shop。　In　order　not　to　have　at　night　this　sleeping　man　stretched
at　her　side；　by　dint　of　manoeuvring；　she　at　last　succeeded　in
banishing　him　to　the　second　floor；　while　she　read　till　morning
extravagant　books；　full　of　pictures　of　orgies　and　thrilling
situations。　Often；　seized　with　fear；　she　cried　out；　and　Charles
hurried　to　her。
〃Oh；　go　away！〃　she　would　say。
Or　at　other　times；　consumed　more　ardently　than　ever　by　that　inner
flame　to　which　adultery　added　fuel；　panting；　tremulous；　all
desire；　she　threw　open　her　window；　breathed　in　the　cold　air；
shook　loose　in　the　wind　her　masses　of　hair；　too　heavy；　and；
gazing　upon　the　stars；　longed　for　some　princely　love。　She　thought
of　him；　of　Leon。　She　would　then　have　given　anything　for　a　single
one　of　those　meetings　that　surfeited　her。
These　were　her　gala　days。　She　wanted　them　to　be　sumptuous；　and
when　he　alone　could　not　pay　the　expenses；　she　made　up　the　deficit
liberally；　which　happened　pretty　well　every　time。　He　tried　to
make　her　understand　that　they　would　be　quite　as　comfortable
somewhere　else；　in　a　smaller　hotel；　but　she　always　found　some
objection。
One　day　she　drew　six　small　silver…gilt　spoons　from　her　bag　（they
were　old　Roualt's　wedding　present）；　begging　him　to　pawn　them　at
once　for　her；　and　Leon　obeyed；　though　the　proceeding　annoyed　him。
He　was　afraid　of　compromising　himself。
Then；　on；　reflection；　he　began　to　think　his　mistress's　ways　were
growing　odd；　and　that　they　were　perhaps　not　wrong　in　wishing　to
separate　him　from　her。
In　fact　someone　had　sent　his　mother　a　long　anonymous　letter　to
warn　her　that　he　was　〃ruining　himself　with　a　married　woman；〃　and
the　good　lady　at　once　conjuring　up　the　eternal　bugbear　of
families　the　vague　pernicious　creature；　the　siren；　the　monster；
who　dwells　fantastically　in　depths　of　love；　wrote　to　Lawyer
Dubocage；　his　employer；　who　behaved　perfectly　in　the　affair。　He
kept　him　for　three　quarters　of　an　hour　trying　to　open　his　eyes；
to　warn　him　of　the　abyss　into　which　he　was　falling。　Such　an
intrigue　would　damage　him　later　on；　when　he　set　up　for　himself。
He　implored　him　to　break　with　her；　and；　if　he　would　not　make　this
sacrifice　in　his　own　interest；　to　do　it　at　least　for　his；
Dubocage's　sake。
At　last　Leon　swore　he　would　not　see　Emma　again；　and　he　reproached
himself　with　not　having　kept　his　word；　considering　all　the　worry
and　lectures　this　woman　might　still　draw　down　upon　him；　without
reckoning　the　jokes　made　by　his　companions　as　they　sat　round　the
stove　in　the　morning。　Besides；　he　was　soon　to　be　head　clerk；　it
was　time　to　settle　down。　So　he　gave　up　his　flute；　exalted
sentiments；　and　poetry；　for　every　bourgeois　in　the　flush　of　his
youth；　were　it　but　for　a　day；　a　moment；　has　believed　himself
capable　of　immense　passions；　of　lofty　enterprises。　The　most
mediocre　libertine　has　dreamed　of　sultanas；　every　notary　bears
within　him　the　debris　of　a　poet。
He　was　bored　now　when　Emma　suddenly　began　to　sob　on　his　breast；
and　his　heart；　like　the　people　who　can　only　stand　a　certain
amount　of　music；　dozed　to　the　sound　of　a　love　whose　delicacies　he
no　longer　noted。
They　knew　one　another　too　well　for　any　of　those　surprises　of
possession　that　increase　its　joys　a　hundred…fold。　She　was　as　sick
of　him　as　he　was　weary　of　her。　Emma　found　again　in　adultery　all
the　platitudes　of　marriage。
But　how　to　get　rid　of　him？　Then；　though　she　might　feel　humiliated
at　the　baseness　of　such　enjoyment；　she　clung　to　it　from　habit　or
from　corruption；　and　each　day　she　hungered　after　them　the　more；
exhausting　all　felicity　in　wishing　for　too　much　of　it。　She
accused　Leon　of　her　baffled　hopes；　as　if　he　had　betrayed　her；　and
she　even　longed　for　some　catastrophe　that　would　bring　about　their
separation；　since　she　had　not　the　courage　to　make　up　her　mind　to
it　herself。
She　none　the　less　went　on　writing　him　love　letters；　in　virtue　of
the　notion　that　a　woman　must　write　to　her　lover。
But　whilst　she　wrote　it　was　another　man　she　saw；　a　phantom
fashioned　out　of　her　most　ardent　memories；　of　her　finest　reading；
her　strongest　lusts；　and　at　last　he　became　so　real；　so　tangible；
that　she　palpitated　wondering；　without；　however；　the　power　to
imagine　him　clearly；　so　lost　was　he；　like　a　god；　beneath　the
abundance　of　his　attributes。　He　dwelt　in　that　azure　land　where
silk　ladders　hang　from　balconies　under　the　breath　of　flowers；　in
the　light　of　the　moon。　She　felt　him　near　her；　he　was　coming；　and
would　carry　her　right　away　in　a　kiss。
Then　she　fell　back　exhausted；　for　these　transports　of　vague　love
wearied　her　more　than　great　debauchery。
She　now　felt　constant　ache　all　over　her。　Often　she　even　received
summonses；　stamped　paper　that　she　barely　looked　at。　She　would
have　liked　not　to　be　alive；　or　to　be　always　asleep。
On　Mid…Lent　she　did　not　return　to　Yonville；　but　in　the　evening
went　to　a　masked　ball。　She　wore　velvet　breeches；　red　stockings；　a
club　wig；　and　three…cornered　hat　cocked　on　one　side。　She　danced
all　night　to　the　wild　tones　of　the　trombones；　people　gathered
round　her；　and　in　the　morning　she　found　herself　on　the　steps　of
the　theatre　together　with　five　or　six　masks；　debardeuses*　and
sailors；　Leon's　comrades；　who　were　talking　about　having　supper。
*　People　dressed　as　longshoremen。

The　neighbouring　cafes　were　full。　They　caught　sight　of　one　on　the
harbour；　a　very　indifferent　restaurant；　whose　proprietor　showed
them　to　a　little　room　on　the　fourth　floor。
The　men　were　whispering　in　a　corner；　no　doubt　consorting　about
expenses。　There　were　a　clerk；　two　medical　students；　and　a
shopmanwhat　company　for　her！　As　to　the　women；　Emma　soon
perceived　from　the　tone　of　their　voices　that　they　must　almost
belong　to　the　lowest　class。　Then　she　was　frightened；　pushed　back
her　chair；　and　cast　down　her　eyes。
The　others　began　to　eat；　she　ate　nothing。　Her　head　was　on　fire；
her　eyes　smarted；　and　her　skin　was　ice…cold。　In　her　head　she
seemed　to　feel　the　floor　of　the　ball…room　rebounding　again
beneath　the　rhythmical　pulsation　of　the　thousands　of　dancing
feet。　And　now　the　smell　of　the　punch；　the　smoke　of　the　cigars；
made　her　giddy。　She　fainted；　and　they　carried　her　to　the　window。
Day　was　breaking；　and　a