a mountain woman(山妇)-第4节
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
wonderful contralto； cold at times； and again lit up with gleams of pas…
sion。 The music itself was fitful； now full of joy； now tender； and now sad：
〃Look off； dear love； across the sallow sands； And mark yon
meeting of the sun and sea； How long they kiss in sight of all the lands；
Ah！ longer； longer we。〃
〃She has a genius for feeling； hasn't she？〃 Leroy whispered to me。
〃A genius for feeling！〃 I repeated； angrily。 〃Man； she has a heart and a
soul and a brain； if that is what you mean！ I shouldn't think you would be
able to look at her from the standpoint of a critic。〃
Leroy shrugged his shoulders and went off。 For a moment I almost
hated him for not feeling more resentful。 I felt as if he owed it to his wife
to take offence at my foolish speech。
It was evident that the 〃mountain woman〃 had become the fashion。 I
12
… Page 13…
A Mountain Woman
read reports in the papers about her unique receptions。 I saw her name
printed conspicuously among the list of those who attended all sorts of
dinners and musicales and evenings among the set that affected
intellectual pursuits。 She joined a number of women's clubs of an
exclusive kind。
〃She is doing whatever her husband tells her to；〃 said Jessica。 〃Why；
the other day I heard her ruining her voice on 'Siegfried'！〃
But from day to day I noticed a difference in her。 She developed a
terrible activity。 She took personal charge of the affairs of her house； she
united with Leroy in keep… ing the house filled with guests； she got on the
board of a hospital for little children； and spent a part of every day among
the cots where the sufferers lay。 Now and then when we spent a quiet
evening alone with her and Leroy； she sewed continually on little white
night…gowns for these poor babies。 She used her carriage to take the most
ex… traordinary persons riding。
〃In the cause of health；〃 Leroy used to say； 〃I ought to have the
carriage fumi… gated after every ride Judith takes； for she is always
accompanied by some one who looks as if he or she should go into
quarantine。〃
One night； when he was chaffing her in this way； she flung her sewing
suddenly from her and sprang to her feet； as if she were going to give way
to a burst of girlish temper。 Instead of that； a stream of tears poured from
her eyes； and she held out her trembling hands toward Jessica。
〃He does not know；〃 she sobbed。 〃He cannot understand。〃
One memorable day Leroy hastened over to us while we were still at
breakfast to say that Judith was ill； strangely ill。 All night long she had
been muttering to herself as if in a delirium。 Yet she answered lucidly all
questions that were put to her。
〃She begs for Miss Grant。 She says over and over that she 'knows；'
whatever that may mean。〃
When Jessica came home she told me she did not know。 She only felt
that a tumult of impatience was stirring in her friend。
〃There is something majestic about her； something epic。 I feel as if
13
… Page 14…
A Mountain Woman
she were mak… ing me live a part in some great drama； the end of which I
cannot tell。 She is suffering； but I cannot tell why she suffers。〃
Weeks went on without an abatement in this strange illness。 She did
not keep her bed。 Indeed； she neglected few of her usual occupations。 But
her hands were burning； and her eyes grew bright with that wild sort of
lustre one sees in the eyes of those who give themselves up to strange
drugs or manias。 She grew whimsical； and formed capricious friendships；
only to drop them。
And then one day she closed her house to all acquaintances； and sat
alone continu… ally in her room； with her hands clasped in her lap； and her
eyes swimming with the emotions that never found their way to her
tongue。
Brainard came to the office to talk with me about her one day。 〃I am a
very miser… able man； Grant；〃 he said。 〃I am afraid I have lost my wife's
regard。 Oh； don't tell me it is partly my fault。 I know it well enough。 And I
know you haven't had a very good opinion of me lately。 But I am
remorseful enough now； God knows。 And I would give my life to see her
as she was when I found her first among the mountains。 Why； she used to
climb them like a strong man； and she was forever shouting and singing。
And she had peopled every spot with strange modern mythological
creatures。 Her father is an old dreamer； and she got the trick from him。
They had a little telescope on a great knoll in the centre of the valley； just
where it commanded a long path of stars； and they used to spend nights
out there when the frost literally fell in flakes。 When I think how hardy
and gay she was； how full of courage and life； and look at her now； so
feverish and broken； I feel as if I should go mad。 You know I never meant
to do her any harm。 Tell me that much； Grant。〃
〃I think you were very egotistical for a while； Brainard； and that is a
fact。 And you didn't appreciate how much her nature demanded。 But I do
not think you are re… sponsible for your wife's present condition。 If there is
any comfort in that statement； you are welcome to it。〃
〃But you don't mean 〃 he got no further。
〃I mean that your wife may have her reservations； just as we all have；
14
… Page 15…
A Mountain Woman
and I am paying her high praise when I say it。 You are not so narrow；
Leroy； as to suppose for a moment that the only sort of passion a woman is
capable of is that which she enter… tains for a man。 How do I know what is
going on in your wife's soul？ But it is nothing which even an idealist of
women； such as I am； old fellow； need regret。〃
How glad I was afterward that I spoke those words。 They exercised a
little re… straint； perhaps； on Leroy when the day of his terrible trial came。
They made him wrestle with the demon of suspicion that strove to possess
him。 I was sitting in my office； lagging dispiritedly over my work one day；
when the door burst open and Brainard stood beside me。 Brainard； I say；
and yet in no sense the man I had known； not a hint in this pale creature；
whose breath struggled through chattering teeth； and whose hands worked
in uncontrollable spasms； of the nonchalant elegant I had known。 Not a
glimpse to be seen in those angry and determined eyes of the gayly selfish
spirit of my holiday friend。
〃She's gone！〃 he gasped。 〃Since yes… terday。 And I'm here to ask you
what you think now？ And what you know。〃
A panorama of all shameful possibilities for one black moment floated
before me。 I remember this gave place to a wave； cold as death； that swept
from head to foot； then Brainard's hands fell heavily on my shoulders。
〃Thank God at least for this much；〃 he said； hoarsely； 〃I didn't know at
first but I had lost both friend and wife。 But I see you know nothing。 And
indeed in my heart I knew all the time that you did not。 Yet I had to come
to you with my anger。 And I remembered how you defended her。 What
explanation can you offer now？〃
I got him to sit down after a while and tell me what little there was to
tell。 He had been away for a day's shooting； and when he returned he
found only the per… plexed servants at home。 A note was left for him。 He
showed it to me。
〃There are times；〃 it ran； 〃when we must do as we must； not as we
would。 I am go… ing to do something I have been driven to do since I left
my home。 I do not leave any message of love for you； because you would
not care for it from a woman so weak as I。 But it is so easy for you to be
15
… Page 16…
A Mountain Woman
happy that I hope in a little while you will forget the wife who yielded to
an influence past resisting。 It may be madness； but I am not great enough
to give it up。 I tried to make the sacrifice； but I could not。 I tried to be as
gay as you； and to live your
