the island pharisees-第35节

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and　get　home　that　way；　but　you　'll　be　tired。〃



Antonia　shook　her　head。　　Aslant　her　cheek　the　brim　of　a　straw　hat

threw　a　curve　of　shade；　her　ear　glowed　transparent　in　the　sun。



A　difference　had　come　in　their　relations　since　that　kiss；　outwardly

she　was　the　same　good　comrade；　cool　and　quick。　　But　as　before　a

change　one　feels　the　subtle　difference　in　the　temper　of　the　wind；　so

Shelton　was　affected　by　the　inner　change　in　her。　　He　had　made　a　blot

upon　her　candour；　he　had　tried　to　rub　it　out　again；　but　there　was

left　a　mark；　and　it　was　ineffaceable。　　Antonia　belonged　to　the　most

civilised　division　of　the　race　most　civilised　in　all　the　world；　whose

creed　is　〃Let　us　love　and　hate；　let　us　work　and　marry；　but　let　us

never　give　ourselves　away；　to　give　ourselves　away　is　to　leave　a　mark；

and　that　is　past　forgive　ness。　　Let　our　lives　be　like　our　faces；　free

from　every　kind　of　wrinkle；　even　those　of　laughter；　in　this　way　alone

can　we　be　really　civilised。〃



He　felt　that　she　was　ruffled　by　a　vague　discomfort。　　That　he　should

give　himself　away　was　natural；　perhaps；　and　only　made　her　wonder；　but

that　he　should　give　her　the　feeling　that　she　had　given　herself　away

was　a　very　different　thing。



〃Do　you　mind　if　I　just　ask　at　the　Bishop's　Head　for　letters？〃　he

said；　as　they　passed　the　old　hotel。



A　dirty　and　thin　envelope　was　brought　to　him；　addressed　〃Mr。　Richard

Shelton；　Esq。；〃　in　handwriting　that　was　passionately　clear；　as　though

the　writer　had　put　his　soul　into　securing　delivery　of　the　letter。　　It

was　dated　three　days　back；　and；　as　they　rode　away；　Shelton　read　as

follows：



　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　IMPERIAL　PEACOCK　HOTEL；

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　FOLKESTONE。



MON　CHER　MONSIEUR　SHELTON；



This　is　already　the　third　time　I　have　taken　up　pen　to　write　to　you；

but；　having　nothing　but　misfortune　to　recount；　I　hesitated；　awaiting

better　days。　　Indeed；　I　have　been　so　profoundly　discouraged　that　if　I

had　not　thought　it　my　duty　to　let　you　know　of　my　fortunes　I　know　not

even　now　if　I　should　have　found　the　necessary　spirit。　　'Les　choses

vont　de　mal　en　mal'。　　From　what　I　hear　there　has　never　been　so　bad　a

season　here。　　Nothing　going　on。　　All　the　same；　I　am　tormented　by　a

mob　of　little　matters　which　bring　me　not　sufficient　to　support　my

life。　　I　know　not　what　to　do；　one　thing　is　certain；　in　no　case　shall

I　return　here　another　year。　　The　patron　of　this　hotel；　my　good

employer；　is　one　of　those　innumerable　specimens　who　do　not　forge　or

steal　because　they　have　no　need；　and　if　they　had　would　lack　the

courage；　who　observe　the　marriage　laws　because　they　have　been　brought

up　to　believe　in　them；　and　know　that　breaking　them　brings　risk　and

loss　of　reputation；　who　do　not　gamble　because　they　dare　not；　do　not

drink　because　it　disagrees　with　them；　go　to　church　because　their

neighbours　go；　and　to　procure　an　appetite　for　the　mid…day　meal；

commit　no　murder　because；　not　transgressing　in　any　other　fashion；

they　are　not　obliged。　　What　is　there　to　respect　in　persons　of　this

sort？　　Yet　they　are　highly　esteemed；　and　form　three　quarters　of

Society。　　The　rule　with　these　good　gentlemen　is　to　shut　their　eyes；

never　use　their　thinking　powers；　and　close　the　door　on　all　the　dogs

of　life　for　fear　they　should　get　bitten。



Shelton　paused；　conscious　of　Antonia's　eyes　fixed　on　him　with　the

inquiring　look　that　he　had　come　to　dread。　　In　that　chilly　questioning

she　seemed　to　say：　〃I　am　waiting。　　I　am　prepared　to　be　told　things

that　is；　useful　thingsthings　that　help　one　to　believe　without　the

risk　of　too　much　thinking。〃



〃It's　from　that　young　foreigner；〃　he　said；　and　went　on　reading　to

himself。



I　have　eyes；　and　here　I　am；　I　have　a　nose　'pour；　flairer　le　humbug'。

I　see　that　amongst　the　value　of　things　nothing　is　the　equal　of　〃free

thought。〃　　Everything　else　they　can　take　from　me；　'on　ne　pent　pas

m'oter　cela'！　　I　see　no　future　for　me　here；　and　certainly　should　have

departed　long　ago　if　I　had　had　the　money；　but；　as　I　have　already　told

you；　all　that　I　can　do　barely　suffices　to　procure　me　'de　quoi　vivre'。

'Je　me　sens　ecceuye'。　　Do　not　pay　too　much　attention　to　my　Jeremiads；

you　know　what　a　pessimist　I　am。　　'Je　ne　perds　pas　courage'。



Hoping　that　you　are　well；　and　in　the　cordial　pressing　of　your　hand；　I

subscribe　myself；



　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Your　very　devoted



　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　LOUIS　FERRAND。





He　rode　with　the　letter　open　in　his　hand；　frowning　at　the　curious

turmoil　which　Ferrand　excited　in　his　heart。　　It　was　as　though　this

foreign　vagrant　twanged　within　him　a　neglected　string；　which　gave

forth　moans　of　a　mutiny。



〃What　does　he　say？〃　Antonia　asked。



Should　he　show　it　to　her？　　If　he　might　not；　what　should　he　do　when

they　were　married？



〃I　don't　quite　know；〃　he　said　at　last；　〃it　's　not　particularly

cheering。〃'



〃What　is　he　like；　DickI　mean；　to　look　at？　　Like　a　gentleman；　or

what？〃



Shelton　stifled　a　desire　to　laugh。



〃He　looks　very　well　in　a　frock…coat；〃　he　replied；　〃his　father　was　a

wine　merchant。〃



Antonia　flicked　her　whip　against　her　skirt。



〃Of　course；〃　she　murmured；　〃I　don't　want　to　hear　if　there's　anything

I　ought　not。〃



But　instead　of　soothing　Shelton；　these　words　had　just　the　opposite

effect。　　His　conception　of　the　ideal　wife　was　not　that　of　one　from

whom　the　half　of　life　must　be　excluded。



〃It's　only；〃　he　stammered　again；　〃that　it's　not　cheerful。〃



〃Oh；　all　right！〃　　she　cried；　and；　touching　her　horse；　flew　off　in

front。　　〃I　hate　dismal　things。〃



Shelton　bit　his　lips。　　It　was　not　his　fault　that　half　the　world　was

dark。　　He　knew　her　words　were　loosed　against　himself；　and；　as　always

at　a　sign　of　her　displeasure；　was　afraid。　　He　galloped　after　her　on

the　scorched　turf。



〃　What　is　it？〃　he　said。　　〃You　're　angry　with　me！〃



〃Oh　no！〃



〃Darling；　I　can't　help　it　if　things　are　n't　cheerful。　　We　have　eyes；〃

he　added；　quoting　from　the　letter。



Antonia　did　not　look　at　him；　but　touched　her　horse　again。



〃Well；　I　don't　want　to　see　the　gloomy　side；〃　she　said；　〃and　I　can't

see　why　YOU　should。　　It's　wicked　to　be　discontented〃；　and　she

galloped　off。



It　was　not　his　fault　if　there　were　a　thousand　different　kinds　of　men；

a　thousand　different　points　of　view；　outside　the　fence　of　her

experience！　　〃What　business；〃　he　thought；　digging　in　his　dummy　spurs；

〃has　our　class　to　patronise？　　We　're　the　only　people　who　have　n't　an

idea　of　what　life　really　means。〃　　Chips　of　dried　turf　and　dust　came

flying　back；　stinging　his　face。　　He　gained　on　her；　drew　almost　within

reach；　then；　as　though　she　had　been　playing　with　him；　was　left

hopelessly　behind。



She　stooped　under　the　far　hedge；　fanning　her　flushed　face　with　dock…

leaves：



〃Aha；　Dick！　　I　knew　you'd　never　catch　me〃　and　she　patted　the　chestnut

mare；　who　turned　her　blowing　muzzle　with　contemptuous　humour　towards

Shelton's　steed；　while　her　flanks　heaved　rapturously；　gradually

darkening　with　sweat。



〃We'd　better　take　them　steadily；〃　grunted　Shelton；　getting　off　and

loosening　his　girths；　〃if　we　mean　to　get　home　at　all。〃



〃Don't　be　cross；　Dick！〃



〃We　oughtn't　to　have　galloped　them　like　this；　they　're　not　in

condition。　　〃We'd　better　go　home　the　way　we　came。〃



Antonia　dropped　the　reins；　and　straightened　her　back　hair。



〃There　's　no　fun　in　that；〃　she　said。　　〃Out　and　back　again；　I　hate　a

dog's　walk。〃



〃Very　well；〃　said　Shelton；　he　would　have　her　longer　to　himself！



The　road　led　up　and　up　a　hill；　and　from　the　top　a　vision　of　Saxonia

lay　disclosed　in　waves　of　wood　and　pasture。　　Their　way　branched　down

a　gateless　glade；　and　Shelton　sidled　closer　till　his　knee　touched　the

mare's　off…flank。



Antonia's　profile　conjured　up　visions。　　She　was　youth　itself；　her

eyes　so　brilliant；　and　so　innocent；　her　cheeks　so　glowing；　and　her

brow　unruffled；　but　in　her　smile　and　in　the　setting　of　her　jaw　lurked

something　resolute　and　mischievous。　　Shelton　put　his　hand　out　to　the

mare's　mane。



〃What　made　you　promise　to　marry　me？〃　he　said。



She　smiled。



〃Well；　what　made　you？〃



〃I？〃　cried　Shelton。



She　slipped　her　hand　over　his　hand。



〃Oh；　Dick！〃　　she　said。



〃I　want；〃　he　stammered；　〃to　be　everything　to　you。　　Do　you　think　I

shall？〃



〃Of　course！〃



Of　course！　　The　words　seemed　very　much　or　very　little。



She　looked　down　at　the　river；　gleaming　below　the　glade　in　a　curving

silver　line。　　〃Dick；　there　are　such　a　lot　of　splendid　things　that　we

might　do。〃



Did　she　mean；　amongst　those　splendid　things；　that　they　might

understand　each　other；　or　were　they　fated　to　pretend　to　only；　in　the

old　time…honoured　way？



They　crossed　the　river　by　a　ferry；　and　rode　a　long　time　in　silence；

while　the　twilight　slowly　fell　behind　the　aspens。　　And　all　the　beauty

of　the　evening；　with　its　restless　leaves；　its　grave　young　moon；　and

lighted　campion　flowers；　was　but　a　part　of　her；　the　scents；　the

witchery