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welcome; On Mrs。 Bailiff; Mrs。 Tax…Collector; Who'll patronise you with a 



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                            TARTUFFE OR THE HYPOCRITE 



folding…stool。 There; once a year; at carnival; you'll have Perhapsa ball; 

with   orchestratwo   bag…pipes; And   sometimes   a   trained   ape;   and   Punch 

and Judy; Though if your husband 。 。 。 

    MARIANE   Oh;   you'll   kill   me。   Please   Contrive   to   help   me   out   with 

your advice。 

    DORINE I thank you kindly。 

    MARIANE Oh! Dorine; I beg you 。 。 。 

    DORINE To serve you right; this marriage must go through。 

    MARIANE Dear girl! 

    DORINE No。 

    MARIANE If I say I love Valere 。 。 。 

    DORINE No; no。 Tartuffe's your man; and you shall taste him。 

    MARIANE You know I've always trusted you; now help me 。 。 。 

    DORINE No; you shall be; my faith! Tartuffified。 

    MARIANE Well; then; since you've no pity for my fate Let me take 

counsel   only   of   despair;   It   will   advise   and   help   and   give   me   courage; 

There's one sure cure; I know; for all my troubles。 

     (She starts to go。) 

    DORINE There; there! Come back。 I can't be angry long。 I must take 

pity on you; after all。 

    MARIANE Oh; don't you see; Dorine; if I must bear This martyrdom; 

I certainly shall die。 

    DORINE Now don't you fret。 We'll surely find some way。 To hinder 

this 。 。 。 But here's Valere; your lover。 



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                         TARTUFFE OR THE HYPOCRITE 



          SCENE IV VALERE; MARIANE; DORINE 



      VALERE Madam; a piece of newsquite new to me Has just come 

out; and very fine it is。 

    MARIANE What piece of news? 

    VALERE Your marriage with Tartuffe。 

    MARIANE 'Tis true my father has this plan in mind。 

    VALERE Your father; madam 。 。 。 

    MARIANE Yes; he's changed his plans; And did but now propose it to 

me。 

    VALERE What! Seriously? 

    MARIANE Yes; he was serious; And openly insisted on the match。 

    VALERE And what's your resolution in the matter; Madam? 

    MARIANE I don't know。 

    VALERE That's a pretty answer。 You don't know? 

    MARIANE No。 

    VALERE No? 

    MARIANE What do you advise? 

    VALERE I? My advice is; marry him; by all means。 

    MARIANE That's your advice? 

    VALERE Yes。 

    MARIANE Do you mean it? 

    VALERE Surely。 A splendid choice; and worthy of your acceptance。 

    MARIANE Oh; very well; sir! I shall take your counsel。 

    VALERE You'll find no trouble taking it; I warrant。 

    MARIANE No more than you did giving it; be sure。 

    VALERE I gave it; truly; to oblige you; madam。 

    MARIANE And I shall take it to oblige you; sir。 

    Dorine (withdrawing to the back of the stage) Let's see what this affair 

will come to。 

    VALERE So; That is your love? And it was all deceit When you 。 。 。 

    MARIANE I beg you; say no more of that。 You told me; squarely; sir; I 

should accept The husband that is offered me; and I Will tell you squarely 

that I mean to do so; Since you have given me this good advice。 



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     VALERE Don't shield yourself with talk of my advice。 You had your 

mind   made      up;   that's  evident;  And   now    you're  snatching   at   a  trifling 

pretext To justify the breaking of your word。 

     MARIANE Exactly so。 

     VALERE Of course it is; your heart Has never known true love for me。 

     MARIANE Alas! You're free to think so; if you please。 

     VALERE Yes; yes; I'm free to think so; and my outraged love May yet 

forestall you in your perfidy; And offer elsewhere both my heart and hand。 

     MARIANE No doubt of it; the love your high deserts May win 。 。 。 

     VALERE Good Lord; have done with my deserts! I know I have but 

few; and you have proved it。 But I may find more kindness in another; I 

know of someone; who'll not be ashamed To take your leavings; and make 

up my loss。 

     MARIANE   The   loss   is   not   so   great;   you'll   easily   Console   yourself 

completely for this change。 

     VALERE   I'll   try   my   best;   that   you   may   well   believe。   When   we're 

forgotten by a woman's heart; Our pride is challenged; we; too; must forget; 

Or   if   we   cannot;   must   at   least   pretend   to。   No   other   way   can   man   such 

baseness prove; As be a lover scorned; and still in love。 

     MARIANE In faith; a high and noble sentiment。 

     VALERE Yes;   and   it's  one   that   all   men   must   approve。 What! Would 

you   have   me   keep   my   love   alive;  And   see   you   fly   into   another's   arms 

Before my very eyes; and never offer To someone else the heart that you 

had scorned? 

     MARIANE   Oh;   no;   indeed!   For   my   part;   I   could   wish   That   it   were 

done already。      VALERE What! You wish it? 

     MARIANE Yes。 

     VALERE This is insult heaped on injury; I'll go at once and do as you 

desire。 

     (He takes a step or two as if to go away。) 

     MARIANE Oh; very well then。 

     VALERE (turning back) But remember this。 'Twas you that drove me 

to this desperate pass。 

     MARIANE Of course。 



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    VALERE   (turning   back   again) And   in   the   plan   that   I   have   formed   I 

only follow your example。 

    MARIANE Yes。 

    VALERE (at the door) Enough; you shall be punctually obeyed。 

    MARIANE So much the better。 

    VALERE (coming back again) This is once for all。 

    MARIANE So be it; then。 

    VALERE   (He   goes   toward   the   door;   but   just   as   he   reaches   it;   turns 

around) Eh? 

    MARIANE What? 

    VALERE You didn't call me? 

    MARIANE I? You are dreaming。 

    VALERE Very well; I'm gone。 Madam; farewell。 

    (He walks slowly away。) 

    MARIANE Farewell; sir。 

    DORINE I must say You've lost your senses and both gone clean daft! 

I've let you fight it out to the end o' the chapter To see how far the thing 

could go。 Oho; there; Mister Valere! 

    (She goes and seizes him by the arm; to stop him。 He makes a great 

show of resistance。) 

    VALERE What do you want; Dorine? 

    DORINE Come here。 

    VALERE No; no; I'm quite beside myself。 Don't hinder me from doing 

as she wishes。 

    DORINE Stop! 

    VALERE No。 You see; I'm fixed; resolved; determined。 

    DORINE So! 

    MARIANE  (aside)   Since   my  presence   pains him;   makes   him  go;   I'd 

better go myself; and leave him free。 

    DORINE   (leaving   Valere;   and   running   after   Mariane)   Now   t'other! 

Where are you going? 

    MARIANE Let me be。 

    DORINE。 Come back。 

    MARIANE No; no; it isn't any use。 



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     VALERE (aside) 'Tis clear the sight of me is torture to her; No doubt; 

t'were better I should free her from it。 

     DORINE (leaving Mariane and running after Valere) Same thing again! 

Deuce take you both; I say。 Now stop your fooling; come here; you; and 

you。 

     (She pulls first one; then the other; toward the middle of the stage。) 

     VALERE (to Dorine) What's your idea? 

     MARIANE (to Dorine) What can you mean to do? 

     DORINE Set you to rights; and pull you out o' the scrape。 

     (To Valere) Are you quite mad; to quarrel with her now? 

     VALERE Didn't you hear the things she said to me? 

     DORINE (to Mariane) Are you quite mad; to get in such a passion? 

     MARIANE Didn't you see the way he treated me? 

     DORINE Fools; both of you。 

     (To Valere)   She   thinks   of   nothing   else   But   to   keep   faith   with   you;   I 

vouch for it。 

     (To Mariane) And he loves none but you; and longs for nothing   But 

just to marry you; I stake my life on't。 

     MARIANE (to Valere) Why did you give me such advice then; pray? 

     VALERE (to Mariane) Why ask for my advice on such a matter? 

     DORINE You both are daft; I tell you。 Here; your hands。 

     (To Valere) Come; yours。 

     VALERE (giving Dorine his hand) What for? 

     DORINE (to Mariane) Now; yours。 

     MARIANE (giving Dorine her hand) But what's the use? 

     DORINE Oh; quick now; come along。 There; both of you You love 

each other better than you think。 

     (Valere    and   Mariane    hold   each   other's  hands    some    time   without 

looking at each other。) 

     VALERE        (at  last  turning    toward    Mariane)    Come;     don't   be   so 

ungracious now about it; Look at a man as if you didn't hate him。 

     (Mariane looks sideways toward Valere; with just 

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