contributions to-all the year round(一年到头)-第6节
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mocking throng。
Tattlesnivel stoops to demand no championship from her sons。 On an
occasion in History； our bluff British monarch； our Eighth Royal Harry；
almost went there。 And long ere the periodical in which this exposure
will appear； had sprung into being； Tattlesnivel had unfurled that standard
which yet waves upon her battlements。 The standard alluded to； is THE
TATTLESNIVEL BLEATER； containing the latest intelligence； and state
of markets； down to the hour of going to press； and presenting a
favourable local medium for advertisers； on a graduated scale of charges；
considerably diminishing in proportion to the guaranteed number of
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insertions。
It were bootless to expatiate on the host of talent engaged in
formidable phalanx to do fealty to the Bleater。 Suffice it to select； for
present purposes； one of the most gifted and （but for the wide and deep
ramifications of an un…English conspiracy） most rising； of the men who
are bold Albion's pride。 It were needless； after this preamble； to point the
finger more directly at the LONDON CORRESPONDENT OF THE
TATTLESNIVEL BLEATER。
On the weekly letters of that Correspondent； on the flexibility of their
English； on the boldness of their grammar； on the originality of their
quotations （never to be found as they are printed； in any book existing）； on
the priority of their information； on their intimate acquaintance with the
secret thoughts and unexecuted intentions of men； it would ill become the
humble Tattlesnivellian who traces these words； to dwell。 They are
graven in the memory； they are on the Bleater's file。 Let them be referred
to。
But from the infamous； the dark； the subtle conspiracy which spreads
its baleful roots throughout the land； and of which the Bleater's London
Correspondent is the one sole subject； it is the purpose of the lowly
Tattlesnivellian who undertakes this revelation； to tear the veil。 Nor will
he shrink from his self…imposed labour； Herculean though it be。
The conspiracy begins in the very Palace of the Sovereign Lady of our
Ocean Isle。 Leal and loyal as it is the proud vaunt of the Bleater's readers；
one and all； to be； the inhabitant who pens this exposure does not
personally impeach； either her Majesty the queen； or the illustrious Prince
Consort。 But； some silken…clad smoothers； some purple parasites； some
fawners in frippery； some greedy and begartered ones in gorgeous
garments； he does impeachay； and wrathfully！ Is it asked on what
grounds？ They shall be stated。
The Bleater's London Correspondent； in the prosecution of his
important inquiries； goes down to Windsor； sends in his card； has a
confidential interview with her Majesty and the illustrious Prince Consort。
For a time； the restraints of Royalty are thrown aside in the cheerful
conversation of the Bleater's London Correspondent； in his fund of
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information； in his flow of anecdote； in the atmosphere of his genius； her
Majesty brightens； the illustrious Prince Consort thaws； the cares of State
and the conflicts of Party are forgotten； lunch is proposed。 Over that
unassuming and domestic table； her Majesty communicates to the
Bleater's London Correspondent that it is her intention to send his Royal
Highness the Prince of Wales to inspect the top of the Great Pyramid
thinking it likely to improve his acquaintance with the views of the people。
Her Majesty further communicates that she has made up her royal mind
（and that the Prince Consort has made up his illustrious mind） to the
bestowal of the vacant Garter； let us say on Mr。 Roebuck。 The younger
Royal children having been introduced at the request of the Bleater's
London Correspondent； and having been by him closely observed to
present the usual external indications of good health； the happy knot is
severed； with a sigh the Royal bow is once more strung to its full tension；
the Bleater's London Correspondent returns to London； writes his letter；
and tells the Tattlesnivel Bleater what he knows。 All Tattlesnivel reads it；
and knows that he knows it。 But； DOES his Royal Highness the Prince of
Wales ultimately go to the top of the Great Pyramid？ DOES Mr。
Roebuck ultimately get the Garter？ No。 Are the younger Royal
children even ultimately found to be well？ On the contrary； they have
and on that very day had the measles。 Why is this？ BECAUSE THE
CONSPIRATORS AGAINST THE BLEATER'S LONDON
CORRESPONDENT HAVE STEPPED IN WITH THEIR DARK
MACHINATIONS。 Because her Majesty and the Prince Consort are
artfully induced to change their minds； from north to south； from east to
west； immediately after it is known to the conspirators that they have put
themselves in communication with the Bleater's London Correspondent。
It is now indignantly demanded； by whom are they so tampered with？ It
is now indignantly demanded； who took the responsibility of concealing
the indisposition of those Royal children from their Royal and illustrious
parents； and of bringing them down from their beds； disguised； expressly
to confound the London Correspondent of the Tattlesnivel Bleater？ Who
are those persons； it is again asked？ Let not rank and favour protect them。
Let the traitors be exhibited in the face of day！
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Lord John Russell is in this conspiracy。 Tell us not that his Lordship
is a man of too much spirit and honour。 Denunciation is hurled against
him。 The proof？ The proof is here。
The Time is panting for an answer to the question； Will Lord John
Russell consent to take office under Lord Palmerston？ Good。 The
London Correspondent of the Tattlesnivel Bleater is in the act of writing
his weekly letter； finds himself rather at a loss to settle this question finally；
leaves off； puts his hat on； goes down to the lobby of the House of
Commons； sends in for Lord John Russell； and has him out。 He draws
his arm through his Lordship's； takes him aside； and says； 〃John； will you
ever accept office under Palmerston？〃 His Lordship replies； 〃I will not。〃
The Bleater's London Correspondent retorts； with the caution such a man
is bound to use； 〃John； think again； say nothing to me rashly； is there any
temper here？〃 His Lordship replies； calmly； 〃None whatever。〃 After
giving him time for reflection； the Bleater's London Correspondent says；
〃Once more； John； let me put a question to you。 Will you ever accept
office under Palmerston？〃 His Lordship answers （note the exact
expressions）； 〃Nothing shall induce me； ever to accept a seat in a Cabinet
of which Palmerston is the Chief。〃 They part； the London Correspondent
of the Tattlesnivel Bleater finishes his letter； andalways being withheld
by motives of delicacy； from plainly divulging his means of getting
accurate information on every subject； at first handputs in it； this passage：
〃Lord John Russell is spoken of； by blunderers； for Foreign Affairs； but I
have the best reasons for assuring your readers； that〃 （giving prominence
to the exact expressions； it will be observed） 〃'NOTHING WILL EVER
INDUCE HIM； TO ACCEPT A SEAT IN A CABINET OF WHICH
PALMERSTON IS THE CHIEF。' On
