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tea…chests had been flung overboard at Griffin's wharf;but no

matter about that; now。  That is the way things come about in this

world。  I must write a lecture on lucky mishaps; or; more elegantly;

fortunate calamities。  It will be just the converse of that odd essay

of Swift's we read together; the awkward and stupid things done with

the best intentions。  Perhaps I shall deliver the lecture in your

city: you will come and hear it; and bring him; won't

you; dearest?

Always; your loving



LURIDA。









MISS LURIDA VINCENT TO MRS。 EUTHYMIA KIRKWOOD。



It seems forever since you left us; dearest Euthymia!  And are you;

and is your husband; and Paolo;good Paolo;are you all as well and

happy as you have been and as you ought to be?  I suppose our small

village seems a very quiet sort of place to pass the winter in; now

that you have become accustomed to the noise and gayety of a great

city。  For all that; it is a pretty busy place this winter; I can

tell you。  We have sleighing parties;I never go to them; myself;

because I can't keep warm; and my mind freezes up when my blood cools

down below 95 or 96 deg。 Fahrenheit。  I had a great deal rather sit

by a good fire and read about Arctic discoveries。  But I like very

well to hear the bells' jingling and to see the young people trying

to have a good time as hard as they do at a picnic。  It may be that

they do; but to me a picnic is purgatory and a sleigh…ride that other

place; where; as my favorite Milton says; 〃frost performs the effect

of fire。〃  I believe I have quoted him correctly; I ought to; for I

could repeat half his poems from memory once; if I cannot now。



You must have plenty of excitement in your city life。  I suppose you

recognized yourself in one of the society columns of the 〃Household

Inquisitor:〃 〃Mrs。 E。  K。; very beautiful; in an elegant;〃 etc。; etc;

〃with pearls;〃 etc。; etc。;as if you were not the ornament of all

that you wear; no matter what it is!



I am so glad that you have married a scholar!  Why should not

Mauriceyou both tell me to call him sotake the diplomatic office

which has been offered him?  It seems to me that he would find

himself in exactly the right place。  He can talk in two or three

languages; has good manners; and a wife whowell; what shall I say

of Mrs。 Kirkwood but that 〃she would be good company for a queen;〃 as

our old friend the quondam landlady of the Anchor Tavern used to say?

I should so like to see you presented at Court!  It seems to me that

I should be willing to hold your train for the sake of seeing you in

your court feathers and things。



As for myself; I have been thinking of late that I would become

either a professional lecturer or head mistress of a great school or

college for girls。  I have tried the first business a little。  Last

month I delivered a lecture on Quaternions。  I got three for my

audience; two came over from the Institute; and one from that men's

college which they try to make out to be a university; and where no

female is admitted unless she belongs among the quadrupeds。  I

enjoyed lecturing; but the subject is a difficult one; and I don't

think any one of them had any very clear notion of what I was talking

about; except Rhodora;and I know she did n't。  To tell the truth; I

was lecturing to instruct myself。  I mean to try something easier

next time。  I have thought of the Basque language and literature。

What do you say to that?



The Society goes on famously。  We have had a paper presented and read

lately which has greatly amused some of us and provoked a few of the

weaker sort。  The writer is that crabbed old Professor of Belles…

Lettres at that men's college over there。  He is dreadfully hard on

the poor 〃poets;〃 as they call themselves。  It seems that a great

many young persons; and more especially a great many young girls; of

whom the Institute has furnished a considerable proportion; have

taken to sending him their rhymed productions to be criticised;

expecting to be praised; no doubt; every one of them。  I must give

you one of the sauciest extracts from his paper in his own words:



〃It takes half my time to read the 'poems' sent me by young people of

both sexes。  They would be more shy of doing it if they knew that I

recognize a tendency to rhyming as a common form of mental weakness;

and the publication of a thin volume of verse as prima facie evidence

of ambitious mediocrity; if not inferiority。  Of course there are

exceptions to this rule of judgment; but I maintain that the

presumption is always against the rhymester as compared with the less

pretentious persons about him or her; busy with some useful calling;

too busy to be tagging rhymed commonplaces together。  Just now

there seems to be an epidemic of rhyming as bad as the dancing mania;

or the sweating sickness。  After reading a certain amount of

manuscript verse one is disposed to anathematize the inventor of

homophonous syllabification。  'This phrase made a great laugh when it

was read。' This; that is rhyming; must have been found out very

early;



     'Where are you; Adam?'



     'Here am I; Madam;'



but it can never have been habitually practised until after the Fall。

The intrusion of tintinnabulating terminations into the

conversational intercourse of men and angels would have spoiled

Paradise itself。  Milton would not have them even in Paradise Lost;

you remember。  For my own part; I wish certain rhymes could be

declared contraband of written or printed language。  Nothing should

be allowed to be hurled at the world or whirled with it; or furled

upon it or curled over it; all eyes should be kept away from the

skies; in spite of os homini sublime dedit; youth should be coupled

with all the virtues except truth; earth should never be reminded of

her birth; death should never be allowed to stop a mortal's breath;

nor the bell to sound his knell; nor flowers from blossoming bowers

to wave over his grave or show their bloom upon his tomb。  We have

rhyming dictionaries;let us have one from which all rhymes are

rigorously excluded。  The sight of a poor creature grubbing for

rhymes to fill up his sonnet; or to cram one of those voracious;

rhyme…swallowing rigmaroles which some of our drudging poetical

operatives have been exhausting themselves of late to satiate with

jingles; makes my head ache and my stomach rebel。  Work; work of some

kind; is the business of men and women; not the making of jingles!

No;no;no!  I want to see the young people in our schools and

academies and colleges; and the graduates of these institutions;

lifted up out of the little Dismal Swamp of self…contemplating and

self…indulging and self…commiserating emotionalism which is

surfeiting the land with those literary sandwiches;thin slices of

tinkling sentimentality between two covers looking like hard…baked

gilt gingerbread。  But what faces these young folks make up at my

good advice!  They get tipsy on their rhymes。  Nothing intoxicates

one like hisor herown verses; and they hold on to their metre…

ballad…mongering as the fellows that inhale nitrous oxide hold on to

the gas…bag。〃



We laughed over this essay of the old Professor; though it hit us

pretty hard。  The best part of the joke is that the old man himself

published a thin volume of poems when he was young; which there is

good reason to think he is not very proud of; as they say he buys up

all the copies he can find in the shops。  No matter what they say; I

can't help agreeing with him about this great flood of 〃poetry;〃 as

it calls itself; and looking at the rhyming mania much as he does。



How I do love real poetry!  That is the reason hate rhymes which have

not a particle of it in them。  The foolish scribblers that deal in

them are like bad workmen in a carpenter's shop。  They not only turn

out bad jobs of work; but they spoil the tools for better workmen。

There is hardly a pair of rhymes in the English language that is not

so dulled and hacked and gapped by these 'prentice hands that a

master of the craft hates to touch them; and yet he cannot very well

do without them。  I have not been besieged as the old Professor has

been with such multitudes of would…be…poetical aspirants that he

could not even read their manuscripts; but I have had a good many

letters containing verses; and I have warned the writers of the

delusion under which they were laboring。



You may like to know that I have just been translating some extracts

from the Greek Anthology。  I send you a few specimens of my work;

with a Dedication to the Shade of Sappho。  I hope you will find

something of the Greek rhythm in my versions; and that I have caught

a spark of inspiration from the impassioned Lesbian。  I have found

great delight in this work; at any rate; and am never so happy as

when I read from my manuscript or repeat from memory the lines into

which I have transferred the thought of the men and women of two

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