a mortal antipathy-第37节

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horses　like　a　Homeric　hero。　　No　wild　Indian　could　handle　his　bark

canoe　more　dexterously　or　more　vigorously　than　we　have　seen　you

handling　yours。　　There　must　be　some　reason　for　your　seclusion　which

curiosity　has　not　reached；　and　into　which　it　is　not　the　province　of

curiosity　to　inquire。　　But　in　the　irresistible　desire　which　I　have　to

bring　you　into　kindly　relations　with　those　around　you；　I　must　run　the

risk　of　giving　offence　that　I　may　know　in　what　direction　to　look　for

those　restorative　influences　which　the　sympathy　of　a　friend　and

sister　can　offer　to　a　brother　in　need　of　some　kindly　impulse　to

change　the　course　of　a　life　which　is　not；　which　cannot　be；　in

accordance　with　his　true　nature。



I　have　thought　that　there　may　be　something　in　the　conditions　with

which　you　are　here　surrounded　which　is　repugnant　to　your　feelings；

something　which　can　be　avoided　only　by　keeping　yourself　apart　from

the　people　whose　acquaintance　you　would　naturally　have　formed。　　There

can　hardly　be　anything　in　the　place　itself；　or　you　would　not　have

voluntarily　sought　it　as　a　residence；　even　for　a　single　season。

there　might　be　individuals　here　whom　you　would　not　care　to　meet；

there　must　be　such；　but　you　cannot　have　a　personal　aversion　to

everybody。　　I　have　heard　of　cases　in　which　certain　sights　and　sounds；

which　have　no　particular　significance　for　most　persons；　produced

feelings　of　distress　or　aversion　that　made；　them　unbearable　to　the

subjects　of　the　constitutional　dislike。　　It　has　occurred　to　me　that

possibly　you　might　have　some　such　natural　aversion　to　the　sounds　of

the　street；　or　such　as　are　heard　in　most　houses；　especially　where　a

piano　is　kept；　as　it　is　in　fact　in　almost　all　of　those　in　the

village。　　Or　it　might　be；　I　imagined；　that　some　color　in　the　dresses

of　women　or　the　furniture　of　our　rooms　affected　you　unpleasantly。　　I

know　that　instances　of　such　antipathy　have　been　recorded；　and　they

would　account　for　the　seclusion　of　those　who　are　subject　to　it。



If　there　is　any　removable　condition　which　interferes　with　your　free

entrance　into　and　enjoyment　of　the　social　life　around　you；　tell　me；　I

beg　of　you；　tell　me　what　it　is；　and　it　shall　be　eliminated。　　Think　it

not　strange；　O　my　brother；　that　I　thus　venture　to　introduce　myself

into　the　hidden　chambers　of　your　life。　　I　will　never　suffer　myself　to

be　frightened　from　the　carrying　out　of　any　thought　which　promises　to

be　of　use　to　a　fellow…mortal　by　a　fear　lest　it　should　be　considered

〃unfeminine。〃　　I　can　bear　to　be　considered　unfeminine；　but　I　cannot

endure　to　think　of　myself　as　inhuman。　　Can　I　help　you；　my　brother'？



Believe　me　your　most　sincere　well…wisher；



LURIDA　VINCENT。





Euthymia　had　carried　off　this　letter　and　read　it　by　herself。　　As　she

finished　it；　her　feelings　found　expression　in　an　old　phrase　of　her

grandmother's；　which　came　up　of　itself；　as　such　survivals　of　early

days　are　apt　to　do；　on　great　occasions。



〃Well；　I　never！〃



Then　she　loosened　some　button　or　string　that　was　too　tight；　and　went

to　the　window　for　a　breath　of　outdoor　air。　　Then　she　began　at　the

beginning　and　read　the　whole　letter　all　over　again。



What　should　she　do　about　it？　　She　could　not　let　this　young　girl　send

a　letter　like　that　to　a　stranger　of　whose　character　little　was　known

except　by　inference；to　a　young　man；　who　would　consider　it　a　most

extraordinary　advance　on　the　part　of　the　sender。　　She　would　have

liked　to　tear　it　into　a　thousand　pieces；　but　she　had　no　right　to

treat　it　in　that　way。　　Lurida　meant　to　send　it　the　next　morning；　and

in　the　mean　time　Euthymia　had　the　night　to　think　over　what　she　should

do　about　it。



There　is　nothing　like　the　pillow　for　an　oracle。　　There　is　no　voice

like　that　which　breaks　the　silenceof　the　stagnant　hours　of　the

night　with　its　sudden　suggestions　and　luminous　counsels。　　When

Euthymia　awoke　in　the　morning；　her　course　of　action　was　as　clear

before　her　as　if　it　bad　been　dictated　by　her　guardian　angel。　　She

went　straight　over　to　the　home　of　Lurida；　who　was　just　dressed　for

breakfast。



She　was　naturally　a　little　surprised　at　this　early　visit。　　She　was

struck　with　the　excited　look　of　Euthymia；　being　herself　quite　calm；

and　contemplating　her　project　with　entire　complacency。



Euthymia　began；　in　tones　that　expressed　deep　anxiety。



〃I　have　read　your　letter；　my　dear；　and　admired　its　spirit　and　force。

It　is　a　fine　letter；　and　does　you　great　credit　as　an　expression　of

the　truest　human　feeling。　　But　it　must　not　be　sent　to　Mr。　Kirkwood。

If　you　were　sixty　years　old；　perhaps　if　you　were　fifty；　it　might　be

admissible　to　send　it。　　But　if　you　were　forty；　I　should　question　its

propriety；　if　you　were　thirty；　I　should　veto　it；　and　you　are　but　a

little　more　than　twenty。　　How　do　you　know　that　this　stranger　will　not

show　your　letter　to　anybody　or　everybody？　　How　do　you　know　that　he

will　not　send　it　to　one　of　the　gossiping　journals　like　the　'Household

Inquisitor'？　　But　supposing　he　keeps　it　to　himself；　which　is　more

than　you　have　a　right　to　expect；　what　opinion　is　he　likely　to　form　of

a　young　lady　who　invades　his　privacy　with　such　freedom？　　Ten　to　one

he　will　think　curiosity　is　at　the　bottom　of　it；and；come；　don't　be

angry　at　me　for　suggesting　it；may　there　not　be　a　little　of　that

same　motive　mingled　with　the　others？　　No；　don't　interrupt　me　quite

yet；　you　do　want　to　know　whether　your　hypothesis　is　correct。　　You　are

full　of　the　best　and　kindest　feelings　in　the　world；　but　your　desire

for　knowledge　is　the　ferment　under　them　just　now；　perhaps　more　than

you　know。〃



Lurida's　pale　cheeks　flushed　and　whitened　more　than　once　while　her

friend　was　speaking。　　She　loved　her　too　sincerely　and　respected　her

intelligence　too　much　to　take　offence　at　her　advice；　but　she　could

not　give　up　her　humane　and　sisterly　intentions　merely　from　the　fear

of　some　awkward　consequences　to　herself。　　She　had　persuaded　herself

that　she　was　playing　the　part　of　a　Protestant　sister　of　charity；　and

that　the　fact　of　her　not　wearing　the　costume　of　these　ministering

angels　made　no　difference　in　her　relations　to　those　who　needed　her

aid。



〃I　cannot　see　your　objections　in　the　light　in　which　they　appear　to

you；〃　she　said　gravely。　　〃It　seems　to　me　that　I　give　up　everything

when　I　hesitate　to　help　a　fellow…creature　because　I　am　a　woman。　　I　am

not　afraid　to　send　this　letter　and　take　all　the　consequences。〃



〃Will　you　go　with　me　to　the　doctor's；　and　let　him　read　it　in　our

presence？　　And　will　you　agree　to　abide　by　his　opinion；　if　it

coincides　with　mine？〃



Lurida　winced　a　little　at　this　proposal。　　〃I　don't　quite　like；〃　she

said；　〃showing　this　letter　toto〃　she　hesitated；　but　it　had　to　come

out〃to　a　man；　that　is；　to　another　man　than　the　one　for　whom　it　was

intended。〃



The　neuter　gender　business　had　got　a　pretty　damaging　side…hit。



〃Well；　never　mind　about　letting　him　read　the　letter。　　Will　you　go

over　to　his　house　with　me　at　noon；　when　he　comes　back　after　his

morning　visits；　and　have　a　talk　over　the　whole　matter　with　him？　　You

know　I　have　sometimes　had　to　say　must　to　you；　Lurida；　and　now　I　say

you　must　go　to　the　doctor's　with　me　and　carry　that　letter。〃



There　was　no　resisting　the　potent　monosyllable　as　the　sweet　but　firm

voice　delivered　it。　　At　noon　the　two　maidens　rang　at　the　doctor's

door。　　The　servant　said　he　had　been　at　the　house　after　his　morning

visits；　but　found　a　hasty　summons　to　Mr。　Kirkwood；　who　had　been　taken

suddenly　ill　and　wished　to　see　him　at　once。　　Was　the　illness

dangerous？　　The　servant…maid　did　n't　know；　but　thought　it　was　pretty

bad；　for　Mr。　Paul　came　in　as　white　as　a　sheet；　and　talked　all　sorts

of　languages　which　she　couldn't　understand；　and　took　on　as　if　he

thought　Mr。　Kirkwood　was　going　to　die　right　off。



And　so　the　hazardous　question　about　sending　the　letter　was　disposed

of；　at　least　for　the　present。









XVII



Dr。　BUTTS'S　PATIENT。



The　physician　found　Maurice　just　regaining　his　heat　after　a　chill　of

a　somewhat　severe　character。　　He　knew　too　well　what　this　meant；　and

the　probable　series　of　symptoms　of　which　it　was　the　prelude。　　His

patient　was　not　the　only　one　in　the　neighborhood　who　was　attacked　in

this　way。　　The　autumnal　fevers　to　which　our　country　towns　are

subject；　in　the　place　of　those　〃agues；〃　or　intermittents；　so　largely

prevalent　in　the　South　and　West；　were　already　beginning；　and　Maurice；

who　had　exposed　himself　in　the　early　and　late　hours　of　the　dangerous

season；　must　be　expected　to　go　through　the　regular　stages　of　this

always　serious　and　not　rarely　fatal　disease。



Paolo；　his　faithful　servant；　would　fain　have　taken　the　sole　charge　of

his　master　during　his　illness。　　But　the　doctor　insisted　that　he　must

have　a　nurse　to　help　him　in　his　task；　which　was　likely　to　be　long　and

exhausting。



At　the　mention　of　the　word　〃nurse〃　Paolo　turned　white；　and　exclaimed

in　an　agitated　and　thoroughly　frightened　way；



〃No！　no　nuss！　　no　woman！　　She　kill　him！　　I　stay　by　him　day