the way of the world(如此世道)-第16节
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all dormitives； those I allow。 These provisos admitted； in other things I
may prove a tractable and complying husband。
MILLA。 Oh； horrid provisos！ Filthy strong waters！ I toast fellows；
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odious men！ I hate your odious provisos。
MIRA。 Then we're agreed。 Shall I kiss your hand upon the contract？
And here comes one to be a witness to the sealing of the deed。
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SCENE VI。
＇To them＇ MRS。 FAINALL。
MILLA。 Fainall； what shall I do？ Shall I have him？ I think I must have
him。
MRS。 FAIN。 Ay； ay； take him； take him； what should you do？
MILLA。 Well thenI'll take my death I'm in a horrid fright Fainall； I
shall never say it。 WellI thinkI'll endure you。
MRS。 FAIN。 Fie； fie； have him； and tell him so in plain terms： for I am
sure you have a mind to him。
MILLA。 Are you？ I think I have； and the horrid man looks as if he
thought so too。 Well； you ridiculous thing you； I'll have you。 I won't be
kissed； nor I won't be thanked。Here； kiss my hand though； so hold your
tongue now； don't say a word。
MRS。 FAIN。 Mirabell； there's a necessity for your obedience： you have
neither time to talk nor stay。 My mother is coming； and in my conscience
if she should see you； would fall into fits； and maybe not recover time
enough to return to Sir Rowland； who； as Foible tells me； is in a fair way
to succeed。 Therefore spare your ecstasies for another occasion； and slip
down the back stairs； where Foible waits to consult you。
MILLA。 Ay； go； go。 In the meantime I suppose you have said
something to please me。
MIRA。 I am all obedience。
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SCENE VII。
MRS。 MILLAMANT； MRS。 FAINALL。
MRS。 FAIN。 Yonder Sir Wilfull's drunk； and so noisy that my mother
has been forced to leave Sir Rowland to appease him； but he answers her
only with singing and drinking。 What they may have done by this time I
know not； but Petulant and he were upon quarrelling as I came by。
MILLA。 Well； if Mirabell should not make a good husband； I am a lost
thing： for I find I love him violently。
MRS。 FAIN。 So it seems； for you mind not what's said to you。 If you
doubt him； you had best take up with Sir Wilfull。
MILLA。 How can you name that superannuated lubber？ foh！
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SCENE VIII。
＇To them＇ WITWOUD from drinking。
MRS。 FAIN。 So； is the fray made up that you have left 'em？
WIT。 Left 'em？ I could stay no longer。 I have laughed like ten
Christ'nings。 I am tipsy with laughingif I had stayed any longer I should
have burst；I must have been let out and pieced in the sides like an
unsized camlet。 Yes； yes； the fray is composed； my lady came in like a
NOLI PROSEQUI； and stopt the proceedings。
MILLA。 What was the dispute？
WIT。 That's the jest： there was no dispute。 They could neither of 'em
speak for rage； and so fell a sputt'ring at one another like two roasting
apples。
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SCENE IX。
＇To them＇ PETULANT drunk。
WIT。 Now； Petulant？ All's over； all's well？ Gad； my head begins to
whim it about。 Why dost thou not speak？ Thou art both as drunk and as
mute as a fish。
PET。 Look you； Mrs。 Millamant； if you can love me； dear Nymph； say
it； and that's the conclusionpass on； or pass offthat's all。
WIT。 Thou hast uttered volumes； folios； in less than decimo sexto； my
dear Lacedemonian。 Sirrah； Petulant； thou art an epitomiser of words。
PET。 Witwoud；you are an annihilator of sense。
WIT。 Thou art a retailer of phrases； and dost deal in remnants of
remnants； like a maker of pincushions； thou art in truth （metaphorically
speaking） a speaker of shorthand。
PET。 Thou art （without a figure） just one half of an ass； and Baldwin
yonder； thy half…brother； is the rest。 A Gemini of asses split would make
just four of you。
WIT。 Thou dost bite； my dear mustard…seed； kiss me for that。
PET。 Stand offI'll kiss no more malesI have kissed your Twin
yonder in a humour of reconciliation till he ＇hiccup＇ rises upon my
stomach like a radish。
MILLA。 Eh！ filthy creature； what was the quarrel？
PET。 There was no quarrel； there might have been a quarrel。
WIT。 If there had been words enow between 'em to have expressed
provocation； they had gone together by the ears like a pair of castanets。
PET。 You were the quarrel。
MILLA。 Me？
PET。 If I have a humour to quarrel； I can make less matters conclude
premises。 If you are not handsome； what then？ If I have a humour to prove
it？ If I shall have my reward； say so； if not； fight for your face the next
time yourselfI'll go sleep。
WIT。 Do； wrap thyself up like a woodlouse； and dream revenge。 And；
hear me； if thou canst learn to write by to…morrow morning； pen me a
challenge。 I'll carry it for thee。
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PET。 Carry your mistress's monkey a spider； go flea dogs and read
romances。 I'll go to bed to my maid。
MRS。 FAIN。 He's horridly drunkhow came you all in this pickle？
WIT。 A plot； a plot； to get rid of the knightyour husband's advice； but
he sneaked off。
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SCENE X。
SIR WILFULL； drunk； LADY WISHFORT； WITWOUD； MRS。
MILLAMANT； MRS。 FAINALL。
LADY。 Out upon't； out upon't； at years of discretion； and comport
yourself at this rantipole rate！
SIR WIL。 No offence； aunt。
LADY。 Offence？ As I'm a person； I'm ashamed of you。 Fogh！ How you
stink of wine！ D'ye think my niece will ever endure such a Borachio？
You're an absolute Borachio。
SIR WIL。 Borachio？
LADY。 At a time when you should commence an amour； and put your
best foot foremost …
SIR WIL。 'Sheart； an you grutch me your liquor； make a bill。Give me
more drink； and take my purse。 ＇Sings＇：…
Prithee fill me the glass； Till it laugh in my face； With ale that is
potent and mellow； He that whines for a lass Is an ignorant ass； For a
bumper has not its fellow。
But if you would have me marry my cousin； say the word； and I'll
do't。 Wilfull will do't； that's the word。 Wilfull will do't； that's my crest；my
motto I have forgot。
LADY。 My nephew's a little overtaken； cousin； but 'tis drinking your
health。 O' my word； you are obliged to him …
SIR WIL。 IN VINO VERITAS； aunt。 If I drunk your health to…day；
cousin；I am a Borachio。But if you have a mind to be married； say the
word and send for the piper； Wilfull will do't。 If not； dust it away； and let's
have t'other round。 Tonyods…heart； where's Tony？… …Tony's an honest
fellow； but he spits after a bumper； and that's a fault。
We'll drink and we'll never ha' done； boys； Put the glass then around
with the sun； boys； Let Apollo's example invite us； For he's drunk every
night； And that makes him so bright； That he's able next morning to light
us。
The sun's a good pimple； an honest soaker； he has a cellar at your
antipodes。 If I travel； aunt； I touch at your antipodesyour antipodes are a
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good rascally sort of topsy…turvy fellows。 If I had a bumper I'd stand upon
my head and drink a health to 'em。 A match or no match； cousin with the
h
